14. Asher

14

ASHER

T he crispness of the morning air swipes at my face, but I ignore it as I keep up with the pace Levi has set. I groaned when Levi suggested that we go for a run last night. It is one of the few weekends we don’t have a hockey game, and while we have a volunteering event tomorrow, I’d been hoping to sleep in today. However, now I don’t think this run is such a bad idea. It’s helping to clear my mind, especially after my conversation with Isla last night.

As my feet pound the pavement, I can’t shake the memory of how Isla looked when I explained my reasoning for doing what I did. I’d been expecting her to stand up and leave Brewed Beginnings pissed off, and I know I’m fortunate that didn’t happen. With a deep breath, I push myself to run faster, as if I can outrun the emotions that she displayed that have been running on repeat in my mind.

“You’re quiet this morning,” Levi says as he glances at me as we round a corner. “Still thinking about Isla?”

“Yep. Can’t get her out of my head. I thought talking through what happened years ago would make me feel…more at peace with what occurred, but it didn’t. Seeing the look on her face…”

I trail off, unable to find the right words to describe the expression on her face. It’ll take a long time for me to forget it, that’s for sure.

Levi nods, his breath coming out in steady puffs. “It’s a start, though. You’ve taken the first step in mending things with her. That’s not easy.”

“I know, but I can’t help feeling like I should do more. I want to prove to her I’m not the same guy I was back then. That I’ve grown and changed.”

“And you will,” Levi assures me, his tone confident. “Just give it time.”

I grunt in response, my thoughts circling around my next move. It would be easy to just avoid her when I can and keep things professional when I can’t. But I know that’s not the right approach. I can’t let this opportunity slip through my fingers, not when Isla and I are in the same place at the same time.

None of this is a coincidence. I know she’s the one that got away, and now I have the opportunity to right my wrongs.

“Well, I’m thinking of doing something to show her I’m serious about fixing things between us,” I say, breaking the silence between us.

I look over at Levi and see that he’s raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?”

“I’m not sure yet. But something is telling me to do this because just having the talk isn’t enough.”

“What are you trying to get at?”

The tone of his voice almost makes me pause. “What do you mean?”

“Answering my question with a question. Interesting.”

I let out a sigh, my pace slowing so I can think. “I just... I want to do something that shows Isla I’m sincere. That I’m not just saying empty words.”

Levi matches my stride, thankfully. “I get that, but you gotta be careful. You don’t want to come on too strong and push her away.”

“I know, I know.” I run a hand through my hair, which is getting damp. “It’s just... funny. I feel like I was giving you advice about Hailey not too long ago.”

“You were, and now I’m returning the favor, even though I’m still not exactly sure I understand your motives.”

I don’t understand my reasoning either, so at least we’re both on the same page. The headache that is starting to form becomes more pronounced as I try to make sense of all of it. That forces us into another round of silence. The only thing I can hear is the sound of our sneakers hitting the pavement.

“Look, man,” Levi says. “I know you care about Isla. And I respect you for wanting to make things right. But you gotta be honest with yourself about your intentions.”

I let out a heavy sigh, knowing he is right. The truth is, my feelings for Isla have always been more complicated than I’ve been willing to admit. Even after all these years, the connection between us is still there. In fact, it might have grown stronger because of us being apart.

“I don’t know what I want,” I confess for the first time out loud.

“Are you sure about that, or are you trying to bullshit me and yourself?”

He got me again. “Fine. I want Isla back in my life and in my bed.”

“Makes sense, given that she’s causing you to snap on some of our teammates.”

“Of course you know about that,” I say as I think about Knox. We’d been doing our best to avoid each other since things hit the fan in our kitchen and have been doing a good job at it. I wonder who ratted, but it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. “By the way, he started it.”

“I’m not surprised. And I’m talking to you not only as your best friend but also as the captain of the team. We can’t have you and Knox on the outs and expect to continue winning games.”

“I get it, but you know how Knox can be. He just gets under my skin sometimes.”

“I know, but usually, you’re good about avoiding his shit. We need you to find a way to work together, regardless of your personal issues.”

The team has to come first above everything, even if that means swallowing my pride and making nice with Knox. And I can do that if he keeps Isla’s name out of his mouth.

“I’ll try to smooth things over with him,” I promise, already dreading the conversation. “But I can’t guarantee anything.”

“Just do what you can. We don’t want this to raise to the level where Coach needs to get involved.”

Fuck. That’s the last thing I want to happen.

The mention of Coach getting involved sends a chill down my spine. That’s a complication I don’t need right now, especially with everything else happening.

“I’ll handle it,” I assure Levi. “I’ll talk to Knox and smooth things over. We’ll figure it out.”

Levi nods, satisfied with my response. “Good. The team needs you focused and on your game.”

We alternate between silence and small talk for the rest of our run, and before I know it, I run up the front stairs of my house and unlock the front door. The heat from inside is a welcome relief from the crisp morning chill. I kick off my running shoes and head upstairs, straight for the shower, because I need it.

I wrap up my shower and spend the next few hours working on some assignments I need to get done. Just as I’m about to close my laptop, my phone’s ringtone plays because of an incoming call. I glance at the screen and see that it’s my mom.

“Hey, Mom. What’s up?”

“Nothing much, just wanted to check in on you and see how things were going.”

“Things are…okay. Are you sure everything is fine?” I hate questioning her reasoning, but I can tell something is up.

“Just tired, you know, the usual. By the way, thank you for sending the money for the bills. I…really appreciate it, Ash.”

I can hear the embarrassment in her voice, so I change the subject quickly. “No problem. What are you doing today?”

“I’m running around trying to make sure your sister has everything she needs for her basketball game today.” She finishes her sentence with a yawn.

“When is her game?” An idea is forming in my head as I wait for her to respond. I stand up from my desk and stretch as I grab my bookbag.

“It starts at 2 p.m.”

“Why don’t you do what you can, and I’ll come there to pick her up and take her to her game? That way, you can stay home and rest on your day off. It can be a surprise.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. I’m telling you, this is what I’m doing.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line before Mom replies. “Oh, Asher, that would be wonderful. Are you sure you have the time?”

“Absolutely,” I assure her, already rearranging what I thought I would do today in my mind. “I don’t have any pressing commitments, and it’s been too long since I’ve seen you all. I’ll head out soon and be there in plenty of time to get Avery to her game.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. That means more than you know.” The weariness in her tone is evident, and it tugs at my heart. I know how hard she works to keep our family afloat, and this is something I can do to help her.

“Anytime, Mom. I’ll see you soon.”

After we hang up, I quickly throw a few essentials into a backpack and head out to my car. I check on a few things before I pull out of the parking spot in front of my house and start driving to Hill Haven.

The ride is quiet, and I get there in record time. As I pull up to my childhood home, Avery is already waiting on the front porch, her basketball bag at her feet. A grin appears on her face when she sees me. It takes a split second before she’s running down the steps as I exit my car.

“Asher! I didn’t know you were coming home today!” She flings her arms around me as soon as I close the car door.

I wrap my arms around her in return, lifting her off the ground before setting her back down. “Surprise. Thought I’d come to cheer you on at your game. Maybe show you a few pointers.”

Avery rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling. “Please, I could probably beat you on the court these days.”

“Oh, is that so?” I raise an eyebrow. “Guess we’ll have to put that to the test sometime. Can’t have my favorite little sister beating me.”

“Whatever. I’m your only sister.”

We both laugh, and I give her another side hug. It feels so good to trade barbs with her in person versus via text message. Our relationship is pretty solid, given everything we’ve experienced. We have our arguments here and there, but for the most part, we get along well. I’ve watched her grow from a shy little kid into a confident teenager with aspirations bigger than I could ever dream.

I look up as Mom appears in the doorway then, looking tired but happy to see me. With a grin, I jog up the steps to give her a warm hug.

“Thanks for coming, Ash,” she says softly. “I really appreciate you taking Avery to her game today to give me a bit of a break.”

“I’m happy to do it.” I pull back to look at her, noticing the dark circles under her eyes makeup can’t quite hide. “You’re working too hard, Mom. I wish you’d let me help more.”

She pats my cheek, her eyes glistening a bit. “You’re already doing so much, sweetheart. And I want you to enjoy your college years.”

Her words are a much-needed reminder of how much is riding on my ability to turn hockey into a career. I need to take care of my family someday.

We chat for a few minutes, catching up, before I check the time and realize we need to get a move on it or else we’ll be late.

“Ready to go?” I ask, and Avery nods eagerly.

“Bye, Mom!” she calls out as we head for my car. “I’ll see you after the game!”

As I pull out of the driveway, I glance at her and ask, “So how’s school going?”

Avery nods, her ponytail bobbing. “Yeah, I’m doing pretty well. Math is still kicking my butt, but I’m getting extra help from a tutor after school.”

“That’s great, Avery. Education is so important.”

“I know, I know. You sound like Mom.”

She’s not wrong. “It’s where I got it from.” I chuckle, but my tone turns serious. “Seriously though, keep at it. I know it’s not always easy, but it’ll pay off in the long run.”

“I will because I want to make you and Mom proud.”

Moments like this are where I feel she should be able to include Dad, but things didn’t work out that way. Instead, I glance at her before returning my attention to the road. “You already do, Aves. Every single day.”