Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

The conversation with Gage went exactly as she thought it would. There was too much pain between them to ever expect him to forgive her for the mistakes she made.

And she knew they were mistakes. Not at the time, but eventually she figured out that there were better ways she could've handled her own trauma. A shared trauma that the two of them should've sought comfort from the other for, rather than allowing it to be the final nail in their coffin.

Before she started seeing her therapist, there had been so many times that she internalized the blame. It took nearly six months for her to realize this was the path she was meant to take. There was a likelihood their young love never would've made it out of their teens. Not without one of them feeling held back by the other.

Dani doubted she would be able to help Gage see that though.

Maybe I need to hook him up with my therapist.

She rejected the idea immediately. Gage wasn't the kind of person who accepted outside help. He didn't trust easily, and based on the conversation she overheard, that hadn't changed. It sucked to think that he had a group of friends who wanted to include him but he was holding them at arm's length because of her.

Dani sighed and reached for her phone. She had a call to make.

"Hey, sweetheart." The familiar sweet voice answered on the first ring.

"Hi." Her mood instantly lifted, just like it did every time she called.

"What's wrong? I can hear something off in your voice."

"I finally called Gage." She explained how she came back to Pennsylvania, got pulled over and the officer who stopped her discovered the warrant. How she spent the night in the county jail, and that the situation finally gave her the courage she needed to call him.

"Oh, sweetheart. I take it my son wasn't happy to hear from you?"

Dani laughed as she thought about her time with Gage since he picked her up. Unhappy was mild compared to how she assumed he really felt.

"No, he wasn't happy, but you should know that I had to tell him I talk to you. He questioned how I got his phone number and I didn't want to lie. I'm sorry that I caused trouble for you."

Janet snickered. "Don't you worry about me. I've been dealing with my son for years. He'll get over it."

Dani wasn't so sure about that, but she didn't argue.

"Is he at least treating you nicely?"

At first Dani didn't know what to say. Then she remembered this was the woman who she had spent many nights crying to over the past year. And still Janet never judged her.

"He's still so angry. He's never going to forgive me. I know you said he might but you didn't hear him just now. He's just as angry today as he was the day I left your house."

Gage hadn't known at the time, but when she stepped foot out his front door, she had lost it. All the bravado she had while talking to him disappeared in an instant. She would've walked home if it weren't for Janet offering her a ride.

Her sixteen-year-old self had been so afraid to accept the ride that day. Afraid of what Janet would think after she broke up with her son. But the fear was misplaced. Janet, more than anyone, knew why she made her decision, and said she would support Dani however she needed to.

It was true to this day. Janet was the mother she wished she had.

"That's because he's single-minded. I love my son dearly but he’s only ever seen the world one way and anything outside of that he shuts out. He couldn't know it at the time, but you leaving was the best thing for him and his future."

Just like every other time they spoke, Dani once again felt better about the decisions she made. She was a junior in high school and Gage a senior. They thought they had the rest of their lives to grow up but life had other plans. She was forced too soon to see what their parents faced. Except unlike their parents, nature took care of the problem and gave her a new outlook on life. Deep down she always knew she was right, but listening to how angry Gage was at her allowed her to forget for a moment.

"Thanks, Janet. I needed to hear that."

"Any time, sweetheart. And I mean that. You can call me whenever you need a reminder. I know you love my son. Soon he’ll realize it too but he's going to need some time. He's stubborn. It's no excuse and I wish I could say me talking to him would help, but I know it won't. He needs to come to the realization on his own. I just hope it's before he pushes you away."

Dani hoped so as well.

They said their goodbyes, and Dani slipped the phone back into her pocket. Gage cleared his throat from somewhere behind her and made her jump in fright. She had been so focused on the conversation with his mother that she hadn't heard him come back into the room.

"Was that my mother?"

Dani spun on her heel before answering him. "It was."

"You two really are close."

It wasn't a question and she couldn't get a read on him. As children, she used to think she knew him better than herself but right now she couldn't figure out what he was thinking. It unnerved her.

"She's helped me in a lot of ways. There's no one else I would've wanted by my side this last year."

Recovering from a drug addiction wasn't easy. Following in her parents’ path had never been the plan but she was proud to say she was fourteen months sober. Some days were harder than others; she had Janet to thank for getting through those tough times. She was the most patient and understanding person Dani ever met.

Too bad her son wasn't the same way.

"What ever happened to your parents?" Gage asked her.

"They died a few years ago. Both from a drug overdose a couple of weeks apart."

That was when she checked herself into rehab the first time, but unfortunately it didn't stick. There was something to be said about getting out and going back to the crowd one previously hung with. The counselors tried to advise her it was a bad idea, that she needed a change of friends, but she didn't listen.

Of course they were right. It didn't take long for her to start using again. The bar fight was a blessing in disguise. She escaped to rehab once again, but when she got out, instead of going back to her old stomping grounds, she found somewhere new. And she started talking to Janet regularly. Since that day, she’d been doing great.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Gage offered.

Dani shrugged. "It wasn't like we were close. I don't think they even remembered I existed after I moved out. I was no longer their responsibility and it was one less mouth to feed."

Gage crossed his arms over his impressive chest. "How come you didn't leave like we originally planned? I thought you hated our neighborhood as much as I did. We always talked about getting away as soon as we were able to."

She pulled out a stool and dropped onto it. With a pathetic excuse for a laugh, she confessed a little bit about her life.

"I was scared. It was one thing to make plans with you, but when the time came, I was alone and afraid of what would happen if I left. I might have hated our neighborhood, but at least it was familiar. Eventually, I got comfortable and didn't care anymore that I used to hate it."

That was only the partial truth. She had been too strung out to care, but she wasn't ready to tell him about that part of her life. He would think it was his fault. Gage took on the weight of the world that way.

"So you just stayed?" Gage shook his head in disbelief. "The girl I used to know was adventurous and nothing scared her. She took life by the horns. What the hell happened to that person?"

Life happened.

Tragedy happened.

One very specific event happened that they never talked about.

Dani didn't say any of that though.

Gage's phone rang and she knew even before he looked at who was calling that it was important.

"Hold that thought. It's my co-worker. I need to take this."

Saved by the bell. Or in this case the ringing of a phone. Either way, she was saved from having to tell Gage about her life since he left for the Army. Some things she wasn't sure she would ever be ready to confess to him.