19. Clara

CHAPTER 19

CLARA

It’s supposed to rain tonight. You come to me. - HB

Confession: I had a recliner in my walk-in closet, and I hid out in there whenever the weather got bad, like right now. I was mostly okay as long as I had a book to distract myself with. I startled easily and each clap of thunder had me jolting in fear, but as long as I stayed in here, surrounded by four walls and zero windows, I’d live through it.

Thunder crashed in the distance and I snuggled further beneath the quilt I’d buried myself under. The lights went out, leaving my Kindle and flameless candles as my only illumination.

Crash after crash had my heart racing until my book was no longer enough to prevent me from freaking out. I set it aside and covered my face with the blanket. I could be brave. It was just a little bit of rain.

Think of something else. Anything else. Think of Nick.

The school year was flying by. August to November had poofed away in a blink of an eye, and it was already almost Thanksgiving. I was coming to realize that nothing in the past truly mattered, because all of it had led me to right here. I was falling for Nick even harder than I’d fallen for him the first time.

Seeing him be such a wonderful dad to his children was healing wounds I never even knew I’d had. I’d forgotten what it had been like with my father around. He’d been the buffer between us and our mother, and it had broken me and my sisters when he left.

Years of therapy had tried to tell me that I could heal my own heart and that not every man would turn out like my father and leave me behind. But my experiences throughout the years had told me otherwise, and deep down, I hadn’t believed it was possible to find happiness—until now.

Being with Nick this time around was something new.

He was steadily blowing every issue I had out of the water one by one, and I trusted him more as each day went by.

Sasha and Ethan were the luckiest kids in the entire world.

Could I be that lucky too?

Loud banging on the French doors of my balcony almost sent my jumpy ass flying to the ceiling and I lost my grip on any bravado I’d been clinging to.

What the hell?

Would a serial killer knock?

What about that big-ass bug? Was it back for revenge?

“Clara! Open up. I tried ringing your bell and texting you. It’s Nick!”

It seems like maybe I could be that lucky. Holy crap.

Tossing my blanket to the side, I made it to the door and threw it open. “You’re all wet. What are you doing up here?”

“I knew you’d be scared. Were you in the closet?” His lips turned up in a grin. But not the making-fun-of-me kind; this grin was the Clara-is-cute kind. The type of grin that would lead to something if I wasn’t having a thunderstorm-induced, on-the-verge-of-a-panic-attack episode.

“Pfft. No,” I scoffed, letting out a relieved sigh when the lights came back on.

He looked past me, his eyebrows raised when he spotted my recliner and blankets in the closet. “Hmm, right, okay. So we’re pretending that adorable little closet hidey-hole doesn’t exist?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s perfectly normal to keep a chair in the closet. I sit there when I put on my shoes.”

“Of course, how silly of me. I’ll have to get a chair for my closet. The edge of the bed is such a poor choice when it comes to putting on shoes,” he teased. He stepped closer and began to rub his hands up and down my arms. “So, I dropped the kids off at Morgan’s and I thought you might be nervous over here all alone. I decided to stop by and check on you.”

“So you climbed up to my balcony in the pouring rain just to check on me?” That was the takeaway. Everything else he’d said flew by the wayside, even the teasing. My heart—and my lady bits—swooned.

He shrugged at this like it was no big deal. “Well, yeah.”

“Gotcha.” This man had no idea. I looked up at him from hooded eyelids and purred, “Take your clothes off and get in my bed. We’re having sex right now.”

He laughed, but it didn’t stop him from throwing his jacket across the room and yanking his shirt over his head. “I have zero problems with that. We can head to my place after for dinner if you want. I was going to suggest it before, but you’ve got me all worked up now and I’m not hungry anymore.”

I pressed myself against his body and wrapped my arms around his neck. “No need. We can stay here. I have leftover spaghetti so dinner is covered. Everett made it, not me,” I clarified. “You’ll love it.”

His hand slipped between my legs, curving around as he pulled me close. “You know what I love to eat more?”

I inhaled a sharp breath. “Oh god. Some things never change, do they?”

He shook his head and slipped his other hand under the front of my silk nightgown to enter me with a finger. “Once I got a taste of you again . . .”

“Far be it for me to stop you from taking your fill.”

He drew his hand out, sucking his finger into his mouth with a dirty grin. “I’ll never let you get away. You know that don’t you? You have me addicted all over again.”

All I could do was nod as he grabbed my hips, digging his fingers into my ass as he walked me toward my bed.

Thunder crashed and I jumped out of his arms with a squeal. “Oh my god!”

He paused, searching my face. “Maybe now isn’t the time for this.”

“No, no, no. Let’s get that straight right now. It’s always the time to go down on me.”

Another jolt of thunder struck with a huge boom—this time it was closer—and I hurled myself back into his arms and bumped my forehead against his chin.

“It’s okay, I got you, baby, shh.”

“I’m so sorry!” I pulled away to kiss his chin, then pepper little kisses to his cheeks and lips. “Did I hurt you? On second thought, maybe you have a point about now not being the time. I don’t want to injure this gorgeous face any further, especially with my vagina. I’d feel so guilty if I broke your jaw or banged you up.” I looked at him with wide eyes. “Seriously, what would you tell the kids?”

“New plan,” he declared with a grin. “It’s blanket-fort and living-room-picnic time. Let’s go downstairs, throw on a movie, and heat up that spaghetti.”

“Like a grown-up slumber party?”

“Sure,” he answered, the laughter in his tone making me smile. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

“How fun! My god, I love you,” I blurted. My cheeks heated. I was on fire, and I figured it likely I’d spontaneously combust and drop dead.

If I was honest with myself, I’d admit it was the truth. But letting it out unplanned like I had was not only mortifying but made me acutely aware that I’d said it first—again. I’d said it first when we were together back in high school, too. “Oh my god. I⁠—”

“Clara, I love you too.” His voice was low, a sexy velvet murmur. I watched, mesmerized, as his eyes darkened with emotion.

“Just like that?” I breathed.

“Just like that,” he confirmed, as if it hadn’t taken fifteen-ish years and us moving mountains of hurt to the side to get here.

“Okay,” I whispered. “So we’re in love again.”

He placed his palm in the center of my chest and mine on his. “The love has always been right here, Clara. It just took a minute for us to grow up and make it ours again.”

“It makes so much sense when you say it like that. We didn’t know what we had. How could we? But now we know.”

“Now we know, and we’ll never let it get away again. Damn, Clara. Sasha and Ethan are going to love you so much. I can’t wait to tell them.”

My heart felt full to bursting. “I’ll love them too, like they were my own children. I swear I will.”

“I know you will, baby. Let’s plan a dinner next week to tell them about us.”

“How about next weekend, after the Fall Festival?”

“That sounds perfect to me. It’s Morgan’s weekend. You and I can have dinner together after the festival and discuss how much to tell them about us. But I already know they’re going to love this. They talk about you all the time.”

“My heart is about to crack wide open. I don’t know if I can take this.”

He stepped close and wrapped me in his arms. I could feel his heart thudding against mine and all of a sudden, I didn’t care about the storm outside; all I could think about was him.

Thunder struck in the distance, hard enough to knock the power out again, and I flinched. Okay, so maybe I cared a little bit, but that didn’t mean I didn’t need to immediately show him with my body exactly how I felt about him.

The power flickered back on, and I let out a relieved sigh. “So, thunderstorms are still a no for me⁠—”

“Obviously.” His eyebrows raised as his eyes lit up with laughter.

“You’ll have to be on top.”

His eyebrows shot to his hairline as he stifled a laugh. “I see. We’re doing this. You sure?”

My anxiety about the storm combined with the emotional overload of the moment had me rambling. “No oral.” I shook my head. “There are just too many ways I could hurt you. Flinching and jumping are a legit concern. And the weather is being way too unpredictable tonight.”

“Your reasoning is sound.” He nodded once as his eyes twinkled into mine. “Neither one of us needs an unexplainable injury.”

“We need a game plan. This is your area of expertise, isn’t it, Coach Easton?”

“It is, normally.” His voice dropped low. “But the thought of being inside you again has taken over my entire brain and I can’t think right now.”

My breath caught in my throat. “Oh really?”

He nudged me backward until I had no choice but to fall on my bed. “Yes really.” He put a knee to the bed and slipped a hand beneath my neck. I gasped as he gently pressed his thumb to the base of my throat. “Don’t move.” His growly whisper disappeared into my mouth as he kissed me hard. “If you’re good, I’ll let you ride me on that recliner in the closet. You won’t be thinking about the weather if I keep you occupied.”

“’Kay . . .” I held as still as possible as he stood, dragging his hand down the center of my body from my neck to the hem of my nightgown. He was already shirtless and the sight of his rippling abs, that broad wall of a chest, and his wide shoulders standing above me like that almost blew my mind.

“Your choice of pajamas is appreciated by the way,” he murmured. Pale pink silk slid up my legs, tickling my skin along with the tips of his fingers. “You’re gorgeous.”

Thunder crashed in the distance and my back arched off the bed. “Oh god . . .”

“Shh, I got you. No more playing around, come on.” He pulled me to my feet and guided me to the closet, walking us backward until he dropped into my recliner and pulled me to straddle his lap, my knees to the seat. “Shit, do you have any condoms?” He squeezed my ass in his big palms and took a nip at my neck. I shivered and lost my train of thought.

“Huh?”

“Condoms, baby. Got some?”

“Yes, I do.” I scurried to my feet. “Take your pants off, I’ll be right back.”

I came back, strip of condoms in hand, to find him naked, manspreading in my chair like he owned the damn thing. My jaw dropped a little bit as I tried to decide where to begin. I mean, he’d found a towel to sit on; if I hadn’t loved him before, I sure as heck did now. It was my favorite chair.

But forget about the freaking chair.

I hadn’t had a chance yet to get a good, naked look at him. And damn.

Damn.

Most of our time together in the past—heck, the present, too—had been hurried, furtive, frantic . . .

Sneaking around lately had been heady, tortuous fun, but it hadn’t given me the chance to fully appreciate all that was Nicholas Andrew Easton. And damn, he was fine.

His skin was a deep golden tan, probably from playing shirtless football outside with his friends so often.

His chest was broad, tapering down to a set of six-pack abs that had me biting my lip and itching to get my hands on him. I knew from all the touching and snuggling we’d done, our pool time, and observing how his Green Valley High polo fit him every Friday he was toned and strong, but seeing him on full display right here for my eyes only was an entirely different experience.

“You’re a beautiful man,” I stated.

“Thank you. You’re more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen.”

“Nick . . . ,” I breathed.

“Get over here, baby.” He fisted his hard cock, holding it steady as his eyes burned into mine. “Don’t make me wait anymore. I feel like I’ve spent my life waiting for you, wanting you, missing you. I need you now, Clara.”

Warmth surged through me and pooled between my legs as I tossed him the strip of condoms and slid out of my nightgown.

“Do we need these?” He waved the condoms in the air. “I get a physical every year, so no worries there. I’m okay with it if you are.”

“Same. I’m good, and I’m on the pill.” I slipped out of my panties, kicking them off as I strode toward him. Bending at the waist, I trailed my hands up and over the smattering of dark hair covering his chest, resting them on his shoulders as I put one knee on the chair, then the other.

My legs were already shaking. I was empty and aching and desperate for him.

The heat in his gaze burned bright as I lowered myself, sinking down inch by inch until I was stretched full of him.

His jaw clenched tight as he sank his teeth into his lower lip to stifle a groan.

With heavy-lidded eyes, he watched me move over him like I might disappear, like I was part of a dream he was deep in the middle of, like he couldn’t get enough. Maybe he was as afraid of losing me as I was of losing him.

His hands slid from my hips to rest on my ribs with his thumbs idly stroking my nipples. He was lazy and languid as he let me take control and I loved it. “Kiss me, baby.”

I hissed out a breath and did as he asked, riding him slow and taking him deep as his tongue swept against mine, swirling in a slow circle before he sucked my lower lip into his mouth with a growly moan.

He was beautiful like this, with his neck arched back and that sharp jawline on full display.

“Faster, Clara. Go harder, make us both come.” He bucked his hips for emphasis, making me squeal in delight as he surged up into me. One hand trailed down to find my clit while the other pinched and pulled at my nipple. “You feel so good. Don’t stop. My god, baby, please don’t stop.”

I panted as I dropped forward to kiss his mouth. “Hold on.” The smoldering flame in his eyes lit me on fire too, blazing a path that led straight between my legs. He put his hands on the arms of the chair, bracing himself so I could ride him hard, and I grinned. “That’s right, Nick. Don’t let go of that chair.”

I slid a hand between my legs, spreading myself wide as I bounced up and down, grinding myself against him with a twisty little swivel of my hips each time I bottomed out.

“Damn, look at you. Look at us.” His dark eyes roamed over me as I took him. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this, so wet, so fucking hot.”

It was empowering, the way he watched me, the way he was coming apart beneath me. He was mine and I was his and we were going over the edge together.

His body was strung tight with the need to release. His hands on the chair had moved to my hips, digging into my flesh as he encouraged me to go harder, to move faster. “Please, baby, please . . .” His deep groan sent another wave of hot pleasure through me as I arched back and squeezed him tight. The fluttering waves of my orgasm sent me flying as he thrust up and pulled me down hard. He came along with me, letting out a groan as he released.

“My god, Nick,” I gasped as we broke apart together. I fell forward to lie on his chest, struggling to catch my breath and come back down to earth. “I want to fall asleep like this, right here in my closet, straddling your lap, filled full of you. But the dual threats of a UTI and my lower back going out could make that a problem in the morning.”

He stood, lifting me as he got to his feet, his hands beneath my ass, and carried me into the bedroom. “I can’t sleep sitting up either.”

He put a knee to the bed and let me fall backward. I scrambled under the covers and patted the bed for him to join me.

“This is amazing.” I took stock of my body and how deliciously languid I felt. “I never consented to all these feelings,” I joked. “I don’t know how to feel this good. My legs are still shaking.”

“But will you consent to me waking you up with my mouth between these pretty thighs of yours in the middle of the night?”

“Only if you consent to me grabbing your hair, clamping your head between my legs, and grinding against your face like a maniac.” I grinned as his smile got lazy. “Sleep Clara has vivid dreams on occasion,” I explained. “You’d be making one of them come true.”

“I consent to all of that. Please do it.”

I held up a finger. “Okay, but⁠—”

“If you close your legs or push me away, that means no.”

“Good man. You get it. I have to ask you something. It’s been on my mind since we started sleeping together again.”

“Ask me anything. Get over here.” He pulled me into his arms and wrapped me tight.

“How were you always so, um, good at it?” I looked up, my chin on his chest so I could see his face.

“At what?” he asked, the picture of innocence.

I closed my eyes. “You’re gonna make me say it?”

“Of course.” He smirked. “My ego needs stroking just like any other man’s.”

“Ugh! Fine. Every time we were together, you made me come. Even the first time. How?”

His grin spread slowly across his face. “Ahh, yes. If I recall correctly, you thought you died the first time I got you off. That I’d murdered you with a finger bang.” His eyes were lazy on mine, seductive, sexy as hell, and totally smug. He’d earned the right to be smug, so I didn’t protest.

“Yeah, not gonna lie, I was fairly certain you’d sent me straight up to heaven. It wasn’t until later on that I, uh . . .”

“Missed me and my special gifts?” He stuck his tongue out, waggling it obscenely. “Realized that I had ruined you for all others with my constant need to eat you out?”

“You were kind of obsessed with it.”

“I was kind of obsessed with you.” He slid a hand between my legs, stroking me softly, intimately. “This pretty pussy of yours was just a sweet bonus.”

I swatted him on the arm with a laugh and threw a leg over his hip to give him better access at the same time. “Come on, be serious. How did you start off knowing where everything was and what to do with it? God, Nick.” I gasped as a shudder shot through me.

I bit my lip as he began to swirl his fingers around my clit in earnest.

“Come for me again, then I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

“’Kay . . .”

“Remember when I got you off for the first time, just like this? In the front seat of my truck, with that little jean skirt pulled up to your waist, panties pushed to the side, and those perfect tits of yours out, all red and rosy from my mouth. You bit your lip just like you’re doing right now. Do you remember that, baby?”

“Yes, I remember.” I was panting so hard I could barely get the words out. “Don’t stop, please, Nick.”

“You’re so fucking sexy.” This Nick was a little bit arrogant; he knew he was going to make me explode all over his hand and he loved it. It was as maddening as it was hot. “I can feel you getting tight around my fingers. Are you gonna come for me like a good girl, just like you did in my truck all those years ago?”

“Mm-hmm.” My hips writhed against him in time with his pumping fingers. “You’re killing me.”

“You fucking love it, don’t you?” he growled. “You’re my girl again, aren’t you, baby? Mine to take care of. It’s my job to make you feel good, isn’t it?”

“Oh god . . ..”

“Say it. Tell me you’re mine and I’ll let you come.”

“I’m yours.”

He withdrew his hand and swatted it against my ass. I gasped. “That’s not what I wanted to hear.”

“I’m your girl. I’m your girl, Nick. Please . . .” He drove into me with two fingers while pressing his thumb hard against me.

I let go with a loud, shuddering moan. “What happened to you? You used to be so sweet,” I gasped.

Hot eyes met mine as a wicked grin slid across his mouth. “I just made you come—and pretty spectacularly, I might add. That seems pretty sweet to me.”

“It is,” I conceded. “I’ll admit it—I like this new Nick.”

He laughed in response and tucked me into his side again. “Ask me anything now. I’m feeling pretty fucking relaxed.”

“So, how were you so good at it? I mean, our first time together didn’t even hurt, not one bit.”

“You know I was an early reader?” I nodded again his chest, grinning at the unexpected beginning of his explanation. “My dad always used to say if you can read, you can figure out anything you’re interested in. Information is everywhere.”

“Oh my word, Nick.” I stifled a giggle at the direction this was going in.

“After we talked about taking things to the next level, I did my research. I wanted to make you feel good and I really didn’t want to hurt you. I’d heard some things from guys on the team—crying, blood, pain, regrets—and I didn’t want any of that. I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you, and I knew I’d want to do it again.” His lips tipped up at the corner. “And I also knew I was bigger than average.”

“You are an awesome nerd with a huge, respectful dick, and I love it.”

Slowly, seductively, his gaze slid up and over my body sprawled against his as he continued, “So yeah, I went to the library, like any horny nerd would do.”

He winked and it was all I could do not to jump him again and fuck his brains out. “I love this.”

“Side note, you should have seen the look on Bethany Winston’s face when she saw the stack of books I brought up to the counter the week before our first time: The Joy of Sex, The Kama Sutra, Gray’s Anatomy, and a few more that I can’t remember the titles of.”

“Oh my god, you’re such a good man. Watching porn didn’t even cross your mind? I love that.”

“I wish I didn’t have to shatter that illusion.” He chuckled. “Porn was interesting and quite useful sometimes—especially for the moments when I couldn’t be with you.” He mimed jacking off with a sheepish grin. “What can I say? I was a teenager.”

“Of course. Whatever was I thinking?”

“But seriously, it left out some of the best parts, like the stuff we’d already done—all the kissing and touching, how we used to just hold each other in the back of my truck and look at the stars⁠—”

“Look at the stars. Is that what you call what we did back there? Best euphemism ever. A lot of fooling around back there is what we did. I have no memories of stars in the sky but plenty when it comes to you and the stars you made me see.”

“Right?” He squeezed me tight and kissed my temple. “But seriously, for me? Before all the fooling around—and even sometimes during it—what I loved the most was the simple feeling of having my hands on your skin and how happy I felt when you were close to me.” His hands ran slowly up and down my back as he spoke, sending goosebumps and tingles all along my spine.

“I loved it too.”

“It was essential, anticipatory, and thrilling to be able to put just a fingertip on you and watch you shiver. Porn didn’t get into any of that stuff, at least not the kind I found online. But once I swiped a few of my mother’s romance novels, I knew I’d struck gold.”

“Romance novels, huh? I love it. I love you. You made everything special and wonderful and . . . your ex-wife is your ex because why? She must be crazy.”

“Ahh, she was pissed that I never gave in to my mother’s demands. Which involved country clubs, smarmy ass-kissing, and taking a job with my stepfather. A teacher’s salary was not what she’d anticipated when she spotted me on campus and found out who I was related to.”

“Oh, Nick. I’m so sorry⁠—”

“I was drunk a lot back then, trying to forget about you. I was easy pickings for someone like her. She’s not all bad—she’s a great mom and, for the most part, we get along now. But she wasn’t you, and I was never really happy being married to her.”

“Well, I have plenty of my own money, I don’t need yours. All I’m after is your body, your sweet personality, and your genius brain. Oh, and your massive dick and astounding oral skills. I want those too.”

He burst out laughing. “Well, it’s all yours. I’m yours.”

“And I’m yours.”

“Speaking of oral skills . . .” He slid a hand up my thigh with a wicked grin. “How about a little taste before we go downstairs? I think the thunderstorm is over.”