Chapter 32

The days leading up to the ball were beyond painful. I tried my best to maintain my composure in public, but the reality was I was a walking zombie on autopilot, drowning in guilt. From time to time, I felt Xylan’s warm, comforting caress in my mind as if he were saying ‘I’m here for you’. He never tried to communicate with me telepathically. I think we both knew that would push me over the edge. I wouldn’t be able to control where I would end up and I couldn’t afford that. Not now.

Eliasson, to his credit, did a far better job of being diplomatic than I ever could. However, his distance didn’t go unnoticed by the other royals. He only spoke to me when required and there was no physical affection towards me. The minute we entered our quarters, he headed to his room. He never spoke to me and never looked in my direction.

I couldn’t blame him. I’d betrayed him. I’d shattered his heart and forced him to act, oblivious to the fact other Doms had been hiding secrets from him. How he was looking at Slaviya let alone managing a smile is beyond me. For all the training I’d undergone throughout the years, I knew in my bones I’d never be as brave as him.

Word spread swiftly through the Kingdom about their queen being a witch who could wield magic and fly. Apparently when the sirens began, many townsfolk had run to the foreshore. With all the fire being thrown around, civilians caught sight of Slaviya and I hovering over the middle of the ocean fighting a giant beast. The response to the news was mixed. There were many who were angered by my deceit and demanded answers, while others were simply in awe and afraid. Both weren’t great. But had I ever thought this would go down well? I hadn’t planned how I was going to break it to the Kingdom, too focused on understanding the Arloman culture, gaining their trust, and, of course, the assassination.

Perhaps the Arlomans seeing it in the flesh worked in a rip-the-band-aid-off kind of way? Maybe I was in denial but that’s what I decided to tell myself. I couldn’t handle another thing being added onto my list of worries or to the overwhelming anxiety of these last few days. It was hard enough to swallow that things hadn’t gone to plan with Sir or Eliasson. Tonight, however, had to go to plan. There was no other option.

I stared out at the ocean from the slice of beach I’d come to adore. The currents were calm today, waves lapping gently onto the shore. It was a complete contrast to the war zone that stirred in its depths a few nights ago.

I felt the presence of my sister as she landed a couple of metres away. The morning after the attack I’d gone to see how she was recovering. I’d walked in on Qynthia holding Slaviya’s hand as she lay there in bed, clearly feeling sorry for herself. Had it been anyone other than the outrageously affectionate Qynthia holding her hand, I would’ve raised an eyebrow.

We’d discussed the events of the previous night, that Eliasson knew about physical mages, and that news about my gifts would have spread to the wider Kingdom. There was a part of me hoping Slaviya would help me figure out how I should navigate this moving forward, considering it was both a Salistya and Arlom problem. After all, Salistya was the Queendom to deceive Arlom in the first place. But I shouldn’t have been surprised when she merely shook her head and snorted at me telling me, ‘That sounds like a you issue sister’, throwing my words from our fight back in my face.

I left the room before I could give in to my impulse and give her injuries far worse than the ones she was nursing. We hadn’t talked since.

I kept my eyes fixed on the ocean. ‘What do you want?’

‘I expect everything will unfold as per the plan.’ A statement, not a question.

Selfish, hateful bitch. ‘Nothing has changed.’

‘Good.’

I snapped. ‘Aren’t you going to ask how I am? If I need anything? You put me in this position, and I feel like I’m the one fucking dying,’ I shouted, unable to hold it back anymore. Tears desperately wanted to fall, I was sick and tired of crying.

She crossed her arms over her chest, her cold stare chilling me to the very bone. ‘No, Valare. You put yourself in this position.’

I barked out a laugh in disbelief. ‘I’m going to bite because I don’t know how your delusional fucking mind even came to that conclusion. How have I put myself in this position, sister?’ I couldn’t help sneering the word sister.

‘Vulnerability is a sign of weakness. If you’d heeded the words of our father, you wouldn’t be feeling like this right now. You’d be acting as a trained assassin. All head, no heart. So no, Valare. It’s not my fault you’re in this position. Maybe this will teach you how to rule as a true queen moving forward.’

‘Fuck you Slaviya,’ I said, a sob escaping. I drew up my knees and burrowed my head between them. Her words cut far deeper than those of our father.

‘I’m willing to let you see this plan through, Valare. But I warn you, if you try to be the saviour in this, I’ll make your best friend finish the job for you,’ she threatened. ‘I’m her Queen, and she’s under oath to serve the Salistyan Queendom. Choose your path wisely.’

Before I could lash out at her for threatening me with Meredith, she teleported away.

I should’ve let her die the night she was poisoned, left her body to rot away and rid this world of her. But I couldn’t. She was my sister. But more than that, I refused to pull Dwyla into this mess, which is what would happen without Slaviya around. My freedom was stripped away, and I’ll be damned if Dwyla has to follow in my footsteps.