35. ARAN

CHAPTER 35

ARAN

T hwack. Chug. Thwack. Chug.

That's been the pattern for the last hour. I throw a dart, hit anywhere between bullseye and the wall, and take a big swig from a beer glass I keep getting refilled.

After sitting at my secret spot for a few hours, I hauled my ass to practice and killed it. Just like I killed it during the last game after Edwards almost blew it. But since Coach doesn't want to bend and neither do I, the varsity guys have started taking sides. The so-called Team Coach—which is really Team Edwards, in my opinion—versus the Team Captain. So now we have some weird mutiny on our hands. When people started getting in each other's grills, Assistant Coach Thomas and others from the staff sent us home.

And shockingly, I'm the only one at O'Malley's this time.

Well, Archie wanted to join me in my grouching, but he's on a date with Christine from the Strikes. Mark's down with the flu and didn't even attend practice. And Jamal's cramming for a midterm.

Being alone was probably what I needed, until Luz texted in the Rodriguez siblings' group chat that she's bored at our parents' and demands a siblings' night out. Her fiancé is back on the road, and since the remodeling she's having done for the grand opening of her PT clinic isn't finished, she's back at the parents' and bored out of her mind.

Now, she and Aceituna are on their way over to O'Malley's, and I'm on my way over to being absolutely shitfaced. There's only beer in my stomach, and that is no bueno, but all I can do is thwack and chug. Otherwise, I'll punch something.

Why? It's not because of what went down during practice. Nah. But because I sat by the lake for long enough that I got even more tanned and came up with exactly zero ideas for how to get into Maddie's good graces without being too pushy.

I've never been this stumped about a girl before. Because today, I realized they've always come to me. And if it makes me sound like an asshole, it's because I am one.

So, when Luz said she wanted to hang out, I agreed right away because… maybe I need the female perspective from someone other than Ryan, who still wants to murder me. And I'm nervous as shit about the prospect of this conversation, so thwack and chug.

"Excuse me, can I get another one?" I ask the waiter passing by. He pauses, staring at my empty glass. Maybe he's doing the math. I don't tell him it's my eighth. I do blurt out, "I'm not driving tonight."

He takes my glass. "One more coming."

"Thanks," I say, all polite and shit.

The only place I'm driving myself to is hangover town. I have an exam tomorrow that will be super fun, but that's a problem for future-Aran. Tonight-Aran needs beer so he can talk about feelings without socking himself in the nose.

I know the second my sisters arrive because the few people at O'Malley's on a random weeknight start cheering like they're seeing a celebrity. Because Luz is a superstar for the locals nearly as much as her future husband is. I throw one more dart and grab onto air, because the waiter hasn't come back with my refilled glass.

Sighing, I turn to face the incoming projectiles.

Luz is shaking hands and snapping selfies like a politician. Behind her, Liv rolls her eyes, already bored with everything.

Mierda, esto es una mala idea.

It's too late to run, though. As if reading my mind, they both zero in on me. Of course, this is when the waiter comes back with a new glass of beer. Which I down in one go before Luz and Liv even reach me.

"Whoa, big guy. What's up with you?"

Loaded question, to which I grunt.

"Can I even be here?" Olivia asks, glancing around. "This looks like a bar."

"Of course you can. It's not like we're here to get sloshed like this Neanderthal here." Luz pinches Liv's cheek in the way that makes her recoil and bring the claws out. Which she does.

I signal the waiter again. "One more." After a second, I add, "Please."

Both of my sisters narrow their eyes at me. Then exchange looks. They think I can't read the secret message, but I can. I grew up translating that language.

They're thinking What's wrong with our robot?

They're about to find out.

Slowly, I walk around them and slide into a booth. Everything spins. Maybe the ninth beer wasn't a good idea.

They sit together across from me, and the second the waiter sets the new beer down before me, Luz swipes it and says, "Can we please have three loaded double cheeseburgers, one lettuce wrapped burger with no cheese, and a jumbo basket of fries?"

"I also want a Coke," Liv adds. Luz repeats it to the waiter, as if he didn't hear it himself. The guy nods, knowing the boss of this table isn't the burly drunkard, but the first-ever captain of St. Cloud's Thunder Strikes.

After he's gone, Luz takes a healthy swig of the beer and, sighing, she says, "I'm sensing something's up with our brother. Wouldn't you agree, Olivia?"

"Oh, it's written all over his grumpy mug," my younger sister adds with a lopsided smirk. "It looks particularly grumpy today, in fact."

Speaking of, I rub my face hard and keep it in my hands for a minute. I know two out of the three cheeseburgers are for me, and honestly, I'm starving. Also, a bad midweek hangover no longer sounds appealing.

"Aran, seriously. Is there something wrong?"

"I'm in love with someone."

After that, there's silence at the table. Someone laughs at the back of the bar, beyond the pool tables. That's some excellent comedic timing, huh?

I ease my hands down and lift my face. Both of my sisters are as wide-eyed as they physically can be. If I had any willpower, I'd snap a picture for blackmail purposes. But I can't bring myself to move a muscle other than to keep talking and getting it all out before I chicken out.

"And I don't know how to go about it because I've never felt like this before. And by the way, I already messed it up with her, so I'm playing on hard mode here, and I'm losing so bad it hurts."

Wow. My chest feels tight. Like it physically hurts to say all this aloud. Like I was pretending it wasn't this bad while I kept it all bottled up.

"I…" Luz closes her mouth. Opens it again. Twice more.

I glance down at Luz's glass, but she has both hands firmly clasped around it. She'll never give it to me. How the hell am I going to deal with the rest of this conversation, though?

"Wait, wait." Olivia raises both hands as if Luz and I are about to fight or something. "You're telling me that you, Aran Jose Rodriguez—best known as ‘the Iceberg'—are actually capable of emotions?"

"Hardy har har."

Luz turns to her. "This is breaking news to me too."

I frown. "I told you I can pass a damn Captcha."

"Maybe what's more shocking is that there's a girl on this planet who can capture the attention of this serial dater," Liv says, resting her chin on her hand. "When can I meet her?"

"Never, if I can't get her to forgive my ass."

"What did you do, you turd?" Luz asks.

The food starts arriving, and before I can use my burger as an excuse to stay quiet for a while, Liv pulls my plate toward her and destroys my plan. Normally, neither of them could pull this off. No one's reflexes are faster than mine, and no one's ever hungrier than me. But today, I'm not normal.

Today I smell of eau de desperation.

Sucking it up, I give them the abridged version of the tale. I skip over the parts my little sister has to stay innocent about, but I don't gloss over all the parts where I screwed up. And as I explain, I realize I botched everything up from day one. Because the second I set my eyes on Madeline Berkley and her strawberry earrings, her bad spying skills, her blushing cheeks, it was like I knew this was it. I was toast. And I chose to ignore it and play my own nefarious little game.

I may be objectively depressed, but once I'm done talking, I slide my plate over and tuck into the first burger.

Luz runs a hand through her long hair, while Liv observes me like I'm a puzzle she can't crack. Joke's on her. I don't understand me either. Why couldn't I just tell Strawberry I liked her back when I had the chance? It wasn't like Coach was breathing down my neck and making me say what I said.

"Yeah, I'm a freaking coward," I say aloud while I munch. "I'm terrified of hospitals and I'm scared shitless that someone I care about will leave me. So I try not to care about others, and I freaked out when I realized I care about this girl. A lot. Pass the mustard." I motion with my fingers at Liv.

Wordlessly, she grabs the condiment bottle from the corner of the table and sets it before me. I squirt mustard on my fries and stuff a handful into my gullet.

Luz gives out a short, snorty laugh. "I can't believe you just said all that with such a straight face, and while eating as usual."

"What? Do you want me to starve?"

"Heaven forbid."

"You have such a middle child complex." Liv shakes her head and grabs her as yet uneaten lettuce wrap burger. "Abandonment and trust issues all rolled into one."

"I'm proud of you, hermanito." Luz reaches over and pats my hand. "Growing up hurts. And I know you haven't had it easy, anyway, with two whacky sisters who have always kept you busy."

Liv reaches out for one of the fries, and I smack her hand away. "Don't touch those. They fry them in peanut oil."

"What?" Liv leans back with a huff. "How dare they."

"My point exactly," Luz says, motioning between Liv and me. "Aran, you've always been such a caretaker, and it's our fault. Our parents' too, to be honest. But have you never wanted anyone to care for you?"

I freeze, the burger in my hand hovering in midair before my open mouth. My older sister's smile is a bit sad.

"I'm just saying, if you try to keep everyone else at a safe distance, you also close yourself off to that possibility."

"Dude, you're a PT, not a psychologist," our little sister says with her mouth full. Luz preens a little.

Fully grouchy now, I set my burger back down. "Whatever. Stop psychoanalyzing me. What do I do now?"

Liv opens her eyes wide. "Um, have you not considered just telling her? Communication is so sexy."

"Shut up. You're too young to think anything's sexy at all."

" You shut up. I'm almost eighteen now."

I roll my eyes. "As if that still didn't make you a baby in diapers."

"That is absolutely gross, but you're too far away for me to kick you under the table."

"You are both babies in diapers," Luz chimes in instead.

Our sister tells her, "No, you're just old now."

"Wow, the disrespect."

"Mujeres." I bark the word, and it silences them long enough so I can speak. "What in the hell should I do so that a) Maddie forgives me for acting like a tool, and b) goes out with me, or at least becomes my friend again?"

"Hmm."

"That's a tough one."

"Yeah."

They look at each other and start giggling. At me, obviously.

Grunting, I go back to my burger.

Liv takes a sip of her soda and then says, "I'm still a fan of communication. In fact, it's super annoying in romance books when the couple's apart only because of some silly miscommunication."

I sigh. "Did I mention Maddie's a romance book writer?"

My little sister gasps. "You're kidding me! I must meet her for real now."

"Why are you reading romance books?" Luz cocks an eyebrow at her. "I thought you hated romance."

"Real-life couples are yuck. Chief of them, you and Max. But in books, they're cool."

I can't believe I'm about to say this but… "Can we focus back on me?"

And whaddaya know, it works. It's so abnormal to have their combined attention on me that I, "the Iceberg," squirm a little. It's totally the alcohol, right?

"Okay, okay." Luz motions for the three of us to huddle, and Olivia and I lean closer. "Here's the game plan, big guy. First, you have to choose which option you're really going for. If you truly want to just be her friend, you can't give her weird signals again."

I shake my head. "No, I'm done with that. What I really want is her."

"Aww."

"Focus, woman."

Luz grins. "Okay, so we're going straight for the a and b combo. If your girl is into romance books, the best thing you can do is show her what she means to you."

Liv's eyes light up. "Oh, yes. A grand gesture."

"A what?"

"You know, flowers, chocolates—promposals are an example of a grand gesture."

I scrunch my face up and glare. "I'm not going to do a promposal."

"No, but like—" Liv gesticulates with her hands. "Just do something extraordinary, is what I mean."

I turn to our older sister. "Did Cassiano ever do some crap like this for you?"

"I guess when he proposed last year, though he didn't really need a grand gesture."

"Are you implying I'm lesser than Cassiano?"

Luz bursts out laughing. "No, you knucklehead. You're just different."

"Plus, you, yourself, said you needed ideas, so there." Liv folds her arms and lifts a shoulder like a queen who hath spoken or whatever. Maddie would know how to say that right.

I lean back, tucking my tongue against my cheek as I mull over this half-baked idea. It's already more than I could come up with on my own.

"Okay, grand gesture. What are some examples that won't shatter my self-respect?"

"You mean you wouldn't write I love U Maddie across your moobs and flash her in public?" Liv cackles like a hyena, and I have to ask the heavens for a heavy dose of patience.

"Of course not. I'm not a stalker fangirl. And I don't have moobs. I have pecs of steel."

"Every grand gesture needs an event. You shape the actual gesture around that theme." Luz speaks over us as if she's the wise one here. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. Except she's making some sense now.

"Oh, good one," Liv confirms.

I rub my head and back down my neck, racking my brain for an event. I mean, the biggest one is graduation, but that's too far away. I can't wait that long. Whatever time I have left with her, I'll take. Then there would be the national championship, when the Bolts make it there, but she's not even going to our games now. And her sister's wedding already happened.

Then it hits me.

"I got it. Her debut book is launching next week."

Liv gasps, excited, as if she's reading one of her books.

Meanwhile, Luz makes us huddle again. "Okay, how about this…"

I start sobering up as we hatch a plan.