27. Wes

TWENTY-SEVEN

I've always beenconfident in all the ways that matter. Ever since I was a kid, I've had this unwavering sense of confidence, and I have no fucking clue where I got it from. I think I just woke up one day and decided that I had nothing to be afraid of and that I was just a genuinely likable person. That quality came in handy when I became popular in high school and got girls to go out with me, but now, I can't seem to find who that person was.

I've been on edge for this interview for the last few days, and I'm running out of ideas as to how to calm down. I ended up going to my last resort.

Nora agreed to go to the interview with me for moral support, but her tips haven't been that useful. She's used to working a room and getting people to like her, but not in an academic sense. I didn't have to go through much of an interview process to get into DHU with my dad already working there, so this is all new to me. Luckily, my dad actually has some decent advice.

Over the last few weeks, we've had odd conversations here and there. Nothing is ever substantial or important, but he's slowly becoming more tolerable to be around. I no longer feel like punching him in the face, and everything he says doesn't feel like an insult anymore. We're still in this weird middle-ground phase, but it's better than nothing.

We've been on the phone for almost an hour as I look over my interview cards in my room when he finally changes the topic. "Hey, uh, how's your mom holding up?" he asks. The question makes me stiffen instantly.

"She's been okay. We've both been busy, so I haven't seen her much, but she's doing better," I admit, leaning back in my chair.

"That"s good." A pause. "Does she… Does she talk about me?"

"Not really. Not in the way you think," I say. I know it's going to sting to hear, but I don't want my dad to think he has any chance of getting her back. I might be in the process of forgiving him, but he hurt her. She doesn't need to go through that again. "Why?"

"I was just wondering. Everything has been finalized now, and I guess it just feels weird to not have a wife anymore." His words settle between us, and it seems like one of the first times he's actually acknowledged what has happened.

"Huh," I mumble.

"What?"

"For a second there, you actually sounded sorry," I muse.

"I am sorry, Wes. I know you're never going to fully understand it, but there are parts of your mother and I's relationship that we kept to ourselves. And in hiding that, it damaged our relationship even more until the point it broke. I'm never going to have an excuse for cheating, but that's just the path I took. And I'm sorry that you found out in the way you did."

"It's fine. Not what you did. Obviously, that still sucks, and it hurts, but the truth is, I don't want to fight with you. I just had all this anger bottled up inside me, and I didn't express myself in the best way. Now with trying to find a new degree, it's making me look back at all the time I wasted my breath on this situation."

"I'm glad we're getting somewhere, son, I am," he says. "When's the next time you're going to see your mom?"

"I'm not sure. She's got this book signing event in..." I check the calendar app on my phone. What a coincidence. "It's in Denver, too. I'll see if I can swing by. I might have to stay the night in a hotel, though."

"Are you and Nora going?"

"Yeah."

"I can book you a room if you want. I know a few people down there, and I could get you a decent deal."

"You'd do that?" I gawk. These acts of kindness are sweet, but they're also a little frightening. But progress is progress, and I should probably treat it like it is.

"Yeah, it's no problem."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Don't mention it. I'll send you the details later. Let me know how the interview goes."

I'm beginningto think that deciding to bring Nora to my interview was a bad idea. Not only will she not shut up about going to my mom's book signing after, but she's convinced that I'm a doll that she can play dress up with. We've been walking around stores in downtown Denver, and she's tried to find me an outfit to wear even though I already brought one with me.

"You can't wear jeans to an interview, Wes," she says again, scrolling through a rack of clothes. I stand behind her, trying not to fall asleep with how long this is taking.

"Why not? It shows I'm laid back," I argue.

She turns to me, narrowing her eyes. She pulls out a blue button-down and holds it against my chest, tilting her head to the side. "This goes nicely with your eyes."

"Do I have to?"

"Do you want to make a good impression?"

"Yeah?"

"Then yes, you do have to," she concedes. I follow her around this fancy shop like I'm tethered to her as she picks out clothes for me. Honestly, I could get used to this. I'd let her dress me up in anything she wants me to if it brings her this much joy. I might be bored out of my mind, but I can't bring myself to care.

I walk out of the fitting room for the third time in black pants and a white shirt when Nora holds out a black tie to me. "I think you should wear this," she says. I drop the smooth material between my hands, examining it.

"A tie? Seriously? I'm going to look like I"m trying too hard," I grumble.

"That's kinda the whole point, Wesley," she teases. She grabs the tie from out of my hands, standing on her tiptoes to slip it around my neck. "Besides, you look good in a suit."

"Yeah?"

She stands back to admire her handwork. She nods as if she likes what she sees. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip in that adorable as fuck way when her eyes meet mine. "Definitely."

If it gets her to smile like that, then I don't have much of a choice. "Tie it is."

The secondI walk into the interview room, the tie feels way too tight around my neck. I think at least a million times if I should just tear it right off and walk out of the room, but I don't. I sit through the entire thing, feeling insanely on edge whilst a representative of the Marine Biology course asks me basic questions about myself, why I want to study the course, and what I want to get out of it.

Talking about myself is pretty easy, but lying about why I want to take this course is the hard part. Everyone usually comes to these things with a five-year plan ahead of them, and I don't have that. I have a million ideas thrown together, and just the sheer thought of hoping is what I'm rolling with.

I bullshit my way through most of the answers, and each tight smile the woman gives me feels like a punch to the gut. I have no way of knowing if what I'm saying is right or if I'm completely fucking this up. So when she thanks me for coming all this way, I get out of there as fast as I can.

The whole thing only lasted thirty minutes, but it felt like it went on for hours. When I get out of the building, I loosen my tie and take a deep breath. This is only the first of what's going to be a long, torturous process. Finding out what I'm good at and what I have a talent for isn't going to come overnight, and I'm just going to have to trust that process.

I push open the door to the hotel and find Nora lying on her stomach, watching TV from the bed. Her head snaps up when she sees me and I drop the tie over the back of a chair.

"How'd it go?"

I sigh, dropping down beside her on the bed. "Pretty good, I think."

"You'll have a million more interviews after this one. You've got nothing to worry about," she says reassuringly. I rub at my temples, but I already feel more settled.

"I know."

She scoots to sit up. "Oh, you do now?"

"Yeah, you've proved that to me a million times. I don"t have to worry that much anymore. not over stuff like this," I say.

She nudges me in the shoulder. "Now you're getting it, Wesley."

"Maybe you should take a page out of your own book."

She rears back a little, squaring her eyes at me. "What do you mean?"

"I know for a fact you've been sitting in her stressing over your show." She immediately bites on her bottom lip, proving my point. "You've got nothing to worry about, Stargirl. You sent in your tape, haven't you?"

She nods, gesturing to her laptop on the desk under the television. "It just went through now."

"Look at us. Adulting and shit," I say, and she just laughs. "Come on. We better get going before my mom starts to freak out."

She jumps from the bed, slipping her hand into mine, and my heart does that thing again. That fucking soaring thing that only seems to happen when she's here.