Chapter 30

30

T he next week moved quickly for her. For the first time since her marriage, Anice felt like her old self and worked on a daily schedule with Connor. A year before she had not been able to complete many of the tasks usually undertaken in the autumn so she wanted to be prepared for the coming change in seasons. The clan, still uncertain of how she and Robert came to be married, yet unwilling to involve themselves in the estrangement between them and Struan, missed nothing.

Robert continued to work with the warriors and to improve the defenses of the castle and village. He and Struan seemed to forge some kind of understanding, for she did not notice the outward signs of their dispute. She would like to have known how he gained Struan's compliance, but feared asking either one. Anice decided to allow her husband to worry about that.

She did fret about her father's reaction to this. The fact that he had said and done nothing in response to the messages Struan must surely have sent, did make her nervous. When she tried to discuss it with Robert, his reply was the same—he would handle it.

What concerned her most however was how to take the first step towards what she really wanted. Her body's reaction to his nearness, his smiles, his movements, told her she was ready to try. She did not know how he maintained such a calm demeanor around her, for she knew he caught her staring at his hands and at his mouth as she remembered the feel of them on her that night. The heat that surged through her at those moments was as enticing to her as he was and she searched for a way to make it happen. However, it was her uncertainty about the terror returning that kept her from taking that first step.

One evening at dinner, she looked around the hall and searched for Robena. Something tickled her mind and she thought that mayhap the woman could help answer her question.

"Robert, I do not see your friend here. Does Robena not eat in the hall?"

He choked on the food he was swallowing when she asked and it took several minutes and several mouthfuls of ale before he could speak again.

"I have no' seen her since that night, Anice," he said in a low voice. "I think she fears yer wrath about what happened here."

No words about Robert's behavior that night had been spoken since then, so she was puzzled by his comments. Robert had sworn that nothing had happened between them and she took him at his word. No one had asked how she felt about it, but 'twas obvious what they thought.

"My wrath? Why, Robert? What have I ever done to make you think I blamed her for your stupidity that night?"

She fought to keep the smile from her lips. Her words almost exactly echoed his own when he asked about her preconceived notions of him. And she waited for his reaction when he realized that she insulted him. His mouth dropped open and he stared dumbfounded at her. It felt good to tease him like this.

"Kenneth?" she called out. When the boy approached, she spoke again. "Go and fetch Robena to me, please."

When the boy had left on his errand, she turned back to find her husband still staring at her.

"Truly, Anice, she should no' bear the brunt of yer anger. I was to blame for the foolishness that night." He reached for her hand and then stopped, clearly unsure of whether he should touch her or not.

"I only wish to speak to her, Robert. And if somehow I have given the clan the idea that she should be punished, then I want to correct that up now."

He looked as if he wanted to say more, but he took another drink of his ale instead. A few minutes passed and Kenneth entered the hall, followed by Robena. No one greeted her as they had just weeks before and no one offered her a seat at their table. Instead, the sound of hissing could be heard as she moved through the room. A few men even spit on the floor as she passed by. As she came closer, Anice could see the fear on her face. She stood and walked down the steps to meet her. Robena dropped into a deep curtsy before her, but Anice grabbed her hand and made her stand.

"Robena, thank you for coming so quickly. Will you join me in the solar?"

As they made their way through the crowd, Anice asked her if she'd eaten yet. When Robena said no, she asked for someone to bring a tray to them in the solar. She knew exactly what her actions were saying to those who witnessed this. She could not allow the good that she had done in getting this woman accepted by the people to be lost because of her problems with Robert. She hoped this meeting would be enough without saying something more direct.

A short while later, after the tray had been delivered and after Robena had been assured that Robert had spoken on her behalf, Anice was ready to discuss the real reason behind her summons.

"I need your help, Robena."

"My help, milady? How can I help ye?"

Anice stood and walked over to the large window on one side of the room. This would not be easy—for either of them—and she did not know how to begin. She heard Robert's voice in her mind telling her to just say it. She smiled at his straightforwardness.

"How did you get the courage to take men to your bed after Sandy's attack?"

Anice turned at Robena's gasp. 'Twas as she feared—too personal a question even for a whore.

"Milady, are ye certain we should speak of this? He is dead and buried and I would prefer no' to think about that."

Anice walked to her side and taking the woman's hand in hers, she looked directly at her. "I think you know that he did to me what he did to you?" Robena answered her with a shaky nod of her head. "I need to get past it as you have." At her frown, she added, "For Robert."

"Milady, I will no' speak to ye of my times with Robert..."

"Nay, I do not expect you to break any of the confidences you hold from times you... saw him before we were married. But, Robena, I will not share him with you now that we are. No matter the state of our marriage, I cannot allow that."

She was bluffing of course and in spite of the fact that she thought that Robena knew it too, the woman nodded in agreement. No woman could keep a husband from sleeping where he would and spreading his seed where he wished. In spite of that, Anice could issue this ultimatum to Robena and hope the woman would do her best to abide by it.

Anice walked to the chair next to Robena's. Sitting in it, she looked at the whore. "I want to... I wish to fulfill my... Robert wants..." Oh, damn, she thought, this was simply not something a lady spoke of to another woman.

"Ye have no' slept with Robbie yet? Is that the problem?"

"Aye," she whispered, now unable to meet Robena's gaze.

"And ye wish to?"

The heat stole into her cheeks. "Aye."

"Can ye answer my questions so that I might help ye in this?"

Anice glanced up and found a look of concern on the woman's face. She dared to hope that this might work after all.

"I will answer what I can."

"Haes he kissed ye?" She nodded but Robena shook her head. "As a man kisses his lover? No' simply on the cheek, but in yer mouth?"

Thoughts of his tongue in her mouth and the waves of heat those feelings created filled her mind. "Aye."

"Haes he touched ye? On yer breasts and there?" Robena pointed to the junction of her thighs. She could almost feel his fingers approaching that place again, and as his fingers had done, even the memories caused the wetness to seep there.

"Aye," she said a bit breathlessly.

Robena smiled at her; obviously the signs of her arousal were not missed by someone who made a living at creating that condition in her patrons.

"When did the memories come upon ye? When he tried to enter ye?"

She did understand! Anice wanted to cry in relief as she knew then that Robena had gone through the same thing.

"Nay, he did not put himself inside me. It was a simple thing, a touch of his teeth on my neck."

She saw the shiver move through Robena and knew they shared another shameful experience. But if Robena could resume her activities, mayhap Anice could learn to take Robert into her body.... She did not need or expect to like it; she really only need tolerate it... for him.

"Forgive me, Robena, for reminding you. I..."

"Nay, milady. 'Tis fine. Let me tell ye how I managed to hold the bad memories at bay. Of course, I was already more experienced in this than ye are. I kenned that it did no' have to be this way."

Anice nodded. Robena had been a whore for some years before Sandy attacked her, not a virgin bride, completely inexperienced and untouched.

"I was able to choose who I would tup after that and I chose men who I kenned would be gentle and even fun. Then, when I would feel the fear gaining a hold of me, I would make sure to keep my eyes open and watch them. And if the fear came, I would think about the good feelings they kindled in me."

"You watched them? While they...?"

"Aye, milady. Keep yer eyes open so ye ken who it is. Another question for ye, if ye dinna mind?" Anice nodded even as she thought over this approach Robena suggested. She had become confused in her terror and could not tell who was with her. Visions of Sandy's face had merged with Robert's until she did not know. Keeping her gaze on his face might help.

"Does he make ye wet... there?" Anice followed Robena's eyes and nodded again, unable to admit that even now she was.

"Then if ye feel the fear beginning, just concentrate on how he makes ye feel there. Think only about his hands and his mouth on ye. Keep watching him."

Anice sat back and reached for the cup of ale on the table. Her face felt overheated and she could feel the sweat dripping down her back. She pulled out a linen square from her sleeve and mopped her brow.

Robena laughed at her actions. "If just talking about doing this with Robbie gets ye that way, ye will be fine."

Anice stood and Robena followed. They walked to the door, but before Anice could open it, Robena touched her hand.

"Milady? I have kenned him since we were bairns. He is a good man, a special man. If ye but give him a sign, he will take care of ye in this."

"I know that, Robena. He is waiting on me for that sign. And I do not know what to do."

"Touch him the way ye like to be touched. Kiss him the way ye like to be kissed. Tis simple, really."

"I will try. I owe him that much." Anice reached for the handle of the door, but Robena stopped her again.

"Ye do no' do this because of obligation, lady. I can see the love ye bear for him in yer eyes when ye speak of him."

She tried to smile, but tears filled her eyes at Robena's truth.

"And he does no' ken, does he?"

Anice could only shake her head.

"He's a good man, milady, but more than a little bit daft if ye ask me."

Their laughter filled the solar and spilled into the great hall when she pulled the door open.

They were laughing? He stood to watch the two women in his life come out of their encounter and to see if both were unscathed. And they walked out of the solar laughing? 'Twas certainly not what he expected.

He wanted to go over and find out what they spoke of, but this really needed to be settled by Anice. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled as he watched his wife and his friend approach the dais. Anice climbed the first two steps and then turned back to Robena who still stood below on the floor.

"Robena, you are still welcome to join in our meals here. "

"Thank ye, milady," Robena answered as she curtsied before Anice. "If ye have need of me, please call on me again."

Robert could see that this was for show, to let the others know Robena was permitted in the keep once more after his indiscretion, but something else was going on here. He watched the two of them closely and thought he saw Robena wink at Anice as she turned to leave.

He remained standing until Anice was seated next to him. When he sat, he could see her eyes were filled with merriment. It did him good to see that. Too many of her days had been spent in dread and fear and he would make her laugh if he could.

He took her hand and brought it to his mouth, touching his lips gently to her knuckles. "Ye have my thanks once again for treating her with kindness."

"She is quite an... enlightening woman."

Those hairs tingled again and he wondered just what they had discussed. Anice reached over and took a wedge of cheese from the platter near him. Whether meaning to or not, she brushed against his arm. That was all the contact it took for his body to react—and react quickly and with vigor. His nightly swims in the loch were the joke of the other men, although Brodie assured him that they did not know the true reason behind them.

He walked around hard as granite most of his days and all it took to put him in that state of being was one look at her, or one word, or that damned smile of hers. He'd been caught more than once lately in their room when she woke and he was forced to watch, through nearly closed eyes, as she slid from the bed. She would stand and shake her hair free of its braid before pulling it into a fresh one for the day. His fingers would begin to twitch and then his cock would harden as he watched the flimsy nightgown she wore to bed glide over the curves he wanted to touch.

Mayhap sleeping on the bare stone floor would make him so uncomfortable that this reaction would not be possible.... If he thought it might work, he would try it. However, since he continued to catch her staring at his mouth, it was difficult to divert his thoughts .

She interrupted him at that point, which was probably a good thing considering the path his thoughts were taking. Another sleepless night he could do without.

"I will retire now, Robert, if you do not mind?"

He looked at her carefully. Her face was red and tiny beads of sweat lay on her upper lip. "Are ye well, Anice?"

"I am just more tired than usual."

"I do no' mind. Mayhap ye should rest tomorrow?"

"Nay, Rob. I am certain to feel fine after a good night's sleep."

As he watched her walk away, he calculated the length of time that his nightly jog to and around the lake would take and his nightly swim. Even if he took the longer path, he could be back at a reasonable time and she would already be asleep. Mayhap he could also get a full night's sleep.

His bedding was laid out before the fire as it always was.

Anice made certain that he would only have to climb under the covers and not have to fuss with the preparation of it. He closed the door as quietly as possible and walked over to check on the babe. The cradle was empty and he looked to the bed, for sometimes she took Craig to sleep with her there. He was not next to her. She must really be tired if she asked Emma to keep him tonight, he thought.

He peeled off his plaid and shirt and stretched before the warmth of the fire. His hair was still damp, for even the long walk back to the keep from the loch did not give it sufficient time to dry. As he stared into the flames, he thought he heard a noise from her bed and he turned to check on her. She coughed in her sleep and turned to her side.

Turning back to the hearth, he pulled his bedding a few feet more away and then climbed inside the layers of wool. He had just started to drift off to sleep when Anice stirred in her bed. She slid out of the bed and he frowned. She usually only left her bed to check on the babe, but he was not there.

Instead he watched as she walked towards him. When he would have spoken to her, she signaled him with a finger on her lips to remain quiet.

She stood next to him and then knelt beside him. As she leaned over, he thought to say something, but he was gifted with the touch of her lips on his. Her mouth moved on his, pressing and sliding until he opened for her. Her tongue licked over his lips and then he felt her slip it inside. The urge to grab her and take her almost overwhelmed him in his surprise. He fought to control himself and let her lead the way this night.

She deepened the kiss and he followed her motions, lip to lip, mouth to mouth, tongue to tongue. Anice moved closer and he felt the soft caress as her hair fell around him. He opened his eyes and found her looking back at him. She lifted her mouth from his and he felt her fingers tracing his lips and then his chin. She slid them down over his neck and onto his chest. Swirling them around in the hair on his chest, she moved them slowly towards his own nipples. Tingles of pleasure shot through him and he waited with a heightened sense of anticipation for her next touch.

Pushing the covers down to his waist, she explored every inch of his skin. The touch of her lips where her fingers had been sent shivers from his head to his feet and the pulsing in his cock grew even as it did. She was mimicking his actions of that night, he realized, but that did not stop the gasp when she licked his own flat nipples with her tongue. If he had thought that sleeping in the same room with her was torture, he'd been a fool. He sensed her need to control this and struggled to lay compliant beneath her searching fingers and questing tongue.

The groan that burst forth as she reached beneath the plaid could not be helped. Whether she stopped because of the sound of it or due to her own sense of reticence, he did not know. He only felt her fingers still on his skin. Looking down to see what she saw, he saw her gaping at the outline of his cock, erect and pulsing under the layer of plaid.

"Touch it through the plaid if ye dinna want to touch it beneath." His words came out as the frank plea they were. He would beg her if it would make her hand move once more.

If he thought that the layer of wool fabric would dull the fierceness of his arousal, he was wrong. All she did was move one finger around and over his cock and then she followed the contours of the sac and balls below it and he was lost in the waves of heat she created. He was ready to beg her for more when he felt the plaid slide down his hips and onto his thighs. He looked at her face, almost fearing what he would find in her eyes. Trying to lessen her apprehension, he smiled at her. She was killing him.

Wrapping his hands in the layers to keep them from reaching for her, he tried to breathe normally to calm down before she touched him flesh to flesh. It did not help at all.

First she repeated what she had done on the plaid, sliding her fingers over the surface of his erection and then down to the sac. Then—and he could not control the groan that escaped as she did it—she cupped her hand around him and stroked him. Another moan tore from him and she stopped.

"Nay," he moaned hoarsely. "Dinna stop."

"Do I hurt you, Rob?"

He gritted his teeth and shook his head. Satisfied by his reply, she repeated her actions again and again until he knew his seed would explode from it. He loosened his hand and grabbed hers before he reached the point of no return.

"I need to touch ye, Anice. Please let me touch ye?"

She looked confused for a moment and then shifted next to him.

"Should I lie down?"

"Lie, sit, stand, or hang from the bed, I dinna care so long as I can touch ye." He laughed at the innocent bewilderment in her expression. "How would ye be more comfortable?"

"I do not know, Robert." He detected guileless frustration in her voice; she was just as aroused as he, but did not know what to do about it.

"Come closer," he said, sitting up. "Step over here and sit down."

She frowned until she placed one foot on each side of him. He lifted her nightgown as she slid down on his lap. With her legs spread, she was open to his touch and he was to hers.

"Oh," she whispered and he adjusted her knees and brought the part of her that he knew ached closer to his hardness. "I ache," she moaned, as though she had heard his thoughts .

He touched her as he had the other night, tracing the fullness of her breasts through the silkiness of her gown. She arched again into his hands and he resisted the urge to use his mouth. Sliding his hands down to her legs, he pushed the gown out of the way and moved towards the very heat of her. Anice moved restlessly in his lap, until his fingers touched the dampened curls. Then she moaned as he had and the sound of it gladdened his heart. Waiting for her to adjust to that touch, he moved them in a bit deeper until he heard another moan. Her head began to fall back, but she opened her eyes and stared into his instead.

Robert lay back and began to move his fingers deeper within the cleft. Stroking over the wet heated folds, he watched her face for any sign of fear. When it did not happen, he slipped one then two fingers inside of her, always sliding gently in the moisture she created, never rough or fast. Her body began to follow the rhythm he set and she kept her gaze on his. She moved forward on his hips and rubbed herself against his erection.

"Help me, Robert. Show me what to do."

"Are ye sure, Anice? I would no' want to hurt ye."

"I trust you. Make me your wife now."

If he thought he could be noble at a time like this, he was wrong. His cock surged against her and he wanted to bury himself deep within her. Guiding her up with his hands on her hips, he paused for the tiniest of moments to give her a chance to stop him. She was looking at his face and not at his erection, so he pressed into her. Inch by inch, he entered her as slowly as the Almighty gave him the strength to do, praying that it would be good for her. He felt her stretch around his length and width and she moved ever downward on his shaft until he was in as deeply as he could go.

The expression of wonderment on her face brought tears to his eyes. He waited until she was accustomed to him inside of her like this and then he lifted her and drew down a bit. She gasped and then smiled.

"Do that again," she ordered. He was obviously bedding the imperious Lady Anice.

"Aye, my... Anice," he groaned out as she worked with him and made the movements exquisite torture to him.

He was not certain, after another slide, whether he or she controlled it, but he gave himself over to the throbbing pleasure. He could feel his sac tighten and his peak approaching so he slipped his finger within her folds once more and found the little bud he knew would help her reach hers. Using the wetness that poured from her, he moistened it and then gently tugged on it. From her frantic movements, he knew she was close. He held off as long as he could until his body refused to obey and his seed gushed forward into her. He pulsed and throbbed inside her as her inner walls answered with their own waves of pleasure. Now her head dropped back and a moan resonant with sexual fulfillment echoed through their chamber.

She collapsed on his chest and soon only their labored breathing could be heard. He felt his cock slip from her body after a few minutes and he waited for her to say something. Her hair flowed over him as he once dreamed it would and he drifted off to sleep, completely contented for the first time in a very long time.