Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

WESTON

I sat on my couch, staring at my phone like it was a ticking bomb. Easton’s name glared back at me from the screen, taunting me with possibilities and regrets.

“Just text him, you idiot,” I muttered to myself, running a hand through my messy hair.

But what would I even say? Hey, East, sorry I broke your heart and ruined our friendship. Wanna grab a beer? Yeah, that’d go over well.

The silence between us since the cruise felt heavier than any weight I’d ever lifted at the fire station. I’d ended things to save our friendship, but it seemed I’d managed to destroy it anyway. The irony wasn’t lost on me.

My thumb hovered over Easton’s contact, memories of his shy smile and gentle eyes flooding my mind. God, I missed him. His quiet laugh, the way he talked, how he always knew exactly what to say to calm me down after a rough shift.

“Dammit, just do it,” I growled, willing myself to make a move. But I couldn’t. The fear of hearing the distance in his voice, of confirming that I’d irreparably damaged what we’d spent years building, paralyzed me.

With a frustrated groan, I tossed my phone aside and stood up. I strode to the kitchen, snatching my keys off the counter.

As I shrugged on my jacket, my gaze lingered on the framed photo of Easton and me at his college graduation. His proud grin, my arm slung around his shoulders—we looked so happy, so carefree.

“I’m sorry, East,” I whispered, my throat tight. “I really screwed this up.” Shaking off the melancholy, I yanked open my front door. The emptiness of my apartment seemed to mock me as I stepped out, the silence echoing in my ears.

“Time to be useful,” I muttered, locking up. “Maybe putting out some fires will help me forget about the one I started in my own life.”

As I jogged down the stairs, my phone buzzed in my pocket. For a heart-stopping moment, I thought it might be Easton. But it was just the station confirming my extra shift.

I tried to ignore the disappointment settling in my chest as I climbed into my truck. This was for the best. A few more shifts, a little more distance—maybe then I’d figure out how to fix the mess I’d made.

But as I pulled away from the curb, all I could think about was Easton’s warm hazel eyes and the way they’d lit up when he looked at me. And how I might never see that light again.

The station bustled with activity as I strode in, forcing a grin onto my face. “Hey, guys, who’s ready to save some lives?”

“Look who decided to grace us with his presence,” Jake called out, tossing me a helmet. “Thought you were off today, Holt.”

I caught it effortlessly, grateful for the distraction. “What can I say? I missed your ugly mug.”

As I suited up, I threw myself into the familiar routine. The weight of the gear settled on my shoulders, grounding me. For a moment, I could almost forget about my problems.

“Alright, team!” Captain Reeves barked. “We’ve got a brush fire on the outskirts of town. Let’s move!”

The adrenaline surge was exactly what I needed. As we raced to the scene, I focused on the task at hand, pushing thoughts of soft hazel eyes and gentle smiles to the back of my mind.

Hours passed in a blur of heat, smoke, and teamwork. My muscles ached, sweat dripping down my back, but I welcomed the burn. It was easier than dealing with the ache in my chest.

“Nice work out there, Holt,” Jake said as we headed back to the station. “You were like a man possessed.”

I shrugged, aiming for nonchalance. “Just doing my job.” But as the adrenaline faded, exhaustion set in—and with it, the thoughts I’d been trying to outrun all day.

Later, as I sat in the break room, I found myself all alone with my thoughts. I closed my eyes, remembering the way Easton’s lips had felt against mine, soft and hesitant at first, then growing bolder. The memory of his hands, those long, elegant fingers tracing patterns on my skin...

“Dammit,” I groaned, scrubbing a hand over my face. “What the hell have I done?”

The shrill ring of my phone pierced the quiet, startling me out of my reverie. I fumbled to grab it, my heart skipping a beat when I saw the caller ID: “Mama B.” Easton’s mom.

For a moment, I hesitated, my thumb hovering over the screen. What if she knew? What if Easton had told her everything? But this was Mama B—the woman who’d been more of a mother to me than my own. I couldn’t ignore her call.

Taking a deep breath, I answered with forced cheer. “Hey, Mama B! What’s up?”

“Weston, honey!” Her warm voice filled the line. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything important?”

“Nah, just on a break at the station,” I replied, leaning back in my chair. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, everything’s fine. I just realized I haven’t heard from you since you boys got back from your cruise. I called Easton but he sounded tired, so we didn’t get a chance to really talk about it. So, how was it? Did you have a good time?”

I swallowed hard, memories of moonlit nights and stolen kisses flooding my mind. “Yeah, it was great. Really... relaxing.”

“Oh, wonderful! And how was Easton? Did he manage to put down his books and actually enjoy himself?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, picturing his adorable pout when I’d dragged him away from the ship’s library. “He did, actually. We, uh, we tried a lot of new things.”

“That’s my boys,” she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “I’m so glad you two had each other. You know, Weston, I’ve always thought of you as another son.”

Her words, so full of love and acceptance, made a lump form in my throat. If she only knew how I’d hurt her real son. “Thanks. That... that means a lot to me.”

As we chatted, I found myself relaxing, swept up in her warmth and genuine interest. It was so easy to talk to her, to share the funny stories and exciting adventures—carefully edited, of course. But with each word, the weight of what I’d left unsaid grew heavier.

“Oh, before I forget,” she chirped, her tone brightening even further, “are you coming to our New Year’s Eve party? It’ll be just like old times!”

My heart leapt at the thought of seeing Easton again, even as anxiety churned in my gut. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Wonderful! Oh, and Easton’s bringing his new friend, Tanner. He sounds like such a nice young man.”

The world tilted on its axis. My fingers clenched around the phone, knuckles turning white. “Tanner?” I echoed, the name tasting bitter on my tongue.

“Yes, Easton said they met on the cruise. It’s so nice to see him branching out, don’t you think?”

I forced a laugh, but it sounded hollow even to my own ears. “Yeah, that’s... great.”

As Mama B continued chattering about party preparations, my mind raced. Easton, my shy, beautiful Easton, with someone else? The image of him curled up with Tanner, sharing soft smiles and whispered conversations, sent a surge of possessiveness through me so strong it was almost painful.

I wanted to scream, to tell everyone that Easton was mine. But he wasn’t, was he? I’d made sure of that when I pushed him away, too scared to admit how I really felt.

“Weston? Are you still there, honey?” Mama B’s concerned voice cut through my spiraling thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry,” I mumbled, running a hand over my cheek. “Just, uh, got distracted by something at the station.” The lie tasted sour, but I couldn’t bear to explain the real reason for my silence.

“Oh, of course! You must be so busy. I won’t keep you much longer.” She paused, and I could almost see her warm smile through the phone. “I’m just so excited to have everyone together again. Christmas wasn’t the same without you two. I missed you.”

My chest tightened. “I missed you guys too,” I admitted, my voice rougher than I intended. “It’ll be good to... to see everyone.”

As we wrapped up the call, my responses grew shorter, more distracted. My mind was a whirlwind of memories—Easton’s shy smile, the warmth of his hand in mine, the softness of his lips. And now, the haunting image of him with someone else.

“Take care, sweetie. We’ll see you soon!” Her cheerful goodbye barely registered as I ended the call.

The sudden silence in the break room was deafening. My head fell into my hands, fingers gripping my hair as if I could physically hold onto the memories of Easton and me.

“Fuck,” I whispered, the word echoing in the empty room. How had I screwed this up so badly? I’d pushed him away to save our friendship, and now I was losing him completely.

The thought of him finding happiness with someone else should have made me glad—isn’t that what best friends want for each other? Instead, it felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest.

I closed my eyes, picturing Easton’s gentle gaze, the way he could tune out everything else around him when he got lost in a book. The compass tattoo over my heart seemed to burn, a constant reminder of the one person who’d always been my other half. Now, I was adrift, watching helplessly as he sailed away with someone else.

I took a deep breath, feeling as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders as I stood. The station’s hustle and bustle filtered through the closed door, a stark contrast to the turmoil inside me.

“No more running,” I muttered, clenching my fists. “Time to face this head-on.” I’d survived a childhood from hell and fought fires for a living, certainly I could be brave enough to face what was in my own heart.

The thought of the upcoming New Year’s Eve party loomed large in my mind. Easton would be there. With Tanner. My stomach churned at the idea, but I forced myself to confront it.

“I’m not losing him without a fight,” I vowed, my voice low but determined. “Even if... even if it means just being his friend again.”

The station alarm blared suddenly, jolting me back to reality. As I raced out to the trucks, my resolve solidified. I knew what I wanted—what I truly needed—and I was going to fight like hell to get it.