12. Asher

12

ASHER

T he sigh that falls from my lips as I walk into my place is well-earned. Tonight was a hell of a night and one I will not forget anytime soon. I stroll into the kitchen after tossing my gear near the stairs. The post-game adrenaline is still flying through my veins, which is normal, especially after a hard-fought win. I wasn’t expecting to see Knox leaning against the counter, chugging a Gatorade. He nods at me as I grab a bottle of water and a can of whipped cream from the fridge.

Is it the healthiest thing I could be eating? No, but here we are.

I pop the top and squirt the whipped cream into my mouth, enjoying each and every bit of this sweetness in my mouth. After I finish up with the whipped cream, I put it back in the fridge and turn to face Knox.

“Hell of a game today, Bennett,” Knox says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. There’s some sarcasm there, dripping off every word, but I refuse to take the bait.

“Thanks,” I reply, twisting off the cap of the water bottle this time and taking a long swig. The cool water soothes my somewhat dry throat. Knox’s drink looks very appetizing, but I thought I would start with this first.

Knox smirks just before he says, “So, I saw you talking to Isla in the tunnel after the game. She’s still hot, huh?”

I nearly choke on my water but manage to swallow what’s left in my mouth. “What? Uh…yeah, I was just talking to her.”

Knox raises an eyebrow, not buying my nonchalant response. “Just talking, huh? C’mon, man. You made a beeline for her and were almost late to address the media. You’re lucky Coach didn’t hand you your ass.”

My grip tightens on my water bottle because I’m irritated that he’s right. “Back off. It’s not like that. Isla and I... we have history, alright? So just drop it.”

Knox’s smirk only grows wider. “History, eh? Now we’re getting somewhere. What, did you two used to date or something?”

He knows we in fact did date, so I know he’s full of it. To hell with not taking the bait. “I said drop it,” I snap, slamming the water bottle on the counter.

Knox’s eyes widen in surprise at my outburst. “Whoa, easy there, Bennett. What’s your problem? It’s not like she’s your girl anymore.”

I clench my jaw, feeling the muscle twitch as I glare at Knox. He knows some of what went down back then. What I wish we still had, if I’m being honest with myself.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I growl, stepping toward him.

Knox straightens up from his casual lean against the counter as his eyes narrow. “Then enlighten me,” he replies sarcastically. “Because from where I’m standing, you’re acting like a possessive asshole over a girl you claim isn’t even yours.”

My irritation turns into anger as I take another step toward Knox. I flex my fists, which are resting at my sides, but I’m ready to fight if it comes to that. “I said back the hell off. Don’t make me repeat myself because I won’t say it as nicely the next time I remind you.”

Things have been brewing between us for a while, but I can’t remember the last time Knox and I got into a fight. However, I’m not afraid to have one right now. The rational part of me knows that this doesn’t have to be and that, in reality, he’s only teasing me. But that side of me isn’t winning the war tearing through me.

Knox rolls his eyes at me. “Seriously, Bennett? You want to throw down over some chick? I thought you were better than that.”

I take another step forward, and I’m right in his face. Every blaring signal about how bad this looks sounds in my head. I know this is so out of character for me, and if this comes to blows, I might be fucking up my college career, but none of that matters. I can’t seem to talk myself down from this ledge. “She’s not just some chick. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Just as Knox opens his mouth to respond, Blaise and Wilder walk into the kitchen. I can’t see their facial expressions, but I assume they must have heard us from the living room.

“Whoa, what’s going on here?” Blaise speaks first.

“Nothing,” I reply. “Just a misunderstanding.”

Wilder raises an eyebrow. “Looks like more than a misunderstanding to me. You two are about to throw hands.”

Normally I would have chuckled at Wilder’s observation, but I’m too pissed off to show any amusement. I let out a deep breath as I take a step back from Knox. “It’s fine. We’re fine. I’m just gonna head up to my room.”

As I turn to leave, Knox calls out, “Running away from your problems, as usual?”

I stop in my tracks, my back still to him. The urge to turn around and deck him is at an all-time high. I know he’s egging me on, much like he does to our opponents on the ice. However, I’m well versed in his shit. He will not have the last word.

I look over my shoulder and say, “I can say the same thing about you, can’t I?”

Knox’s eyes narrow at me, and I’m ready for him to say something else. But someone else speaks up before he has a chance to.

“Asher, man, just let it go,” Blaise says calmly. “Whatever this is about, it’s not worth fighting over.”

“Yeah, seriously,” Wilder chimes in. “Usually, I’m game for a couple of rounds and will let you two go at it, but I’m fucking tired. The last thing I want to do is break up a fight.”

I appreciate their attempts to defuse the situation, but right now, I just need to get out of here before I do something I’ll regret. Without another word, I head for the stairs, taking them two at a time until I reach my room. I slam the door shut behind me, happy to take out my aggression on something.

I need to find something to do, and fast.

Instead, I pace around my room like a caged animal as my thoughts race even more than they did during the game. Who the hell does Knox think he is? I know his mind drifts toward hookups at this point in his life, but that’s not how I would characterize my relationship with Isla at all. His even hinting at it made me see fucking red.

My steps stop when I hear a knock on the door. Part of me wants to ignore it, but it’s useless because whoever it is knows I’m in here. I walk over and open the door to find Blaise standing in front of me.

“Can we talk?” He phrased it as a question, but I know he won’t take no for an answer.

I hesitate, but then step aside to let him in. Blaise, like me, has always been level-headed, which is probably why he came up to talk to me. He knows this isn’t usually how I handle things.

He takes a seat on my desk chair as I plop down onto the edge of my bed.

“You want to tell me what that was all about?” Blaise prompts gently.

I exhale heavily, staring at the floor. “Knox was running his mouth about Isla. Acting like she’s just some piece of ass.”

Blaise nods slowly. “Coach’s daughter? And that bothers you because...?”

“Because she’s not,” I snap, looking over at him. I don’t feel like going through this line of questioning again.

Blaise holds up his hands as if he isn’t trying to be offensive. “I’m not saying she is, man. But you’ve got to admit, your reaction was intense as fuck. What’s the deal with you two, anyway?”

I run a hand through my hair. “We used to date, okay? It started just before our freshmen year and lasted a few months into the school year. It was serious.” I almost mention how I fucked it all up, but I’m not sure if that is necessary.

Blaise’s eyebrows shoot up before his facial expression becomes neutral once again. “Shit, I had no idea. No wonder you got so pissed at Knox.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not something I like to advertise,” I mutter. “We kept things quiet because of Coach. The breakup was horrible, and I still regret it.”

Blaise leans back in the chair, studying me carefully. “Do you still have feelings for her?”

I want to deny it, but what’s the point? My reaction downstairs said it all. “I’m not sure. I don’t know her anymore. When she joined the team, it was the first time we’d spoken in three years.”

“Wow. I can’t imagine how it must feel to have her back in your life after all this time.”

I nod slowly. “It’s fucking with my head, Blaise. Seeing her again has led to all these old feelings rushing back. But I know we can’t go back to how things were before and that we are very different people than we were back then.”

“Did you love her?”

Blaise’s question makes my entire world stop turning. If you were to ask me if time has halted completely, I would say yes because that is how much of an impact his words have on me. For a moment, I can’t move, think, or process the significance of the question. The silence in the room continues as I try to find the words to say to voice my opinion.

I rub a hand across my face before I respond, “I did.” And on some level, I still do, but once again, admitting that out loud isn’t something I’m ready to do.

While Blaise and I have a good relationship, I rarely share things like this with people outside of Levi. Blaise is the kind of guy you can count on, but our conversations typically stay surface-level—hockey, school, etc. Levi, on the other hand, knows all my shit. He’s the one who’s seen me at my lowest and still stuck around.

“That’s heavy, man. I can see why you’re so torn up about this.”

I let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, well, it’s not like I have much of a choice. We’ll see each other a lot now that she’s working with the team. That’s why I was talking to her after the game.”

“Oh?”

“I wanted to talk to her to see if we could chat privately at some point. To clear the air, so to speak.”

“That makes sense.” Blaise pauses for a second before he continues. “Sounds like a good idea and a way to move forward because there’ll be no way either of you can escape one another unless the other quits. Plus, it could be an opportunity to open the door for something else.”

My gaze narrows at him. “What, like try to be friends or something?”

Blaise shrugs. “Maybe. Or just find some closure. It could remove some of the guilt that you’re obviously still carrying.”

He hit the nail on the head. “That’s an understatement.” I stand up and start pacing again, unable to sit still any longer. “There’s so much I would change regarding what I did and didn’t do. But I think there isn’t much I can do besides apologize. I tried on the fly when I saw her again for the first time in years, but it didn’t go well.”

“Yeah, that sounds rough, and I know you’re trying to make amends, but Isla also doesn’t have to forgive you. Knox was being an ass, and you know how he gets when he sees he can press someone’s buttons to get a reaction out of them.”

“I know, and he’s been more focused on me for whatever reason.”

“He needs to get laid,” he offers.

I scoff. “Maybe. Regardless, I should have been more in control, and it won’t happen again.” It’s a lie because if it involves Isla, all bets are off.

Blaise stands up from the chair. “Cool. Well, I’ll head back to my room because even with all the excitement tonight, I’m beat.”

“Thanks, Blaise. I appreciate you coming to talk.” I give him a half-smile.

“Anytime, bro. That’s what friends are for.” He claps me on the shoulder before heading for the door. “Try to get some rest, alright?”

“I will. Night, man.”

With a wave, Blaise leaves, closing the door behind him. I flop back onto my bed and stare at the ceiling. My mind is still reeling from everything, and I hate that. I know I need to apologize to Knox tomorrow. As much as he pissed me off, Blaise was right that I overreacted.

Suddenly, my phone vibrates in my pocket, and my mouth drops open when I see a text from Isla.

Isla: We could meet after the team meeting tomorrow if you’re available.

I read the message three times before I stop questioning what I read. It’s straight to the point and sounds a little harsh, but I deserve that. After everything that happened, she has every right to be distant. The important thing is she’s given me an opening, and that’s more than I could have hoped for. I think of a response, and soon, my fingers fly across the screen.

Me: That should be fine, and I’ll meet you anywhere. Thanks for reaching out.

I hit send and set my phone down on my nightstand. I don’t expect an immediate response from Isla. Playing this cool is key, even though by the end of this, I’ll be opening up a gaping wound that I thought I’d healed years ago.

Good luck to me.