8. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Gary

O ne week later, Gary was scribbling an example equation on the chalkboard at the front of the lecture hall when the room’s large wooden doors creaked behind him, causing him to pause mid-scrawl. For some reason, his silly brain had the nerve to hope that his slightly broody custodian friend had skipped work to visit him. Even though that was completely foolish, Gary still looked over his shoulder to see who it was. But it wasn’t Jeff. Only Mel, who was now taking a seat in the back row.

For the remainder of the class, Gary did his best to avoid catching her eye. Mel had a habit of trying to make him laugh while he was teaching. Geez, why wasn’t she back at the library where librarians belonged? Weren’t there books that needed shelving?

Once the lecture was over, Mel bounded toward the front of the classroom to see him.

“Hey, bozo, why’ve you been avoiding me?” she asked, pausing to smooth out the creases in her skirt. “If it’s because I teased you over the toilet paper you had stuck to your shoe the other week, that really isn’t fair. You can’t have a real-life sitcom-worthy blunder and not expect me to comment on it.”

“I am not avoiding you.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“I’m not!” Gary said before her narrowed gaze shattered his hopes of holding onto that lie. “Okay, I am avoiding you, but I have a perfectly valid reason for it. ”

“Which is?”

“Billy McCoy.”

“Oh God, what now?”

“I’ve kind of been talking to him every single night for the last three weeks. I’m so tired.” Gary started to pretend to yawn, but it turned into a real one. “Sorry. I mean, wow , I’d been tired before the two of us started chatting—you remember how upset I was about that silly photograph I found—and, well, even though I feel better now—emotionally, that is—I swear, I’ve barely been sleeping. It’s like I’m either talking to Jeff or... or thinking about him.”

Mel’s hands found her hips, and she leveled Gary a skeptical look. “Wait, you’ve been avoiding me because you’ve been staying up to talk on the phone with the surly custodian from the Eastwood Mall?”

“Yeah, well, I’ve kind of been forcing him to call me.”

“What do you mean?”

Gary hesitated, letting his gaze drift out around the now-empty lecture hall before returning to Mel. She stared at him impatiently, her expression eager. Of course. Truth time. Gary ran a hand through his hair and then explained, “So, every night, a couple of minutes before the end of my program, I’ve been intentionally sharing some... incorrect factoids. Just, you know, stuff I know Jeff would feel the need to correct me on.”

“Gary!”

Gary winced. “I know.”

“I’m so happy for you!”

“Now, see, that ”—Gary paused and pointed to Mel’s enormous smile before continuing—“is exactly why I’ve been staying away from you. You really shouldn’t be encouraging me.”

“It’s nice to see you happy.”

“But I’m not happy. Or, I mean, I am , but I shouldn’t be. I really, really like him, Mel. For real. Not... not like I’d liked the men I’d been with back in school. We’ve been talking so much and... he’s... well, I like him a lot. He’s perfect. Which means I’ll either end up with him or be rejected by him. And if I end up with him, I’ll smother him. So, either way, I’m setting myself up for heartbreak. Probably a healthy dose of humiliation too.”

Mel lightly smacked him on the chest with the back of her hand. “Stop that.”

“I need to force myself to take a step back somehow. Do you think you should cut my phone line?”

“Oh yeah, that’ll work,” Mel remarked, her voice thick with sarcasm.

“You’re right. It won’t. I’d bike right over to his house.”

“You’re making yourself sound like a stalker.”

“Did you miss the part where I’m purposefully misleading my very trusting listeners so that Jeff will keep calling me?”

“Just tell him you want him to call you,” Mel said, her voice softer and kinder and much more sincere now. “Like a normal person.”

Gary huffed a small laugh. “I’ve never been normal.”

“Terrible courting practices aside, I’m proud of you, Gare. It’s really brave of you to finally let yourself like someone. You’re putting yourself out there.” Mel placed a hand on her hip and said, “Even if you are doing it in a really stupid way.”

“Thanks. I think.” Gary looked at his watch. “I have to bike back home soon, but I think I have time for a cup of coffee. Do you want one? I’m sure you have a couple more Ken stories for me. I’d love to listen.”

Mel’s smile broadened. “Yeah, sure.”

So, Mel and Gary left for the student center and each had a cup of coffee while they chatted and caught each other up with everything that had been going on since they’d talked last. The whole time, Gary couldn’t stop himself from thinking about Jeff .

And later, as Gary was biking home, he was still thinking about Jeff, only now he was trying to wrestle with the notion that he probably should try to cut back on the time they spent chatting on the phone. Not only was he setting himself up to have his heart shattered, but he was also running himself ragged.

Gary knew he had way too much on his plate. Or maybe he had too many plates overall. Something had to change. Even the most seasoned middle-aged truck stop waitress wouldn’t have been able to balance so many plates without something toppling over.

While Gary was still lost in thought, he turned onto his street, and, lo and behold, Jeff was waiting for him in the driveway, leaning against his beautiful blue Cadillac and looking so incredibly cool. Cool enough to send shivers up Gary’s spine. Cooler than ice. Cooler than absolute zero. Yes, Jeff was cooler than was theoretically possible. Geez, someone ought to tell him that he had no right breaking the laws of nature like that. But Gary was not about to be that person.

“Hey, Billy Boy,” Gary called as he pedaled closer, trying to sound cool too, but probably sounding silly instead.

Which Jeff basically confirmed with the way he simply cocked an eyebrow in response. Way to be, Gare! Gary slowed his bike to a stop.

“So, what brings you to the Chateau de Graham?” he asked.

Wow, that was somehow even sillier, wasn’t it?

“I thought I’d watch your show.”

Gary shook his head, flabbergasted and stunned, as a little blip of confused excitement zipped through his veins, making his heart flutter with hope. “You... what?”

Jeff shifted his weight from one foot to the other, now looking uncomfortable.

“Or, uh, I can leave if—”

“You want to watch me run the radio show?” Gary blurted out, cutting him off.

“Yes?”

“Wow!” Just like that, every bit of worry Gary had about his limited time and fragile heart vanished completely. “I’d love that!”

“Yeah?”

Gary unclipped his helmet. “Yeah!”

Now Jeff was smiling one of those perfect smiles of his, one that made Gary feel weak in the knees. Thank God for the bicycle seat beneath him.

Unable to even try to feign nonchalance, Gary exclaimed, “I’m touched! Thrilled, even! Let me put the bike away, and then I’ll show you how I set everything up. I need to inhale some food first, though. I hope vegetable burgers are okay.”

“Vegetable... burgers,” Jeff repeated, his tone suggesting he was completely flummoxed by the notion.

Gary hopped off his bike. “Yeah, I know, but trust me, you’ll love ’em.”

Once they were inside, Gary started cooking a couple of vegetable burger patties in a pan while Jeff watched nearby. Leaning against the wall. Always with the sexy leaning. Boy, Gary’d probably never be used to that, even if he and Jeff saw more of each other in person.

When the burgers were close to ready, Gary took out the ketchup and mustard from the refrigerator, but then Jeff nudged him aside and reached for the mayo. Interesting choice. Jeff clearly had some kind of affinity for the stuff. No wonder he had been borderline offended by Gary’s version of potato salad.

After they were sitting across from one another, Gary waited as Jeff took a bite. He chewed a few times, and Gary thought he looked... confused, maybe, but not disgusted.

“What’s the verdict?” Gary asked .

Jeff held up a hand and rocked it back and forth.

Gary smiled. “I’ll take it,” he said with a pleased nod.

After several more bites, Jeff said, “It’s not bad, really. Goes well with the mayo.”

“I’ve never had it with mayo myself. Looks tasty, though.”

“Here,” Jeff said, holding out the burger. “Try it.”

Gary froze. Were they somehow close enough to share food already? If so, when did that happen? Did Jeff like him? Did Jeff offering a burger mean something? Gary couldn’t manage to make himself take the burger, but he couldn’t make himself refuse either. It was just so nice of Jeff to offer.

“Uhm...” Jeff waved the burger back and forth. “Hello?”

Jesus, Gare, it’s a burger, not a marriage proposal!

“Sorry, wow, yeah, I’ll try it,” Gary said, forcing himself to take the burger from Jeff’s outstretched hand. He tried a bite, but with his lingering embarrassment over having frozen in fear from being offered a burger, he couldn’t really taste the mayo. Still, he knew he’d better say something. “Yum-o!”

Yum-o?! Gosh, what a nincompoop he was.

Gary handed the burger back to Jeff who was looking at him funny—the corner of his mouth upturned to form a half-smile, his brows knitted together like he was slightly concerned with the health of Gary’s obviously faulty brain.

“Sorry,” Gary said. “I think I’m still kind of shocked that you wanted to see me perform.”

“Why? It’s a radio show.”

“Wait, a radio show ? Here I thought you wanted to watch me read Shakespeare.”

Even though that had Jeff rolling his eyes like he thought Gary had lost his marbles, he still chuckled a little. “I meant that not many people have the chance to see a live radio show.”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true. ”

With only a few minutes left before the show, Gary had to scarf down the rest of his burger, and then he scribbled some talking points while Jeff finished eating. While Gary was busy looking through his wall of records to pick a couple of albums in the studio room, he heard the sound of running water from the kitchen, and it took a moment for him to realize that Jeff was washing the dishes. Which was really very sweet.

When Jeff eventually came into the studio room, Gary swiveled to face him and said, “Wow, Jeff the Janitor, cleaning my humble home in your spare time, huh?”

Jeff blew out a breath. “Put a sock in it, radio man. Where should I sit?”

“Just on the love seat. I’ll barely even notice you over there.”

Not true in the slightest. Gary’d be fixating on Jeff the entire time, no matter where in the room he was. Heck, even if Jeff left for home at this point, Gary’d be thinking about him for the entirety of the show regardless.

Jeff proceeded to lie back and throw his feet up on one of the cushions.

“Well, you look cozy,” Gary remarked.

“Yup. Dazzle me,” Jeff replied with a small smirk.

Gary’s heart spasmed and fluttered, and the sudden swell of nervousness forced him to look away, but his blush lingered as he fiddled with the knobs on the control board. Seeing Jeff on the couch like that—gosh, he couldn’t have possibly looked cuter if he tried.

Just before the start of the program, Gary caught Jeff’s eye, and Jeff threw him a wink. Gary’s stomach tumbled like he’d stepped onto one of those whirly carnival slides.

Thankfully, the show went well enough, though. Over the course of the few hours the show had run, there had been a couple of times when Gary had looked over at Jeff only to see him smirking in a sexy sort of way (which was terrible for focusing). But otherwise, everything had been okay. So okay that, by the end, Gary was no longer feeling seasick in Jeff’s presence.

As soon as Gary finished shutting off the equipment, he made his way over to the love seat, and Jeff made room by curling up his legs.

“Are you successfully dazzled?” Gary asked with a grin, sitting next to him.

“Yeah, I am,” Jeff said. “Seems tiring.”

“Boy, is it ever,” Gary answered. “I’m bushed.”

Sitting up, Jeff said, “I should probably head home then.”

Gary frowned. Dang. He wanted them to spend some more time together, no matter how exhausted he was. Maybe Jeff could stay for... Hm... There had to be something.

“Hey, uh, I think I’m starting to have a second wind. Do you want some...” Gary racked his brain to think of something he could offer. The answer popped into his head after just a second, and he snapped his fingers. “Ice cream! How about some ice cream?”

Jeff pursed his lips, thinking, and for a moment, Gary’s stomach sank as he worried Jeff might say no. But Jeff just tilted his head and said, “Maybe. What kind?”

“Neapolitan minus chocolate.”

“Of course you finished the best flavor.”

“ Vanilla is the best flavor,” Gary corrected, his tension melting faster than a scoop of Ben & Jerry’s on a hot summer day.

“Why’d you finish the chocolate first then?”

“It wasn’t me ! It was Mel!” When Gary saw Jeff’s eyes flit over to the door, he realized that he needed to nudge him some more. “Come on, Jeffrey, have some vanilla ice cream with me. It’s exotic.”

Jeff smirked. “No, it’s not. ”

“Yes, it is. Or, was . People thought vanilla was exotic for centuries.”

“So?”

Gary sighed. “Just, look, when you eat it, close your eyes and relish the simplicity of it. I promise you’ll have a higher appreciation for the stuff when you really take time to savor it.”

Feigning confidence in Jeff staying, Gary started toward the kitchen, and to his relief, Jeff followed. Thank God! More time together!

“Everything is food with you,” Jeff said in a slightly teasing tone as they rounded the corner into the kitchen.

“Pretty much.” He took the ice cream tub out of the freezer and set it on the counter. Then he found two spoons and handed one to Jeff. “Now, remember: savor .”

With a roll of his eyes, Jeff scooped up a spoonful. He took his time eating it and then went in for a second spoonful.

“It’s...” Jeff took a third bite. “Yeah, I like it. I mean, it’s vanilla.”

“Better than you remember, huh?”

Instead of responding, Jeff went for another scoop.

“Huh?” Gary said, verbally nudging him.

Jeff really nudged him. With his elbow. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Gloating.”

“Oh, let me have some fun. I’m converting someone from chocolate ice cream to vanilla. That’s no small feat.”

“Uh-huh,” Jeff said, scooping up some more ice cream, clearly unable to resist both a smile and some more ice cream.

“Good ol’ vanilla,” Gary teased before eating a bite himself. He set the spoon back on the counter. “It may look plain or, heck, boring even, but take two seconds to really sit with the flavor, and bam!” Gary clapped his hands together. “You see that it isn’t plain or boring in the least.”

By now, Jeff was practically beaming, and, wow, what a rare sight that was. If only Gary could somehow save Jeff’s million-watt smile so that he could see it whenever he wanted. But he’d never be able to keep such a thing, not even if he’d been able to take a photograph that very instant. Because Jeff’s smile had an energy to it, one that Gary knew couldn’t be sufficiently captured by a roll of film.

For the next few minutes, they stood next to each other in the kitchen, eating spoonful after spoonful of ice cream, both of them smiling like they had maybe lost their minds.

When they had nearly finished the entire stripe of vanilla, Gary noticed that Jeff’s hand had come to rest on the counter close to his own. He really wanted to hold it. Even though Gary couldn’t be sure Jeff liked him like that, the two of them had been becoming closer over the last few weeks. Earlier that evening, Jeff had shared his burger. And, heck, he had come over unannounced to watch Gary do his radio show in the first place. Maybe there was something there. Maybe...

Taking a breath, Gary shifted his hand to cover Jeff’s. Before Gary could even recover from the thrill of it—the feeling that one thousand volts of electricity had been sent surging through his veins—Jeff’s head snapped up to meet Gary’s eyes, and the expression he had wasn’t happiness or excitement or the playful sort of nervousness one might expect if someone you liked was trying to hold your hand. Instead, it was fear. Quickly, Gary pulled his hand away. His stomach plummeted to the floor.

“Sorry, I—”

“No.” Jeff took a step backward, pausing to swallow. “It’s late. I need to...”

“Yeah, of course,” Gary blurted out. “Go ahead. I’ll talk to you... some other time.”

Or never, probably.

Jeff set his spoon down in the sink and then turned and left while Gary stayed in the kitchen, regret still sitting heavy in his stomach and fixing him to the spot like an iron shackle. After a while, Gary finally mustered up the will to put the rest of the ice cream away, and then he started toward his bedroom.

Cheese and crackers, he had really screwed up.

***

The next evening, Gary’s stomach was churning unpleasantly as he wrapped up the end of Tell Me S’more . Normally, he’d have been excited—practically bursting out of his skin, really—because he’d be preparing to sputter some tiny white lie over the mic—some incorrect factoid conveniently related to something he and Jeff had previously discussed—in order to playfully bait Jeff into calling him. But Jeff wouldn’t ever call him anymore, he was sure of it. Gary could have kicked himself for his behavior. Why had he made the stupid assumption that Jeff had been into him? Poor Jeff had obviously only wanted to be his friend. And, in typical-Gary fashion, he’d now mucked everything up.

Heart heavy, Gary started for the bedroom, his muscles sore and tired from not having slept much the previous night, and the moment he turned the knob, the phone began to ring. He froze there, unable to move for a moment, each ring hitting him like a slap in the face. Because it should have been Jeff calling. It was probably Mel instead .

With a sigh, Gary returned to the studio to pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, radio man,” Jeff said from the other end of the line.

Gary’s eyes flew open wide. “Jeff?!”

“Yes?”

Gary looked at the clock. Eleven.

“Did you forget something here yesterday or... why are you calling?”

“Uh, I call every night.”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Should I . . . not call anymore?”

“ Of course you should! If you want to, that is.”

“Yeah, I still want to.”

Every bit of Gary’s lingering nausea vanished.

“Okay. Yeah. Good.” Gary twisted the phone cord around his index finger a few times. “I’m sorry for the hand thing.”

“Don’t be.”

“If I made you uncomfortable—”

“Yeah,” Jeff interrupted. “But not... not for the reason you think. Probably.”

Gary’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh?”

“I like you.”

Tentatively, Gary’s lips began to curl into a small, uncertain smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow!” Gary’s stomach fluttered, his breath catching in his throat. Holy moly! Had he really not messed everything up? It seemed impossible.

Seconds passed, and Gary was still too stunned to speak. Instead, he just stood there twisting and twirling the phone cord while smiling to himself like a weirdo .

Finally, Jeff said, “I think this is when you tell me that you like me too.”

“Geez, sorry. Yeah, of course I like you too,” Gary blurted out. “I mean, obviously.”

Jeff huffed a soft laugh. “Obviously.”

Gary could hear Jeff’s tiny, cute smile, and he could picture it too—full of amusement and silliness. And oozing that coolness that was just so... Jeff. Gosh, how wonderful! His whole body caught fire with a tender warmth, the knowledge that they liked each other heating him up from the inside, making his skin flush and his ears turn hot. Within seconds, Gary’s cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much. Holy cow, Jeff liked him!

“But, uh...” Jeff started to say, and Gary’s smile faltered as the fiery excitement that had been growing in him was suddenly snuffed out entirely. Shoot. “I can’t be in a relationship.”

“Oh.”

Seconds of horrible, soul-crushing silence followed.

“I know that’s not what you wanted to hear,” Jeff said.

“No, no, it’s okay,” Gary said, though he wasn’t really sure that it was okay. Dammit, he really liked Jeff.

Jeff cleared his throat and said, “Do you... still want to talk?”

Raking a hand through his hair, Gary sat back and blew out a breath. Of course he still wanted to talk, but now that he knew that he and Jeff liked each other, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep himself from overanalyzing every single thing that happened between them. God, he’d probably torture himself wondering whether Jeff would ever be ready for a relationship.

Yet the embers from their earlier exchange still flickered with lingering heat, and their warmth spread through Gary’s body, making him burn with longing. He really, really liked Jeff. Romantically, yes, but he liked him as a friend too. Jeff was... well, he was just wonderful. Maybe for most people, this kind of situation wouldn’t have posed such a problem, but Gary knew himself. He knew how much pining he’d be setting himself up for if they stayed friends. Especially if “friends” really meant “men who like each other but can’t be together for some mysterious reason.”

But even with that knowledge, those embers continued to burn.

Jeff’s voice cut through Gary’s thoughts. “Hello?”

“Sorry. I was thinking.” Gary set his glasses on the desk and rubbed his eyes. “I mean, of course I still want to talk to you. Just...”

“What?”

“Jeff, I really like you.”

“Did you miss the part when I said I liked you too?”

“No, but—”

“It’s not like I’m interested in anyone else.”

“Okay, but... look, I know it’s none of my business, but if you like me—”

“Gare, it’s complicated.”

Gary’s face burned with some silly mixture of sadness and shame. What the heck was the problem here, then? Did Jeff think that Gary was too weird for him? Maybe Jeff knew he’d be embarrassed if the two of them ever became a thing? After all, Jeff was John Bender, and Gary was...

Gary caught sight of himself in the window and frowned at his blurry reflection.

He was pretty much the opposite.

“Can you, uhm, explain it?” Gary asked.

“I . . . can’t.”

Shit.

Silence stretched on and on, but Gary couldn’t make himself come up with anything else to say. His mind was muddled with confusion. Disappointment, too .

“Gare,” Jeff said, “I like you.”

“Okay,” Gary said, though his voice sounded small, and oh, how he hated it.

“I think about you all the time,” Jeff said. “Every night.”

Well, that was sweet.

“Yeah?”

Because Gary thought about Jeff a heck of a lot too. Still, Gary couldn’t seem to recover from the sting of rejection, which was still making his face burn.

“If you want, Gare, I could show you how much I like you,” Jeff said, a sudden playfulness in his voice.

“What do you me—”

Gary was interrupted by the sudden, unmistakable jingle of a belt buckle, and he nearly choked on his own spittle. God Almighty! Reeling, Gary almost dropped the phone, fumbling with it pathetically for a split second before ultimately managing to catch it. Struggling to find the right words, Gary took a pause to close the blinds and tried to calm himself enough to speak.

Finally, though still not really calm, he managed to splutter, “Whoa, shit, Jeff!”

“Didn’t I say that I think about you every night?” Jeff said, an obvious tease in his voice.

“Yeah, uhm, yeah.” Huffing a nervous laugh, Gary raked his free hand through his hair. “Should I... uhm... should I take mine off too?”

“Depends. Do you normally like to come in your pants?”

“Jesus! Uh, no. Okay, so, hold on.” Gary set the receiver on the table and ran into the bedroom to find a bottle of lotion, tripping over his own two feet once on the way. As soon as he returned, he hurried to push his khakis to his knees, the slight shake of his hands causing him trouble with the button first, and then picked up the receiver. “Okay. Ready. ”

Gary’s heart was beating hard and fast, practically slamming into his rib cage with each pulse. He’d never had phone sex with someone before!

“Do you think about me too?” Jeff asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Gary said. “All the time. Anal stuff, mostly. Uhm.”

Was that okay to say? Shoot. Probably too fast?

But Jeff didn’t hesitate. “Yeah?” he said, sounding surprisingly pleased with this information, rather than offended, which had Gary breathing a small sigh of relief. “Do you like to top or—”

“Uhm, bottom, typically,” Gary said, squirting some lotion into his palm and saying a silent prayer that he could move past his nervousness enough for this whole thing to work. It’d be a special kind of humiliating for Jeff to make himself come while Gary could only sit there trying to convince his penis to cooperate. He took his semi-flaccid cock into his hand. “What... uh... what about you?”

“I’d love to fuck you, Gare.”

“Whoa.” That was more spicy and blunt than Gary had expected, and he momentarily stopped moving his hand on his cock to let himself mentally recover. “Wow.”

Chuckling, Jeff said, “Radio man, are you nervous?”

“Uh, yeah,” Gary said, exhaling a shaky breath. “How’d you know?”

“I think your voice is like two octaves higher.”

“Sorry.”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No!” Gary sputtered. “God, no. Just, you know, I haven’t been with anyone in a really long time. And never, you know, on the phone.”

“No?”

“No.” Gary winced at his own inexperience. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be scared. It’s me. ”

Yeah, only the coolest, sexiest man I’ve ever met in my whole life , Gary wanted to say. Instead, he muttered something like “Yeah. Right.” And it sounded sarcastic, which wasn’t at all what he had intended.

“Why are you nervous?” Jeff asked.

“I’m not sure. I think I’m having trouble believing this is real.”

“What, that we have the technology to masturbate together when we’re several streets apart? Hate to break it to you, Gare, but Alexander Graham Bell was probably having phone sex too.”

“Now I very much doubt that, but I’m not about to hobble through my house with my pants around my ankles to check my encyclopedia.”

Jeff snorted. “Do you have X-rated encyclopedias or something?”

“No!”

“So, see, you can’t even prove me wrong.”

“Alexander Graham Bell was not having—”

Jeff’s suddenly slightly-high-pitched voice came through the line. “Ooooh, Martha. Just like that.”

“Martha?”

“What? Wasn’t every woman Martha back then?”

Gary smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. Or Mary.”

“Right, so—”

“Great. Now I won’t be able to stop trying to remember his wife’s name.”

“Radio man, let it be.”

“Are you quoting the Beatles?”

“What?”

“Don’t tell me you aren’t familiar with the song,” Gary argued.

“I think we’ve strayed from the topic. Which was phone sex.”

Gary let out a sigh, and this time the heat in his cheeks was more from awkwardness than anything else. “Jeff, I... look, okay, this is embarrassing, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to believe that you like me enough for me to... successfully complete the mission tonight.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re not here with me.”

“So?”

“Masturbating seems . . . private.”

“Come on. Try it with me.”

Nervousness and longing and self-doubt all mixed together and twisted inside of him, and Gary wasn’t able to stop himself before the next words tumbled out of his mouth.

“Can’t you come over instead?”

Geeeeez. What the heck was wrong with him? Needy, needy, needy.

“Radio man, I’d love to. Really. But . . .”

“We can keep it casual?” Gary offered, though he hated himself for it.

Why on earth was he like this? Jeff had rejected him once. Why was he begging for more heartbreak?

Jeff let out a long sigh. “Ugh, Gare, my problem with relationships... it’s... Look, we can have phone sex because I can hang up on you.”

Several seconds passed before that strange statement registered in Gary’s brain. Once it had, he sputtered a laugh, partially because he was still so nervous and partially because, wow, that was not something he had expected Jeff to say.

“Sorry, I know laughing was probably the wrong reaction,” Gary said. “But you have to admit, that sounds a little... mean, maybe, or... I can’t even think of the word. We can have phone sex because you can hang up on me? ”

“Yeah, okay, I sound like an asshole,” Jeff said, now laughing a little himself. “Ugh, fuck. I’m trying to say that... that it helps that you’re far away, that you’re not the one touching me.”

Gary’s stomach seized, the implication of Jeff’s words like a swift punch to his torso. You’re not the one touching me. Those words, they reminded him of how Mel had sounded, of similar words she’d said after her college boyfriend had forced himself on her, and now, even though Gary’s first instinct was to bombard Jeff with a whole bunch of likely-way-too-intrusive questions, he knew that it wasn’t his place to push Jeff to say more. Still, Gary’s mind started conjuring up all sorts of possibilities to explain what Jeff had meant, and every single one of them was horrible, so horrible, in fact, that Gary’s eyes were starting to water. And that was even more humiliating than his earlier admission. He wasn’t supposed to be the one who was upset. Why couldn’t his body react properly to anything tonight?

The long silence must have tipped Jeff off because he cleared his throat quietly and then said, “I’m okay, Gare.”

Geez, Jeff probably thought he was such a weirdo for being so emotional.

“Jeff...” Gary swallowed against the lump in his throat, unable to think of what to say. Maybe something to show that he was... that he was a safe person to talk to? Something sympathetic? “I’m so sorr—”

“Don’t. Please.”

“Okay,” Gary said, cringing, self-reproach turning his face hot. Again. Apparently, offering sympathy had not been the right move. Not that he had any idea what the right move was, or how they were supposed to get back to where they had been earlier—teasing and laughing and about to —

“Gare, can you not pity me while I’m sitting here stroking my cock?” Jeff said. “I like you, and I want to have fun with you. Can we keep the focus on that?”

“Uhm, yeah.” Gary took a breath, telling himself to pull it together. “So, Jeff, earlier, you mentioned that you’d—”

“Fuck you?”

Desire flickered to life inside of him, but it wasn’t yet enough to move forward with their mutual masturbation session. Closing his eyes, Gary took a pause, trying to conjure up one of his recent fantasies. Within seconds, he started to relax, his cock finally stiffening. Thank God.

“Yeah?” Gary began to touch himself, moving his hand up his length in slow, languid strokes. “I, uh, I like to imagine you on top of me. Or behind me.”

Jeff laughed this cute-as-heck little laugh then and said, “Which would you want first?”

“God, Jeff, whatever you’d want.”

Gary started moving his hand a little faster. He’d let Jeff take him in any position.

With a low, throaty moan, Jeff said, “I’ve been thinking about you for weeks. Actually, before I even knew what you looked like, I’d thought about you a couple of times.”

Gary slowed his strokes. “What do you mean?”

“Silly radio shows.”

“Ah, so, my shows are silly?”

“Very silly,” Jeff said. He let out a groan, and the sound went straight to Gary’s cock, making it throb and twitch. Okay, now he was plenty hard. Jeff continued. “But I love that voice of yours.”

“Geez, Jeff, you’re so sexy,” Gary said, pumping his fist. “Silly radio shows. See, I feel so inadequate next to you.”

“No, you’re not,” Jeff said. “You’re”—another sexy grunt—“hot, Gary. I hate how hot you are. Christ, you’re a math teacher. But still so fucking hot.”

Jeff let out a soft moan. Oh, what a sound that was.

Gary’s breath shook when he spoke, his pleasure climbing, the heat of arousal coursing beneath his skin, threatening to make him come. “What else would we... uhm...”

“Do you like being fingered?” Jeff asked.

“Uh, yeah. A lot.” Gary moved his hand faster, closing his eyes as thoughts of Jeff’s fingers moving inside of him sent a rush of ecstasy through his veins. “I’ve been wanting that. From you.”

“If I could, I’d pleasure you like that—pump my fingers in and out of your tight little hole to make you come—and then I’d kiss you and touch you and rub on you until you were hard again, and then , God, Gare, I’d make you come a second time.” Holy heck. Gary never thought he’d hear Jeff say such filthy words. “I'd want to see how many times I could make you come. Even if you thought your cock was too sensitive to take even one more second of pleasure, I’d take you into my mouth and make you come again.”

Gary’s heart was hammering in his chest, his fist moving fast.

“Jeff . . . I’m so close . . .”

“Fuck, how I’ve wanted to hear you say that,” Jeff rasped. “Say it again, Gary Graham. Tell me how close you are.”

“I’m close. Really close,” Gary said, working himself as well as he could, his hard cock practically aching as he teetered on the precipice.

And then Jeff said, “Gare, I’m coming.”

Gary’s whole world fell apart as he, too, came over his fist, his muscles shaking slightly from the release. He sat there, breathing hard, stunned that he had masturbated over the phone with the sexy custodian he’d been fantasizing about every single night for weeks.

Jeff’s low chuckle came through the phone line. “Did you come too, radio man?” Jeff asked.

“Yeah,” Gary said, letting out a long breath.

Jeff hummed, and that hum had to be one of the world’s sexiest sounds. “Good.”

Gary was still processing it when he tried to speak again.

“Jeff, I . . . wow .”

“It’s late. I’ll call you tomorrow night. If you want.”

“Do I need to continue to tarnish my reputation by spreading incorrect nonsense on my program first?”

“No. I’ll call.”

Grinning like a fool, Gary shifted in his seat, excitement buzzing through him. Gosh, he could barely sit still.

“Okay,” he said, and he cleared his throat. “I, uh, I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too.”

“Goodnight, then, Jeff. Jeffrey. Sleep well.”

“Night.”

Gary hung up. And for the next couple of minutes, he just stared at the phone, trying to make sense of what had happened.