Chapter Five

Leo

I had no idea what I was doing with Andy. Talking things out with him was one thing, but asking him to stay with me and share my bed with me last night? Not my finest moment. I couldn't help it. He had seemed so broken, so desperate. The way he had clung to me while he cried... My stupid brain listened to my even dumber heart, and before I realized it, Andy was wrapped around me like a second skin.

And then this morning, he was hard. For me. Rubbing his erection against my hip. It took all my willpower not to shove him onto his back, climb up, and straddle him. Beg him to have his way with me. I couldn't get to the driver's meeting fast enough so that I could escape him. Only that meant Andy was now alone in my RV. I hoped that he didn't go poking around in my things.

My knee bounced up and down as I chewed on my nail. I used to keep my nails long and painted with vibrant colors, but I couldn't even remember the last time I had done that. Put on makeup. Dressed so that I felt good about myself. I had shoved that part of me into the back of the closest. Hidden like a dirty secret.

I caught sight of RJ as he stopped outside the entrance, and my brows shot up when I saw Ford and Felix with him. I shouldn't have been surprised that the twins were together, because they were inseparable. But it was when they both touched an arm, beamed up at RJ, and batted their lashes that had me wondering what was going on. Not that I was judging. My brother was in a poly relationship, which I fully supported. But these were the twins. I knew how they operated.

But both twins? How did that work? Was there sword-crossing? That might be something I should ask him. I had so many questions. A big smile broke out across my face as my friend turned to step into the room. When RJ spotted me, his face burned crimson. I couldn't help but wink at him as he approached me. He dropped into the empty chair beside me and grunted something I couldn't understand.

I put my hand up to my ear. "Want to repeat that because I didn't hear what you said?"

"What do you want to know?" he muttered, gripping the back of his neck.

I giggled. "Was it good?"

"What? Oh, no, it's not like that!" RJ exclaimed, then grimaced when he realized how loud his voice was. He dropped his chin. "Stop looking at me like that."

I nudged his knee with mine. "So, what is like? Do they take turns watching? Or, maybe, you watch—"

"Jesus Christ, Leo."

"I'm curious. Also, still a virgin."

RJ worried his lip between his teeth. "They don't watch." He grimaced before he dropped his gaze to feet. "Ford kissed me first. I don't know if he was trying to make his brother jealous, but he just went for it. And then the next thing I knew, Felix was in my lap, his tongue in my mouth and kissing me until I was dizzy. It was so hot, like nothing I have ever felt before."

I stared at my friend in shock and awe. I had to admit, that was something I had never thought would come from his lips. "I thought you said it wasn't like that?"

"Because it wasn't. Kisses, not sex, and please, you're hardly a virgin. You've done nearly almost everything with Andy." RJ scowled. "What if I do it wrong?"

I giggled softly. "There's no right or wrong way. Go with what feels good. I'm sure the twins can help you out in that department. They're very experienced."

"Christ almighty, Leo." RJ scrubbed a hand down his face. "I really enjoyed kissing them."

I smirked. "I bet you did, boo. They're cute. Not my type but cute, nonetheless. You're into twinks?" I watched the way his cheeks burned pink again.

"Stop it," RJ murmured.

I crossed my right leg over the left. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't tease you. You're just a baby bi trying to understand your feelings. You know you can talk to me. I'm here for you, and I promise to behave." I patted his knee.

"When I kissed Frankie, it was nice. When I kissed Ford and Felix, it was electrifying. Is that what it's like with Andy?"

Yep, he was totally not straight. I was all in for RJ's bi-awakening.

Now was my chance to tell him that Andy was the only one I've ever kissed. "I—" My eyes caught sight of Rand; RJ's dad as he headed our way. "Incoming."

RJ squared his shoulders as he sat up. "Act natural." His brows dipped, and I caught the worry in his eyes. Did he actually think that I was going to out him right now?

"Good morning, boys." Rand dropped an arm around the back of his son's chair. "You didn't come home last night. Everything okay?"

RJ's skin flushed a rosy pink, and I saw the fear in his eyes.

"He stayed with me last night," I blurted out before I could think about it. "You know, we were just hanging out, it got late, and I told RJ he could spend the night rather than risk waking you or anyone else."

Rand nodded. "Cool, bud. Just remember to text me when you do something like that. I get worried. Your Mom got here this morning, and she was hoping to see you." He ruffled his son's hair.

"Dad." RJ rolled his eyes as he pushed his hand away.

My brother and Carson slipped into two empty seats next to me, and the conversation turned to the race. Who thought they had the best car, who might win, and the incoming rain that was threatening to move it to tomorrow.

My mind drifted to Andy again, excitement and fear rolling through my body. What if this was a mistake? What if I let Andy in only for him to hurt me all over again?

"Are you holding up all right?" Noel's voice pulled me from my thoughts. I met his two different colored eyes and gave a quick nod. "I know that you usually go to Ezra for these types of things, but I'm always here for you."

A lump formed in my throat. "Thanks."

"And if you need me to beat him up a little bit, I can do that, too. Well, I'd probably send Wyatt, because he's bigger, but still. You get the idea," Noel teased.

I barked out a laugh. "I'll keep that in mind." But I hoped it wouldn't come to that.

***

I didn't win the Daytona 500. I never expected to. I was racing against the best drivers in the business. I was more than happy with my tenth-place finish, missing the two wrecks and costly mistakes on pit road. It didn't matter because that achievement belonged to my brother. I couldn't have been prouder of Noel. He had worked hard for this, and as I watched Seth rush over to congratulate him before Wyatt appeared out of nowhere, I started to cry. He must have gotten here during the race. I felt like my face was going to split in two. No one deserved this more than my big brother. He had sacrificed so much for me and had found love and a family he wasn't looking for. Even if he pretended he hated it.

I wanted what the three of them had. Love, laughter, and friendship.

Gross, now I sounded like cheesy wall art people hung up in their living room.

Before the race started, I didn't have time to go looking for Andy, but I had figured he was off with the twins, or maybe he'd run into some fans. The few races of mine he had come to before we broke up, Andy was always quiet. He didn't want to interrupt me on the radio while I was driving, and he liked to concentrate on what was going on. I was more than surprised when my crew chief, Riley, told me that Andy never showed up. That didn't stop me from looking for him. I had a nagging feeling...

Andy wasn't here. He had left. Again.

"Boo." Ezra wrapped his arms around me, his familiar scent invading my senses.

I didn't know how he managed to stay so flawless after sitting in the sun all day, hair perfect, and makeup not even smudged. I felt like my insides had been ripped out of my body and shoved back inside.

Ezra tilted my head up. "Tell me you're not looking for him, Leo."

I rolled my eyes and untangled myself from his grip, my chin trembling. I didn't want to cry for Andy again. But when my vision blurred, I shook my head and turned away from my best friend.

"I'm sorry," Ezra whispered. He dragged his palm over my back. "Leo, babe, I know this is hard for you, but maybe it's for the better. I would hate to see you break again."

I sniffed. "I know."

"Would it help if I told you some gossip? Some good tea?" He giggled when I turned to look at him, his dark eyes dancing with mischief. "The twins were in RJ's pit box for most of the race."

"I already know about Felix, Ford, and RJ." Not all of it but most of it.

Ezra's eyes went wide. "And you haven't told me? Are you holding out on me?" He squealed with excitement when Carson came up behind him and yanked him off his feet, his laughter filling the air. He twisted around in his husband's arms and planted a wet kiss against Carson's mouth.

"Hey, princess." Carson's smile was so wide you would have thought he had just won the race. "I actually came over here to grab Leo. They want to take some pictures of the whole team together."

Ezra wiggled in his arms before Carson placed him on his feet. "That's a great idea," he said before he raised a hand and waved at Seth and Wyatt. "I'll go hang with the other WAGs. And"—He leaned forward—"don't think about him, Leo. You're much better off."

My chest felt like it was ripped open and my bleeding heart was exposed for the world to see.

Why didn't it feel like I was better off?