25. Chapter 25

It was Sunday, and we needed to head back to Austin tomorrow. I wanted to stay longer, but we had classes, and I had football obligations.

Aspen's family had been incredible these past couple of days. They were so damn nice, funny, smart, and honest. I still couldn't believe they weren't related. But being around his family reminded me of all that I didn't have with my own. Sure, I adored Ben, but I wish my parents gave me the same sort of love where I could come to them with anything, and they would never judge or criticize me. But they would never change. My parents lived a life of rigidity and structure.

Being with Aspen in a more meaningful way terrified me a little. I knew my family would frown on it, if not get outright angry, and it would probably disappoint Ben, but I needed to try. I really wanted Aspen in my life. I would tell my parents eventually, but it would take a lot of time, and I needed Aspen's patience.

But hell, he made me experience things I'd never felt before, like true fucking lust. Like, the sort of lust that made you literally hungry for someone. I never had that with a girl. Sure, they turned me on, but not in the way Aspen lit my body on fire.

It wasn't only about having sex with him. It ran deeper than that. He was an amazing person. Fearless. Smart. Aspen was a man I aspired to be. Was he perfect? No. But those imperfections made him even more perfect.

After working on the farm all morning and early afternoon, Aspen and I took a shower together again to ‘conserve water' and rub one out on each other. I tried not to feel too weird about messing around with Aspen in his parent's house, but it took little effort to breach my walls when it came to him, not that I built them very high.

For our last evening after dinner, Aspen's dad set up the fire pit in the backyard and arranged some chairs for us to sit around. The evening was in the low thirties, but the fire was big, and we were all bundled in jackets and blankets while his sisters roasted marshmallows. His mom and dad sipped on wine, but I opted for water since I needed to be at practice early tomorrow.

Aspen sat right next to me, and I draped my arm over the back of his chair just to touch him. In any other world that wasn't on this farm full of love, comfort, and a sense of home, I'd be more wary of how I acted around Aspen. When we got back and we left our safety bubble here in San Marcos, I'd be more reluctant to show him how I felt out in public. We'd talked about it, so I hoped things would be okay. It was going to take time to figure things out.

He pulled out his acoustic guitar sitting next to him and strummed a slow rift. I wasn't familiar with the song, but it had a slow and gentle melody, and love and promises filled the lyrics. His voice was soft and on key, and I couldn't stop watching him as his curls fell into his face while he paid attention to where his fingers plucked the cords.

My fingers reached for a lock of hair and pulled it away to see his face better as he sang the song that I felt in my heart. He was so emotive when he sang. Hell, Aspen was a walking-talking emotion, always so expressive and completely unafraid to show the world the kind of man he was.

When he finished the song, we all clapped. "What song was that?" I asked.

His mouth rose in a rare shy smile when he looked at me before glancing at the fire, shrugging. "It's stupid. I made up the song when I was fifteen. I'm not sure why I thought to play it tonight, but it just came to me."

"You wrote that when you were fifteen? Holy shit, that's amazing, Asp!"

His dark eyes grew wide, reflecting the firelight. "You liked it?"

"You definitely have a gift."

"He sure does," his Mom said, smiling at both of us. She hadn't stopped smiling since I arrived and found out Aspen and I had given this relationship thing a go.

"What's it called?" I asked.

"A Moment of Fire. It's about a man who finds his match." He huffed a laugh. "I liked it at the time."

"You don't like it now? You're so talented."

"All my kids are talented," Poppy said. "Willow writes wonderful short stories, Sage is amazing at basketball, and of course, Aspen can sing and write songs."

"I don't have an artistic bone in my body."

Sage scoffed. "Uh, wrong. While I'm not into football, I've seen you play. I say you've got an amazing talent. How you move is artistry. Any talented athlete looks like they're making art when they're good at what they do."

"I have to agree with my daughter," Aspen's dad said.

I laughed as the heat crept up my face. "I'll take it."

Aspen leaned in close to whisper something to me. "You're talented in other things, too."

"God, you did not just say that."

He snorted a laugh and kissed my burning cheek.

"You bring it out of me."

The ball fell right into my awaiting arms as smooth as silk. We played like fire today. If we played as well as our practices were going, we were going to kill it the following Saturday against Oklahoma State. If we won, we would head to the Sugar Bowl, and if we won that, we had a shot at the National Championship. To win that would help seal my chances for the NFL, or at least give me a good shot at some top team picks. I was going and my parents couldn't stop me.

Ronnie and Bryce ran up to me as I ran back to the sidelines. When we met in the middle, both of them lifted me into the air as we laughed.

"We're going to fucking kill it Saturday, baby," Ronnie whooped.

"Alright, put me down before you break something."

Both of my best buds eased me back onto my feet as Bryce clapped me on the back, nearly knocking the wind out of me. I mocked-scowled at him.

"Let's keep up this fire under our feet," Bryce said. "We're going to make it all the way to the top!"

"We need to stay vigilant. We can defeat Oklahoma State, but if we win, we will be up against either Georgia or Washington State. Both of which are tough teams to beat," I said.

"Always the downer," Bryce huffed.

I snorted a laugh. "The realist. Look, we have three more days after this before we play again. If we stay sharp and practice every day, we can do this."

After our showers, I got dressed, eager to return to Aspen. I had been nervous as fuck, too, since we talked about sex. It was Tuesday, and he planned to take the night off from work so we could explore some more. It wasn't the most romantically spontaneous moments, not as spontaneous as we'd been, but Aspen said we needed to be serious and to make sure I was on board, always caring about how I felt.

I didn't know why I was so nervous. It wasn't like I'd never had sex before. Fine, it was the first time with a dude, but I would be fucking him, not the other way around. How different could it be, right?

"Earth, to Coop," Bryce said, waving a hand in my face.

"What?"

"Dude, I've said your name like five times."

My face burned, and I tried to hide it by bending down and tying on my shoes. "Sorry, I"ve got a lot going on. What did you say?"

"So, do you promise not to be pissed at me?"

I glanced at his face, covered in blond scruff. It was new, but it looked good on him. "Why would I be pissed at you?"

He blew out a sigh and sat on the bench as I tied my other shoe on. "You seem to get along with Aspen really well, right?"

"Uh, yeah."

He rubbed the back of his neck and winced. "So, Cassie and I want to move in together. We're tired of sneaking around for fun, and…"

My relief was so palpable that I could taste it. I gave him a big smile and gripped his meaty shoulder. "It's cool, Bry. You two should move in together."

His face brightened with his smile. "Are you serious? You won't be mad?"

"Nah, it's all good. Aspen and I are great roommates. I'm fine where I am."

"Thank god. I got worried you'd be pissed since we've been planning to move in together for a while."

I clunked my forehead to his. "You're good. Seriously."

"Awesome! So, you wanna go out tonight?"

"I've got plans with Aspen. Next weekend, when we win against Oklahoma. We can party then."

"Yes!"

I was strangely relieved I didn't have to move in with Bryce and drown in guilt, worrying about letting him or Aspen down. I really liked where this thing was going between Aspen and me, and living together made it easier for us to explore each other.

Now, to see how I handled sex. Despite my nerves, I was strangely excited. It would be the first time having sex since Amanda. For a while, I started to feel sexually inadequate or broken, but now I felt… sexy and good at it. Aspen did that for me. I felt normal and whole again, all because of his crazy idea of bro-jobs. Who knew?

I huffed a laugh and tossed my backpack over my shoulder, waved goodbye to my teammates, and headed to the exciting unknown.