11. Kaila

Turren cut a plant we used to clean our teeth, pointing it out to us both so we could find it for ourselves. While we brushed at the river, he dug tubers and picked berries. We ate a hearty meal, washing it down with water. We filled flasks for us to carry. Then we started walking.

Brunnen swung his new staff around, hitting trees and swiping it through bushes.

“You’ll need to smooth the grip,” Turren said, walking beside my brother.

“What do you mean?” Brunnen asked.

Turren showed him. He was kind and patient with my brother, something few other than me had bothered to do. Most saw him as either a barrier in getting to me, like my boss, or a pain for asking so many questions.

Turren listened and showed Brunnen which rocks would work best not only for smoothing the handle of his new staff but sharpening the tip.

“After we stop tonight, and before it gets dark,” he said, “I’ll show you some basic defensive moves. I want you to practice them for at least an hour and know right now that you’ll be sore in the morning. But with more practice, they’ll become seamless. They might seem silly at first, but when you can do them almost in your sleep, you’ll find they come natural in battle. They could save your life.”

Brunnen nodded and worked on the grip while he walked, smoothing it with the rock, while Turren pointed out plants that were edible and those we needed to avoid.

At one point, he plucked a flower and presented it to me.

“Wooing?” I asked, looking at it without touching it, though I was tempted. It was hard to maintain a surly attitude with someone who treated you kindly. If only treating him nicely didn’t mean I wanted to mate with him, a common attitude with most men I’d interacted with. Smile and they thought you wanted to have sex.

“When I woo, you’ll know,” Turren said.

Brunnen snorted. “Kaila might not be able to tell.”

Turren flashed his tusks my way, and I didn’t like it. It made that hum in my belly drop lower. I was aware of him, of his pleasant scent, the way his muscles played beneath his golden green skin as he moved, and the way my skin tingled when he looked at me.

I also didn’t like his flower. It was pretty but everything gifted to me in the past came with conditions. One flower might mean I had to be nice to him whether I wanted to or not.

When I didn’t take it, he gently tucked the stem behind my ear, adjusting the blossom to sit at my temple. Then the floral scent kept reminding me that he’d given it to me.

Another thing I didn’t like.

We stopped to eat the smoked meat for lunch and then continued walking.

By late afternoon, I was sweaty, irritable, and tired of guarding myself to avoid noticing all the wonderful things about Turren. It wasn’t just his physical appearance that attracted me or the kindness he extended to my brother. With each gesture, he showed me caring, from holding back a branch on the path so it didn’t scrape me to lifting me over a fallen log and gently setting me on the other side. When we stopped for lunch, he not only filled our flasks at the river, but he also wet a scrap of cloth for me and nodded while I used it to wipe off my face.

He was too nice. Too appealing. And too virile for my taste. Oh, I’d like to taste him alright. A strange melty sensation kept sliding through my bones whenever the thought flitted through my mind.

I had to keep reminding myself I had to tell him goodbye in two days.

Why hadn’t he wanted to kiss me last night or this morning? I’d gotten to the point where I couldn’t stop looking at his mouth. Would his tusks press into my cheeks in an unpleasant way, or would I even notice they were there? His lips were a darker green than his skin, and slightly plumper on the bottom than the top. What would they feel like moving on mine? And his tongue . . . Well, I didn’t like thinking about his tongue—or that I was intrigued about it as well.

To kiss me, he’d have to lift me or scrunch over, because he was much too tall for me to reach.

If only I could stop thinking about Turren in general.

Would it feel unpleasant, or would I enjoy it? Would the itch burning inside me go away after one kiss?

When the sun was hugging the horizon, we stopped near a bend in the river.

Turren waded into the water and soon caught a fish. Another. He kept tossing them up onto the shore while Brunnen laughed and grabbed them. In no time, the two males had gutted and cleaned them. I, feeling useless, collected wood for a fire.

I was laying wood on the level area above the river when something plopped onto the ground beside me. I frowned at it before realizing what it was—Turren’s wet loincloth.

Lifting my head, I gaped when I found Turren swimming in the river. “Where’s . . . my brother?” He was nowhere around.

“He’s bathing not far upstream, within shouting distance.”

“Bathing.”

“We’re hot. Sweaty. We want to be clean.” The heat of his gaze traveled down my frame. “You’re welcome to bathe with me.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Maybe I don’t want to bathe with you.” I did. Well, not necessarily bathe with him, but bathe in general. I was also hot and sweaty, plus dirty from lugging wood.

“Take off your clothing,” he rasped. “Enter the water.”

“Why are you so determined about this?”

“You could persuade me to give you our first kiss.”

“At this rate, with you holding your kisses back, I’m beginning to think you’re averse to kissing me.”

“Never doubt that I want to kiss you, touch you, stroke you,” he said softly.

I gingerly stepped down the bank to the edge of the water. “You shouldn’t say such things.”

“It feels good to be clean. Refreshing. Are you sure I can’t talk you into coming into the water with me?”

“Talk, talk, talk. That’s all you ever do.”

His head tilted and then he smiled. “I am talking a lot. I like it. You should get used to it.”

“I’d rather not.” With a huff, I started stomping downstream. “I’ll bathe someplace else.” I froze when he spoke.

“Alone?”

I whirled to face him, finding him standing with water gliding down his muscular chest. It wasn’t fair that he was so attractive. If only he was old and wrinkly and boring. Anyone but him.

“I’ve bathed alone all my life,” I said.

“In the forest with dusk falling?”

A creature cried out in the forest, and my body was suddenly wracked with the chills. “I won’t bathe.”

“You’ll sleep better if you do, but I’m not one to force anyone to do something they don’t wish to.”

“Except kisses.”

“Have I forced a kiss on you yet?”

“No, but you keep teasing me about them, making me . . .”

“Making you what, my precious mate?”

“Stop using words like that.”

“You mean stating you’re beautiful, treasured, and beyond compare? I only speak the truth.”

And his words kept thrilling through me. “I’m none of those things.”

“To me, you are, and so much more.”

There was such simple honesty in his voice. And longing. It touched me in a place where no one else had ventured before, where no one had ever cared to venture before.

“Turn around,” I croaked.

He did so without question.

I quickly removed my skirt and blouse but remained in my underwear. I wasn’t that foolish. This male would never take advantage of me. I already knew this in my bones. But if I held out my hand, he’d not only take it, but he’d also tug me into his arms and . . .

He’d make me crave him.

Once I was submerged, I closed my eyes and floated, savoring how wonderful the cool water felt.

I drifted closer to Turren, joining him, I supposed, because I didn’t make the effort to shift in a different direction.

“I’ll wash your hair if you want.” He held up the soap.

“Thank you.”

He moved closer and braced me against his front with his legs around my thighs, holding me in place.

I couldn’t help it. As he worked the soap into my hair and massaged my scalp, I closed my eyes and relaxed. I enjoyed his touch.

He carefully rinsed my hair, keeping the soap out of my eyes, then handed the bar to me. I washed my body while he studied the vegetation along the shore, looking up and downstream, keeping his gaze focused on anything and everything but me.

“What happened to your parents?” he asked softly.

“They died ten years ago.”

“When you were twelve, just a girl.”

“Just a girl,” I agreed.

“I’m sorry. I lost my parents as well, but I was older.”

“How old are you now?” I asked.

“Thirty.”

“Very old.”

His low laugh rang out. “Too old?”

“No. Not too old.”

“That’s a relief, my inquisitive mate.”

My snort echoed around us. “Inquisitive?”

“I’m hoping you’ll ask me more questions because I want to share. But first, tell me what it was like raising your brother. My brother and I weren’t close, and I was the youngest. The . . .”

“The what?”

“I . . . My family wasn’t . . . friendly.”

He sounded so lonely; I wanted to hug him. And I sensed there was a lot more to his statement than I was hearing. Hoping it would make him feel more comfortable speaking, I floated beside him, doing my share of studying the forest.

“It was a very sad time in my life,” he said simply. “It’s hard to . . . lose family.”

“I had my brother.” Many times, I’d resented him. I hadn’t wanted to be a parent. I had dreams of studying with the baker, of learning to craft delicious breads and pastries. “I mourned my parents, but I couldn’t release all the pain inside me. My brother was devastated. He kept asking me where they were, when they’d be back, and no matter how many times I told him what happened, even when keeping my explanation simple, he’d wake up the next morning and ask me all over again.”

“You trapped all your feelings inside.”

“If I hadn’t, my emotions would’ve scared him. He needed me to be there for him because they no longer were.”

“Who was there for Kaila?’

“No one. We had no living family. We didn’t even own our home. It belonged to the man running the gardens. If I hadn’t started working for him, we would’ve had to move out.”

“You were just a child yourself.”

How could this male understand when everyone in the village had shrugged and told me to take care of what needed to be done? “No one offered to take us in or even to cook us a meal.” My throat was so tight with pain, I could barely breathe.

“I’m sorry.”

“Did everyone tell you to just get on with it in your village?”

“My village . . . No.”

I waited, but he didn’t say anything further. “Now you’re a clan caedos. Did you want to be the leader?”

“At first? No. But I was persuaded.” His low laugh rang out.

I nodded. “You also took on a mantle you weren’t prepared to assume.”

“I had a choice. No one is forced to be caedos. It wasn’t a role I was raised for. I wanted to be me, whoever that was, not the leader everyone needed.”

“You found a way to do it.”

“It wasn’t long before I was happy I’d been asked.”

His kindness and caring would make him an excellent leader.

“How did you and your brother survive?” he asked.

“I cooked, cleaned our home, and went to work in the gardens. If I didn’t work, we didn’t eat. My parents didn’t leave behind much money.”

“I imagine there were times when you felt as lost as your brother.”

All the time. “Just once, I wanted someone kind to lean on. Someone to listen and care when I spoke, to tell me I was doing well with Brunnen when I worried all the time that I didn’t have what it took to be a mother to a small boy.”

“You did well. He’s a strong, responsible youngling.”

I shrugged. “I did the best I could, and I suppose that was enough.”

“Why leave the village now? It’s been ten years. You’ve thrived.”

Just barely. “My boss told me if I didn’t go to his bed, he’d fire me.”

He growled, his hand tightening on mine. When had our fingers linked together?

“Once I’ve left you at the women’s village,” he snarled, “I’ll return to yours and kill him.”

“Kill him for looking for a bedmate?”

“For trying to force you to do something you didn’t want to.”

“Yes, I didn’t want to be with him that way, but I did need the job. So, we ran. We packed our things and fled in the night. Perhaps we were unwise to pick the night of the hunt, but we thought it would provide a distraction. Everyone was focused on the two women being sent out the front gate. I doubted anyone noticed we’d left through the back.”

“Tell me his name, and I’ll bring you his head. I mean this. I promise you this. With everything inside me, I will see it done.”

He sounded determined. I wanted to laugh or sigh. There was something oddly endearing about a male who was desperate to defend my honor.

“Don’t bother. He means nothing, and he’s not worth you risking your life to kill him. We left. We’re traveling to a new home.” A new home without Turren.

Why did that thought make me feel sad?