Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

One Month Later

This was the second time Gage was called away with his team for an assignment, but unlike last time, Dani knew she would be okay.

She had a plan. The ladies were coming over. They would bounce between the different houses for as long as the guys were away but Bree insisted the first night they use Dani’s house. Something about her being more comfortable in her own home.

She hadn’t argued. She didn’t care where they stayed as long as she wasn’t alone, although she was feeling more confident. The days had been better. Gage was able to go to the office without her needing to call him within minutes. He never stayed more than an hour or two. He used the excuse he missed her but she knew the truth. He wanted to be available in case she needed him. Some would think he was smothering her but really she was grateful for the crutch. It helped to know she wasn’t alone.

And truth be told, it was no different than when she would call Janet a million times those first few months. So many times she thought how annoying it must’ve been for Gage’s mother, but there was never a time Janet made her feel that way.

She still talked to Janet. Not daily but certainly a few times a week. Even Gage spoke to his mother more. He liked to say it was because they had her in common but she knew better. He was finally letting people back into his life after all these years.

Dani wanted that for him.

“Knock, knock!”

Dani smiled from where she was putting together snacks in the kitchen. No matter how many times Gage reminded Bree that she couldn’t just walk in without permission, her friend did it anyway.

“In the kitchen!” she hollered back. She was trying her hand at a charcuterie board. Turning her head slightly to the right, she had to admit it didn’t look too bad. Not as fancy as what she found online, but it didn’t look horrible either. She was fast learning that she didn’t need to impress these women. They would’ve been fine with her tossing the containers on the counter and saying help yourselves but she couldn’t do that. Not the new her anyway.

“That looks gorgeous.” Addison leaned over her shoulder and snuck a chunk of cheese.

“Look at the new girl trying to show us all up. Now I’m going to have to learn to make food look pretty.” Bree plopped down on a stool with a huff. The smile on her face gave her away that she was joking. Bree loved to tease.

“I’m not a fan of sitting around idle. Decorating the house has taken up a lot of my time, but now that it’s done, I need to find other ways to stay busy. I never thought I would enjoy cooking or planning, but apparently, I do.” She chuckled at the last part.

Before moving in with Gage, food was just something she ate to survive. Now she was saving recipes and looking up different ways to use chicken or beef in meals. It was satisfying to know that she could take care of herself and Gage.

“How are you?” Emma leaned across the counter and patted her hand. She smiled at the woman who took on the mother role within the group.

“This was a good week. I only had one tough day but we got through it. Gage has been great and I talked to his mother, so that helped. I know everyone here is super supportive but she was the first person who got me through the rough days and sometimes she’s who I need.”

The girls knew all about what happened to her. Bree had done the research but she never told a soul, not even Gage. She was a great friend even before they officially met. Originally Dani had been embarrassed to share her story, but Gage convinced her it was best.

He was right as usual. It felt good to know she could turn to any of them without having to explain a thing and they would support her. It was hard to know when a craving would sneak up. She could do everything right and still it would come out of nowhere. It was during those times she was grateful for the friends she’d made. They never pried but they would check in, simply because they truly cared.

When they asked how she was doing, it wasn’t malicious. It wasn’t because they were nosy. They weren’t aiming to make her feel bad. They wanted to help in any way they could.

“It’s great that you have that kind of relationship with his mother.” Karlie swayed a sleeping Anna in her arms as she spoke.

“Did you want to lay her down? I have the playpen set up in the spare room with the monitor hooked up.”

It was one of the first things she did when setting up the house. If the ladies were going to come over to help keep her from being lonely, then she wanted a place for their kids to also be comfortable. The room was big enough that when Bree eventually had her baby, another playpen could easily be added.

“I will soon. She’s been a little fussy today, so I want to make sure she’s asleep before I put her down.”

“I’m definitely going to take you up on that offer.” Franni gave a small smile and walked by with her own sleeping daughter.

“Absolutely. There are clean sheets on the bed and the railing is up.”

Gia moved around a lot at night. Thankfully Emma had an extra set of rails because the first night everyone slept over could’ve been way worse. She would’ve felt awful if the little girl fell off the bed after Gage rallied the troops.

“Thank you.” Franni’s soft voice could barely be heard over everyone else talking. She was quiet and Dani found she liked that over Bree’s loud personality some days.

“Who knew cheese and crackers could hit the spot?” Bree moaned.

Everyone in the room laughed. Even Karlie let out a shy chuckle.

“You’re so lucky that you didn’t have morning sickness.” Emma plopped her chin down on her hands. “I couldn’t even eat during my first trimester.”

Thankfully Gage had filled her in on Emma’s past. It would’ve sucked to ask about her being a mother when there was no child around. Even though technically Emma’s daughter would’ve been in her twenties.

“Same,” Franni said as she walked back into the kitchen. “My first trimester was horrible. Probably didn’t help that my food intake was monitored so closely.” She rolled her eyes.

“I’m of no help. Nothing about my pregnancy was normal,” Karlie piped in.

Each of these women had their own horrific story before coming to New Mexico. Maybe that was why she didn’t mind telling them what happened to her. They would never judge her.

“You’ll know soon enough. It won’t take long before Steel knocks you up again.”

Karlie blushed at Bree’s blunt statement. Steel wasn’t shy about expressing that he wanted a big family and he wanted to be around the next time Karlie was pregnant. According to Gage, it killed him that she went through everything on her own.

“Pretty sure this place can only handle one pregnant person at a time.” Emma looked around at each of them. “Thankfully I’m well past that time in my life.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about me joining in that club. Liam and I don’t want kids.” Addison plopped another chunk of cheese in her mouth.

“Blayd and I are in no rush. I’ll gladly give him another child but we’re happy with just one for now.”

Suddenly, every eye was on her.

“Dani?” Bree looked at her expectantly.

“Ummm.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t think I’m in a position to have children anytime soon. A person needs to have their shit together before adding a kid into the mix and I definitely don’t. I can’t even spend the night alone without you all needing to come babysit me. How could I possibly care for a baby? And how the hell would the birthing experience be when I can’t have narcotics without the fear of relapse? Nope, a pregnancy isn’t in the cards for me right now.”

“I think you would make a great mother. And this is definitely not us babysitting you. We love having a reason to do this when the guys are away.”

Emma was sweet just like Janet. They both had so much faith in her. She wished she could have a pinch of their faith in herself.

“I know my experience isn’t the best, but I went into labor without drugs, and as horrible as it was, I could handle it. I think you could as well,” Karlie encouraged.

“Maybe, but I don’t think I should tempt fate like that.”

Gage was of the same mindset. They didn’t understand the fear that coursed through her body at the thought. Just knowing she could screw up was enough to make her wait. They could all be as confident as they wanted but she knew her mind and right now it wasn’t in the right place.

“There’s no pressure. Believe me we would never do that to you, but just know you would never be alone. I know you have Gage. I know his mother would gladly come here. They might not be close but there’s no way she wouldn’t come for you. But you would have us as well. We would be there with you every step of the way.”

Tears threatened to make a fool of her, so she blinked them away. “I appreciate that but I need to make sure there’s no chance of relapse before I can ever make that decision. I’ve had a lot of great days lately but a few crappy ones have snuck through.”

Emma was the one to take her hand. “Seriously, zero pressure. We just want you to be happy.”

Dani smiled. For the first time in a while she was more than just happy. She felt like life was looking up. She might not be sure of herself but she had plenty of people in her corner rooting for her and that was enough.