Kai

KAI

Two Years Later

Conversation was kept at a low hum as I shuffled along carefully in the line of people as we made our way toward the exit of the plane. I was all too aware of my size as I tried not to step on the woman in front of me while minding the man behind me, who seemed less aware of his surroundings. I didn't know if it was the tight confines of an airplane or if the woman an inch away from me had soaked in her perfume before boarding, but I could feel my nerves slowly tightening.

Thankfully, it was only a few more minutes before we were released from the narrow aisle and into the slightly more open connection to the airport. The sickeningly strong smell of lilac dissipated, replaced by the more tolerable smell of cleaner. The low murmur rapidly grew into the clamor of hundreds of people going about their business.

For a moment, I was dazed by the sheer volume of noise and the light. I'd flown out of a relatively small airport, but this was Port Dale. It wasn't quite the size of somewhere like New York City, but it was still huge and had the population and the airport to prove it.

It had been months since I'd last been around so many people, let alone all the…human noise. The chaos, everyone operating independently of one another as they tried to get to their destination, was unnerving. Sure, the military wasn't anywhere near as orderly and precise as they made out, but it was a lot more than a populated civilian area.

However, this wasn't my first return from a deployment, and I would get through it. The first time had been overwhelming, even though I'd been warned. This time, I could take a deep breath and remind myself that this is what normal was, and there probably wasn't someone lurking in the crowd that posed a significant risk to me. Spending months where you had to look at every civilian as a potential threat had a way of breeding paranoia.

"Excuse me," came a voice to my side.

My muscles tensed as I turned sharply. To her credit, the small, mousey-haired woman didn't flinch but did lean back.

"Do you need something?" I asked, having to clear my throat as a reminder that I hadn't spoken to anyone in hours.

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "But you looked like maybe you did…it's kinda crazy in here, isn't it?"

"A little. Big airport."

"That's true. Just get back?"

"What?"

"From…wherever you were," she said with a laugh, pointing first at my head and then my bag. "My husband got back from deployment a couple of months ago. He says it's always crazy whenever he gets back."

I reached up to run my fingers through my shorn hair and winced. "It…can be. But this isn't my first time. You get used to it."

"I'm sure," she said, looking me over. "First time in Port Dale?"

"No," I said. "Born and raised here."

"Oh. You don't sound happy about it."

"That's just how I sound…in general."

She stared at me before her face broke into a genuine smile. "Alright, my brother-in-law is like that. You have a sense of humor?"

"On occasion."

"As dry as the desert, just like his, I see."

"I…thank you for trying to help me," I said, adjusting my bag. "But I've got to meet a friend."

"Friend, huh?" she asked, clearly curious still.

"Old friend."

"A good one?"

"Yeah."

Which wasn't the whole story. Hunter was the only friend I'd had growing up, and he was more than someone as awkward and quiet as me could hope for. Our friendship had seemed divinely ordained if you were the sort to believe.

A kid born to be bullied and beaten by peers and a kid born to fight and want someone who didn't treat him like a brute. In each other, we found what we needed, acceptance and warmth.

"A…special friend?" she asked, a smirk crossing her face.

I blinked, taken aback for a moment, before shaking my head. "No, nothing like that."

"That's a shame," she said, surprising me with how genuinely put out she sounded. It wasn't fair to this woman, who I knew nothing about, but she wouldn't have been the first married woman to see a man in uniform and try to pounce. I couldn't say anything about the guys from personal experience, though. They generally took one look at me and assumed I was straight. "Everyone deserves to have someone special in their life."

He was special, of course, but it wasn't like that . Or at least it hadn't been like that except for that one time. Even then, that had been a…well, it wasn't the norm for us. Not that it bothered me. I had thought about it for years afterward, but we weren't like that. It had been a short-lived thing for him, and he'd moved on, and for me, it was…impossible.

"Anyway," she said, tucking hair behind her ears and taking half a step back. "I can see I'm doing that pestering thing my mom always warns me about. I'm glad you made it back home, and I hope it's a good visit."

That was a loaded statement to respond to, so I just shrugged. "It'll be better when I get settled in."

"Which is my cue to leave you alone before I go from kind of annoying to holy hell, when will this strange woman shut up?" she said with a low laugh.

"I appreciate it, though," I told her quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. I did want her to leave me alone, but that didn't have to do with her being annoying; it had more to do with me just being awful at conversation. Talking, right up there with showing emotion, wasn't something I was the best at. "So, thank you."

"Of course," she said brightly, giving me a wave. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find my husband. He's probably taken advantage of me being gone and has our twins loaded up with sugar. It's good we don't have another flight for another couple of hours."

"Good luck with that," I told her, meaning it.

Freed from the conversation, I had to remember my way through the maze of the airport to baggage claim to gather the last of my stuff. Most of what I owned, which wasn't a lot, was in storage. I didn't have family I could rely on to watch my stuff, but Hunter had been good enough to keep an eye on things each time I was deployed.

It finally hit me that I would see Hunter again for the first time in over ten months. It hadn't been nearly as bad to leave him the last time. After…what had happened to him and his former boyfriend a couple of years ago, while I was deployed, I hadn't wanted to leave him to deal with it alone.

Not that he hadn't already. After everything, he'd lost several friends, though Hunter never shared why, and I didn't push. It had happened months before I could get back to the States, and I was only back half a year before being dragged away again. Except now, my contract was over, and while that left me with a lot of uncertainty and questions about what I was going to do with my future, it also meant I could be here for my friend.

I pushed the thought away quickly, feeling guilt and shame nipping at its heels. I was not only gone but uncontactable when he'd…well, when he'd lost Lucas…among other things. I hadn't been there when he'd been dealing with the aftermath, losing his friends, the case against the men who'd attacked him and Lucas falling through for some reason. Hunter's entire life had come crashing down around him into jagged pieces that cut him thousands of times, even as he had to bury the man he loved and figure out how to get something back.

He swore up and down he was finding peace again, and that the six months I had been with him had helped a lot. But now it was two years after he'd been violated in ways he'd never detailed to me. Maybe that was enough time for him to heal, and I could do more than call or write emails when I could.

I had to remind myself that I was supposed to be pushing those thoughts away, and I quickly did so as my bag showed up on the belt. With a grunt, I snatched it and headed for the front, where I could find a ride into the city where Hunter was. I could have found an apartment, I had plenty of money squirreled away, and finding a job wouldn't be too hard, but…staying with Hunter for a while had been at my insistence, though to Hunter's credit, he hadn't fought too hard.

I knew he'd avoided living with anyone after Lucas's murder. He swore it was because he didn't see the point. His savings had been enough to get him through the first few months without help, and after that, he was working again and could handle it. There was no need to bring someone else into his house, and he definitely wasn't going to start dating again. The thing was, I knew fear when I saw it, and I thought it had less to do with not needing anyone around but that he didn't trust anyone else to be with him.

That was, except for me.

With my bag in tow, I got my phone to cooperate long enough to find a ride on the app. My phone, thankfully, hadn't changed that much. The thing was a little old, though, and I probably need to replace it. Thankfully, it could still find me an Uber, which was all I needed for now.

The trick, however, was finding where to get picked up. I stood in the pick-up area, looking for my Uber since the app insisted it was waiting for me, but I couldn't see anything. After five minutes, I finally dialed the number attached to my booking.

"Hello," I said, glancing around for something identifiable. "I'm in the pick-up area, and the app is saying you're here, but I don't?—"

"Which pick-up area?" a curt voice interrupted.

"Seems to be," I glanced up. "C? Close to C?"

The phone beeped in my ear, and I stared at it in confusion as I saw the call had ended. I had a moment to wonder how we could have been disconnected when the Uber app popped up a notification to inform me the driver had canceled. Bewildered and annoyed, I quickly tried to find another one. Thankfully, another guy was close, and after a moment, the app alerted me he was already waiting.

This time, though, I didn't wait around and called the guy, explaining what I'd tried to explain to the last one. Thankfully, this guy didn't hang up and only laughed. "Not from around here, are you?"

"No, I am. I've just been gone for almost a year. Did I miss something?"

"Mhmm, airport made changes. Got tired of all the ride shares clogging up the pick-up area, so now ride shares have to use a designated area."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, you said C, right?"

"Near it."

"Alright, go back inside and take the escalator to your left. Pretty crowded in there, but they put up a big sign a couple of months ago. You should be able to see it. That's where you need to go."

"I take it the sign is self-explanatory?"

"Bingo."

"Okay, thanks, I'll see you in a few."

"No problem."

Following his instructions, I returned to the airport and up the escalator. Sure enough, a large sign indicated the ride-share app pick-up area was further down. It took me a few minutes to get through the crowd and out the indicated doors, but I found it, and after that, it was just a matter of finding the car. When I did, a guy with shaggy blond hair was waiting for me as I approached.

"Hey, Malakai?" he asked as I approached, locking eyes with him.

"Just is fine," I told him, not missing how his eyes did a few passes over me.

"Well, alright, hi , the app has my name on it, but I'm Erik," he said.

"I appreciate you taking the time to get me," I told him, and then briefly explained what happened as he got into the driver's seat and I managed to get into the back.

"Ahhh," he said as he waited until I was settled before pulling out. "That explains it. Yeah, some people around here want to make as much bang for their buck as possible. So that means not waiting around for someone if they're in the wrong area."

"Oh. Well, fuck him," I muttered, trying to make myself comfortable. It wasn't easy, I was a pretty big guy, and Erik's backseat didn't offer much space. Still, he'd gone out of his way to help me, so I was already mentally tabulating how much to tip him.

Erik snorted. "Yeah, some are dicks. Good ol' Port Dale charm."

"Well, at least part of its charm is that there are people like you around still," I said with a shrug. "So the city's not completely hopeless."

"Aww, that's sweet of you."

"Not really, just the truth."

"Ah, well, that's rare."

"What?"

"Someone who tells the truth but doesn't use it as an excuse to be an asshole."

"Oh. I can do that too."

"We'll just call that flexibility and versatility."

"Uh…sure."

That seemed to stop the conversation, which was fine by me. I wasn't good at long conversations with people I didn't know, and I could feel myself getting tired. It was a mix of dealing with people for too long, constant traveling, and anticipating what I would find when I finally arrived. Phone calls and the occasional video chat with Hunter didn't give the full picture of what I was coming back to.

Hunter had always been good at hiding his pain. Most emotions were painted on his face in neon colors for even someone as dense as me to spot, but not when he was hurting. I also knew he had a bad habit of hiding things if he didn't want to ‘bother' me with his problems. Which I knew he had to be doing, but surely he had to know that even after two years, I realized he was still in pain.

I had seen and done plenty of things in the military. You didn't frequently go on missions with special units without getting your hands dirty. There were things I'd seen that would haunt my dreams for years and things I'd done that would leave me wondering about my morality for the rest of my life. Yet there were horrors beyond my understanding; what had happened to Hunter and Lucas was one of those things.

How do you come back from that, even with time, to possibly heal the wound?

"So," Erik piped up in the front seat, eyes flicking up to meet mine through the rearview mirror. "You said you'd been gone for a year. I'm guessing from the look of you and the bag…military?"

"Yeah."

"But you're not going to the fort?"

"No, I'm out now…for good."

"Oh yeah? Looking to celebrate?"

"I guess."

"I can't tell if you're happy about being out."

"I…am."

To call my feelings complicated would be massively underselling it. I had joined the military for a sense of purpose and guidance, to find a place that might give me a chance to do something meaningful and have a little structure. It had done all that and more despite the constant chaos that came with being on deployment. I had been a damn good soldier, a capable operative, and a solid leader. There had been so many different moments in the past ten years that I could look at and take pride in myself and a sense of accomplishment even when those successes were covered in blood.

Nothing in life lasted, though, even when you knew that reality could sneak up and surprise you. I wasn't sure when it had started, but the past few years had been colored by the realization that I wasn't getting the same pleasure or sense of accomplishment from what I did anymore. The days and nights grew longer, the training grew tiresome, and the missions became hollow and meaningless beyond following orders.

I had already seen what happened to men and women who went too long without realizing what was happening. Like the work, they became hollow and devoid of anything colorful or meaningful. Bitterness settled in and grew, and the next thing they knew, they were going through the motions. Life was no longer their own, and they just let it happen.

Maybe I'd have been there myself if it wasn't for the horrific tragedy that came crashing down on Hunter. As I stood in a sand-blasted tent listening to Hunter choke out what happened, my gear soaked with sweat, tired and aching from the last mission, I realized there was no way I could continue. What had once brought me meaning and pride had become what kept me from living my life as a normal person.

But those were thoughts I couldn't share with some random Uber driver who kept trying to eye fuck me through the rearview mirror.

"Got a girlfriend waiting for you?" he asked after a long pause. "Or boyfriend, for that matter."

"No, don't really date," I said, looking out the window and watching the buildings grow taller as we approached downtown. "Too much trouble."

"And now that you're back?"

"I don't know, maybe one day. Not now or anytime soon, though."

"Ah, shame. Guy like you could probably snatch someone up really quick."

"Not interested."

"Still, a shame."

Admittedly, I had tried dating, but it didn't go well. Most people weren't prepared to date someone who could disappear for months without contact. I'd only really tried it once, in my early years in the military, and once was all it took to learn my lesson and not repeat the mistake. I had no idea where Lena was now, but she probably still hated my guts after the disaster that was our almost marriage.

After her, I'd stuck to no strings attached or short-term arrangements and kept it as discreet as possible. Even my squad joked that I never seemed to get laid despite several offers. Most of them didn't know I took up some of those offers, but only from people I was sure could keep their mouths shut. The short-term arrangements were generally with women, and the one-night stands were usually men. Relationships with women were ‘easy' compared to being with a man. In fact, I'd never been tempted by the idea of a relationship with another guy.

With one exception.

"Oh, hey," Erik said brightly as he pulled up to the curb. "I know this place!"

I looked out the window and snorted, not realizing Hunter had changed the sign for his cat café. Before, it had been pretty simple, with a bit of style to the lettering in big letters that read ‘A Purrfect Brew.' Now, the sign was light purple as it dangled from golden chains. The name was not quite cursive, and a coffee cup was painted under it. And instead of coffee, there was a brown tabby cat curled up in the cup, its tail coming down to loop over the side of the cup like a handle.

"Do you?" I asked as I grabbed my bag.

"Yeah, came here a few times before, on a date once," he said brightly. "The guys who own it…or well, the guy who owns it, is pretty cool. Something happened a few years back, and one bit the dust."

"Bit…the dust?" I asked, turning to stare at the back of his head.

"Yeah, died, got murdered or something, I don't know. This whole thing happened afterward, and the guy who didn't die went off the deep end for a bit. Guess I can't blame him when the guy you're dating gets offed. It's probably…uh, you okay?"

"I think it's probably best if you stopped talking," I told him softly to cover up the boiling rage growing inside me. I hadn't lost control of my temper in years, but I could feel it struggling to break out of my iron grip. I didn't want to start my first day back in Port Dale by getting pissed off enough to assault a well-meaning, if somewhat dense, Uber driver over a thoughtless comment. "Thank you for the ride."

"Sure," he said, his eyes wide and slowly blinking as I got out of the car. "And uh, sorry if I?—"

"Just…don't," I said, closing the door and pulling out my phone. As much as the anger inside me wanted to pay the fare and add nothing else, he had been helpful…and there probably wasn't a person in the world who could claim they'd never said anything thoughtless or stupid before. "Hope you have good luck with the rest of your rides."

I don't know if he chose to be quiet because he realized he'd said something stupid or was worried about his tip. It didn't matter either way because now I didn't have to worry about talking to him. I threw on a hefty tip to thank him for his kindness but also to make myself feel a little better for scaring the shit out of him.

Other than the sign, not much had changed about the café. Hunter had mentioned making some changes, and the first change I saw when I stepped through the outer doors was a breezeway of sorts, probably to contain any cats that managed to get through the inner doors. The inside looked more or less the same now I was peering up close, though some of the furniture was different, making me chuckle. I'd told Hunter that having a place swarming with cats with leather furniture was begging for property destruction.

The wall was lined with tables where people could peacefully sit and drink their coffee. There was the nook toward the front where people could sit on couches or on the floor with cat toys. Of course, there were more cats than when I'd last seen it, and I'd barely stepped through the inner doors before a pair of cats tripped me up, one white with a little black on its head and the other black with a little bit of white on its side.

"Hazard, Caution," a voice chided, and a woman in the light blue apron that was part of the uniform hurried over to scoop the cats up. "Sorry, they're…well, appropriately named."

"I'd say so," I said with a chuckle. I looked at her name tag and let out a small chuckle. "Thanks for the rescue, Arwen. I take it your parents are Tolkien fans."

"That's putting it mildly," she said, grinning as if pleased I understood the reference. "And you must be ."

"Uh, must I be?" I asked in surprise. None of the staff were people I'd seen the last time I'd been here.

She snorted. "Hunter hasn't stopped mentioning you coming back to Port Dale for ohhhh…the last couple of months?"

A man behind the counter, clearly able to hear us, scoffed. "And it's been every day for the past week."

"Every hour," Arwen said with a wink. "You don't see him excited about much these days."

"Ar," the man said in a low voice.

"Well, you don't," she said, putting the two cats down. They had lost interest in me or were distracted by the teenage boys sitting on the nook floor to play with the cats. "And it's nice."

"Uh, where is he?" I asked, looking around if only to escape the awkward-as-hell conversation. Arwen had that gleam in her eye that almost always came right before someone started asking questions I didn't want to answer. And if she really had noticed a change in Hunter's mood because of my arrival, she probably had awkward ones saved up for me.

"Hey, Hunter?" the man said into the tiny microphone clipped to his collar. He turned enough for me to see his name was Rich. "Got something going on up front that you might wanna deal with…no," he snorted, "it's not Abigail again, you're safe."

"Abigail?" I wondered.

Arwen rolled her eyes. "Abigail is some woman who lives nearby. She really likes Hunter. Like really ."

"Uh, she does know that she…well," I said, wrinkling my nose. I knew Hunter wasn't exactly secretive about being gay, but I didn't want to go running around, spreading his business.

"Everyone who comes around here long enough knows the man is gayer than a maypole during Pride Month," Rich said with a shake of his head. "But she apparently seems to think she can somehow change that."

"Uh…right," I said because what else could I say? That sexuality didn't work like that? I was pretty sure these two already knew that without needing a reminder.

"She likes to come in here and talk about what a shame it is that ‘all the good ones' are gay," Rich said, the annoyance in his voice telling me more than enough about how he felt about that belief.

"Which, ignoring that it's insulting to every good-looking, decent man on the planet," Arwen began in annoyance. "But insulting to Hunter, who has to listen to her act like being gay is what makes him attractive when, in reality, he's just adorable despite being gay."

"God save us all," Rich muttered, shaking his head. "Don't call him adorable, it's weird."

"What? I'm going to call it what it is," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

Not even the most horrific, agonizing torture constructed by the worst of humanity could have made me admit I agreed with her. I had never told anyone anything that might hint that I was remotely attracted to Hunter and had been since the beginning of our friendship. It had been pretty easy to hide from the world and even from the man who could read me better than anyone. He wasn't looking for proof, so the secret was simple to keep.

The door behind the bar opened, and Hunter came out. He had changed his hair since I'd last seen him, and now it was short on the sides and the back but longer on top. It was slightly messy as it fell over the green eyes that swept the room, looking for the problem. The moment his eyes fell on me, he dropped the box under his arm, and the serious expression on his face disappeared.

I could only stare, surprised at what I saw. I realized he'd only talked on video with the phone aimed at his face, which hadn't changed. And while he still came up to my chin, the lithe, just shy of thin man I'd known my whole life was gone. I knew he'd been working out before my latest deployment, but this was something else. I had no idea how he'd put on enough muscle to look almost fifty pounds heavier in a year, but he'd done just that.

"!" he said in a low voice, eyes glittering with excitement. He hurried over to the divider and lifted it to get to me. I smiled as he approached quickly, feeling a pang twist inside my chest. A couple of years ago, the dork would have probably tried to climb over the counter and launch himself at me while laughing like a crazy person. This was…still happy, but I could see a subduedness that had never been there before.

That didn't stop me from dropping my stuff and pulling him in for a tight hug. I wasn't surprised to find a great deal of tension in his body. Holding him was strange now that he was so much bigger, but I still squeezed him tightly. I felt him tense again and quickly eased my grip. For those few months I'd been there for him, a year after the tragedy, he had been extremely touchy about being held. Considering what he'd gone through, I didn't blame him.

"Sorry," he said when he realized what I'd done, but I only shook my head as he stepped back. There was no need for him to apologize; just being able to hug him again and see him in person was more than enough. "God, did you get bigger?"

"You've got no room to talk," I said, looking him over. "Just tell me it isn't steroids."

He blinked and then let out a laugh. "No, you giant dork. I'm not on steroids."

"Just the strictest diet and exercise regimen you've ever seen," Arwen said with a mystified look. "Honestly, I don't know how he does it. Just the thought of it makes me want to take a nap."

"Doing your job does that," Hunter told her. "So don't push yourself."

"Oh, ha ha," she said dryly. "Speaking of, I'm going to go do my job. Why don't you go slack off from yours like I know you're doing now that big, strong, and sexy is here."

"What?" I asked, eyes going wide.

"I'm pretty sure she was referring to you," he said, patting me on the elbow.

I glared at him because he knew damn well I knew she meant me, but that didn't mean I was ready for someone to say something like that. Sure, I was honest enough with myself to realize I was a decently attractive man, and I could pull people into my bed when I needed to, but sexy? That was just weird.

"But she's also right," Hunter said, tugging my elbow. "Bring your stuff. You can stick with me while I'm finishing up for the day."

"Sure," I said, grabbing my bag. We managed to get behind the bar before a large orange cat hopped onto the spot next to the door leading toward the back. He managed to hang over the edge of the counter and hook his paws into my sleeve, giving me a lazy blink and a soft noise. "Oh, hey there, Clem."

Behind me, Hunter chuckled. "Oh good, you remember him."

"Of course I do," I said, pressing my forehead against his. He had still been going through the awkward teenage phase cats go through when I'd last seen him. Like all the cats here, Clem was a rescue. Pretty much all of them came from actual rescue organizations, with the café taking them on to give them a new space, interactions with people, and a unique opportunity to be adopted by the people who came in. "I remember finding this one. I'm surprised he's still here."

"What do you mean? You're the one who found him," Hunter said, smiling as he scooped the cat up in his arms and motioned for me to continue. "I'm not giving him up unless you give the okay."

"You didn't have to hold onto the cat."

"Sure I did. You know our rule. Every cat gets a Checker, and you're his."

A ‘Checker' was Hunter's formal title for the staff member who checked out the people wanting to adopt. Generally, the staff member most attached to it and had the best idea of what was good for the cat. Apparently, because I was the one who'd found Clem when he was a kitten, soaked to the bone and shivering under a dumpster, I was his Checker.

When Hunter reached his still cluttered office, I dropped my stuff out of the way, and he put Clem down on the desk. The cat immediately turned and began the loudest purr I'd ever heard as he strolled toward me and pawed at my arm. Shaking my head, I bent to scoop the cat up, which made Clem immediately curl his feet under himself so he could rest peacefully in my arms.

"Still as cuddly as the day I left, I see," I told him, and whether he could understand me, he looked up at me with half-slit eyes that screamed contentment.

"Are you kidding?" Hunter began with a laugh, reaching up to stroke the top of Clem's head. "He's one of the most antisocial cats here."

"What?" I asked in surprise.

"Seriously. He lets people get close and sometimes pet him, but he does not like anyone picking him up. Even Brooke."

"Oh, Brooke still works here?"

"Keeps saying she'll work for me no matter what's going on or what business I'm running. Refused to leave even when I had to…to lay everyone off for a while," he said, the brightness in his expression dimming. I didn't need him to say why he had needed to lay anyone off or close the café down while he tried to make sense of the new horrors he had come to understand. After a moment, he shook his head, and the dimness disappeared. "Anyway, I called her after I opened the place back up and she came running back."

"Are you being rude?" I asked Clem, who slow blinked in response, and I took that as a yes.

"Not rude, just antisocial," Hunter said with a chuckle. "Only lets me pick him up, and then not for very long. Then you show up, and he's pleased as punch just to be snuggled again."

"I guess he remembers me."

"Gee, I wonder why an animal might remember the guy who saved him from starving or freezing, then spent days caring for him day and night. How much did you spend on medicine and special food again?"

"I…don't know."

"Liar. It was more than three digits, I remember that."

"Well?"

Hunter smiled, sitting on the corner of the desk, staring at the two of us. "So yeah, that's the other reason I couldn't bring myself to let anyone adopt him. And now that I'm looking at the two of you, I'm glad I did."

"You were supposed to be a good boy, so someone would want to scoop you up and take you home," I told Clem, who by now had closed his eyes and continued to purr loudly in my arms.

"Cats are funny. Kind of like people. Sometimes they love anyone kind to them, and others find that one person they latch onto and never want to let go," he said with a strange expression.

"Thinking about specific people right now?" I asked softly because I could see the pain coming back into his face. He and Lucas had been incredibly close, and before…well, before his death, Lucas had been talking about getting married. Even though it had pained me to see how happy they were together, I had never wanted anything but for Hunter to be happy with someone who could be there for him and treat him right.

That had never been in question with Lucas, and he was the only guy Hunter had dated that I hadn't disliked even though my jealousy wanted me to. But my jealousy had to suck it up and be quiet. It was my choice to keep silent about my feelings. Our lives growing up had been too chaotic, and my own heart too messy to risk trying to be with Hunter. Then, once I'd enlisted, it was obvious my life wouldn't be compatible with Hunter's, and it was better to let him find his own way. That was still true, though I couldn't imagine he would ever want to date again.

"No," he said after a moment. Then, he looked up and saw the disbelief on my face. He gave me a sad, small smile. "Stop."

"Should I stop?"

"I…for now, okay? I just want to be happy you're here, and I'm seeing you."

"Alright," I said reluctantly. "I just know you haven't really…talked about it."

He looked at the ground. "There's still a lot in my head about it. But it's been two years, and I've been seeing a therapist. I've been working out, taking self-defense classes, and trying to keep my life together. It used to be impossible to keep smiling or find anything worth smiling about, and even nowadays, I still have to fight like hell to feel halfway decent. But today? Today, I'm genuinely happy without having to fight myself to stay that way, so let's stick to that for a while, alright? I know it'll pass eventually, but I want to ride this high."

It was a more than reasonable request, and I could only nod. "Okay, I don't want to ruin anything for you. Speaking of?—"

Hunter groaned. "Please tell me you aren't about to say you don't want to impose on or bother me by staying with me."

"Well, I don't," I said with a shrug.

Hunter shook his head. "As ridiculous as always. Trust me, it'll be nice to have company. Some days, I regret sticking so hard to living alone. Then I think about having someone move in and realize I can suffer through the loneliness. But having you around, seeing you all the time? That'll be…just about perfect."

"Okay," I said with a smile. You never did say where you're staying nowadays since I know you moved."

"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "Wasn't easy staying in the old apartment. It was too full of…you know?"

Of memories, I suspected, and nodded. "So?"

"Oh!" he said with a chuckle, pointing above our heads. "I decided to rent the whole building. So nowadays, I'm staying upstairs."

"I…wasn't the second-floor office space?"

"Was. But I had it converted into a living space. Had to be careful, though, couldn't make too many changes. The owners didn't want me to make it too hard to change back if I ever left. But hell, you'd never know it used to be an office."

"You live above your workplace."

He laughed. "Seriously? Even with…everything, I still love this place. And it was rough at first staying here all the time, at least financially, but then it picked up once we started getting better business."

"Oh? I remember you saying business had gotten better, but we didn't have time to go over how."

"Believe it or not, Rich is, like, the master of drinks. Once he got involved behind the counter, drink quality and variety increased. He even figured out how to make better pastries and sandwiches. Tricky with animals around, but we figured it out."

"Oh, I would have never guessed."

"You think that's bad? I wasn't kidding when I made that joke about Arwen. She really is lazy as can be, and part of my job is trying to find where she's holed up to nap or play on her phone."

"Okay, but you keep her around for a reason."

"Absolute genius with social media. I used to wonder how I'd manage the social media side of things after I reopened. I never had a feel for that sort of thing, and I left it up to Lucas. Turns out she's even better, and between her and Rich, I can keep my head above the surface long enough to manage a business."

I hadn't wanted to say during our phone calls, but his constant reassurance about the business had been unnerving. I knew he was capable of running a business, and he was definitely prepared, not only because of his degree but because of the experience he'd gained managing two businesses through college. Hell, he still attributed trying to open up the business in the first place to my encouragement rather than to anything Lucas had said or done. I'd believed in the man even when he looked at all his knowledge and experience and thought it wouldn't be enough.

Now, at least, I could see my fear was unnecessary. He was obviously still dealing with the emotional fallout, but he hadn't let that get in the way of business. In fact, between his physical health, the state of the business, and how well he'd navigated talking about his problems to put them off for a while, I had to wonder how much he needed me around. Clearly, my worries and concerns, while probably still valid, weren't as necessary as I'd thought.

Despite all the terrible shit he'd been through, Hunter had a good hold on things. Even with his ability to hide things and make them seem less dire than they were, it seemed like he had things under control. I would have to wait and see if the exterior he was showing me would crack, but for now, I could give him his wish of going through the motions of happiness for a bit longer.

"Alright, well, you're going to have to give me the tour to show me what's what now I've gone and missed it all," I told him.

He grinned. "Sure, you can even bring Clem, he can help."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure he'll be a big help."