13. Edu

13

EDU

"It's all good," Fox said, rubbing my shoulders. "She'll come. We'll eat and be merry. You'll see. It'll all be fine."

I held the garbage can between my knees as I dry-heaved again. This was most definitely not going to be fine. "I might throw up."

"You've been saying that for the last hour. Everything will be fine. I promise."

"You got me engaged."

"Yeah, but it's not real. You're just helping out a friend," he said congenially. "It's like…if I were in trouble, you would be there for me, right?"

"I guess."

"No guessing. I know you would." He rubbed my shoulders harder, easing the ache growing in my muscles. "You're a good guy, and all you're doing is faking it for one day. We do that all the time. Think of this as a mission."

"A mission?" I heaved again, but nothing came up.

"Yeah, it's a mission. See, you're like…James Bond, and you're trying to save the girl from her not-so-evil grandma. So, for one night, you pretend that you're engaged to her. You put on that classic Edu magnetism that we all know is buried somewhere in the depths of that bl ackened heart, and you impress the grandma with your wit and dashing good looks."

"What about my charm?"

I could practically feel the wince in his shoulders. "Well, that's something we have to work on."

"She'll hate me when she realizes I'm a bodyguard."

"Are you kidding? A man who can protect her granddaughter and look amazing doing it? She'll be eating out of your hands!"

He seemed a lot more sure of this than I was.

"I swear, I won't leave your side the whole time. I'll keep her so busy with talk of musicals that she won't have time to even speak to you."

I nodded vigorously. "So…I just have to talk to Harper."

"Exactly! And you're great at talking to the ladies. And since she's already obsessed with you, you know it won't be an issue to get information out of her."

I stopped nodding and frowned at him. "Why would I want to get information out of her?"

"Because on the off chance that you do speak to the grandma, you need to know something about Harper."

"Right." I swallowed hard. This was going to be hell.

"Hey, you've got this. I've never known a man more capable of taking on the impossible. You're like…Mr. Mission Impossible. You're better than Tom Cruise and Ving Rhames!"

"Yeah, I am. Wait, what about Simon Pegg?"

Fox winced. "Well, he's a complex character. I'm not sure you could pull him off, but definitely the other guys."

I nodded, feeling my confidence build by the second. I could do this. I was James Bond. Or Ethan Hunt? Which was it? It didn't matter. I had this. This was nothing more than a job, and I was a fucking professional.

"Now, get on your feet and get rid of that puke bucket."

I did as he said, flinging it to the side. "Yeah, I don't need that."

"You don't need that! You're not Scottie!"

I huffed out a laugh. "I most definitely am not Scottie. I don't puke mid-flight. "

"Well, you did jump out of a plane."

"Because he told me to!" I argued. "But did I flinch?"

"Hell no!"

"Did I get scared and puke all over the place?" I shouted.

"Not even a single drop," he said encouragingly.

"That's because I am Edu, king of the OPS company. I rule with an iron fist, and I will not be thwarted by some grandma and her stalker granddaughter!"

Fox winced. "Okay, that may be taking things a little far. If anyone is king, it's gonna be me, but you could be a prince."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Okay, fine! You can be king! I'm the court jester. They're the best, anyway."

Feeling much better about the situation, I stomped into my bathroom and turned on the shower. I was going to get cleaned up and be the best fucking fake fiancé anyone had ever seen. I'd show this grandma person just how amazing I was. I didn't need to sing and dance. I was fucking Edu, and when she saw just how amazing I was, she'd fall at my feet and thank me for taking her psycho granddaughter off her hands and giving her a stable environment where she could be something other than a cash register—as her grandmother put it.

I emerged from my bedroom fifteen minutes later feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world. Dressed casually in my tactical gear, I knew I could take on the world and squash this grandma like the bug she was.

Respectfully, of course.

As I entered the kitchen, Fox spun around, his face smeared in avocado as he looked me up and down. "Is that what you're wearing?"

"I'm going into battle. What else would I wear?"

He nodded. "Right. I like it. Go in with a positive attitude. What time is she coming?"

"I have no fucking clue. I don't even have her number."

He frowned. "Maybe you should get that before she leaves."

"This is for one day only. Why would I need her number? "

"Just in case. Purely precautionary. You don't want to look like the idiot who doesn't have his fiancée's phone number."

He might have a point there. "Let's get this show on the road. There's only so long I can stand to pretend."

"Righty-o! But first, a drink." He grabbed two glasses off the counter that were already filled with what I hoped was alcohol. "A toast. To musicals, avocados, and fake fiancées."

I took the glass against my better judgment and lifted it. "Sure, to all that."

I drank down the horrible concoction, nearly choking as I swallowed the contents. It burned like hell as it slid down my throat—more like lit a torch as it blistered my insides, but I'd deal with that later.

"What the hell is that?"

"Liquid courage, my friend. You're going to need it."

He slapped me on the back and walked out of my house. As I stood there, it occurred to me that he spent a good hour trying to console me and get me ready for what was about to happen. Now, he was telling me I was going to need liquid courage. Which was it? Was I ready for this or was I walking into the flames of hell?

As I stepped out of my house, I had a feeling it was the latter, and I was only going to regret whatever was to come. I slid my hand into my pocket, frowning when I felt a small pouch. Pulling it out, I opened the small button enclosure and pulled out a note scribbled in Fox's handwriting.

You can't be pretend engaged without a ring.

The liquid courage I drank threatened to come back up as I slid a finger inside the pouch and pulled out a beautiful silver ring with a single diamond in the center. It wasn't overly big. In fact, it was simple and old-fashioned. The intricacy of the band was more showy than the diamond itself. I looked up and saw Fox grinning at me, giving me two thumbs up.

That feeling of wanting to pass out was returning awfully fast.

I kept patting my pocket, making sure the ring was still inside the pouch.

"Relax, it didn't suddenly get up and walk away," Fox muttered.

"There's a ring in my pocket," I said in a monotone voice.

"I'm aware. I put it there."

"You put a ring in my pocket."

"I know. I just said that," he chuckled as he led me through the growing crowd around the OPS building. The grills were lit outside and a spit with shawarma meat on it spun by a fire. The women were busy setting out salads and other party sides. There were buns of every shape and size. Pretzel buns, both big and small. Regular buns, Hawaiian buns, and sliders.

I wasn't sure why I was focusing on the buns, but it seemed to help abate the growing nausea. I focused on the little things, all the while patting my pocket to ensure I hadn't lost the ring.

The ring that didn't belong to me. I grabbed Fox and hauled him off to the side, away from the growing number of people. "Where did you get this ring?"

He shot me a funny look. "At a store. Where else would I get one?"

"You bought a ring."

"Uh…yeah."

"For my fake fiancée."

"Dude, it was necessary. No biggie." He slapped me on the shoulder and started to walk away, but I grabbed him by the sleeve and hauled him back.

"No biggie? You bought an actual fucking diamond ring for me to put on a woman's hand."

"Well, I think it would look bad if the ring was a fake. We can't have you looking bad."

"Right, we wouldn't want me to look bad by putting a fake ring on my fake fiancée's finger!"

He grinned widely at me. "See, if you say it enough, it doesn't make you want to puke anymore. Am I right?"

He was right, but not because I was getting used to the words. More like I was falling into the delusion and accepting my fate. Soon, this would be over and I could go back to my normal world where none of this craziness existed. I would never date another woman so long as I lived. This just wasn't worth all the hassle.

"Ooh, look! I think that's her."

I turned around, searching for my bride-to-be. At first, I didn't see anything, but then it was like the crowd parted and her smile was all I saw. Gleaming bright, her hair stood out amongst the crowd. I could swear I even saw her eyes from all the way over here. They were just so damn vibrant. And those lips…so kissable. Fuck, she was gorgeous.

Not that I was paying attention.

"Grams!" Fox shouted, waving his hands at the woman who walked in behind her. Fox tugged me along beside him, over to the woman who would one day be my relative if I let this charade go on.

Ignoring the older woman, my gaze settled on her granddaughter. She was smiling at something Brock was saying to her, and I found myself insanely jealous that she was laughing and smiling at him.

I was her fake soon-to-be-husband. Those looks should be reserved for me. I stomped over to her and grabbed her by the elbow, dragging her away from him without a word. I didn't stop until we were far from prying ears.

"Edu, what are you doing? Can you slow down? I lost my shoe!"

I stopped suddenly, spinning on her angrily. "Why were you laughing with him?"

Her jaw dropped open and she stared at me like I was crazy. "What?"

"Just now. You were laughing with Brock. Why?"

"Uh…" She shook her head slightly. "I imagine he said something funny."

"Oh, you can't remember?" I snapped.

"Well, not when you pull me away and accuse me of…I'm not sure what you're accusing me of, actually."

I narrowed my eyes at her, thrusting my hand into my pocket. There was no time like the present to get this over with. I opened the pouch and took her left hand, about to put the ring on it, but I found I just couldn't.

"Here," I said, thrusting it into her palm. "It's…to make it look good. "

"You…you got me a ring?"

And just like I expected, stars filled her eyes and I watched her drift off to dreamland. If Prince Charming was there, I'd fucking kill him. I didn't have the time for this shit. I was doing a job, pure and simple, and she was ruining it with her starry eyes.

"It's just for show. And I didn't get it for you," I said, snapping her out of her delusions. "Fox picked it up. I'm just delivering it."

But that did nothing to stop the way she was staring at it so lovingly. "I've never had anything as beautiful as this."

I wanted to tell her that she was ten times as beautiful as that damn ring, but that would only make the stars explode in her eyes, and I couldn't have that.

"Anyway, you can't be laughing at what other men say."

I was giving her whiplash and I knew it. "What?"

"Earlier. You were laughing at something Brock said. You can't do that. I'm your soon-to-be-husband. Fakely speaking."

"Fakely speaking," she repeated.

"Yeah. It's not really happening. It's all fake. But that doesn't mean you can galavant with him and make it look like you have eyes for another man. It makes me look bad."

"Um…I was just trying to make friends with them."

"Well, don't," I snapped. "This isn't real. This is just a show for your grandparents, and as soon as this day is over, so will this fake engagement. You don't need to make friends with anyone or pretend you'll see them again later because you won't."

Hurt spread across her face at my rough words, but I had to be very clear to both her and myself. I couldn't allow those beautiful eyes to make me think things that I knew would never happen. And I definitely couldn't let her think for even a moment that any of this was real.

"Look, I just want to be clear where we stand. When this day is over, that ring still won't mean a damn thing. I didn't buy it for you, so if you keep it, it still won't mean anything. I won't be calling you and I won't stop by the grocery store to see how you are. That's not how this works. I agreed to this only because Fox thrust me into the middle of everything. I don't want a girlfriend. I have no intention of getting married ever. There will be no kids in my future. Do you understand?"

She nodded slightly, but tilted her head at me. "And why do you feel so strongly that you have to tell me that?"

"Because I don't want you getting any delusions that this could lead somewhere. I made a vow a long time ago that I would never get married. And I won't change my mind."

"Why?" It was a question out of pure curiosity. There was no urge in her voice because she thought she could change my mind. And that was the only reason I answered.

"Because I know marriage only makes people miserable. I've seen it with my own eyes, and it's not something I ever want to experience myself. People would be happier if they didn't have these grandiose expectations of each other."

"That's kind of sad."

"It's not sad. It's a realistic view of life. Just keep that in mind while we're milling about today. This cannot and will never go anywhere. It's all make-believe."

"I got it," she said, her voice pitching slightly. "You don't need to keep telling me."

"I kind of feel I need to. I've seen the way you look at me."

"Yes, I'm a daydreamer. Call me crazy, but I like to imagine what life could be. I don't have a predetermined idea of what will happen. The possibilities are endless if you give it a chance."

"Not in my world," I snapped. "Now, are we doing this or not?"

She raised an eyebrow at me, taking my hand. "By all means, Pookie. Let's get this over with."

Rolling my eyes, I led her back to the festivities. I only had to make it through tonight. That's what I kept telling myself, but as we approached the crowd of people, I had a feeling I wasn't prepared at all for what I had gotten myself into.