Chapter 36

Idon’t have a lot of belongings.

Actually, I have nothing but the clothes on my back, and even they don’t belong to me.

Once a thief, always a thief.

Nobody notices me as I stand near the back of the throne room, counting the number of cans we decided to bring with us on our trip.

Inventory. That’s all I’m good for, apparently. But I find that I don’t give a damn if I’m the group’s whipping boy, their little bitch. As long as it gets me out of this prison once and for all.

As long as I can stay with her.

Nothing matters anymore except that. Not what I was supposed to do when I was sent to this prison. Not what I should do. Only her. If I were a religious man, I would think she was sent here by God himself to free me from my past, from the chains that bind me.

But I’m not. And if a higher power does exist, he surely doesn’t give a fuck about me.

My feelings for her…

They’re unnatural.

One second, we were strangers, and the next, I wanted to worship at her feet, a humbled man bowing to his queen.

It’s almost as if she’s my fated mate, which is completely ridiculous. Laughable even.

A girl like her? The universe would never choose a man as fucked up as me to be her mate. And despite the tugging in my chest drawing me to her, I don’t dare look and see if the sensation I feel is a mate bond.

Because if it isn’t, if I discover she truly isn’t meant to be mine, then I would give up. What’s the fucking point when the one thing I want can never belong to me? Despite my wistful fantasies, I know in the darkest recesses of my heart that she can never be mine.

But maybe…

Maybe I can be hers.

I will my eyes not to flicker towards her face, though it’s damn hard. It takes every ounce of self-control I possess to keep my gaze on the worn backpacks, even though I can sense her presence. It’s…like sunlight. No, maybe sunlight is the wrong descriptor for Nina Doe. It’s moonlight, pure and simple. The type of moonlight that bathes a starless night with rays of silvery white, disrupting the darkness we’ve grown accustomed to. Maybe living in the shadows isn’t the worst fate a person can have, if it means having someone like Nina.

Bitterness engulfs me when I remember that I don’t have her. She doesn’t even know I exist. But why would she, when she has six doting mates following her around like besotted puppies? And what good am I to her anyway?

I’m just a pretty face whose entire life is made up of secrets and lies. A wet dream on the outside, a monster on the inside.

Once a liar, always a liar.

“We only get one chance to do this,” I hear Bronson say from behind me, his gruff voice more wolf than man. I pause in my counting to listen intently to their conversation. “If we attempt this and fail, the entire Labyrinth will know. It’ll be nearly impossible for us to regain our power, even with Braelyn backing us. And if the warden or the guards discover the truth…”

“We’ll make it,” Kai snaps, though when I twist my head slightly to peer at his face, I see the skin under his eyes lined violet with exhaustion. “You wanted us to leave, Bron. Don’t you forget that.”

“And I do,” Bronson insists. “You know that. But I just…” He releases a heavy sigh, and I imagine he’s running a hand through his blond hair. It’s something he always seems to do when he’s stressed or anxious.

There are benefits to being a social pariah, virtually ignored unless they’re in need of you. You notice things and behaviors. Develop the ability to read people.

“We’ll protect Nina and our baby,” Kai assures his friend softly, their voices moving across the throne room as they prepare for the journey.

Baby.

My heart skips a beat at the thought of Nina with child. I don’t know why—she’s not my…anything, and I’ll have no spot in that child’s life. I’ll be lucky if the guys don’t sacrifice me to ensure Nina’s survival.

Though maybe I wouldn’t mind being a delicious, bite-sized human sacrifice. Not if it meant keeping Nina and that kid safe.

A surge of protectiveness and possessiveness rushes through me, my veins alight with white-hot fire. I quickly tamp down those ridiculous emotions before I turn into a Gollum version of Bronson, hiding Nina in the corner of the room and baring my teeth while murmuring, “My precious.”

“Hey,” a gentle voice says from over my shoulder, and my damn, traitorous heart flatlines before picking up speed with a ruthless vengeance. I don’t want to look at her, I truly, honest to God don’t, but I find myself turning anyway, my pulse skittering pathetically, too enamored with having her near.

Nina smiles at me, all smooth curves and gentle edges compared to my straight lines and brutal cuts.

Maybe that’s why I’m so attracted to her—because she’s so inherently good. I never detect any malice in her voice or any ulterior motives in her actions. There’s no deceit in what she says, and that’s rare in most people. As a cupid, I’m capable of sensing bonds of love and lust between individuals, but I’ve never seen a love as pure as Nina’s. I suppose on a color scale, you could think of the bonds to be some combination of black and white. The love that is tainted by abuse or scandal or cheating is as dark as pitch, thrumming erratically and violently like a live wire that’s been cut and is now whipping around and sparking at everyone who comes too close. This dark bond makes people jaded to love.

And then there’s Nina’s love. So pure. So brilliant. So…clean. There’s no bitterness or jealousy or fear. She trusts her men implicitly to protect and love her until the day she dies, and their responding feelings are the same.

I’m man enough to admit that I’m jealous. I want that with someone, a love so strong and fierce that it’s unlike anything the world has ever seen before. Correction—I want that with her. But I can’t, not with the secrets burying me beneath layers of concrete and sand.

The muscles in my shoulders are so tense, they physically spasm, and I distractedly scratch the nape of my neck, avoiding eye contact once more. Not that it makes a fucking difference, considering she’s blind. Though if she decided to travel into my head, I’ll be damned if she notices how intently I watch her.

“You know that we’re grateful you decided to come with us,” Nina begins in that sweet, soft voice that never fails to make my dick hard.

Would it be horribly inappropriate if I began to talk to it, warning it to calm the fuck down? My cock, I mean.

I huff out a dry, humorless laugh. “It’s not like I have much of a choice, princess,” I say, the endearment slipping from my tongue before I can stop it. Fuck. There’s a reason I’ve been calling her Nina Doe, and it isn’t because I particularly enjoy her made up last name. No, I need to start distancing myself from her. Reminding myself that these feelings…they’re one-sided. The sooner I can vanquish them, the happier we both will be.

And maybe feeling indifference towards her will assuage the guilt that rises within me.

Unable to look too closely at the plethora of emotions churning in my stomach, I turn away from her and give her my back.

But she’s not one to be deterred.

When her hand rests on my arm, I jump, trying to ignore the heat that migrates from her palm across my bare skin. I try for a smile she can’t see, but my skin is tingling in the worst way, like electricity is trapped in my veins and I’m being burned alive. How can a simple touch do that to me? Unravel me so effortlessly? “Seriously, Logan. Thank you. I know that it isn’t safe?—”

“I want to get out of this prison just as much as you do.” My tone is acerbic, almost bitter, but I don’t pull my eyes away from the cans to see if it hurts her. “Leaving has nothing to do with you.”

It has everything to do with you.

Her hand slides from my arm, and I immediately want to take the words back, want to shove them back into my throat and swallow them whole. But I don’t. I can’t. Not after?—

Not after what I did. What I plan to do.

When Nina releases a heavy sigh and begins to walk away, I feel a piece of my heart shatter and crumble into dust. I know that I’ll never get that tiny piece back, and a part of me doesn’t want to. I deserve to bleed, to make peace with the darkness.

“Braelyn!” Nina exclaims abruptly, and I turn away from the cans just in time to see her embrace a short girl with light brown hair. A second girl stands beside the first, her shy eyes flickering from face to face without sticking on one person in particular. Braelyn and Jenny. I’ve seen them around the prison before, and of course I know who they are, but I haven’t been formally introduced.

I mean, why would anyone introduce the stupid cupid? I’m nothing to these people. Just a means to an end.

But if their end correlates with my own…

“I’m so sorry,” Nina chokes out as she tightens her grip on her friend. Braelyn shushes her and begins to stroke her hair like a mother would a child. “You’ve been such a good friend?—”

“None of that,” Braelyn reprimands, finally pulling away enough to stare Nina down. “You’re not leaving us behind, Nina. We’re choosing to stay.” Braelyn releases Nina to grasp Jenny’s hand, squeezing in a show of solidarity. Her eyes are sad, though, when she faces Nina once more. “The Labyrinth is the only home we’ve ever known. I don’t think I could survive out there in the real world. I’m too…hard. I rely on bloodshed. I like it here, Nina. We like it here.” Braelyn turns her soft glance onto Jenny, gently smoothing away a wayward strand of hair. Jenny offers her a smile of her own, and I can see the bright bond between them. Their pure love for one another.

“But—” Nina begins, and Braelyn cuts her off.

“They asked us if we wanted to go with them,” she admits, turning towards first Kai and then Rion. The latter stands with the twins, his features uncharacteristically grave as he stares at his second-in-command and friend. “But we both agreed it’s not worth it. I don’t want to risk our lives on a ‘maybe,’ Nina.” She smiles to take the sting out of her words. “But if anyone is capable of doing the impossible, it’s you, my dear friend. You’ve managed to unite the gangs in prison. You became the fucking queen. So I’m asking you to leave me, to not feel any guilt, and find a life for yourself and your men. If anyone in this godforsaken place deserves it, it’s you.”

Tears stream down Nina’s face as she grips Braelyn’s hands. “You’ve been such a good friend, Braelyn. I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too.” Braelyn sniffles and scowls, as if she’s holding back tears and is pissed because of that. “But don’t worry about me and Jenny. Hell, don’t worry about Rebecca or Haley either. You know we’ll protect them.”

At that, Kai’s face distorts into a scowl, though he clears it before anyone can notice.

What the fuck was that about?

“I know you will.” Nina gives Braelyn another squeeze, just as Kai slips out the side door. I watch him go with furrowed brows before I focus on Nina once more. “I love you, Braelyn. Forever and always.”

“Forever and always.” Braelyn steps away and begins to wipe desperately at her eyes, just as Nina embraces Jenny as well, whispering something in her ear too low for me to hear.

I’m struck again by this woman’s kindness. By her ability to see past a person’s sins to the soul underneath.

Feelings like I’ve never felt before burst to life inside of me, feeling unbelievably warm and toasty.

But these feelings? They can’t exist. I can’t allow them to.

Cupids are meant to sense love, not be in love.

The sooner I get out of here, the sooner I can forget about Nina Doe once and for all.