Twenty Two

Twenty-Two

Ana

“T old you he’d sign off on it.” Cady sets the menu down on the table and sits back in her chair. “Easy!”

“I have to admit, I didn’t think things would move so fast.”

We only went looking at properties two days ago, finding the perfect one on the main drag into town, just a few minutes away from the compound. A small but pretty little store that was once a florists. It sits on the same street as the Viking-owned tattoo and piercing studio, and I’m beginning to think this club owns far too much of this town. Does nobody see that? It’s a whole other world I’m living in, and I’m still not used to it. I don’t think I ever will be.

“We’ll get some of the guys to work re-fitting the interior, and start thinking about signage for the front… Ana?”

Cady’s voice cuts through my thoughts, and I look at her, blinking rapidly as I try to regain my focus. “Hmm? Sorry?”

Cady frowns. “What’s on your mind, kiddo? Because it sure ain’t this new business of ours.”

“It’s nothing. Really.”

“Okay. Want to talk about it?”

I shake my head, because I don’t, want to talk about it. What’s the point? I thought I wanted him, I thought he might have wanted me, too, but it seems I was wrong. It was nothing more than sex, for him. Just another fuck, that’s all I was. I can’t believe I was that stupid.

“Who was it?” Cady asks.

“I’m sorry…?”

“Who did you sleep with?”

Her words are like a kick to the gut. Have I made it that obvious? “I don’t want to talk about it, Cady. We should be talking about the business–”

“Uh-uh. No, lady, you don’t get away with it that easily.” She leans forward, and I breathe a sigh of relief as a waitress comes over to take our order. And even though I’m not overly hungry I order a sandwich and a soda and hope that Cady will leave this alone. But it looks like she isn’t going to. I can tell. “Alright. I’m going to hazard a guess here and say that you and Joel hooked up. Am I right?”

I just look at her, then drop my gaze and kick myself because that in itself is a giveaway. “It shouldn’t have happened,” I murmur, shifting my gaze to the window; the street outside.

“Did you want it to happen?” Cady asks, and when I look at her this time she seems genuinely concerned. “Because I know these men. And Joel is no saint.”

“I practically instigated it,” I sigh, sitting back. I just feel defeated now. Nothing feels right, it’s like I’m still living in some kind of dream. Or should that be nightmare...?

“And now he’s just ghosting you, right?”

“He has no need to be my shadow anymore, does he? Not now you and me are working together.”

“You sound almost disappointed.” The corners of Cady’s mouth inch up slightly, and I sigh again.

“In the beginning I resented him being there, all the time. And he made it clear he would’ve rather been anywhere else, but then… I don’t know. Things started to feel different. I started to feel different, and I can’t explain why, it just… I felt a connection…” I throw my head back and take a breath, exhaling slowly. “Whatever. It happened, he got what he probably wanted at the time, but now…” I can’t finish that sentence. I don’t know how to. What else is there to say? I’m too confused to even try and work out what’s going on.

“Look, Ana, I know I said Joel is no saint, but he’s not exactly the devil incarnate, either. There are much worse than him out there.”

I frown. “It doesn’t matter.” I shake my head. “Forget it. I was na?ve. Stupid. It’s time to move on.”

“You could try talking to him.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“There could be a good reason why he hasn’t made a move since you fucked.”

“Jesus, Cady!”

“Well? What do you want to call it?”

Our food arrives, and I stare down at my sm?rrebr?d. I’ve ordered my favorite – egg and shrimp. Mama used to make the best open-faced sandwiches… “Can we just talk about something else? It was a mistake.” My eyes meet Cady’s, and the smile she gives me is full of sympathy I don’t want and don’t need. “Seriously, Cady. Just leave it.”

“Okay.” She shrugs and bites into her sandwich. “It’s probably best you don’t get involved with any of them anyway. Too much of a distraction when we’ve got work to do.”

She’s trying to be kind, but I feel like a kid who’s strayed into territory she had no business being anywhere near, and I’m embarrassed and angry at myself for going there. I wish I could take it back: rewind time and make sure it never happened. I wish things had been different, that I knew what I was doing in this strange and frightening world I’ve suddenly found myself living in, but the truth is, I have no idea what I’m doing. I just know that Joel, he made me feel safe. He made me feel something …

Joel

“It looks like Renard might have a connection to the Blackhawks.” Skip crosses his arms, his eyes darting around the clubhouse. I’ve never seen him this on edge before, and its unsettling. “One of his henchmen has been seen going into their compound, on numerous occasions.”

“But not Renard himself?”

“Seems like he wants to keep a low profile.”

“So, do we think it was him who hacked our account?”

Skip reaches for a pile of papers behind him and hands them to me. I look at them closely, frowning.

“Hang on… are you telling me it was the Blackhawks?” I meet Skip’s gaze.

“That’s what it looks like.”

“It’s not their style.”

“It’s fucked up, that’s what it is. And this Renard, he’s got something to do with it. We just don’t know why the fuck he’d want to target us. But the fact he could be working with the Hawks, that’s shit we need to deal with.”

Not having any control over a situation, we’re not used to that. And I’m getting a bad feeling about all of this.

I glance back down at the papers Skip gave me, flicking through a handful of photographs showing the same man talking to the Blackhawks’ president: going in and out of the compound on several occasions.

“I’d put money on this being Renard’s lieutenant,” I say, showing Skip the photographs.

“If he is, then that’s proof Renard’s working with them: that the Balke family could also be working with them. I’ll talk to Rik.”

I watch Skip closely, watch his body language, he’s all over the place. It might not be obvious to anyone else, but I know this man. I know when something’s wrong. “Everything okay, Skip?”

He keeps his eyes out front. “Everything’s just fine, Joel.”

I don’t miss the hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

When he looks at me, his eyes are dark. Cold. “I said, everything’s fine, Joel.”

I shrug, but I’m not buying his shit. I just don’t have the energy to argue with him. “Okay, well, I’ll check back in later.”

I start to walk away, and then I hear Skip sigh. “Joel. Hold up.”

I turn back around. “Yeah?”

“I’m changing tack, with the Hawks.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“We should hit them, when they least expect it.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve let them get away with it for too long. We’ve stood back and done nothing, for too long. What they did to Sofia… it’s like we’ve just let those fuckers walk away, and that’s on me, I get that. But I can’t stand by and let that happen any longer. I can’t do that anymore.”

“Okay, and, what about Ana? Do you still think they’re coming for her?”

“We were never one hundred per cent sure they were going to come for her, we just assumed they might. Assumed they’d want some kind of revenge because we took out two of their men, but there’s been no sign of that happening. And she deserves justice for her mother just as much as I do. It’s fucking personal, Joel. And I’ve taken too many steps back from that, but now we need to seek the retribution we should’ve gone looking for long before now, because I’m not gonna settle until we do that. I need payback.”

“What about Renard?”

“What about him? Maybe he’s got some connection to the Hawks…” Skip waves his hand around, like he’s just dismissing this man and what he could mean for us.

“Exactly! Some connection, and we have no idea what that connection is, exactly, or why he’s suddenly aligned himself with the Hawks, but what we do know is that those fuckers, they haven’t got the intelligence to hack bank accounts.”

“They know how to fuck up a weapons deal. Our deal.”

“And that deal, it was lucrative, Skip. That deal was worth a lot of fucking money, but I don’t think they would’ve risked fucking us over without help. And if they’re working with Renard, the head of a major crime family, then he must have some kind of problem with us. Shouldn’t we try and find out what the fuck’s going on first? Before we hit them? Because if Renard has an army with him…”

“I can’t just sit here and do nothing, Joel. I’ve done enough of that. They took Sofia away from me, they killed my unborn child, they stole my fucking future. They don’t get to walk away from that, not anymore.”

“Until we find out what’s really going on, shouldn’t we hang fire on this? We could be walking into something bigger than we can handle, and we can’t afford to do that.”

“I’ve already told you, I’ve got other charters on call. They’ll help us.”

“We don’t know what we’re dealing with, Skip. Come on!”

He downs another draft of beer, and I can see it in his eyes, he’s spoiling for a fight, for some reason. And I need to diffuse this.

“What’s the matter, Skip? You can talk to me, you can trust me, you know that.”

He takes a beat. “Not here,” he growls under his breath, slamming his empty beer bottle down onto the counter. “Outside.”

I follow him out into the yard, to a table set a little way back from the clubhouse.

“I don’t think I can do this for much longer, Joel.” Skip lowers his gaze, his shoulders hunched.

“Do what?”

He takes a second. Leaves another beat. “This.” I watch as his whole demeanor changes right in front of my eyes. That fight he had in him not a few seconds ago, it’s gone. And now he looks almost defeated. “I don’t think I can run this club. I can’t do it anymore.” He drops his head into his hands, dragging them both back through his hair, his shoulders tense.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Where’s this come from?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs, raising his gaze to the sky as the sun disappears behind a clutch of gun-metal-gray clouds. “I think I’ve been feeling it for a while, even before Sofia. She was just the catalyst. The one to make me sit up and realize that I can’t do this shit forever. I don’t want to. I’m too fucking worn down now.” He drops his head again; laughs quietly, but it’s one with no humor. “I can see why my dad left it all behind now. For my mama.” His eyes meet mine, and they’re calmer now. The coldness has gone, replaced with a sadness I’ve never seen in him before. “All of this, it’s changed me, Joel. It’s changed everything. When I met Sofia…” He takes a deep breath, dropping his gaze again. I’ve never seen him like this, ever, and it’s a real headfuck, if I’m being honest. “My dad left this world behind because he fell in love. He left because he wanted a better life, and I didn’t understand that before. I fucking get it now.” He lights up a cigarette and takes a long drag. “When I told her – Sofia – about my dad: how he left this life behind for love, she asked me if I would ever do that, and I said no. I told her I’d never do that: couldn’t do that, even though I was falling for her. I just didn’t think I was ready to admit that to myself, at the time. But it was happening. I just thought I’d be able to keep her in my world. I assumed that she’d love me enough to stay here, and I regret that so fucking much. If I’d just been strong enough to admit how I was feeling: realize that being with her was so much more important than this fucking club, she might be alive today.”

“You can’t think like that, Skip.”

“Can’t I? I wanted her to stay in this fucked up world because it was my world, but it wasn’t hers. I should’ve been a strong man, like my dad, and known when the time was right to walk away.”

“Nobody could’ve known what was going to happen.”

“This life comes with risks, Joel. And even though we try to keep innocent people away from all the shit, sometimes you fail. You fuck up. And people who don’t deserve to get hurt pay the price.” He takes a deep breath. He’s never opened up like this, to me; to anyone, as far as I know, and he seems like a very different man right now. “Sofia was my escape.” His voice is quieter. Calmer. But there’s a hint of sadness there amongst the residue of anger. “She was my way out of this. And they took her from me.” He shakes his head, his eyes once more cold. Hard. The darkness in him is back. “So we hit them.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Skip. Not yet.”

“I don’t give a shit what you think, Joel. This is still my club, my decision, and I say we hit them.”

“And then what? We start a war?”

“We were already fighting one.”

“And what about Renard? Like I said before, we have no idea what he’s here for, or why he’s gunning for us–”

“Then you’d better start finding out.”

His eyes are as dark as coal, and I’m not sure I’m going to be able to talk him out of this one. “When do you plan on doing this?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs, stubbing his cigarette out on the table top. “Just go see if you can find out anything more about Renard. I need to think.”

I hate leaving him alone: seeing him like this, it’s a new one for me. All the years I’ve known Skip, he’s never shown this kind of vulnerability. It’s like the fight is just draining out of him, and there’s a part of me that wonders how one woman could mean so much to him when they’d only known each other for such a short time. And then I think about Ana…