Chapter 36

S tepping through the open door, Julian set down the thick brown paper package on the side table and came to stand before Miss Callaghan, her wide eyes following his every movement.

“I called at Stoneleigh Cottage, and your parents said you were here,” he said, hoping to ease into the conversation.

But in Miss Callaghan’s direct manner, she leapt straight to the point. “What do we need to discuss? We know the way things lie—”

“We know the way you think they lie, Miss Callaghan, but I am here to argue that there is no impediment,” he said, shifting in place and finally recalling that his hat was still on his head. Snatching it off, he drummed his fingers against the rim as his heart beat a staccato rhythm against his ribs. The lady had rejected him because she thought him a poet, she thought she did not want marriage, and she thought it would cause harm. If that final impediment was removed, would she hold firm to her rejection?

“I know you have your reservations,” he continued, “and though they are valid, this is our future and our decision, and the only two people who ought to decide this matter are you and me.”

Huffing, Miss Callaghan tore her gaze from him to stare at her hands, clasped tight in her lap. “That is easy to say when you haven’t felt the sting of ostracism. Will you feel the same when your parents cut you off for taking up with me and your family is shunned for the association?”

“I spoke at length with my parents, and they support the courtship,” he replied, fiddling with the hat in his hands. But realizing just how silly it was that a man of his years required their approval, he rushed to add, “They want me to choose for myself, and support whatever decision I make, but they assured me they do not think the scandal is as dire as you believe it to be.”

Dropping his hat onto the armchair before he could crush the rim beyond repair, Julian slid into the one that faced Miss Callaghan. “You should’ve been there to hear my mother scoff at the very notion. I think you wounded her pride, and she is determined to prove how wrong you are.”

Miss Callaghan stiffened, but Julian raised his hands in placation. “Peace. I am only teasing.”

Letting out a sigh, he tried to think of what to say. He’d spent the journey from Holbeck Hall and Stoneleigh Cottage considering his words, for he knew full well that Miss Callaghan couldn’t be coerced into anything. Not that he wished to force her hand, but as intelligent a creature as she could be, she possessed the Callaghan stubbornness.

“I am not asking for your hand in marriage,” he continued. “I simply want the opportunity to see if we suit as well as I think we do, and if you believe I will simply surrender the first genuine interest I’ve felt for a lady in years simply because she believes it might cause harm to my family—despite their insistence that it will not—then you are a fool.”

That was a bit strong, but Julian didn’t regret the word choice. Not entirely. Miss Callaghan sat there, primly perched on her seat, watching him as he continued to ramble on.

“I don’t think it is selfish to pursue someone when the only thing standing in our way is the possibility of pain. Life is fraught with it. We can move slowly to minimize it if need be, but there is no reason we cannot attempt it,” he said, rising to his feet to pace as he spoke.

“If you do not want me as your beau, then say so, but do not throw up more excuses. If it is merely fear, then I will keep hounding you until you see reason or grow so frustrated that you accept my suit just to be free of the vexation. I will write every day if I have to, but I refuse to surrender the battle before the first shot is fired—”

“Yes.”

The single word was quiet enough that Julian almost missed it. Stopping in place, he fixed his gaze on her and found her staring back at him with wide eyes as though she’d surprised herself as well.

“Yes?” he asked.

Miss Callaghan nodded.

“Yes to being my sweetheart?”

Another nod, her expression still as shocked as before.

Arms falling limp to his side, Julian stared back at her, his thoughts crashing into one another as they ground to a halt at this sudden shift. “You are saying yes. Just like that?”

Miss Callaghan’s whole body loosened as her brow furrowed. “Do you wish me to change my mind?”

“Not at all!” he said, coming over to her sofa and sliding onto the seat beside her. “I am just…flabbergasted. I thought it would take more convincing.”

“Thomas and Charity were already breaking down my arguments before you arrived, and it left me reconsidering my choice,” she said, looking at him from the corner of her eye.

“So, we are sweethearts then?”

Miss Callaghan shifted, turning to face him, and when she answered, her tone was far too cautious for his liking, though Julian reveled in the answer all the same. “Yes. But not officially. Or not publicly, rather. Not until I am certain your family is happy about the match—”

“But I said—”

“That your parents do not want to meddle in your life, but that is a far cry from being happy, and I know how close you are to them. I cannot bear being a wedge between you. A courtship is supposed to be a good thing, so it cannot come at the expense of their happiness.”

Julian’s hand slipped around hers before he recognized what was happening, but he couldn’t remain apart from her when she was being so utterly adorable. This was the sort of woman that his parents would gladly welcome into their fold if (or when) the time came, but with Miss Callaghan so unsteady in her feelings, he wasn’t going to press that issue. Time would help her to see better than any assurances he could give.

Sitting so close, Julian felt the pull of her, and he longed for the chance to seal this moment with a kiss. Which was utterly inappropriate, regardless of how right the impulse felt. Courting couples didn’t kiss before they’d gone on a single outing together, and if he was going to soothe her anxious heart about their courtship, then the last thing he wanted to do was to compromise her in any fashion.

“You are my beau,” she whispered, speaking the words as though she could hardly believe it herself, and the thrill of hearing it from her lips pushed Julian to his feet. Tugging her up with him, he swept her into his arms; though it wasn’t wholly proper, holding her close was innocent enough.

It would have to do. For now.

*

When Mr. Knight’s arms guided her toward him, Angelica’s mind leapt forward, imagining the kiss that was to follow. It was too soon. Far too soon. Yet the flutter of her heart testified that the action (however inappropriate) was entirely acceptable to that organ. And when he pulled her to him in a sweet (but chaste) embrace, Angelica couldn’t help laughing at herself when that heart sank.

Once more, she reminded it that she was mistress here—not the other way around—and though that did not soothe her disappointments as it had in the past, Angelica allowed herself to enjoy the exceptionally pleasant feeling of his arms enfolding her as though hiding her from the chaos of the world.

“I am sorry I cannot do this properly,” he whispered.

“I think you are doing this quite well,” she murmured into his shoulder.

Mr. Knight’s chest bobbed, a laugh buzzing through her. “I meant the courtship, my dear Miss Callaghan. Now that you’ve finally accepted my invitation to go on a drive, I would like to remain for a few more days, but I’ve been away too long already. Even if I could steal an extra day or two, I couldn’t get word home in time to arrange it.”

Angelica smiled, her throat tightening as she clung to him and those beautiful apologies he babbled. It was clear how torn Mr. Knight was, yet he was choosing the proper course, even sacrificing his desires to do so. Was there anything more romantic than that?

“I promise I will return as often as I can,” he continued, “but I fear I must leave tomorrow, which is hardly any time at all, but we can write to each other daily if we wish.”

At that, he stepped away (which made her frown) and crossed back to the table to bring over the large bundle that was wrapped up in brown paper and twine. Motioning for her to sit, Mr. Knight set the package on her lap, and when she opened it, Angelica found a treasure trove of paper inside.

“I used the coins you gave me to buy you a mountain of paper—”

But Angelica huffed, her brows rising. “That is far more than those coins could buy.”

Mr. Knight’s expression softened, his eyes holding hers as he took her hand in his once more. “Send me mountains of missives, and whenever you feel the urge to visit your woodland box, write to me. I cannot be with you, but I want you to be free to put every thought down on paper for me. I am sorry, and I wish—”

Reaching up, Angelica pressed her hand to his lips. “Do not apologize for being responsible, Mr. Knight. That was probably the most beautiful thing you could’ve said to me.”

His eyes sparked with a laugh, his lips curling beneath her fingertips, and when she pulled them away, he said in a sultry voice, “I have to see to my responsibilities, Miss Callaghan.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, she set aside the gift and burrowed into his arms. “Say it again, Mr. Knight.”