28. Twenty-Eight

28

TWENTY-EIGHT

I ignored Daisy pounding on my door for three hours the next morning. I didn’t have to show up to shoot until five o’clock, so there was no reason to venture outside of my room. That meant I could hide away for the rest of the day … and that’s exactly what I intended to do.

I told Leo that when I had to give him up it was going to hurt. I didn’t blame him. I knew it was going to happen. He was far too talented to miss out on big opportunities forever. I wasn’t angry that he got the job. I was angry that he hadn’t told me. At least if he’d warned me, I could’ve prepared myself.

Or, more likely, I would’ve found a way to pretend I was okay with it.

Leo deserved every happiness. He was a good man. Sure, he hid under a hard outer shell sometimes, but that was learned behavior from his childhood. It was hardly surprising. At his core, Leo was not just a good man but a great man.

I was really going to miss him.

“Well, well, well,” a voice said from somewhere in my room, causing me to jerk up my head. Daisy stood at the end of the bed, a keycard clutched in her hand. She didn’t look happy.

“You can’t just let yourself into a guest’s room,” I croaked. I’d been crying all night and sounded as if I was close to dying.

Daisy eyed me with an emotion I couldn’t quite identify—was that pity or annoyance?—and then moved to the side of the bed. There, she had to move one of Leo’s shirts because he’d left it behind and I’d spent the night sniffing it like a big loser to get comfortable.

“I’m not in the mood to be lectured,” I grumbled as I tugged the covers over my head again.

“I know you’re not, but that’s exactly why I’m here.”

She managed to catch me off guard with her response. “Are you seriously here to lecture me?” I pinned her with a hopeless glare when I jerked down the covers. “Aren’t friends supposed to coddle other friends when they have to deal with broken hearts?”

“Do you have a broken heart?” She got comfortable on the side of the bed Leo had been using to sleep. It bothered me to see someone else there, although I couldn’t exactly boot her from the room since the hotel belonged to her fiancé.

“What do you think?” I was sullen and looking forward to feeling sorry for myself for the foreseeable future.

“I think you’re being a bit of a baby actually.”

The rebuke hurt. “Well … thank you for that. I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel.”

“You’re not going to feel better if you stay in bed for the rest of your life.”

“It hasn’t even been a full day.”

“And it’s time to get up.” Daisy was firm. “You need to shower—you smell like a moldy jockstrap—and you have to get to set in two hours.”

“I’m thinking about calling in sick.”

“No you’re not.”

“Um … yes I am. Look at me.” Even risking a glance at myself in the mirror across from the bed was torture. My eyes were red rimmed and puffy. My hair looked as if rats were using it as a nest. Leo had essentially run me over with a truck, and I was roadkill.

“Stop it.” Daisy got up from the bed and moved toward the bathroom. “You need to shower.”

I glared at her. “You’re not nearly as sympathetic as I was expecting you to be.”

“If you shower, I’ll be sympathetic when you’re done.”

Even though I wanted to continue feeling sorry for myself, she was right. I wasn’t going to call in sick—that’s not who I was—and I needed to get it together. “Fine.” I stomped into the bathroom with as much dignity as I could muster and slammed the door. “No need to hang around,” I called back to her through the wood.

She didn’t respond, so I had no idea if she was still in the room when I finished with my shower. I stayed under the pulsing hot water for longer than normal, and I was feeling halfway human when I emerged. There I found Daisy had tidied everything up and even stripped the bed.

“Where’s the bedding?” I asked dumbly.

“I threw it in the hallway and had housekeeping pick it up,” she replied. “I figured it was better to get rid of anything that smelled like Leo.”

I was taken aback. “How did you know?”

“Because we’re not that different.” She sat at the small table against the wall and eyed me. “You look better. Your eyes are still a little puffy.”

I instinctively reached up to touch them. “I don’t know what to do about that. I’m going to look awful for filming.”

“I’m having cucumber slices sent up.” As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it.” She was all smiles as she bounced to the door and accepted the plate that was handed to her. “Get comfortable.”

I looked around. “Where?”

“You still have the bed. They’ll put new bedding on as soon as you leave.”

I flopped down on the mattress pad and was still as Daisy placed cucumber slices over my eyes. I wasn’t surprised when she sat next to me again.

“So, I saw Leo,” she started.

My heart did a long, slow roll. “Is he already packing to leave?”

“No. He’s upset.”

“He just doesn’t want to be the bad guy.”

“Actually, I think he’s perfectly fine being the bad guy with anybody but you. He didn’t want to hurt you. He’s mad at himself for not telling you right away. You know why he did it, though, don’t you?”

I swallowed hard. “Because it would ruin the time we had left together.”

“I don’t think he was looking at it specifically that way,” she countered. “That was maybe a small part of it, though.”

“How do you think he was looking at it?”

“I think he was genuinely torn by what he thought he wanted and what he knew he needed.”

I tried to make sense of her words. “I don’t even know what that means,” I said finally.

“I know. You’ll see, though.” She patted my hand. “I get why you’re upset. You fell for him.”

“I knew I shouldn’t. I just couldn’t seem to stop myself.”

“That’s how all great loves start.”

“That’s not what we have, though. I fell in love with him and he’s leaving.” I had to force myself not to cry. I couldn’t look bad the next time I saw him—because we weren’t done filming together yet no matter what—so I had to keep it together.

“I think that you need to open yourself to possibilities.”

“What sort of possibilities?”

“The sort you’re not expecting but will be right there in front of you regardless.”

“I have no idea what that means, and I don’t want to spend a lot of time figuring it out. It’s over. I have to be an adult. I’ll wait until we’re done filming the season to fall apart again.”

Daisy sighed. I could tell she wanted to argue further, but she didn’t. “Fine,” she ultimately said. “Just hold it together for the next few hours. You’re going to regret it otherwise.”

“I have a feeling regret is going to be the name of the game tonight,” I admitted.

“Do you really think you’re going to regret Leo?” She almost sounded sad that I might say yes.

I didn’t have to think hard on my response. “No,” I said in a small voice. “That’s the part that hurts the most. I could never regret him. What we had was too great. It was too special. It’s going to haunt me the rest of my life, though.”

“What’s going to haunt you?”

“Knowing what we could’ve had and lost. One day I’ll see him settle down with another woman, and she’ll get the life I’ll always believe should’ve been mine.”

“Or you could take the life you believe you’re owed,” Daisy suggested.

“What? You think I should force him to stay?”

“I don’t think ‘force’ is the right word.”

“I can’t play the guilt card.” I was resigned to that. “I believe that Leo would stay if I fell apart. He would feel he had no other choice because he’s terrified of hurting me. I won’t be the person who robs him of the future he wants, though.”

“And what if he wants a different sort of future?”

“He doesn’t. I wish he did, but that’s not who he is.”

“Never say never.”

“In this case, it really is never.”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

THE CUCUMBER SLICES DID THEIR JOB AND I didn’t look like a train wreck when I arrived at the cemetery. Thankfully, it was just a small crew tonight. Leo and I had a lot of scenes—five of them—and we had to get through them. The others weren’t part of a shoot, and I was grateful for that.

“There you are.” Miles smiled when he saw me. “I was afraid that you weren’t going to show.”

“I would never flake out on shooting,” I assured him. “I’m a professional.”

“I know you are.” He shot me a reassuring nod. “The door is over there. Why don’t you familiarize yourself with the set. We had to get special dispensation to be able to film here, so make sure you don’t draw on any of the tombstones.”

“I’m sure I can refrain.”

“Okay. I’ll be down there in ten minutes.”

I followed the path to the door, which was unlocked as promised. When I walked through it, the first thing I noticed were the moody lanterns that had been placed everywhere. It cast an eerie—and somehow romantic—glow around the area. In a single word, it was breathtaking.

“Wow.” That was all I could say as I looked around. “Just wow.”

As I finished making my circle, I pulled up short when I found Leo watching me from between two lanterns. He was almost invisible in the shadows being cast from multiple directions, and I had to suck in a breath when I saw him watching me.

“Hey,” I said lamely. I needed to do something with my hands, but my costume didn’t have pockets. “Um … nice set, huh?”

Leo nodded as he pushed away from the wall. His gaze was intent as he scanned my face. “How are you?”

I was expecting the question. “I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” I sent him an awkward thumbs-up. “I’m just going to keep on keeping on.”

His hand covered mine as he finished his approach, and he gripped it hard. “We need to talk.”

I was already shaking my head before he finished. “I don’t want to talk. I’ll start crying again. If you want to know the truth, it took a small miracle to get rid of the puffiness. I just … don’t want to screw up our scenes. If I start crying now, I’ll never stop.”

Leo looked pained. “I knew I should’ve gone to you last night.” He was clearly angry … likely at himself. “Daisy and Jax told me not to. They said I should wait. My gut instinct was to go to you last night, though.”

His intensity was daunting. “Daisy said she saw you.” I pulled my hand back because touching him—knowing it was the last time other than whatever awkward hug we offered up to each other in parting—was painful to the point of being debilitating. “She made me get in the shower two hours ago so I wouldn’t smell for our scenes together. You should thank her because… I really did smell.”

He didn’t smile. He didn’t back up either.

“Are you excited for the new movie?” I tried to put a bright smile on my face so he wouldn’t fall apart. “I bet you are. It will be great.”

“I haven’t said yes yet.”

I almost fell over I was so surprised. “What? Are you kidding me? Why?”

“Because I can’t go without you.”

It was not the response I was expecting. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that … I can’t go without you.” He planted his hands on his hips and huffed out a growl. “This isn’t how I’m supposed to be doing it. I planned a whole big thing. Around that corner over there is a table. It has candles and stuffed lobster for two. I was going to make a big romantic gesture, but I can’t wait. I’m too nervous. I have to do it now.”

I was no less puzzled than I had been seconds before. “You have to do what now?”

“I love you.” He blurted it out as if he couldn’t say the words fast enough.

I had to put my hand out on one of the tombstones to keep myself upright. “What?”

“I love you,” he repeated. His eyes were clear and fixed on me. “I don’t know when it happened. I think I might’ve been feeling it right from the start. You consumed me from the moment I met you. Right here.” He tapped the spot above his heart. “You crawled in and took over.”

I didn’t realize I was shaking my head until I saw my shadow dancing in the flickering flames. “You just don’t want to hurt me.” I forced myself to reach out to him and take his hand. “It’s okay. I knew that this was temporary. It’s not your fault I turned into a big baby.”

“That’s not what this is!”

“I promised I wouldn’t turn clingy and look at me.” I shook my head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I know why you didn’t tell me. You didn’t want to ruin our final week together. I took care of that for you by overreacting, though. Yay, me!” I pumped my free fist. “Don’t let my broken heart ruin your future.”

He closed the remaining distance, not stopping until we were chest to chest. “I need you to listen to me.”

“It’s okay,” I insisted.

“No, it’s not. Listen to me.” He gritted out the words. “I love you. I’m not just saying that because I feel bad about hurting you. And, yeah, I’m mad you’re upset. I’m upset too, though.”

I felt as if I should say something, but I had no idea what it should be, so I just stood there like an idiot.

“I didn’t tell you about getting the role because I wasn’t certain what I wanted,” he continued. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hurt you—although, yeah, I really don’t want to hurt you—but also because I’m not the same guy who had a chip on his shoulder when he arrived on this set.”

He swallowed hard before continuing. “I don’t just want to be the guy in the action movie now. I want to be the guy who gets to curl up next to you every night. I want both of those things.”

My mouth was suddenly dry. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m not leaving the show,” he replied. “Miles and I already talked through it. I can fit the movie shoot in and be back in plenty of time for season two.”

“But you hate the show.”

“I don’t hate the show. I could take or leave the show. I love you, and I want to work with you.”

It was finally starting to sink in that he was serious. “But … how is that going to work?”

“Well, I started planning without you, even though I have it on good authority that I should include you in all future decisions. I had to act fast, though.”

I ran my tongue over my teeth as I debated what to say. It was rare that I was completely and totally tongue-tied, but here I was. I was at a genuine loss.

“We can finish filming the first season together,” he said. “I know you love this place and want to stay, but I feel I need to do this movie. I want you with me for it, though. It’s being shot in Vegas and Vancouver. It will be about three months total. If you go with me, I swear as soon as I’m done, we’ll come back here and start figuring it out.”

My voice was raspy when I spoke. “Figuring what out?”

“Our future. I know you want a house, but I think we should go for a condo for the first few years. I want to do a few more movies in the off seasons. I swear to you that we’ll make it back here in time to enjoy the town every year before filming starts up again on Evermore .”

Was he seriously making plans years in the future? “But … you don’t want a home.”

“I was wrong when I said that. All I could picture is the home I had with my mother and father. A home with you wouldn’t be like that. I already feel like I’m home whenever we’re together.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around this. It was dumbfounding. “But … are you really telling me there’s a romantic dinner over there?”

“Yeah.” His smile was rueful. “Daisy helped me.”

I frowned as I thought back to my earlier interaction with the woman. “She’s really sneaky.”

“She and Jax helped me figure out the timetable,” Leo replied. “It’s going to be tight after this first season, and I understand if you don’t want to go with me.” He swallowed hard. “We can still make it work, though. I’ll try to get out here every other weekend. If you don’t want to leave, I mean.”

Was he kidding me? “Just because I love this place and can see settling down over the long haul here, that doesn’t mean I don’t ever want to leave.”

Hope filled his eyes. Then he calmed himself. “Does that mean you want to go with me?”

I nodded. I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. “I want to go with you.”

He let out a heavy breath. “Really?”

“I love you too.” It wasn’t hard for me to say. I’d been feeling it for weeks. I just couldn’t say it to him because … well, because I didn’t want him to run away before I was ready. Apparently, saying “I love you” meant I got to keep him. Maybe even forever.

He stared hard into my eyes. “Sam,” he said after what felt like a really long time.

“What?” I asked breathlessly. All I wanted was to be wrapped around him. I didn’t care that Miles was likely loitering in the cemetery or that there was lobster getting cold. All I cared about was this moment.

“I’m going to kiss you. If you want me to stop, tell me now.”

“I don’t want you to ever stop.”

His hands were on my waist, and he was already boosting me up. “Is this the part where you climb me like a tree again?”

“Are you actually complaining about that?” Our mouths were hovering a mere inch apart.

“Nope. I was just checking.”

“I can’t believe I almost called in sick to this,” I complained.

He chuckled. “I would’ve gone to you no matter what. I know what I want. I’m not letting it go.”

“You should probably say yes to that movie before we get distracted.”

“No.” He exhaled into my mouth. “I’ll get to it as soon as I kiss you.”

“Okay. Good. You’re right. I like that order better.”

The sparks were there when our lips touched. I was no longer worried about it being the last time, though. We had a lot of first times in front of us. That’s what I was going to look forward to.