Chapter Ten

Leo

After lunch, Andy and I headed outside to check out the guesthouse. I shoved my hands back into the pockets of my jeans so I wouldn't touch him, but my fingers itched to do it. Grab him and never let go. I had already gotten too comfortable with him, and it had to stop before it got out of control. Andy pushed open the door to the guesthouse and motioned for me to go inside first. It wasn't a giant place. It had an open floor plan with two bedrooms nestled in the back. My gaze traveled over every inch, my heart hammering against my chest as I remembered everything we had done.

Right there, Andy sucked my cock for the first time as I sat on the counter, his lips pressed to mine while he peeled my pants down my legs. The moment his mouth wrapped around me,

I came in a matter of seconds. And there, on the floor by the couch, I had given him my first blowjob. Gagging, drooling, and coughing through the entire thing, but I had loved it. Though not as much as Andy did.

Suddenly, I was gasping for air. I couldn't do this. I couldn't share a house with Andy. Not after all the broken promises and excuses he gave me. I would have to see him bring home a date, hear them together... And now I thought I was going to be sick. I shoved past Andy, out the door, and into the fresh air, gulping it into my lungs.

"Ricky?" Andy pressed a hand to my shoulder, the warmth of his skin seeping through my shirt, and I quickly shoved him away. "I'm sorry, I just... I wanted to comfort you."

I spun around to stare at him, tears slipping down my cheeks. "Comfort me? You want to comfort me? Maybe if you go back in time and don't break up with me. Then maybe I wouldn't feel like my heart was being ripped from my chest again." I took a step back when he reached for me again. "Don't."

"It's hard for me, too," Andy confessed, and I didn't miss the way his voice trembled.

I barked out a laugh. "Is it really?" I brushed the wetness from my face. "We can't live together. I can't be around you and watch you with someone else. Fall in love or whatever. It will break me."

"I wouldn't do that to you. I don't know what else to say but that I'm sorry. I know I've said that over and over again, but I mean it. It hurt me, too," Andy whispered, his chin quivering. "I love—"

I clamped my hands over my ears. "Don't you dare! This was a terrible idea. I shouldn't have let you stay with me, and I shouldn't have come here with you today. This is all your fault. All of this! We should be living here, together, happy, and in love, but instead, you decided to break up with me. You said you didn't love me anymore. You can't have it both ways. Just stop lying and leave me alone."

I left him standing outside the guesthouse as I hurried to get away from him as fast as I could. I probably should have left, but instead I found my way inside. I ignored Maverick as he called out to me and found myself going right up the stairs. And standing outside Felix and Ford's bedroom.

I squared my shoulders, knocked on the door, and waited. I could hear the sound of soft talking, followed by footsteps, and then the door unlocked to show me Ford. His perfectly sculpted brows shot up as he stared at me. I envied the flawless makeup, his body-hugging clothes, and in general, the way he carried himself, because that used to be me.

"Oh, hey, Leo." He smiled. "What's up?"

Felix slowly moved behind his brother. "What do you want?" He placed a protective hand on his twin's shoulder.

Their identical hazel eyes stared at me; the lips pressed into a firm line. When I first met them, I couldn't tell them apart, but now... now it was easy. Not just because Ford dressed more like me, but because Felix's eyes were cold and angry while Ford's sparkled with something wild and fascinating. Like he was ready to take on the world.

"I need to talk to you about Andy." I kept my voice down, so it didn't travel downstairs into the living room. Maverick and Jackson didn't need to hear this yet.

Felix chuckled. "I bet you do. Get lost, Leo. We don't want to talk to you."

"Stop." Ford rolled his eyes. "Come in and ignore my brother. He's just a bit spicy today." He waved me inside as Felix continued to scowl at me.

What had I ever done to him? The two of them were the ones who stopped talking to me when the band blew up. Not the other way around.

Stepping into the room was like a punch to the stomach. Ford and I had spent hours here together. Laughing, watching TikTok videos, doing our makeup, and modeling our clothes. We were close, best friends and brothers, and I missed that. I noticed the rainbow-colored lei hanging on his headboard from our graduation party and on the wall, a picture of the four of us in our caps and gowns. Yellow still wasn't my color. It made me look like a sick Victorian child.

"Speak." Felix snapped his fingers, and I turned to glare at him. Why did he hate me so much?

Ford sat down on his bed and patted the ruffled pink comforter. The one we had picked out together. The one that matched mine. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in your pretty little mind."

"Jesus Christ." Felix scrubbed a hand down his face before he flopped onto his own bed. "The two of you should have been twins." It wasn't the first time he had said that. Maybe he was jealous that we were close once.

I tentatively sat down next to Ford. "What's going on with Andy? He won't tell me, and I'm worried. And why does he act like he wants me back? He broke up with me. Not the other way around."

"Snitches get stitches, boo." Ford giggled as he touched my knee. "Don't give me that look. I'm not telling you anything."

Felix grunted. "Liar. You're going to spill your guts like a whore in confession." He climbed to his feet. "And I want no part of that. I keep my friends' secrets."

"What is his deal?" I hooked a thumb at the door once it was closed again. "I mean, does he hate me that much, or did I do something to personally upset him?"

Ford reached for my hands. "Fe doesn't hate you. I shouldn't tell you this."

I wrenched out of his grip as my stomach turned. What if Andy had turned into some big slut and slept his way through Europe? What if he got some girl pregnant and was going to marry her because he was a good person like that? My throat felt too tight. I was going to start screaming and yelling at any moment. I could feel the warmth, clamminess spread over my skin. Why couldn't I just get over him? Find a nice boy who wanted me? Who loved me the way I deserved.

"I can see you starting to panic." Ford hummed. "Andy never touched anyone. At least, not like that."

I huffed. "Yeah, sure." Then I reached over and took both of his hands. "I've missed you, Ford."

Even though I was close to RJ, there were some things he didn't understand. Ezra was like a brother to me, but Ford... Ford was exactly like me in every single way. Losing him almost hurt nearly as bad as the breakup.

"Really?" He squeezed my fingers. "I've missed you, too." Ford gave me a shy smile. "I'm going to tell you something, but you have to swear on your life that you won't repeat it. Not to anyone." He released my hands to stand up, and he smoothed down the front of his shirt.

"I swear," I assured him against my better judgment. This could go terribly wrong.

Ford nodded. "Andy's mom showed up at our last show."

"What!" I exclaimed. I grimaced at how loud my voice was. "Are you serious?"

He sighed. "I'm afraid so, boo. She showed up, flirted her way inside, saying she was Andy's mother, and when we stepped off stage, Andy looked like he had seen a ghost. He wouldn't say a word to Felix or me, but it wasn't hard to figure out. Plus, the way she kept telling everyone she was his mother. How proud of him she was. It was so disgusting. She's the furthest thing from a parent."

"That woman is the devil."

I wasn't sure if Ford knew everything she had put Andy through, but it was obvious he understood she wasn't a good woman. Maybe because his parents were pretty horrible, too. He never spoke about them and neither did his brother. I had been to their house only once before I suggested to Maverick they move in to the Olson house. It had been a house of horrors.

He sat back down. "He's been drinking a lot, too."

"I know. He was pretty plastered when he showed up at the track the other night."

"It's not the first time, either. Felix and I were worried he would start doing something worse, so we started making sure he didn't do anything stupid, you know? We made sure that all the parties we went to were our parties. We never let him out of our sight until he was safe in bed. Then we had our own fun."

I slapped a hand over my mouth to stop the giggle. "Slut," I teased him, and he laughed softly. "Has Andy really not been with anyone? Like at all?"

"I'm not going to say there weren't people who kissed him, but he never brought anyone back to his room or on the bus. He always slept alone." Ford dropped his gaze to his feet.

I nudged his arm. "You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

"No, Leo, never. Not about something like that. You two are soulmates." Ford looked up when Felix burst back through the door. "What happened to you? Did you just run a marathon?" Felix's face was flushed, his eyes wild.

He shook his head. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm going to take a shower." Felix waved a hand in the air, and we heard the lock of the bathroom door as it shut behind him.

"Honestly." Ford dropped onto his back. "You really should go talk to Andy."

"What's going on with the two of you and RJ?" I asked, lying down next to him.

I knew Felix had had a thing for RJ for years, but now it seemed the both of them did.

Ford turned to his side to look at me. "Now that is something I can't tell you. Twin code and all. But you know how my brother feels about RJ. Did you know that Lucas is joining the band once he graduates this summer?"

Lucas was an insanely talented piano player. "That is going to be awesome."

"Yeah, it should be." Ford lightly touched my face. "Friends?"

I smiled. "Yeah, of course."