Chapter 33

33

S he pulled a chair into the far corner and sat down on it. All alone, she watched the comings and goings of the great hall of Struan MacKendimen. It had been her home for nearly half her lifetime and she wanted a few quiet moments here before finishing packing for the morrow's journey. She had accomplished much here, first under Edana's guidance and then on her own. The keep was well-tended and well-run and the MacKendimens had all been taken care of while she was in charge here.

Anice watched as several of the clan's elders made their way into the solar. A short while later, more joined them there. Struan was probably sharing the whole sad story with them, for there were decisions of inheritance and decisions of guardianship to be made this day. She was surprised when she saw Father MacIntyre come out following Struan. The elders must have been asking for the good father's guidance.

She enjoyed the quiet for a bit more before returning to her chambers. Most of her clothes and belongings had been packed on the wagon that would carry her back to her father's keep. The bairn was down for his afternoon nap in Emma's room. A knock at her door drew her attention. After a moment's pause, her mother entered.

"I thought we could talk, Anice, if ye are no' too busy?" Her mother crossed the room and sat down before she could answer. "I have no' seen ye since yer marriage to Sandy last year. And yer letters have been few and far between."

"We were never especially close, Mother. I know Moira better than I do you."

"Ye left to live here when ye were so young, Anice. Mayhap I did no' ever tell ye of yer faither's courtship of me?"

The whole visit was strange and now this topic of conversation made her turn and stare at her mother.

"Nay? 'Tis quite a different tale than most ken. Most have heard that he kidnapped me and held me against my will, ravaging me until I was pregnant. That's no' the truth of it. We planned it together, for my faither threatened to disown me if I did no' marry his choice for me."

"What? I have never heard this."

"Well, 'tis no' a surprise that no one shared this kind of story with ye. Aye, we were madly in love, but yer faither was the son of a soldier and certainly no' high enough in standing to marry the daughter of a duke. My faither had arranged a more suitable marriage for me to the heir of one of the lowland clans and he was about to announce my betrothal. We decided to run away and let out word that he had kidnapped me. We hid away for months, until I became pregnant and there was no way for my faither to refuse his suit."

"Months?" she asked, horrified and fascinated at this story of her parents.

"Well, it took him most of that time to build up the courage to touch me. Finally, I had to do the deed, so to speak, or ye never would have been conceived."

The image of her brusque, hearty father unable to "do the deed" made her laugh. She had never doubted her parents' love, though she had just not heard this tale of it before.

"What if your father had disowned you?"

"His only daughter? Bah, 'twould never have happened. Nay, he knew I was as stubborn as he and that I was willing to live in a cave to be with yer faither. He relented—and no' just because I carried ye."

"Well then, why?" She had to know.

"Because, under all the bluster, he loved me. And he kenned that yer faither did, too."

She thought on her mother's words as she moved from trunk to trunk, organizing her clothes and Craig's. Her mother stood and left as quickly as she had arrived and then the day dragged on relentlessly. Finally night came and she lay in her bed for the last time. The night was no kinder, for she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. The sun's rays poured through her window and she gave up the fight to rest. Every time she closed her eyes, Moira's or her mother's words echoed in her thoughts until she wanted to scream.

She dressed and saw to Craig and then broke her fast with a quick meal of porridge. The sounds from the courtyard entered her window and she looked out to see the final preparations for the journey home being made there. Her father's loud rough voice rose above it all, the frustration in the slowness of the process evident even to her listening above.

She left the room and walked down the stairs to the main floor, then out into the yard and into all the commotion. Observing her father from her place near the keep, she realized that no matter how angry or how busy he was, his gaze softened whenever it lit on her mother. Their story had made her laugh. He caught sight of her and directed her to one of the smaller carts. Emma, who had agreed to accompany her home and care for the babe, stood there already with Craig, waiting to climb in for the trip. She was about to climb in and get settled when it struck her.

Her stupidity made her laugh out loud. She dropped the bag she held and lifted Craig from Emma's arms, directing the girl not to get into the wagon. Then she went to her father.

"I cannot leave him, Father."

"Yer marriage is no' valid, lass. I will make arrangements for a better one for ye." Her mother joined them.

"Then I will ask him to live with me without the bonds of marriage."

Her father inhaled so quickly that he choked. Sputtering and coughing, he yelled at her, "No daughter of mine will live in sin with a man."

"Then I am no daughter of yours," she yelled back, surprising even herself at the power of the words. Robert had taught her about that power and the courage to call on it.

Her father looked aghast at her and then turned to her mother, who stood smiling next to him. "'Tis frightening to hear yer own words come back to haunt ye as my faither said they would, is it no', husband?"

She waited no longer to see what he would do, for she needed to get to Robert and beg him to forgive her for her lack of faith in him. With Craig on her hip, she walked quickly through the gate and out into the village. Following one of the side trails, she soon stood before the well-worn path leading to Robena's cottage. Once she caught her breath, she called out his name as loudly as she could, scaring Craig to tears and startling some of the children playing nearby.

She heard some scurrying inside the cottage and then the door opened. Robert stood there looking at her. She pushed open the gate and walked towards him.

"Please take me with you to Dunbarton... Take us," she said, looking down at Craig.

"Anice, yer father said..."

"I have no father. Will that matter to you? I know it does to most men. If I come to you without dowry or name, will you have me?"

"Ye ken I did no' offer for ye to gain those things, Anice. I'm afraid I canna offer ye the protection of marriage, lass. Not now that ye ken the truth about me."

"Did Father Cleirach know the truth when he heard our vows?"

Robert nodded his answer. So Robert had not deceived the priest.

"Then if my father goes through with the annulment, we will ask him to hear our vows again. Or I will live with you and bear your children without the bond of marriage, Robert." She stepped closer and knelt in the dirt at his feet. "If you will have me, Robert. Please?"

He grabbed her and dragged her to her feet. "Anice, as much as I want ye, as much as I love ye, I canna let ye throw away all that should be yers. And, yer faither will no' stand for this. He seeks a suitable marriage for his daughter."

"I cannot marry someone else, Robert, for I gave you my heart when we took our vows." Tears filled her eyes and she cried out to him once more. "For, annulment or not, we are already married in our hearts."

He recognized his own words and took her, took them, in his embrace. "Will ye regret this later? Will ye wish for the title ye give up now in order to do this? "

"My only regret would be in letting you leave here without me."

He drew her near and touched his lips to hers. Just when she would have opened to him, the crowd that had gathered around them parted and her parents, Struan, Father MacIntyre, and some of the clan elders came through.

"What is this talk of leaving, Robert? Ye canna leave," one of the elders called out to him.

Father MacIntyre approached, carrying several parchments.

"'Twould seem that Struan haes discovered a problem with the original betrothal and the old laird's will. Both refer to Struan's eldest son and heir. When this wording is used, rather than referring to the male issue of a legitimate marriage, all sons were considered, not just legitimate ones. If Struan kenned of the existence of another, older son when he contracted with the MacNab, then he entered into this agreement fraudulently. Since Robert was older than Alesander, he and not Alesander should have married the MacNab heiress. And been named tanist as is the custom here."

Anice looked in confusion at Robert, not quite understanding what had just been established. Her father interrupted.

"So ye are saying that if Struan kenned of Robert then Anice's marriage to Sandy was invalid?" Her father snorted and huffed, not used to having anyone interfere with his plans.

"Aye. And Struan haes already signed a statement attesting to that prior knowledge. Although it will take some time to file the papers with the courts and with the church, it appears that Anice's first marriage was invalid. That is, of course, if Struan acknowledges Robert as his heir before the clan."

Anice did not dare to hope that everything could be settled this easily. If Struan was going to call him son, why wait until now? Why not do it earlier? How could Struan punish Robert with exile and then wait through all of this?

"No, Struan," Robert said, surprising her with his vehemence. He shook his finger at Struan, who looked very tired. "'Tis too late to hear the words from ye. "

"Come, Robert, let us speak in private. Please hear me out before ye decide." Struan's voice was roughened with emotions.

"Anice, come with me? For this is about ye and yer son as well."

Robert held out his hand to her and she followed him and Struan into Robena's cottage. When she shifted the babe to a more comfortable spot on her hip, Robert lifted him from her and placed him on his shoulder. She looked at Struan, but not before catching sight of Robert rubbing Craig's head and placing a tender kiss on the babe's forehead. What a fool she had been to ever doubt him.

She caught his gaze and he smiled at her, embarrassed a bit by being seen in that tender moment. Then Struan cleared his throat.

"When yer maither came and told me she was carrying ye, Robert, she made me swear never to openly acknowledge ye as mine. In spite of the love we shared, she did not want Dougal hurt by our affair. I did no' see her again as her lover and we did no' speak again until the night she bore ye and died. She begged me once again to keep yer parentage a secret to protect Dougal and I held to our bargain." Struan paused and took a deep breath.

"I was faithful in my heart to Edana for our whole marriage except that brief time with Glynnis. When Edana discovered the truth, as women always seem to, it destroyed her. The only thing that would begin to heal the rift between us was my promise to never let ye inherit over her son. Alesander had been born a few months after yer birth and the fact that Glynnis had given me a son first ate at Edana. Through the years, I watched ye grow into a man and kenned that others saw the resemblance. Somehow, Edana found out and confronted me that night over nine years ago. Once Dougal found out, he treated ye differently. I could no' openly accept ye, so I arranged with Duncan to foster ye there."

"So you kept the promises made to everyone else and abandoned your own flesh and blood?" Anice asked. Robert looked at her in surprise.

"'Twould seem so," Struan answered in a strangled voice .

"Robert, you do not need him. Duncan will make us welcome there." She was furious upon learning the truth. How Robert had grown into such a loving and wonderful man, under circumstances like these, she could not imagine. Then she realized that Duncan and Margaret were the answer to that.

"Anice, ye have the most to gain or lose by his words. If he acknowledges me and yer marriage to Sandy is invalidated, I gain title and position, but yer son loses it. If we refuse his words, ye will lose title and position and must be contented to live outside the bonds of marriage, but yer son will inherit."

Before answering, she looked to Struan.

"But what of your promises and pledges to Glynnis and Edana and Dougal? Can ye simply forswear them? Yer word will no' be accepted again by allies or enemies," Anice asked, reminding Struan of the other complications that would come from this.

"I have lived my life in service to this clan. Every decision I have made haes been made with that in mind. If setting things to right is best for the clan, then I will do it and let those promises rest with those who died."

She looked at Robert and saw that he was torn between wanting his father to say the words and leaving it all behind. When he looked at her, she smiled and let him know that she would be by his side no matter what course life took. He took her hand in his and kissed it.

"Do not let your pride get in the way now, Rob. Take what he offers if that is what you wish."

"And Craig's place?"

"Craig will lead the clan if it is his destiny to do so."

"Then, Struan, I will accept yer acknowledgment."

Struan grunted and turned to leave. The gesture was so much like Robert she wanted to laugh out loud at it. He led her outside, where an even bigger crowd had now gathered to hear Struan's declaration that would begin a process to right the wrongs done so many years ago to him.

He walked out before her, carrying her son, whose life he had saved, in his arms. Her heart felt so full of love she knew that the life before them would be filled with happiness.

As Struan made his announcement, Robert leaned close to her ear and whispered to her. "Have my children, did ye say?"

She felt the heat of a blush enter her cheeks at his words. "Aye, I think I did say something like that."

"Can I make ye my prisoner like yer faither did to yer maither?"

"Only if I can make you mine."

She looked at him and saw the promise of passion and pleasure and love in his eyes.

"I am yours, my lady Anice."

"Nay. Say it the way you usually say it. When you thought I did not notice."

"My... Anice." He put his arm around her shoulders and drew her close.

"Aye, my... Robert."