17. Matías

17

MATíAS

G od she was gorgeous.

Her cat eyes were so sharp, she could cut a man with just a look. By all accounts, I should have been in ribbons at her feet.

Wild curls floated around her head giving her an aura of ferocity. Yet, she stood there, her body turned slightly to the side, as if it was a mechanism to protect herself from me.

I would never hurt her. Not again.

Her top lip curled and she wouldn't look directly at me. It didn't matter. She was the very image of perfection. At one time, I considered myself lucky that she was mine. The thing was, whether she knew it or not, she was still mine.

And this was my chance.

I glanced around. I'd been in this office before. Not often, but enough to know it hadn't changed at all.

A few cork boards hung up on the concrete walls with old receipts and reminders pinned. There was a shabby desk with a metal chair behind it and two in front of it. That was it.

The Dirty Dogs weren’t the savvy business owners my father had been. They only cared about function and purpose.

I took a deep breath and scratched my temple. "Can we sit?"

Her gaze moved straight to the chairs. Instead of moving, she closed her eyes and took several inhales before letting them out. She'd been fired up when she marched me in here, but now that we were alone, that anger was draining.

That was best. I could never talk to her when she was upset. She was just as bull headed as Javier had been. Worse actually because she was the monster he created.

Fuck, not a monster. Not in those terms and not like my father.

Her brand of crazy was more endearing.

"Rita," I walked after her, making an effort to keep up, which was impressive all on its own. She was a few inches shorter than me in strappy high heels. But she moved in those things like she'd been born in them.

"I don't have time for your shit, Matías." She held her hand up. Some of the men at the club nodded at us as we passed. A few even smirked as they watched me chase after her.

They thought it was hilarious. Most of the time I did too.

Except right now, the club wasn't packed and I had a direct line of sight to her luscious ass bouncing with each step. I struggled to remember what I was supposed to be irritated about.

Then she stopped at the bar and raised a finger to get the bartender's attention.

"I can't believe you've never ridden a bike. That's outrageous." She huffed.

Oh, yeah. She'd thought I was the one out of my depths because I didn't ride bikes. Like that was the base-level requirement to fuck the Dirty Dogs princess.

I never said I couldn’t ride, but there was no point in telling her. If Vicente ever caught me riding with them, I’d be punished worse than my brother Grey for embarrassing him.

I grabbed her hand and walked her to the back hallway, out of sight of any patrons and any men who could report back to my father.

Caging her into the wall, I nipped her bottom lip. "I can still make you scream my name."

She glared at me in defiance, like she knew exactly what I was trying to do.

I grinned. Rita was the one person I couldn't bluff my way with. Her gaze dropped to my lips and she released her ire. "You want to date me, you have to ride a bike. That's non-negotiable."

Date. Such an innocent word but I savored the meaning behind it, ignoring all the reasons I couldn’t take her home with me.

"Why does it matter to you so much?" I nuzzled the soft spot just under her earlobe. It seemed so juvenile she'd care.

"How are you going to integrate into the Dirty Dogs if you can't keep up with Papá or the other men?" She huffed. "We'll have to get you a Riker. You'll be the butt of all jokes for the next decade. Matías Castillo. Son of the notorious Institution leader and trike rider." She rolled her eyes.

I grinned at her ridiculousness. I didn’t give a shit what the Dirty Dogs said. Except for Javier. I did respect him.

Sliding my hand under her dress, I nibbled down the column of her throat. Her breathing changed and I realized this was the key. Sex was the distraction she couldn't see through.

I used it to my advantage because I didn't have the heart to tell her the only way out of the Institution was death.

"Hell no." She glanced at the chairs like they were poison.

"Rita," I spoke softly, moving closer until I pulled a chair three or four feet from the other. "I'll sit over here. Please? "

If this was my only chance, I didn't want to fuck it up by starting in a hostile environment. Sitting down, I placed my palms on my knees and waited. Eventually, she huffed out an aggrieved breath, and sat down in the chair closest to me.

Rearranging my features, I remained calm. The last thing I wanted to do was irritate her with some fucked up expression.

"You want to talk? Fine." Her narrowed brown eyes locked on my earlobe. "Whether we're in the compound, at the club, or anywhere, you do not step into Dirty Dogs business. Ever."

I stiffened. Where the fuck had that come from?

"You're not a Dirty Dog, and you made it clear you never wanted to be. So–"

"I only stepped in to diffuse the situation," I interjected, then silently cursed. Fuck. I hadn't meant to talk over her.

"I don't need your help. I don't want it. I don't want anything from you." Her gaze met mine for half a second, then slid to my nose.

What the fuck?

"You don't want me to help, fine. Noted. But that's not what I wanted to talk about." I curled my fingers over my knees. "I wanted to apologize."

She reared back. "For what?" I opened my mouth, but she continued. "Because you've done a thousand and one things to me that you don't have any remorse for. So what thing are you giving me an empty apology for?"

The back of my throat burned. "Let me just explain?" When she flat-out turned her face to the wall, I continued. "I love you."

She sucked in a shallow breath, but otherwise didn't move. This was the second time I’d told her I loved her, and as much as I felt like I was trying to stand in a mudslide, I had to tell her.

"I love you so damn much, Rita. But I was fucked up. You met my father. At the very end, you saw how he made my brothers’ lives hell, and those were his sons . His fucking sons!" My voice started to rise and I dropped my gaze.

I needed to get a grip. I would not ruin this chance by losing my cool.

"I loved you enough to walk away." The words settled between us with a soft boom.

She shook her head vehemently. "That doesn't work, Matías. He was dead before you left. You could have told me anytime that was why you stayed away." She laughed. "I would have fallen at your feet because that's how much I loved you, even though I was a dirty fucking secret. But now? I can't accept that. I won't."

I made a sound of frustration in the back of my throat. "I'm sorry, Rita. The best I can say is I fucked up. But you've knocked sense into me. When you left my apartment in Portugal, I had a real look at what my life was like without you in it, and I refuse to live like that. I deserve happiness, even when I convinced myself I didn't. You deserve happiness. I'm here now. I'm not leaving again. There are no more obstacles in my way. Most of all, myself."

Her eyes started to water but she kept them from me.

Nerves wracked my body. Why wouldn't she look at me? I leaned to the side and she still didn't meet my gaze.

Without any of her fire, she shook her head. "No, Matías. You broke something in me that can never be fixed. You picked your family for whatever fucked up reason, over and over again. I lost confidence in myself, I lost trust in my judgment, and I missed the last days with my Papá for you !" She ended in a heart-breaking scream. "Whatever you want to do, stop . You broke it, and you can't fix it."

"There has to be something I can do, Rita,” I pleaded, a note of desperation entering my voice. Scooting to the edge of my seat, I inched as close to her as I dared. "I'm not leaving you again. I will never leave you again."

She finally met my gaze, her pupils flaring at the contact. " I don't believe you. "

"Then I'll fucking prove it to you," I growled. "What do you want? What will make it right? To show you that you are the most important thing to me in my entire fucking life?"

Rita pushed her tongue up over her front teeth as she glared at me. "There's nothing you can do."

"Then I'll have to prove it to you my way."

She grimaced in anger as she raised her hands, slowly curling them into tight fists. "Why did you even come back?" Her voice boomed through the small room.

"For you!" I yelled back.

"Well don't bother! I've been fucking Esteban." The way she spilled the admission between us, she wanted to make me angry. To push me away.

It did hurt. It stung like a motherfucker, but it was the consequences of my own actions.

"I know," I said through gritted teeth. Forcing myself to relax, I loosened my fingers. "Is that why you can't look at me for more than two seconds?"

Shaking her head side to side in disbelief, Rita stood up from the chair. "You don't even care. You don't even fucking care that I fucked Esteban before I came to Lucia's tonight, do you?"

"Do you want me to be upset?" I asked, working damn hard not to destroy the room in fury .

"I want you to have a fucking reaction!" She leaned over me.

Because she did care. She loved me and she couldn't turn it off. I understood that. There was nothing I could do about my feelings for her except sit in them, let them wrap me up like a warm blanket and hope they didn't suffocate me.

The door swung open as Esteban stepped in. "I don't like what I'm hearing." He shut it behind him. "Say the word, baby, and I'll take him out back and make sure he stays gone for good this time."

Fucking hell. He had a pet name for her? I didn't even call her anything like that.

It reminded me so much of my brothers with Amorette. They weren't afraid to show their affection, but I was fucking terrified.

In my childhood home, affection was a weakness to be exploited against you.

And I made sure there was as little to be discovered about me and Rita as possible.

"Esteban..." Rita's voice took on a devious note. "Come here," she purred, curling a finger.

He raised a brow as he stalked toward her. She sat on the edge of the desk and raised her thighs, spreading them. The movement forced her dress up and exposed her cloth covered pussy.

"Kneel."

He did, as she sucked on a finger, then pulled the gusset of her panties to the side to circle her clit.

I was one tense ball of anger and hate. "You don't have to do this to prove your point."

She glanced at me, never stopping as Esteban curled his large hands around her smooth thighs, leaving kisses on the inside of her leg. He made sure to stay out of the way of the show.

He knew how fucked this was for me, how much I hated it and he followed along.

"But I want to." She faux pouted.

This was the catty side of Rita I hated. That I loved and hated.

"I want a reaction and you need to see that I'm not the same woman. You turned me into this, and I enjoy it. I enjoy Esteban." She trailed one fingertip down his jaw. "Don't I?"

"Mm. We enjoy each other, baby." He angled his head to lick around where her finger still circled that tight bud of nerves. She moaned as she tipped her head back.

A thousand ants crawled under my skin as I now gripped my thighs so hard, I'd have bruises.

She opened her eyes and glanced at me with lust-filled eyes. Rita was actually getting off on this and fuck me, but my cock twitched.

"Shove two fingers inside," Esteban said in a low tone. Using his hold on her thighs, he pulled her out to the edge. "I want to see how well you fuck yourself."

Insecurities ran rampant inside me. I'd never talked like this to her. Was this what she wanted? Was it lacking with me?

Grinding my teeth so fucking hard, I pushed the thoughts out. Rita wanted this?

She was being a bitch trying to break things with us once and for all. No fucking way would I allow that. Rita wanted to fuck Esteban, I'd have to show her it didn't faze me.

She groaned, her hair falling over her shoulder as she rolled her head forward. Esteban suckled on that sweet nub as he played with her tits, working her over with a confidence I hadn't even known I should have expected from him.

A surge of competition rose inside me. I wanted nothing more than to smack him out of the way and make her scream from pleasure.

I bent forward, then stopped myself.

Rita snapped her eyes open and locked her gaze on me as if she knew what I was thinking.

"Tongue fuck me, Esteban. I'm close." She propped herself up on both hands as she leaned her head back. Her plush red lips parted as Esteban pulled the top of her dress down so one of her tits popped out. He pinched her nipple as he did exactly as she told him to.

He tongue fucked her.

The wet sounds were so obscene, my cock was diamond hard. Waves of blistering heat washed over my body and I struggled to pull in a breath.

Jesus Christ , this was the single hottest thing I'd ever witnessed in my life.

I didn’t want to see this. Without a doubt, this image would be burned into my nightmares, yet I couldn’t look away. And in that moment, it was all too clear this scene would headline in my fantasies too.

It was Rita. The woman was always gorgeous. But she was divine as Esteban worshiped at her feet. Or between her legs.

This was seven kinds of fucked. I shouldn’t be turned on by this. Yet, I was. Rita wanted to scare me away? She was only making me want to fuck her harder. To show her I could make her feel just as good.

Letting out a low mew, she started rocking her hips against his face.

"That's it. You're so close. You're doing so good, fucking yourself on me," Esteban mumbled before he started fucking her again. "Come for me, baby."

Biting her lip, her fingers flexed against the desktop and her back arched.

"Yes! I'm there, I'm fucking there. " She moaned so loud, it was the only sound that existed. Soon, it changed to gasps, and then sighs.

Breathing became non-existent for me as the intimacy of her coming became the beginning and the end of my being.

Esteban brought her down gently before placing a kiss on her mound. After Rita stopped moving, he stood, gathering her to his chest like she was his prized possession.

I should be holding her. She was mine. And in this moment, she was his too.

He turned to face me, his mouth and chin still glistening. "Did you like that?" His gaze dropped to my cock. "Fuck," he griped, a dour expression on his face. "You did."

Rita pulled her head back so she could see me. Immediately, she zeroed in on my cock and a soft gasp escaped her.

I knew what they saw. A man filled with so much embarrassment, because as much as I should have run when she started to fuck Esteban to spite me, I couldn't.

My brothers must have rubbed off on me.