Chapter Forty-Two

Leo

Then

I waltzed into Andy's bedroom. Honestly, it was our bedroom at this point. I hadn't slept in my bed in weeks. Some of that was because I had been living in an RV with my brother for the past couple of weekends while we were racing. When I was here, home, I wanted to sleep next to my boyfriend. My clothes were taking up half of his closet, my makeup, haircare, and skincare were in the bathroom, covering the countertop. I loved it here. This was my home. The Olsons were my family, and Andy, well, he was my soulmate. The one I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

How I got lucky with Andy Olson was beyond me. He was kind, talented, and sweet. He catered to me. My boyfriend was hot, but he was more than that. He always wore a smile, made sure to hold my hand or touch me whenever we were out, and he loved me.

Andy loved me and he wanted the world to know.

I dropped onto the bed face first. The comforter smelled like Andy, all sweet sweat and spicy cologne. My body hummed with happiness, and butterflies filled my belly as my cock thickened. We were saving ourselves for one another. It was something we had talked about a lot since we started dating three years ago. He hadn't punched my v-card yet, and he was the only one I wanted to give it to. So I could claim Andy forever.

Well, we were forever. He said so himself. He told me he loved me, and only me. That he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

"Ricky, you're home." I twisted around to find my dream man leaning against the doorway.

I sprang to my feet. "Hey, hon, I missed you." I linked my arms around his neck and pressed against him. Only he didn't return my embrace. Something twisted sharply inside of me as I pulled back. "What's wrong?"

"We need to talk," Andy muttered.

I glanced up into his hazel eyes and saw something I had never seen before. His brows were furrowed, and his lips were set in a firm line. It was fear and worry. He was always so confident, so sure of himself.

I untangled myself from his arms. "Why? What's going on? Is everything okay?"

He moved to sit on the bed and patted the spot next to him. I shook my head.

"Come on, baby, don't be like this." He sighed when I shook my head. "I just... I think we should see other people," Andy whispered. His eyes drifted down to his hands in his lap as he twisted his fingers together.

"You're breaking up with me?" Tears stung my eyes as I tried to wrap my head around what he had just said. My legs felt like they were going to give out. I felt dizzy, like maybe I was going to pass out or throw up. "Did I do something wrong? I can fix it."

"We can still be friends."

"Don't you dare."

Andy closed his eyes as I stared at him. How could this be happening? Just the other day, he was promising me forever. He gave me a ring and asked me to marry him. Said he wanted a family and everything with me.

"Baby—"

"No." I stomped my foot against the carpet, which did absolutely nothing. "What did I do? I can fix it. Am I too clingy or needy? I can go back to sleeping in my room if you need your space. Move back in with my brother and his boyfriends. We don't have to spend every waking moment together."

"Ricky, it's not you." He dragged a hand through his hair as he avoided looking at me.

I grunted. "You're playing that game? It's not you, it's me bullshit? I love you. Do you not love me anymore?" I dug my nails into my arm to stop the scream that threatened to escape from my throat. How was this happening right now? "Andy, please, talk to me."

"I love you. More than anything. I love you so much, but we're kids. We should explore everything we can before settling down." He glanced up at me with tears in his eyes.

My vision blurred. "Have you met someone else? Some pretty girl with big boobs and blue eyes? Blond hair, maybe? All soft curves and pretty smiles?"

"There is no one else, Leo. There has never been anyone else."

I felt my chin tremble. "I don't want anyone else either, Andy. I want you. Only you."

He stood up and stepped toward me. "You deserve better."

"Don't do this," I begged, and let Andy wrap his arms around me. My entire body began to tremble. "Andy, please, I need you."

He held me so tight as he stroked my hair, his warmth engulfing me. "This isn't how I wanted things to end between us, Ricky."

"Then why!" I exclaimed, and tried to shove him away from me.

Andy was too big, too heavy for me to move.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't want me to find someone else. You would want that person to be you. Because it is you. I won't find anyone else when you're the only one I've ever wanted."

"Baby." Andy cupped my head with his hand. "You need to spread your wings and explore your options."

Sobs began to wrack my body. "I need you ," I whimpered, my tears soaking his shirt. I fisted the fabric between my fingers. "I need you," I repeated.

"I know." He held me again, his thick, strong arms tight around my body. He sounded so cold when he said it. Not like the boy I knew and loved. Like he had already moved on and was thinking about his future without me.

"I don't understand!" I demanded before I pulled away. "Just the other morning you...you..." I gasped for air. "You said that you couldn't wait to get married. We talked about having babies and a family. We even talked about getting a dog. You wanted...you wanted... You gave me that ring."

Andy dropped his chin. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You're sorry? Well, that makes everything so much better."

"We can still be friends. Leo, baby, please tell me you won't shut me out. I want to see you flourish and become an amazing race car driver. You might meet someone else who is your—"

"Don't you dare." I growled through clenched teeth. "You're it for me, Andy. If you met someone else, you could tell me the truth. It might kill me, but I would rather you didn't lie to me."

He flinched. "There's no one else. Only you. It's only ever been you."

"Then why are you breaking up with me? This makes absolutely no sense!" I exploded. I was close to hysterics. Like I was going to running through the house and onto the front lawn, screaming like a lunatic. "You were supposed to be my first. I can only trust you to touch me, kiss me, do all the filthy, dirty things that we talked about. More than we've already done."

Andy's Adam's apple bobbed. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that! It doesn't make this go away." I shook my head. "Tell me the truth. The real reason you don't want to be with me. I don't want someone else to kiss me."

"You're my best friend, Ricky. I love you. I still want to know you even if we're not together. Can you give me that, please?" Andy begged, tears sliding down his cheeks.

My heart was broken, smashed into a million pieces right here on the floor of this room. All the good memories we had made here were going to haunt me. How was I possibly going to live here without him? Without Andy's laugh or his smile or his mouth? I really was going to have to move back in with my brother and his boyfriends. God, the thought made me want to shrivel up and die like a dried-up flower. Had I been stupid to think Andy loved me all this time? That we would be together forever.

"Baby." He grasped my hands. "Please don't shut me out."

I tasted tears on my lips. "Everything was perfect." When Andy didn't say anything, I barked out a bitter laugh. "Did I just imagine it? Was I delusional?"

"No, I just..." Andy's voice faded off as he worried his lip between his teeth. "Don't make this harder than it is, Leo. We were never going to be end game. We're kids."

I stared at him as a fresh batch of tears streamed down my face. What was I supposed to say to that? I thought we were on the same page. "I should go." I grabbed my bag from the floor. "Obviously, I'm not wanted here anymore."

"Where are you going to go?" Andy stood up. "You can stay here. Dad would hate it if you left."

I raised my chin. "But not you."

"Leo, that's not—"

"Tell me the fucking truth!" I screamed, and I knew that Maverick was going to hear me.

Hell, he'd probably be up here in seconds at this rate. I hadn't felt this terrible since the morning I woke up and found my parents gone. The fear that raced through my blood, the thought that I was alone in the house. That no one wanted me. How could the same thing be happening again?

Andy opened his mouth, closed it, and then finally spoke. "I don't think that I can love you anymore, Ricky."

My knees gave out. This was worse than that morning. When I'd woken Noel screaming and crying about how the house was empty. I had imagined a future with Andy. A family. A happily ever after. Wondered what he would look like when we were old. The wrinkles and silver hair that he would have. But that was all a dream that had turned into a nightmare.

"You're a monster. I feel like I don't even know you right now," I whispered as I struggled to get to my feet. I slapped Andy's hands when he tried to help me up. "Don't you dare touch me." I started toward the door. "I hope you're happy. That this is what you wanted." I started to leave the room before I turned back around. "You might want this, because I don't. Not anymore. It's nothing but a lie." I slid the ring he had given me off my finger and threw it at him.

Then I rushed downstairs, ignoring Maverick calling after me, and somehow managed to drive myself to Noel's house without getting into an accident, wondering if anything would ever be the same again.