Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Declan

"Looks like Eric saved us a table." Jonas pointed to the back wall as we entered the old brick bank that had been turned into a bar and grill. A massive oak bar took up much of the front area, with wooden booths and tables along the sides and rear of the space. Low lighting, exposed brick, and period details set a cozy vibe. A small stage was set up in the back left corner, opposite the bank of tables Eric had claimed.

"Looks like." My voice was stiff because I was still smarting from the fight I'd picked in the car. I'd done it to myself, but that didn't stop me from wishing I could grab Jonas's hand and run far, far away from here.

"Are we okay?" Jonas asked in a low voice as we approached Eric.

"We're cool." There wasn't time to say anything else. Like that I was sorry for arguing and even more sorry that I couldn't see a path forward where I could come out and still race and not have every eyeball in motocross on me.

The worst part was that, for the first time in my life, I was surrounded daily by the benefits of coming out. My dad and Denver's happiness. Their friend Tony had an adorable boyfriend a little older than me who spent most of his time wrapped around Tony. Somehow, Tony was a high school football coach and making it work, but I wasn't sure the easy acceptance he'd found would happen anywhere else. Being around this many same-sex couples had me wanting things like my idea of escaping into Portland for a few hours. To go somewhere I wasn't likely to be recognized and just… be .

But Jonas had a shift, which shouldn't have irritated me, and my idea was silly anyway. Every day was a step closer to getting back on the track and away from this little pit stop in queer heaven.

"You guys made it." Eric stood to help me with my crutches and directed me into an end seat so I was less likely to jostle my leg. He was such a dad, always looking out for people, but unfortunately, the end chair meant staring into the bright lights around the stage area. I didn't say anything though. I was so sick of my light sensitivity and headaches being a thing, and I hadn't been joking about Jonas looking in worse shape.

Jonas was in office attire with his usual neatly trimmed beard, but he had a decidedly rumpled and exhausted aura with paler skin and darker circles under his eyes. I had the unfamiliar urge to take care of him. I wasn't a cook, but I wanted to feed him, hold him, something to make him feel better. I glanced at the empty seat next to me, silently urging Jonas to sit there, but Eric apparently had other plans.

"No, sit here, Jonas." He directed Jonas to a different chair, closer to him and a good six seats from me. "Our new guy, Percy, came with me and is in the restroom. I've been wanting you to meet him. He's around our age. Divorced."

I hated this Percy already, and something of my dislike must have shown on my face because Eric turned back toward me.

"Don't worry. Some other friends are coming too. Tennessee and Tate should be here later, along with your dad and Denver."

"Great." I loved being the odd person out in Couple Central. Just peachy. And Percy was old, older than Eric and Jonas, probably closer to fifty, with silver hair and a tall, lanky frame that made him look more like a sheriff than a paramedic. He had a loud laugh and kind eyes, and I wanted to spear him with my fork. My hands kept clenching and I had to grit my teeth as he chatted Jonas up because what the hell could I do?

Run over there and declare my undying love? Hang a Keep Off sign around his neck? A line from an older pop tune about the value of rings popped into my brain. I was staring at Jonas's left hand while imagining a series of terrible fates for Percy when my dad and his massive boyfriend, Denver, finally arrived.

They greeted everyone before settling down near me. Lovely. I forced a smile.

"How was PT?" Dad asked as he arranged his coat on the back of his chair.

"Fucking wonderful." Okay. Apparently, my ability to fake happiness was limited at best.

"Lan—" Dad started to correct me before he apparently remembered I was way over twenty-one and spent the whole damn racing season around dudes who spoke solely in curse words. "Was PT that bad?"

"I hate everything about PT." My bleak mood made me far more honest than usual. "We're working on getting more range of motion back in my foot and leg, but all the concentration makes my head hurt. Then, the migraine makes it harder to do the exercises and keep my balance. It's an endless cycle of suck."

"Maybe I could help you find a different PT?—"

"Lauren's great." I waved away that notion. "It's not her fault my fucking brain won't cooperate."

" Lauren , huh? I think I've seen her a couple of times around the hospital. Your age? Cute? Lets you call her by her first name…" Dad trailed off meaningfully. "Better not go getting a crush."

I released a pained noise. "Dad. Please."

"Sorry. I was just teasing. I'll shut up." Dad sat a little straighter like maybe Denver had kicked his foot.

I shot Denver a grateful look and gentled my tone. "Sorry, I'm cranky."

"You okay?" Dad kept the dad-ing coming. "Is the headache that bad?"

"Nah. I'm fine." I busied myself with studying the drink menu because no way was I going to complain more. The last thing I wanted was for Dad to suggest I leave early. I needed to keep an eye on Jonas and Percy.

Eventually, everyone ordered drinks and food. Big platters of appetizers arrived, but I had no appetite for deep-fried goodies. Every time Percy made Jonas laugh, my stomach turned. A young DJ with long blond hair and numerous piercings introduced the various singers, trying to get audience engagement through some awkward questions and games.

I exhaled hard when Rowan finally performed because we were that much closer to being done with the evening. However, Rowan was also by far the best performer, singing some recent pop tunes with a clear high tenor and engaging style.

"Hey, Eric. He's really good," my dad called down the table. Rowan took a bow before escaping to a table full of similar-aged young people drinking sodas and eating giant baskets of sweet potato fries.

"He is." Eric nodded proudly as the applause for Rowan died off. "And all of a sudden, he seems so much older and more mature."

"Parenting, man. It hits you in the nads when you least expect it." An older dude in a black T-shirt with the bar's logo stopped by our table while holding a tray with a couple of beers.

"It does," my dad agreed with the waiter guy. "Great place you've got here, Magnus."

Ah. Not a waiter. Magnus must be the owner, which would make him the dad of Diesel, the friend of Maren's that I'd heard far too much about the last few weeks from gossipy Rowan. Magnus was attractive in that older guy way with muscles and tats. Not the typical type I noticed, but ever since I'd started fooling around with Jonas, I found myself picking up more on which dudes might be into dudes and also letting myself acknowledge when someone was hot. And since he wasn't hitting on Jonas, I liked him way more than Percy.

"Everything okay here?" Magnus asked Eric.

"We're good." Eric's tone was clipped. Huh. That was as frosty as I'd ever seen Eric, which, if I were into gossip, would be interesting, but I was more concerned with continuing to glower in Percy and Jonas's direction.

"Brought you another pale ale." Magnus set the beer in front of Eric before clearing away empty appetizer dishes.

Eric pursed his lips. "Thanks, but think I'm done for the night."

"Suit yourself." Magnus shrugged.

"I'll take it," I volunteered. I'd been drinking soda because of my topsy-turvy stomach, but suddenly, a drink sounded awesome.

"Will you?" Magnus turned my direction, unmistakable interest in his eyes. "You're new to this group, aren't you?"

"This is Declan, Sean's kid," Jonas answered before I could, putting a heavy emphasis on kid. I started plotting his doom, but then Jonas jerked a thumb at Percy. "And have you met Percy?"

Oh my. If Jonas was also jealous, I could let the kid comment slide, especially if he was handing Percy off to Magnus.

"Well, hello, Percy." Magnus turned all his charm on Percy. "Whatcha drinking tonight?"

I enjoyed the next round of drinks far more, not simply because I had a beer to sip. Percy had moved from flirting with Jonas to openly checking out Magnus, and I almost wanted to sing and dance myself.

As we finally settled up and headed out in the cold, my dad insisted on helping me with my coat and crutches.

"You want to ride back with Denver and me?" Dad asked.

"Nah, I'll keep Jonas company." I glanced over at where Jonas was talking to Eric. He likely didn't need company, but it was as good a reason as any.

"I'm glad you and Jonas are becoming friends. That's good." Dad nodded. "You need more non-racing friends, especially now."

If ever there was a moment to tell Dad that Jonas and I were more than friends, this might be it. If nothing else, it was a good moment to tell him I was struggling with who I was with and without racing. But instead, I merely nodded.

"It's freezing." Denver met up with us near the exit, and the moment evaporated like foam in a beer.

"See you tomorrow." I gave them both a nod as I made my way toward Jonas's SUV.

"Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite," Dad called after me.

Jonas chuckled as he met me by the side of his SUV. "At least his dad-joke game is on point."

"I'm not sure that's a positive." I groaned as I settled in the passenger seat.

Jonas echoed my groan with one of his own as he slid behind the wheel. "God, I'm exhausted."

"I know ." I glared at him. "You need someone to take care of you for a change."

"You volunteering?" He tilted his head, considering. And he had to be super tired if my big control freak was considering letting me do something for him. For all we made out and spent time together, it was almost always him taking care of me. Him blowing me or jerking me off or getting me settled with extra pillows, turning down the lights, bringing me snacks…

God. I really did need to take care of him. Letting him do stuff for me felt good, but that was no excuse for not doing my part.

"Yep. I'm gonna take care of you tonight." My voice was firm and confident, and I sure hoped I could deliver.