Chapter 20

ATOX IM GRAK

“Faster,” I shout as I press my knees into my gorja’s ribs.

The screaming in the distance makes me push my Caju harder than he can handle. By sending two groups of warriors to guard the human colony, I left my people vulnerable to attack.

You’ll never be grak. You’re weak, like your mother.

Never have my father’s words haunted me as much as now, when I can do nothing but listen to the screams of my people as I spur my gorja to run faster.

It’s like being on Orcos again. During The Undoing. An unprecedented fear sweeping through the populace as they tried to escape.

I roar at the top of my lungs, warning whoever’s attacking my people that they’ll die at the end of my sword. Caju rears on his hind legs and we break through the woods, my sword already drawn.

My brain shift gears swiftly. I expected to find bantarans or vints attacking, but instead a herd of yengas is ripping through the settlement.

Caju tramples a yenga with his front hooves, narrowly avoiding the beast’s deadly horn. I slide off my mount, my sword swinging at the stampeding yengas.

Yengas.

This far from the plains…

Unheard of, and yet the beasts are pulverizing our settlement before my eyes.

My sword severs the heads of four beasts as three of my warriors and I struggle to turn the horde away from the mountain. They’ve decimated everything in sight, from the fire pits to the tanning frames, but that is a concern for later.

Off to my left, Verig remains on his gorja as he swings at the beasts. He’s taking a huge risk. Even with his sword swinging low to keep the yengas from reaching his gorja, if one makes it past him, the horde will cut down his mount and then him. But this is why I chose Verig as my second. He lets nothing stop him.

My sword finds no relief as beast after beast charges at me. Blood colors the ground, our bodies, and our swords as we battle the yangas. As I kill three more, Ossa runs from the safety of the tunnels.

“Get back inside,” I yell at her.

“Evve’s missing! And the hooman ran off.”

I can see the path cleared by the rampaging yengas. Trees of all sizes, including ones that survive the worst winds and rains, have been toppled and shredded like they were saplings. No one could have survived this stampede. My heart sinks at the thought of losing not only Evve but my mate too.

“Evve!” Ossa yells again as she reaches my side, her ax drawn.

I push Ossa behind me as I sever the head of a yenga. “I will find her.”

Rage fuels me forward as I race past the remaining yengas, leaving them for my warriors to kill. The chance that Evve and Paloma are still alive is slim. I have to find them.

The path of trampled brush and felled trees leads toward the lake. I pray neither Evve nor Paloma entered the water to avoid the yengas. Though if they became trapped between the yengas and the lake… I cannot even imagine such a deadly choice.

When I reach the lake, Evve, my little niece who I can still throw in the air and catch with one hand, swings a branch at a yenga. I cannot allow myself to mourn the fact that I don’t see Paloma, that she is likely dead. I must save Evve.

Five of the beasts border the lake, edging their way toward her. She stands in the shallow end where the racanna cannot reach her, but the yengas can if they are determined enough. Yengas won’t enter water higher than their ankles but even an animal in the throes of hunger will risk its life to reach its prey.

One by one, I slice through the five yengas, narrowly missing the horns of a sixth that charges me from behind. With two more swings, I behead the sixth and turn to my sister’s youngling.

Evve stands in the water, not moving, fear in her young eyes.

“They are dead, Evve.”

She shakes her head, as if she doesn’t believe me. When I step forward to pick her up, she points to the middle of the lake. “The racanna took Paloma.”

Hope and fear twist within me. Paloma may still be alive, depending on when the racanna took her. I don’t have time to waste asking Evve.

“Don’t move from this spot,” I order as I place a knife in Evve’s palm. There are more yengas in the woods and she may have found the ideal spot for avoiding both yengas and racannas.

I plunge my sword into the dirt by the lake, so any warrior who approaches will know I need help. Then I draw a knife and dive into the cold, murky water. The low visibility means the racanna has stirred from its nest.

Once I reach the bottom, I drag my hand on the lake floor searching for my female knowing I may find the racanna instead. Something grabs my wrist, but I don’t feel scales, only flesh. Paloma!

I grab her arm and pull, but she doesn’t move. As the dirt settles, I see why. The racanna wrapped its tail around her waist and holds her under the water waiting for her to drown.

The terror in her eyes as she claws the racanna’s tail shoots fear through me.

I cannot—will not—lose her.

Repeatedly, I stab the racanna’s tail, gouging as deeply as I can. Clouds of black blood darken the water.

One last air bubble escapes Paloma’s mouth.

Too late! Too late!my brain screams.

I keep stabbing the racanna’s tail. I will not lose my female!

Finally, the monster loosens its grip.

Paloma’s body floats free of the racanna. Her eyes are open and she’s not moving. There’s no air left in her body.

I grab her and swim as fast as I can to the surface. When we break through, three of my warriors dive into the water with knives held in their teeth to cover my retreat as I pull Paloma out of the water. Ossa stands at the water’s edge, holding Evve in her arms.

“She’s not breathing,” I say as I lay Paloma on the ground. “Tell me how to save her, Ossa. I beg of you!”

I’ve never begged anything of anyone in my life, but the words come to me easily because I’m desperate. I’ve only begun to know my female, but I know I don’t want to lose her. For more than what she means to my people.

What she means to me.

“Turn her on her side,” my sister instructs.

The moment I do, water pours from Paloma’s mouth and she chokes, but takes in air at the same time. I pull her against my chest, holding her as she coughs out more water and then sags against me.

“I couldn’t breathe,” she says, shaking.

My eyes find Ossa. I don’t need to say thank you. My sister understands.

“She is strong, your female. She saved Evve from being trampled by the yengas.”

“I told her about the racanna,” Evve says, her little arms tight around Ossa’s neck. “But she didn’t understand me.”

I hold Paloma against me, amazed she’s alive. She is stronger than I realized. I’ve been a fool, leaving her unprepared for my people and the hazards of where we live. She saved Evve and nearly died in the process, but I cannot blame the yengas or racanna. They are animals who survive on instinct. I bear the responsibility of what happened to my female. I left her unable to communicate with my people. If she’d had a language chip, she would have understood Evve’s warning.

“You saved me, Atox,” Paloma says, her beautiful brown eyes staring up at me.

“She calls you by your personal name, brother,” Ossa says, sounding shocked, but not angry.

“Does that mean you approve of her?” I ask in Orcan.

“Is Evve, okay?” Paloma turns her head to the side looking for the youngling.

“She lives, because of you,” I reply. “Ossa is grateful. We all are.”

“You want me for a mate,” she struggles to speak between coughing. “but I’m not allowed to call you by your name and Ossa is. Let me leave, Grak. You don’t want me.”

“I want you, Paloma. Very much.”

Ossa approaches and recounts what happened while I was gone from our camp, but I cannot absorb what she’s saying. The image of Paloma’s eyes open while the last air bubbles left her body still haunts me, even though she is now safe. Later, after we’ve tended to injuries and restored our camp, I will speak with Ossa.

“Ossa hates me,” Paloma slurs her words. “I bet she’s jealous that you chose me over her. Take her, Atox, and let me leave.”

“She is thanking you for saving Evve. Evve is her youngest youngling. And Ossa is my older sister.”

“I didn’t know,” Paloma squeaks as she buries her face against my chest, which steals my breath. I sink my hand into her short hair, grateful that she lives. She leans on me, her hands clinging to my arms. It is the first time she’s reached for me.

“There is much you don’t know,” I whisper. “But I will correct that. For now, you will rest.”

I lift her into my arms and wait by the water’s edge long enough to ensure all three of my warriors make it out. As we walk up the hill, Evve recounts the story of what happened, of how she hid by a tree when the yengas stampeded. She points out where she hid before Paloma found her.

Nothing remains of the area. The tree had been knocked down, splintered, and ground into the dirt. Hundreds of yengas funneled into the canyon that leads to our mountain, and they destroyed much of the woods in their path. I nearly lost my sister’s youngling and my female.

“The human saved my Evve,” Ossa says, her voice filled with awe as she takes in the destruction. “The human was close to me when the yengas came, Atox. She could have run to the tunnels, but instead she searched for Evve. I may have been wrong about her.”

Paloma turns in my arms, her movement slow and her face full of exhaustion. Her gaze moves from Ossa to the youngling my sister carries. Paloma smiles at Evve, before her head drops against my shoulder and her eyes close.

“She deserves your respect, Ossa. As she will carry my younglings in time.”

“Are you sure that is what she wants?”

“She wants to return to her people.”

“Then keeping her here is wrong. Let her return to them.”

“Wrong or not, we have little choice. We need more females.”

And I want this one…

PALOMA

Atox carriesme in his arms through the dim tunnels to his chambers. Oddly enough, I’m relieved to be alone with him. I don’t have the ability to face Ossa’s anger right now. Not with the memory of that lake monster dragging me under so fresh in my mind.

I used to think of Atox as the monster, but he rescued me. Now, he carries me with genuine care.

“I like this view much better than when I’m over your shoulder,” I say. I should be thanking him for saving me, but I don’t want to talk or think about the lake.

“You didn’t like staring at my ass?” he asks, his voice lighter, softer, than usual.

“Did you make a joke, Atox?”

“Graks don’t joke.”

“Ah, but you’re a warrior first, then a grak.” I hesitate, then add, “And then a mate.”

“So you do listen, female.”

“Why won’t you use my name? Do you hate it because it’s a human name or is it because you can’t think of me as a person?”

“You once called yourself a broodmare, Paloma. I call you female, mate, but never broodmare or slave.” He opens the door to his chambers. “Ves,” he calls out and the lights flick on.

“Ves turns the lights on?”

“Tak.”

“And that must mean yes,” I conclude.

“You now know two words of my language. Proof that you can learn, if you wish it.”

The way he says that, with kindness and…. encouragement, it’s almost like he’s asking me to stay.

“You may have been right about me,” I reply, wondering if all this time, his insistence on obeying him, has been his way of teaching me that my survival here depends on my attitude, on my willingness to learn.

“I am usually right,” he says, in his normal, self-assured manner that I don’t find quite so offensive at the moment. Atox tilts his head. “But what are you referring to precisely, female?”

“I don’t have anywhere to go. I planned on escaping in the back of the cart, but my people don’t want me.”

Saying the words out loud for the first time makes that sad fact real. But why confess all of this to Atox?

I look at his face. There’s no anger there, not for me. It’s as if he genuinely wants to understand me better.

That’s when I realize at some point I started trusting him. But I still can’t predict what he’ll do in any given situation. Revealing too much to him isn’t wise, not until I know what I’m going to do.

“Continue,” he orders as he sets me on my feet and unlaces the top of my soaked tunic.

I should push him away and do it myself, but I’m so fucking tired. Running, fighting that lake monster, nearly drowning, and all the damn fear from the past hour has utterly drained me.

Slowly, Atox peels the drenched leather off of me. He’s treating me as if I am fragile. I guess compared to orcs, I am.

“Keep your arms up, female.”

“I have to untie my belt,” I say, unknotting the leather. Slowly, I drag my eyes up to Atox. “I lost your knife in the lake.”

“I have many knives, but only one female. Lift your arms or I will cut your tunic off you.”

He would. This orc doesn’t bluff. When I lift my arms, I suck in a deep breath as pain lances across my stomach, hips, and lower back.

“Vekking racanna,” he says followed by Orcan words as he pulls the tunic off, exposing a thick ring of bruises around my middle.

Atox immediately tips my head up with one finger. “Do not look.”

“I want to see what it did to me.”

“You do not need to see the damage.”

“I’ve already seen the bruises.”

“But not the cuts.”

“Cuts?”

“Keep your head up,” he orders as he opens a wooden box near his trunk of clothing and furs and withdraws the healing gel he used on my ass that day by the river.

Atox sits on the edge of the bed and draws me between his legs with a gentle touch that still amazes me. I stand there completely naked, too tired and sore to be self-conscious while he applies the gel to my ribs, stomach, and back. He doesn’t seduce me or scold me, or try to teach me how to behave toward him. He simply applies the gel, as gently as he can, careful not to miss a single spot. My heart feels lighter. No one has ever cared for me so tenderly.

I shiver from the cold.

“Almost done, female. Then you will sleep.”

“I was scared, Atox.”

“Yengas chased you and then a racanna nearly drowned you. You would be a fool not to be scared.”

“You wouldn’t have been. Orcs don’t fear.” I look away, knowing I’ve just pointed out that I’m weak, something I know Atox detests.

He stops applying the gel. “Is that what you think?”

When I don’t answer or look at him, afraid to see the disappointment in his face, he tugs my wet hair. “Look at me, Paloma.”

He used my name. That alone makes me meet his eyes. It’s as if my name is as guarded as his, reserved for moments such as this. Life and death, healing and maybe forgiveness.

Those dark green eyes that have always drawn my attention pull me in deeper than ever before. I wish he’d let me see behind them, to get to know him better.

“Female, I fear many things in this life, as do all orcs. But we do not show it. We cannot appear weak.”

“But you’re not weak.”

He draws a long breath. “We all have weaknesses, but we hide them, fight them… do anything but give in to them. Fear is a powerful force, one that destroys. We cannot let fear infect us. Instead, we use it as a weapon. Instill fear in others… That is key to how we defeat our enemies. Slathering ourselves in muck, causing trouble with other species, being quick and decisive, all of these tactics make others think twice about crossing us.”

“So you don’t have to fight?”

His lips curl down, flashing more of his tusks. “You are beginning to think like an orc. But do not mistake strategically deciding when to engage the enemy with reluctance to do so. We enjoy fighting and will eagerly charge against an enemy, if and when it is necessary. And when we fight, we crush our enemy so they cannot rise up against us again. But fighting for the sake of fighting is a waste of resources.”

My shivering returns with a vengeance and I feel like I’m going to be sick, but it isn’t a reflection on him or his ways. And yet I can’t find the words to tell him how I feel about being here, because I’m no longer sure.

After drying me from head to toe with a towel that is stiffer than what I’m used to and is made of a fiber I’ve never seen but does absorb water, I sink to the edge of the bed. Atox quickly strips out of his weapons harness and loin-cloth.

He’s beautiful, with solid muscles everywhere, a trim waist, and a V that practically points to his cock. Even flaccid, that cock has girth and length that would intimidate any human male and terrify any woman. Except for me. I’m no longer scared of him, because I’ve seen a side to him that he hides from most.

“You are tiny, but you will adjust to me,” he says standing over me, his cock bobbing before my face.

I’ve been in this position with him before, but this time I’m intrigued. Subtle ridges run the length of it, bands that swirl and change direction, like a piece of art. It’s beautiful. And the ridges… they remind me of his forehead. I tip my head back and take in his face.

He’s a handsome male. Neat braids atop his head with the rest of his hair hanging loose in back, strong facial features, and well-defined muscles along his arms, chest and down his torso to his thick legs. Every part of him toned. He carries himself with pride and confidence and moves strategically. He’s beautiful.

“You approve, female?”

My cheeks flush when I realize I’m staring at his cock. With one finger, he tips my head up to meet his eyes.

“The universe wouldn’t give you to me if we could not fuck.”

Beautiful… yes. Eloquent…no.

That thought makes me laugh, which causes him to tilt his head. I guess he doesn’t understand me any better than I understand him. But we have time.

Have I just decided to stay?

He grips my chin, holding my face so I cannot look away. “Do you still fear me, female?”

Atox isn’t a charmer, but he has a unique quality to him—a gruff honesty—that I am beginning to appreciate. Good or bad, he speaks his mind.

I run my hand over his hip to his massive thigh. The size of his muscles, the power of them, astounds me. Nothing about this male is weak.

And he thinks I’m his match.

Another shiver wracks me, though I’m not sure if it’s from the cold or the trauma. When I sway, Atox lifts me, carries me to the head of the bed, and lays me down.

The bed dips considerably when he lies down beside me and curls around me before pulling a fur over us. That huge cock brushes against my ass. I want to laugh, but more than anything, I want to feel warm again. And safe.

I snuggle close to him, pressing my backside against him, no longer caring that we are both naked. Blessed heat warms me like he’s my personal space heater. Except better. This one holds me close, makes me feel treasured.

And that cock is no longer soft. But it’s resting against my lower back. He doesn’t press it between my ass cheeks. Not tonight.

“Finish your story, female. You decided against escaping in the cart. Why?”

“When I think of returning to Earth, it feels wrong. I guess I think of Kovos as my home now.”

“Kovos, or here, with me?”

“We still don’t know each other.” My reply, my deflection, feels dishonest, but something has changed between us and I want to understand it before I decide my path.

When I turn to face him, I find Atox’s face is tight. I do something I’d never done before. I run my finger along his lower lip. The softness there amazes me because nothing else on this male is soft, from the tough skin to the hard muscles that press against me every time he holds me close.

I sit up, holding the fur up to cover my breasts as I take all of Atox in. Despite the green skin, massive body, and tusks, he’s no monster. He’s just… Atox. And I long to see the man beneath the gruff exterior.

He deserves a chance.

I guess we both do.

“Perhaps we should get to know one another better,” I suggest. I’m no longer cold, but my entire body pulses with a need I haven’t felt toward him before.

Atox’s nose flares. “You tempt me, female, but you need rest. Lie down.”

“With or without the fur?” I drop the fur and expose my breasts.

The growl that echoes through the room sails to my lower half, but then my teeth chatter again.

“Under the furs. Now.”

Despite my decision to explore this growing attraction between us, my eyelids feel like lead weights. Atox pulls the fur over me as I return to my previous position, snuggled against his side. He curls his arms around me and lays his splayed hand over my abdomen, below the bruises. So warm. He really is the best heater in the universe.

“Sleep, female.”

“Yes, Grak.”

I swear I hear him chuckle as I drift off to sleep.