Chapter Forty

Leo

Andy chewed on his bottom lip. Over and over again he dragged his teeth over the pink skin, digging into it until I thought he would break the skin. He gripped my fingers tightly, not meeting my gaze as his knee bounced up and down. We were sitting in his parents' living room as we waited for the therapist Maverick had found for him to arrive. I was nervous that Andy might freak out and leave. Jump to his feet, tell me that this was bullshit, and slam the door behind him as he left me sitting there to pick up the pieces.

I leaned closer to him, my head on his shoulder, and our fingers still threaded tightly together. I placed my free hand on his knee to try to calm him, but Andy only shook his head and pulled away from me.

"Don't," he hissed between clenched teeth and then reached for my hand again. "I'm sorry, I just... This is scary. I have to tell some stranger about my personal shit. What if they judge me? Think I'm stupid for having all these feelings."

I squeezed his hand. "I know it is, hon. I can't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I want to be here for you. And no professional is going to judge you. They're here to help you. That's literally what they do. And if you don't like this one, you can keep looking until you find someone you feel comfortable with."

"Yeah, I guess." Andy tried to blink away the unshed tears in his eyes. He turned away when they slipped down his cheeks. "Maybe this is a bad idea. I should cancel the appointment, and we could go home. Just lie together in bed until all the bad things disappear."

As tempting as that was, I knew it wouldn't help him. Not to mention I had a few appointments myself this week that I couldn't afford to miss. Just as I went to tell him that, we heard a car pulling up the driveway. The doorbell rang a moment later. Andy sucked in his breath.

"I'll be right here to hold your hand," I assured him. "And when you're done, we can cuddle for the rest of the day and eat chocolate pretzels until we explode."

"Hey, kiddo." Maverick appeared in the doorway with a taller, blond-haired man behind him. "Harrison Gagnon is here." He gave us both a smile and turned to leave.

"Dad." Andy shot to his feet. "You don't have to go. You could stay. I mean, only if you want to."

Maverick gave a faint smile. "I'd love to." He slid the pocket door closed and then moved to sit down on the couch next to Andy, patting his knee gently.

"Andy, it's nice to meet you. Your father has had nothing but wonderful things to say about you." Harrison stepped farther into the room. He looked friendly enough. I couldn't get a read on him as he took in my boyfriend. Harrison held out his hand, and Andy shook it gently, clutching my fingers tightly in his free one.

Andy gave a curt nod. "This is Leo. My boyfriend."

I managed to untangle myself so that I could stand up. "Hello." I held out my hand, and Harrison shook it, giving me a bright smile. He had kind eyes. I would probably spill all my darkest secrets to him if he were my therapist.

"It's a pleasure, Leo." Harrison nodded as he sat down in the chair Maverick had set up across from the couch.

Andy reached for my hand again. "He's staying. Both of them. Dad and Leo. I hope that's okay."

"Of course it's perfectly fine. This session is more about us getting to know one another. If you choose to continue to see me, I'd like a more professional atmosphere where we won't be interrupted. You're allowed to bring whomever you want, but sometimes it might be best if we do this one on one, so you can talk freely without worrying about the things you have to say. And if you decide you don't like me, either because you don't feel we mesh well together or maybe because you once knew a Harrison who maybe had stinky breath or feet, I won't be offended."

I giggled. "Sorry." I covered my mouth.

"Don't apologize, Leo, laughing is encouraged. Crying, too, if it helps." Harrison grinned at me. "So, Andy, why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

He grunted. "You already know. I'm sure Dad filled you in."

"I know what Maverick told me, but I want you to tell me. You can start in the present or the past. Tell me what makes you smile." Harrison crossed his right leg over his left, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small notebook. "I'm a little old school sometimes. I hope you don't mind if I take notes."

Andy chewed on his lip again. "Leo makes me happy." I preened at his words. "I want to marry him. Start a family and spend the rest of my life with him. He's everything." He gave me a shy smile. "I broke up with Leo once, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I have forever to make it up to him."

"Why did you break up with him?" Harrison scribbled something into his notebook, his head down. But when Andy didn't answer, he looked up, his brows raised. "Or if you don't want to tell me, why don't you talk about your band? My daughter loves Princess Bungalow. She has a big crush on the twins."

Andy's knee began to bounce up and down again. "I, uh, fucked up. Sorry. I messed up pretty bad. Someone I trusted told me that I shouldn't be tied down on tour. That maybe I should try exploring my options. I was a fool."

"Who told you that?" Maverick exclaimed.

Andy rolled his eyes. "Dad, don't. I know what an idiot I was to listen. It was the biggest mistake of my life, but Leo has forgiven me. We're going to move forward."

"Mm." Maverick folded his arms over his chest. His eyes flashed angrily as he stared at his son.

I nodded. "I did, and I'm working on forgiving Ford—" I felt myself flush the second his name came out of my mouth. Oops.

Maverick rose to his feet, his fists clenched at his side.

"Your brother? Your brother told you to break up with Leo? Why would he do that, kiddo? He and Leo were friends, too. You were all friends. Unless Ford was pretending." Suddenly it was like a lightbulb went off in Maverick's head. "You didn't." He gasped.

Andy looked confused. "Didn't what?"

"I know that you're only foster brothers, but that doesn't mean you couldn't—"

"Ew, Dad, no!" Andy exclaimed as he shook his head. "Ford is my friend, my brother, and that's it. I've never looked at him like that."

Maverick glanced at me before his gaze moved back to Andy. "So, nothing happened between the two of you. Not even a kiss."

"Dad, stop, that's not... Oh my God." All the color drained from Andy's face. "Did... Do you think Ford told me to break up with you because he wanted me for himself?" He grabbed my hands. "Leo, baby, I swear nothing ever happened. I never even thought about Ford like that. Not even once."

I squeezed his fingers. "I know, hon. I believe you."

"This is fucking crazy." Andy grimaced. "Sorry, sir."

Harrison chuckled. "Swearing is fine, and you don't have to call me sir. Harrison is perfectly okay. It was Ford who told you to break up with Leo?"

Andy nodded, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

"And you never thought that maybe he was doing it for himself? Because he had feelings for you?" Harrison asked, going back to his notebook.

Andy glanced at me before he spoke. "Now that I think about it, he was always, uh, looking at me like maybe he wanted me. I don't want to sound conceited or anything. He just... Sometimes I caught Ford staring at my mouth. He wasn't touchy feely. He never made a move, but there were just a few moments when he would look at me, and I guess I didn't realize why."

"And now that you're back with Leo?" Harrison tilted his head. "How does Ford feel about this?"

Andy shrugged. "Fine, I guess. I mean, I didn't ask him or anything. He's never been too forthcoming when it comes to talking about his feelings."

He wasn't wrong. Ford was locked down like Fort Knox unless Felix was involved. "You could try talking to him," I suggested, then immediately wished I hadn't.

"You think I should?" Andy searched my face. "I don't want you think I return his feelings. I mean, sure I love him, but he's my friend, my family. That's as far as those feelings will ever go."

I resisted the urge to climb into his lap. "Hon, what I think is that you should talk to your brother and make sure he's cool with everything. You're close, and I respect that. I'm not worried that you're going to change your mind and decide you want Ford instead of me. Younger me might have been, but not anymore. I trust you."

"You are so damn amazing, Ricky," Andy whispered.

I dropped my chin and looked away. "I'm not but thank you. I just want you to be happy and comfortable. Fixing whatever is going on with Ford is just part of that."

"I want to try. For you and to make you happy," Andy murmured.

"But what about yourself?" Harrison asked. "Don't you want to try to be happy for yourself?"

Andy's face flushed. "I guess. I mean, sure, but I just want Leo to be proud of me."

Oh, my heart. I leaned forward to press my mouth against his cheek and felt Andy relax at my touch. "I've always been proud of you, hon. Even when we weren't together. You've gone out and done what millions of people only dream of. You reached your dreams."

"No, no, I haven't. Not without making you mine. Forever," Andy told me.

This time, I didn't stop myself from moving into his lap. "You have me. Forever. I promise." And the smile that broke out over Andy's face was all I needed to see for the rest of my life.