Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

EASTON

I slumped deeper into my worn couch, surrounded by the detritus of my holiday pity party. Empty cookie dough containers littered the coffee table, and a half-empty bottle of eggnog teetered precariously on the armrest. My eyes were glued to the TV screen, where yet another sappy Hallmark Christmas movie played out its predictable plot.

“Oh, come on,” I muttered, rolling my eyes as the leading lady stumbled into the arms of her hunky small-town savior. “As if anyone actually falls for their best friend in real life.”

The words tasted bitter on my tongue, and I felt a sharp pang in my chest. Who was I kidding? I was the poster child for unrequited best friend love. Images of Weston’s sea-blue eyes and that infuriatingly messy blond hair flooded my mind, and I groaned, burying my face in a throw pillow.

“You’re such an idiot, Easton,” I chastised myself, voice muffled by the fabric. “Did you really think playing a happy couple on a cruise ship would magically make him fall for you? It was just a fantasy,” I whispered, the ache in my chest intensifying. “A beautiful, perfect fantasy that you were stupid enough to believe could be real.” I reached for the eggnog, taking a long swig directly from the bottle. The sweetness did nothing to wash away the bitterness of regret coating my tongue.

“You know what the worst part is?” I asked the empty room, gesturing with the bottle. “I can’t even be mad at him. He was just being a good friend, trying to cheer me up and show me a good time. It’s not his fault I’ve been in love with him since... forever.”

I sank back into the couch cushions, letting out a heavy sigh. “And now I can’t shake this stupid longing. It’s like... it’s like I got a taste of what could be, and now nothing else will ever compare.”

The movie droned on in the background, its cheerful holiday music a stark contrast to the melancholy settling over me like a heavy blanket. I closed my eyes, remembering the warmth of Weston’s hand in mine, the way the cool metal of his lip piercing felt against my lips.

“Stop it,” I growled, shaking my head violently. “You can’t keep torturing yourself like this. It’s over. Time to move on and get over this ridiculous crush.”

But even as I said the words, I knew it was hopeless. My heart had belonged to Weston Holt since we were kids, and I was starting to think it always would.

The sudden blaring of my ringtone jolted me from my misery. My heart leapt into my throat as I lunged for the phone, nearly knocking over the eggnog in my haste. Hope surged through me like a lightning bolt as I checked to see if it was Weston, but then my shoulders slumped. Laura.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Easton! How was the cruise?” Laura’s cheerful voice burst through the speaker, deflating my momentary elation.

I leaned back into the couch, running a hand through my disheveled hair. “Oh, hey, Laura. It was... fine.”

“Just fine? Come on, spill! I want all the juicy details.”

I winced, my stomach churning at the thought of rehashing the whole charade. “Really, it wasn’t that exciting. You know, just your typical vacation stuff.”

“Uh-huh,” she said, skepticism dripping from her tone. “And how was all that alone time with Weston? Did you two share any mistletoe moments?”

I let out a strangled laugh. “God, Laura, we’re not like that and we never will be.”

“Easton Beckett, I can hear you moping through the phone. What happened?”

I sighed, feeling my carefully constructed facade crumbling. “It was... it was amazing, okay? And terrible. And wonderful. And completely, utterly heartbreaking.”

The words tumbled out of me in a rush, equal parts confession and catharsis as I told her the whole sordid story, omitting only the most personal details. “We held hands, and cuddled, and acted like we were madly in love. And the worst part is, for me, it wasn’t even acting. I got to live out this perfect fantasy for a week, knowing the whole time it wasn’t real.”

I paused, choking back a sob. “And now I’m back here, alone, realizing that I’ll never have that for real. How pathetic is that?”

Laura’s voice softened, filled with warmth and understanding. “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. That must have been incredibly difficult for you.”

I clutched the phone tighter, grateful for her compassion. “Thanks. I just... I don’t know how to move past this.”

“You know,” she said, her tone tentative, “maybe what you need is a distraction. Something to help you get your mind off Weston.”

I frowned, suspicion creeping into my voice. “What are you suggesting?”

“Well,” she drew out the word, “what about that cute guy you mentioned? Tanner, right? Didn’t he give you his number?”

My mind flashed back to that day, Tanner’s confident smile as he slipped me his number. I felt a twinge of guilt, as if even considering it was a betrayal to Weston. “I don’t know, Laura. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

“Come on. It doesn’t have to be anything serious. Just a casual date, maybe coffee? It might help you remember there are other fish in the sea.”

I chewed my lip, conflicted. “But what if?—”

“What if nothing,” she interrupted gently. “You deserve to be happy, Easton. And pining after your best friend isn’t doing you any favors.”

I sighed, knowing she had a point. “I guess you’re right. But the thought of dating someone else... it feels so strange.”

“Then choose a place you’re comfortable with. Somewhere with lots of people, so you won’t have to fill every second with conversation. No pressure, no expectations. Just two people getting to know each other.”

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Okay. Maybe... maybe I’ll give it a shot.”

I ended the call, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. The phone felt heavy in my hand as I paced the living room, my socked feet padding softly on the hardwood floor. Each step was punctuated by the rhythmic ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner, a constant reminder that time was moving forward, even if I felt stuck.

“This is ridiculous,” I muttered to myself, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose. “It’s just a phone call. Just a date. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

But as I stared at Tanner’s number on my screen, my thumb hovering over the call button, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was somehow a mistake. I flopped onto the couch, sinking into the cushions. “Come on, Easton,” I chided myself. “You can’t keep living in this fantasy. Weston doesn’t feel the same way. He never will.”

The words stung, even in the privacy of my own mind. I closed my eyes, picturing his easy smile, the way his blue eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed. God, I missed him. But Laura was right. I couldn’t keep wallowing in self-pity. With a deep breath, I sat up straight and hit the call button before I could talk myself out of it.

As the phone rang, my heart pounded so loudly I was sure Tanner would be able to hear it through the line. My palms were sweaty, and I wiped them on my jeans, trying to calm my nerves.

“Hello?” Tanner’s deep voice came through the speaker, and I nearly dropped the phone in surprise.

“H-Hi,” I stammered, mentally kicking myself for sounding so awkward. “It’s Easton. From the cruise? You, uh, you gave me your number.“

There was a pause, and for a moment I was terrified he’d forgotten who I was. But then he chuckled, the sound warm and rich. “Of course I remember you, Easton. I was starting to think I might never see you again.”

I felt a blush creep up my neck. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been... dealing with some stuff.”

“No worries,” he responded easily. “I’m just glad you called. What’s up?”

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to do. “Well, I was wondering if... if you might be interested in coming to a New Year’s Eve party? It’s at my parents’ place, nothing too fancy, but...”

“That sounds great,” he interrupted, his enthusiasm evident even through the phone. “I’d love to come.”

“Oh.“ I blinked, surprised by his quick acceptance. “Okay, great. It’s, um, it’s in my hometown. About an hour outside the city. I know that’s probably a bit of a drive, so if you’d rather not?—”

“Easton,” Tanner cut in gently, “I said I’d love to come. An hour drive is nothing.”

I felt a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. “Okay. Well, it starts around nine. I can text you the address.”

We chatted for a few more minutes, working out the details. As I hung up, I sank back onto the couch, my emotions a tangled mess. Part of me felt lighter, hopeful even. But then my eyes landed on an old photo of Weston and me on the bookshelf, and my stomach twisted.

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. What was I doing? The thought of seeing Weston at the party, with Tanner by my side, filled me with a mixture of dread and longing that made me want to call the whole thing off.

But I couldn’t keep living like this, pining after someone who’d never see me as more than a friend. I had to try to move on, even if every step felt like a betrayal of my heart.

I closed my eyes, letting out a long breath as I tried to picture the upcoming party. The familiar warmth of my parents’ home, the twinkling lights, the scent of cinnamon and pine—it all felt tainted now by the looming awkwardness.

“It’s just one night,” I muttered to myself, running a hand through my hair. “You can do this, Easton.”

But my mind kept conjuring up increasingly uncomfortable scenarios. Weston’s surprise when he saw me with Tanner. The potential for stilted conversation over punch and cookies. The midnight countdown, where I’d have to decide whether to kiss Tanner or not, all while hyper-aware of Weston’s presence across the room.

I groaned, flopping back on the couch. “This is going to be a disaster.” At least I’d have my parents there—my rocks, my constant source of support.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad,” I said aloud, trying to convince myself. “I’ll just... focus on Tanner. Be present. Try to have fun.”

But even as I said it, I knew a part of me would always be attuned to my best friend’s presence, like a compass needle forever pointing North—or in this case, West.

“Time to be brave, East,” I whispered, using the nickname only Weston ever called me. “Even if it breaks your heart all over again.”