12. Jordan

TWELVE

I didn't expectto sleep at all. When I returned to my room and laid down on my bed, I couldn't slow down my speeding mind. I couldn't keep still. The immensity of what we had done and the pleasure of finally — finally! — getting this chance was enough to make my heart race. Yet the sweet innocence in his eyes when he did the filthiest things with his mouth was more comforting than I could have imagined. Something about that duality made me feel safe after making a decision without considering the consequences.

In one night, our worlds had changed so monumentally that it felt like we swapped our personas. He was the careful one and I was the one who acted without thinking. It was the complete opposite of what we were like on the ice or in the team house.

As the initial excitement drained away, tiredness set in. I slept until the sounds of the waking house stirred me. When I got up, I could swear I had been dreaming. I could swear it had involved Asher. But the dream faded before I could catch it and call it back.

Downstairs, I appeared before Asher. Dad was serving breakfast and Eileen was on the back porch with a book in her hands. "Morning," she greeted me. "You boys are having a late start."

Long night, I thought. It was a good bargain. It was worth all the sandiness in my eyes and more. It was worth the cost to our souls, too, if you asked me. I was done being the timid, careful creature who refused to live altogether because others might disagree.

"Summer break," I murmured, my voice groggy.

Dad brought out plates filled with scrambled eggs. "Is Asher coming?"

I shrugged. "Didn't see him." I couldn't think of a reply that matched my normal replies better. Besides, it was almost true.

But Asher showed up in the next heartbeat. His locks were tousled from sleep and the many incredible things we had done in the night. His lips were full and beautiful, drawing my attention almost like nothing else existed around us. And his eyes were tired, but they twinkled nevertheless. "Morning," he said in a sleepy voice. He dropped into his chair without looking at me. In that deliberate avoidance, I felt a connection stronger than anything he could have conveyed by meeting my gaze. My stepbrother, my accomplice, my lover.

An awkward breakfast was nothing unusual. Looking around the table at the silence that felt thicker than the butter I was spreading over my toast, I decided we were not too unlike instant mashed potatoes. We'd been mixed together quickly, and the ingredients were all there, but the results were less than worthy of a finger lick.

I excused myself while Eileen pushed her scrambled eggs around the plate with a fork and Dad drank orange juice from a big glass that hid half of his face. As I walked away, Asher perked up and lifted his gaze to follow me. I watched his mind work and questions pop into his eyes. I was barely at the foot of the stairs before I heard him leave the table.

Back in my room, I held my breath and tried to shake off the awkwardness at breakfast. It's all the same, I told myself, but I was perpetually aware of the new big thing at the breakfast table.

There was the quietest knock on my door and the knob turned as I looked over my shoulder. Asher slipped inside and shut the door, then leaned back against it. He scanned me shamelessly with his eyes, his lower lip clamped between his teeth. Then, lifting his chin, he said, "Thanks for wearing a T-shirt down there."

I wanted to laugh now that I realized what torture it must have been for him the countless times I had strolled around in little more than my shorts. Summers were freeing like that and I enjoyed letting my body breathe a little. "Thank you for not being a total awkward freak."

He shot me a mock-offended look. "Do I look like I might freak out?"

I made a heavy step toward him, forcing him to lift his head if he wanted to keep looking into my eyes. "You've been known to have temper tantrums." A smile trembled in the corners of my mouth as Asher pouted.

"Well," he huffed, amusement apparent in his voice. "I think we both know you'll keep me in check."

I placed my left hand above his hip, feeling his tensing muscles. As we closed the distance between us, I leaned a little down. "I wanna be alone with you."

"The lake?" Asher asked.

"That's what I thought," I said.

"It's gonna be weird if we go together, huh?" Asher mused as he lifted his head and rose on his toes by a fraction of an inch. His sexy, sinful mouth hovered so close to mine that I could almost taste the sweetness of the orange juice on his lips.

"Might be," I said. "I'll wait for you there."

Asher didn't shy away from showing me just how needy he was. He thrust his hips forward, his crotch pressed hard against mine and swung gently left and right. "Okay," he whispered. "I have stuff to do anyway." A spark of mischief lit in his eyes.

I teased him by feathering my lips over his, almost tickling before I kissed him so deeply that he couldn't mistake this for anything other than a promise of infinite pleasure when he met me at the lake.

After Asher let himself out of my room, a sense of longing combined with a feeling of purpose moved me to action. I made a round of the house, filling my backpack with all the things we might need. Towels, my little handbag with supplies, snacks, a bottle of wine from Dad's cellar, and some sunscreen.

I headed out quickly, leaving some bickering between Dad and Eileen behind me. It smelled sour to me, but I had other things to worry about. Everything I did had to be considered against my usual behavior. To risk sounding like a total asshole, Eileen and Dad having something to fight about was a good way to fly under the radar.

I dropped my backpack on the pier and spread out a towel in a sunny spot. By the time Asher reached the lake, I was baking in the sun, my nearly naked body was heated, and a layer of sweat made my skin shiny. His light footsteps on the pier made me open my eyes and the pleased expression on his face was worth the brightness of daylight burning my pupils.

He had a smaller backpack hanging from his shoulders, red straps cutting into his smooth, tanned skin. He wore his yellow shorts and a pair of flip-flops. And that was it.

"You've no idea how many times I watched you here," he whispered as he lowered himself to sit down. He folded his legs under his peachy ass and rested his elbows on his knees. His fingers twined together and supported his chin. "For years, Jordan." There was some playful accusation in his tone. "I was stealing glances for years and didn't have a clue."

"You must feel really silly now," I pointed out. "All you ever had to do was ask."

"Or get tackled down in the grass, get a hard-on, and be tortured for days before finally breaking," he said casually, shrugging like it was nothing.

I offered him a hand, but he intentionally misread the gesture. He let the backpack slide down his arms, grabbed my hand, and jumped to his feet. He pulled me up with him, then dragged me a couple of feet to the edge of the pier.

I stood my ground, showing off my strength, when Asher stumbled and couldn't tip me over. He yanked me once again, but it did nothing to push me off balance. One side of my mouth cocked into a smirk and I raised my eyebrows lazily. "What are you doing?"

Flustered and frustrated, Asher frowned. "I was going to throw you into the water, but you're not budging."

"Are you sure about that?" I asked.

He pretended to consider it seriously. "I'm pretty sure I'd get a laugh out of it."

I narrowed my eyes threateningly, but laughter welled in me against my best attempt to keep cool. I bent forward and swept Asher off his feet, lifting him in my arms as he yelped and laughed in shock.

My muscles burned with the effort. He was muscled even if he was much shorter, so he was heavy, especially when he flailed and struggled. He protested through laughter, begging me to stop, to reconsider, to talk about it, to let him take a breath first. But I only laughed harder and hurtled us both over the edge of the pier and into the lukewarm water of the lake.

Asher screamed on impact, but my body got hit the hardest as I twisted at the last moment so he would sink above me rather than under me. I was a superior swimmer. I always have been.

We splashed and dived deep into the lake. I opened my eyes as soon as I could make my eyelids peel open. Bright white light pierced the blue-green body of water. I sank faster than Asher, whose limbs flailed and propelled him to the surface. I watched his muscles tensing, his limbs working, his hair moving with weightlessness in the water. Bubbles of air drifted from his partially closed mouth.

I grabbed his ankle when he managed to get his head above the water. Even this deep in the water, I could hear him yelp in shock. Then, as he twisted around, I released him and resurfaced, taking a deep breath of air and loving the obscenities he had to spare for me. "…asshole, we could have drowned. I was only kidding."

I splashed him with water once and watched his inherent fury war with humor. Playfulness prevailed and Asher splashed back.

"You wanna play? You wanna play like that? Let's play, then," he threatened as he fought back.

It reminded me of the one time we had truly bonded, building walls and ammunition made of snow, hurtling the projectiles at one another until we were out of breath and shivering with the cooling sweat that drenched us. Except, this time, as I pushed myself into his space, he didn't resist. And when my arms were around him, he surrendered. Our bodies melted into one another. I felt the exertion and the strain on his abs as he peddled his legs to remain afloat. His arms wrapped around me as I placed my hands on the sides of his torso. And when I kissed him, his hold on me tightened. Only our heads and shoulders were above the surface level, and we moved like a single being, dipping lower and floating higher, kissing, coiling, and holding onto one another.

I couldn't contain the shudder that passed through me. A tremendous feeling of importance, joy, and a huge amount of luck coursed through my veins. My heart pumped excitement through my body. The heat of our kiss made me want to slow down the passage of time and remain like this forever.

When I opened my eyes and pulled my head back, the drops of water all over Asher's handsome face caught the sunlight and glimmered with every move he made. Gently, we floated and propelled ourselves to the pier.

I stayed in the water, watching Asher pull himself up out of the lake. The muscles in his arms knotted as he rose, water dripping from his shorts. The fabric was sticking to his body and a rush of heat made me sink under the water to cool my burning face. In the next heartbeat, I followed him. I wanted to be near him so badly that I could feel it in my stomach.

I climbed onto the pier and sat next to him on the wooden planks, our legs hanging from the edge, sun kissing our backs. Silently, I reached over with my right arm, put it around Asher's bare shoulders, and pulled him in. He nestled his head on my shoulder and we watched the ripples in the lake.

There was so much I wanted to say to him. There was so much I wanted him to know. Since the moment we had pulled the curtain of lies from what we truly felt, being around him was so easy. I wanted him and I didn't care about the rest. There was no big, bad lie pulling us apart. The simplicity of being was so much more appealing.

As my thoughts floated through my head, I turned around and kissed him on the lips. He accepted it and returned my kisses twice as passionately. What began as my desire to feel his lips against mine became a driving need to touch him, to feel him, to taste him, and to have him.

It was spontaneous, our moves leading from one to the other with each heartbeat. In flashes, we were colliding, toppling to the planks, rolling, and making out so hard that it was almost a fight for dominance. I kissed him, and he bit my lip. His mouth opened wide, and I thrust my tongue inside to explore it without a trace of shame. I lay on my back, and Asher climbed on top, sitting on my growing crotch and leaning down to kiss the soul out of my body. His sighs and moans turned me on harder than any hook-up ever had. They had never come close.

Fired up by his unrestrained lust, I lifted my torso and rolled us over. Asher lay on the towel that I had spread out for us to sunbathe on and I let my weight pin him against the pier. Asher placed his hands on my upper back, his fingernails mercilessly scratching the length of it, and his body coiled under mine, skin on skin and muscle on muscle. I devoured him, my lips hungry for his body as I kissed his mouth, chin, and neck. I resisted the temptation to mark him as mine, lowering myself further and kissing his sculpted pecs.

Asher wiggled and put both hands on the back of my head. He pulled me closer, my lips pressing against his taut skin and hard muscles, dragging down his torso. His whimpers and a faint thrust of his hips told me how far gone he was in this stream of passion and I let myself be taken with him. I breathed over his skin, watching his hips move and torso coil. The bulge that grew in his shorts was almost enough to make me salivate.

I grabbed his hips in my hands and pressed my face hard against his crotch. The thickness there throbbed and Asher moaned from the pressure.

There had been a time when I was a careful person. Not that long ago, I did nothing without thinking it through. To let go of that was the most liberating sensation I had ever felt. To not even consider that consequences might exist in this universe was as close to truly living as I had gotten in a long, long time. So I hooked my fingers inside Asher's shorts and I yanked them down until he yelped and laughed. He helped me by lifting his perfectly round ass off the pier so I could undress him and I moved like a wild animal in the middle of an attack. I practically tore the shorts off his legs, tossed them aside, and marveled at his gorgeous body. His smooth skin and his big dick drew me back, and I leaned over his crotch, burying my face in his groin and making him moan louder.

My lips trailed the length of his stiff cock until I wrapped them around the tip and sucked him in. He throbbed in my mouth and clutched the wet hair on my head with both hands, tightening his fists and pulling me down on himself. I ate him ravenously and I enjoyed the feeling of his hardness filling my mouth and throat. I savored every moment of this, returning the favor from last night and making him whimper with ecstasy.

I was good at this. I was in tune with all his little signals, making sure I didn't finish this too soon by accident, but keeping Asher on the tips of his toes. His strained voice and tense abs were my clues that he was getting too horny, so I sucked him slowly and let him calm down.

He fit perfectly into my mouth. His dick penetrated my throat, and my lips loosened to let him move in and out easily, but the feeling was so right that it made my heart trip. My lips pleased him, and my hands explored him, his body tensing and relaxing under my fingertips. I ran my hands down to feel his thighs, bobbing my head up and down and making him shudder and plead for more. The tip of my tongue circled around the rim of his head, tickling him and torturing him in all the sweetest ways. As I slid my hands up, his legs spread wider for me until I pressed my thumbs against his hard taint.

"Fuck, Jordan," he whispered. "Need you…need more…" Short breaths cut his words, and Asher grabbed my head, sliding his dick deeper into my mouth and grunting. "Want you…please…"

I pulled my head away and looked at his face. The glassy shine in his eyes was the sexiest sight ever. His cheeks were heated and pink, his hair was dark but drying with highlights running through it.

Asher pulled his lower lip between his teeth, looked into my eyes, and breathed those sexy words: "I want you to fuck me, Jordan."

I leaped and smashed my mouth against his, kissing him deeply and turning us both on harder. As we rolled over one another and made out, I pulled my shorts down and felt his hand closing around my dick. He stroked me, murmuring against my lips how badly he needed it, and it was enough to drive me crazy. Naked and consumed with each other's bodies, we played in the sunlight, touching each other, teasing, and toying. My hands kneaded his firm ass, pulling his cheeks apart, and pressing them together. He sat on my abdomen and stroked me with one hand behind his back while I ran my fingers between his cheeks, feeling his tight hole pulsing whenever I brushed over it.

Asher's hips moved back and forth, sliding along my body and pushing my hard dick back as he gained a few inches of space every time he moved. He inched back and released me from his hand, my dick settling between his cheeks perfectly. With sighs and gasps, he moved gently, rocking back and forth, cheeks pressed around my dick hard enough to stroke me with every move.

Desire drove me as I rose and flipped us around, kneeling over Asher as he lay on his back again.

"Please, Jordan," he whispered as I kissed him. "Fuck me, please." He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, rubbing our bodies together. And when I reached over for lube and condoms, Asher turned to his front and lifted his butt for me. It was so nicely curved that I had to take a moment to simply look at it before dropping the supplies next to him and burying my face between his cheeks.

His whimpers burst out loudly as my tongue worked his hole. One index finger circling his rim added pressure that made my boy shudder. He thrust his ass back, ramming it against my face, as I rubbed him with the finger between his hole and my tongue. And when it slipped inside of him, Asher moaned with such unrestrained pleasure that I wanted to laugh with joy. I probed him gently, carefully, getting him used to the sensation, and stretched him lightly with a slick finger that reached deeper and deeper into his warm entrance.

Minutes passed in harmonic moans and the splashing of the water against the shore. A breeze rolled over the grass and made Asher's back prickle. I stretched him with two fingers, easily sliding in and out, my lips following the curve of his ass and kissing the small of his back.

When my other hand wrapped around his dick, he throbbed so hard that his hole tightened around my fingers and I had to pause. And when I decided that he was ready, I slipped a condom onto my painfully hard cock, poured lube all over my hand to slick myself and him, and towered over Asher. "I'll be careful," I whispered.

"Do whatever you want to do to me," he said, his voice high and thin and strained. He put his hands on his cheeks, pulled them apart, and lifted his butt until my dick touched his hole.

I almost didn't believe that this was real. For so much of my life, this was safely kept as a fantasy and nothing more than a fantasy. Now, having him accept me inside his body with such wonderful little moans and gasps felt like stepping into a fairytale. It was like I had left the real reality behind the looking glass when I crossed the boundaries between the two worlds.

My dick sank into him barely an inch deep before he tensed and whimpered that it hurt. I knew it would. So I gave him all the time he needed to get used to it. Slowly, I dipped in and out, preparing him to take all of me when he was ready. I pushed myself in and held still for a few heartbeats, feeling him relax and loosen around me. And when he embraced me, I impaled him with half my length, pushing moans out of his body as I entered him deeper.

My dick throbbed hard and fast, the mixture of excitement and disbelief soaring through me. And as I let our bodies find each other's rhythm, I relaxed. My left arm wrapped around his shoulder, holding his upper chest in a firm grip, and I lifted Asher's torso up, his lower back arching and arms extending to support him. As I pushed myself deeper into him, his moans grew more airy and quiet. He breathed quickly, gasping and sighing and panting with my increasing thrusts. And when his body was finally used to mine, I rammed hard into him, making him cry out with pleasure.

The sun bathed us in bright gold light and sweat slicked our bodies. We collided, bodies and souls, into a magnificent display of worship. That was what I felt for him. Total, unquestionable worship of his body, of his personality, of his feelings for me.

I knelt behind him and pulled Asher to his knees, too, holding his hips firmly and ramming him from behind. Obscene murmurs left his sexy lips, begging for my cock, telling me to fuck him harder. And I replied with the same vigor. "Fuck, Ash, I love watching your sexy ass take my cock." He clenched his hole around the base of my dick when my words reached him. "Fuck, baby boy, that feels so good," I grunted, pounding his tight hole with all I had. His thick cheeks rippled with every impact, his skin glossy with a layer of sweat.

I moved my arms along his body, exploring him slowly until they reached his shoulders. There, I held him, and I sped up the thrusts of my hips. He cried out with pleasure, begging me to torture his prostate harder and faster. "Make me come, Jordan. Fuck, please, make me come like this."

Sweat dripped from my brow as I closed my hands around his throat and kept increasing the pace. I rubbed against his prostate with each move of my body, my dick exploring him balls-deep. My hands tightened around his neck, making his voice thinner and raspier as he cursed and begged for more.

His willingness to go to any length with me hit me like a bullet. It turned me on so hard and so suddenly that I realized I couldn't stop myself. It triggered the sweetest moments of my life as I fucked him harder and felt him tightening around me. At the same moment, my dick throbbed uncontrollably, and I grunted and moaned, filling the condom and keeping the pace just the way he wanted it. My orgasm raced through all the parts of my body, strangling me and making my toes curl. But when Asher's hole pulsed around my dick rapidly, and his voice cracked in joy and pleasure, I knew he was done, too. A shudder passed through his upper back as I relaxed my hold on his throat. He was still grinding himself against me but slowing down. He panted and sighed and slowly pulled away from me. When he lay on the towel, turning on his back, his dick was swollen and slick with cum that trickled down his length. He wrapped his hand around it, stroking it slowly, while I removed the condom and touched myself. I lay on top of him, pressed our bodies tightly together, and kissed him. "Ash," I whispered. "You were…" I ran out of words. There wasn't a way to tell him and do it justice.

"You too," he whispered, kissing me back.

We lay like that for a long time, basking in the sun and in our satisfaction, unafraid and unbothered.

I kissed all of him. I kissed his fingertips, his eyelids, the tip of his nose, and his nipples. I kissed his belly button and licked his softening cock to get a sweet and salty taste of his cum in my mouth, and then I kissed his lips again, letting him taste himself on me.

"I never wanna stop doing this," he mused.

If only summer never ended. If only we could stay on the pier forever. If we could just swim and kiss and fuck for the rest of our lives, I wouldn't leave this world with a single regret.

But I knew one thing for sure. I wasn't going to let go of him. "It feels like I've been searching for you for so long."

"And I was there all along," he said seriously, looking into my eyes. "I'm here. I'm yours."

My heart inflated abruptly, skipping a beat. I wrapped him in my arms and held him. He was mine. I had denied myself the chance to dream this up, but getting it and holding him in this moment was the most precious thing that had ever happened to me.