6. CHAPTER 6

6

KAI

So many emotions are running rampant in my mind right now, and I don’t know which to latch onto. I can’t believe she slapped me. But I deserved it. It was needed. That slap knocked some sense into me as the reality of my bad decisions suddenly weigh heavier on me than they ever have before. I’m not only destroying my mom, but I’m destroying myself.

I didn’t mean what I said about Jules. Him coming back to us has forced action and I can’t be mad about it, even if he is a blunt asshole. To be honest, I’m more terrified of how that hug made my heart swoop to the ground and bounce back up into my throat. I’ve never been touched like that before. A tranquility enveloped me when he held me in those huge arms. He smelled so good. Too good, if the hard dick in my jeans is anything to go by. While I can take care of myself, the needy part of my brain wanted him to pick me up, swaddle me in blankets, and take me away to protect me from the world. How fucking weird is that? It was painful when he pulled that secure feeling away from me to leave the room. I want him back here. Being in his arms, things just felt right for the first time in forever. Everything in my mind became balanced.

Grow the hell up, Kai. You’re so twisted.

Shaking myself back to the reality that I just want to leave, I grab my duffel and pack some necessities: a few items of clothing, toiletries, and my passport. You never know.

Begrudgingly, I slowly walk back out to the living room, where Jules is sitting with my mom. She looks up at me and rushes over, kissing my forehead and hugging me so tightly that I find it hard to breathe.

“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, Kai. I never should’ve hurt you like that. There’s no excuse. I just want you safe and happy and I’m scared for you.”

“It’s okay. I get it. I do. I promise you don’t have to worry. I’ll give it my all when I go with Jules. I’ll make you proud to call me your son.”

“I am proud to call you my son, Kai. I just want you to find your way again,” she says as she holds me like a precious baby. We’re both emotional as we soak up the apologies and promises. I have to make this right.

After a couple of minutes locked into this maternal embrace, we pull away and smile at one another. That hug was the full stop to my bullshit and this smile we share is a new start for us both. While today has been taxing, there is a lightness now that we have bared ourselves, and I’ve stopped hiding from the truth. I look over to Jules, who wears a small smile and gives a slight nod of the head.

“Time to go, Kai. We got a few hours on the road,” Jules says, and walks over to give my mom a quick hug before he walks out of the front door.

“Text me when you get there, Kai. And keep in touch.”

“I will. Love you, Mom.”

“I love you too.”

Walking outside, Jules grabs my bag and places it in the back of his car as I get into the passenger seat. My mom stands at the door and waves us off as we leave.

“You good?” Jules asks.

“Yeah. I’m sorry for being a dick back there,” I say as my phone chimes, alerting me to a text message. Jules chuckles.

“It’s fine, this time,” he says as I smile and pull my phone out of my jean pocket. Shit. It’s a message from Jez.

Jez

Went down to the station, and they said you’d been released. You coming over?

No. I’m in the car with my Uncle Jules. I’m leaving town. He’s taking me to work with him. Mom is over my shit.

Jez

What do you mean leaving? Fuck, man, you can’t just leave. Zac won’t allow it.

Fuck. I never thought of that. The Skins is Zac’s gang and I didn’t think it would matter if I left. It’s hardly a big time group.

He can’t force me to stay. I’ve already left. You don’t need me.

Jez

I’m supposed to be your best friend. You’ve fucked up, Kai.

I ignore that last message, along with the heavy roll of nausea in my stomach. They’ll just be upset that I didn’t talk to them, Jez is just making a big deal out of it. Right?