12. Harper

12

HARPER

Another beep filled the air as I scanned yet another grocery item. When I was a little girl, I always pretended I worked at a grocery store. It was fun at the time. People would come to my line because I was the cheeriest cashier. They loved buying my gum and seeing the happy smile on my face. Plus, I had the best pretend bubblegum.

Real life was nothing like that.

My gum was getting old and leaving a foul taste in my mouth. My water was warm and desperately needed ice, but I didn't have a break for another hour. The smile I always reserved for my customers had faded with every hour that passed. My feet were killing me from standing in the same spot, and for some reason, that damn beeping was really killing my mood today.

Things didn't get any better when I saw that familiar face walking toward me from the front doors. Gray curls rolled on top of her head, Gram was a force to be reckoned with, and the way she was marching toward me right now, I knew there would be hell to pay.

In front of all the customers.

She wasn't exactly one to keep things in the family. No, if she was mad, everyone knew it. Not that she ever truly got mad at me, but she sometimes treated me like I was five years old and scolded me in front of everyone in town. I had a feeling that was going to happen today.

I put on a smile and quickly finished checking out the current customer, hoping to push things along and avoid as much humiliation as humanly possible. Except, my next customer was none other than the man I had indecent dreams about this morning. And I didn't mean James Earl Jones. That would have been less embarrassing.

The good thing was that he was currently arguing with his friend Fox and not paying any attention to me. But how long that would last, I wasn't sure. I smiled as Gram walked up.

"Hey!"

"Don't you hey me, missy. I heard about what happened here yesterday."

I cocked my head at her in confusion. "Sorry?"

"The avocados? The toilet paper run? That has your name written all over it. Why, I have a good mind to bring you home with me until you find a real job."

Here we go.

I heard this about once a month. My life choices were never good enough for her, much like how my parents felt. She seemed to be even more concerned about me since they passed, taking it upon herself to remind me I wasn't living up to my potential whenever she could. I somehow always wiggled my way out from under her questioning gaze, but this time felt different.

"Gram, I'm busy working right now. How about we talk about this later?"

"Later? When? You never want to discuss things with me. You're wasting your life as a cash register!"

"Um…I'm a cashier," I corrected, not that it mattered.

"No man. No prospects. Is this really what you want to do with your life?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the jovial voice of Edu's friend.

"Are you Harper's sister? You look just alike."

My grandma turned to him, a stern expression on her face. "And who are you? "

"Fox, my lovely lady." He was laying it on thick, but he had no idea who he was messing with. My grandma wasn't ever swayed by charm.

"Fox. What kind of name is that?" she snapped.

He frowned, looking almost confused by the question. "I'm not sure what you mean?"

"I mean, no one names their child Fox."

As if he suddenly got the joke, he laughed. "No, that's just what they call me. I was in the military."

Gram turned to me. "See? A man with a military career. Why can't you find someone like him?"

"Actually, she has. Meet Edu, her fiancé." My eyes widened as he shoved Edu forward.

"I'm not," Edu shook his head furiously.

"Awe, he's just shy about meeting you. He's hopelessly in love with Harper."

"I'm not," Edu repeated, shaking his head still.

"He is," Fox whispered. "Why, they fell in love over groceries. He even proposed to her right here in the check-out line."

I winced. Gram would not find that appealing.

"If he did, why doesn't he speak for himself?"

I finally met Edu's eyes, pleading with him to go along with it just to save my neck. I knew if he didn't, Gram would only be harder on me. Maybe if I had a spine and figured out how to stand up to my grandma, I could handle this, but I hadn't worked up the nerve yet.

He swallowed hard, his eyes reading mine for a moment. I thought he was going to turn and walk away, but something shifted and he stepped forward, clearing his throat. "Um…yes, I am her…fiancé." He sounded like he wanted to throw up. Not exactly the most convincing statement, but it would have to do.

" You're her fiancé?" Gram asked in disbelief.

"Um…yes, ma'am."

"Then why did you say you weren't?"

"Because…because I wanted to…to have the privilege of…asking…for your permission." He stumbled over his words, barely getting anything out. I was surprised he even made it sound intelligible.

"If you wanted to ask my permission, why did you ask her first? "

"Because he surprised her!" Fox grinned, jumping in front of Edu. "It was amazing. I was here. He looked at her and said, Fox, I can't wait anymore. I have to do it now! And then he broke out into song, right here in the check-out lane."

"I didn't," Edu said.

"He did! There was a song and dance. It was amazing."

I bit my lip, trying to hold back the laughter as Edu looked positively ashen as he stood there.

"What song did he sing?" Gram asked, ready to interrogate the man.

" You're The One That I Want."

"From Grease ?" Gram questioned.

I groaned, knowing what was coming.

Fox grinned at her. "I was backup vocals."

Grams face suddenly shifted to a huge smile and she walked around the counter to Edu, clasping him by both arms. "I just love musicals."

"Don't we all," he answered, looking more uncomfortable by the second.

"Tell me, what's your favorite? Harper and I used to watch them together all the time when she was a kid."

"Uh…" He looked at me, sweating like a pig as he struggled to come up with something to say.

"I've just introduced him to them, Gram. Grease was the first musical we watched together. In fact, he messed up the words horribly when he was singing to me, but it was so sweet."

He nodded furiously as he turned back to Gram.

"Well, that's okay. You can watch a musical with me sometime."

"Ooh, can I come too?" Fox asked, holding his hand up in the air as he jumped up and down. "I love musicals. We could watch Kiss Me, Kate! Or Showboat . I love Showboat !"

Gram laughed like she hadn't in ages. I'd never seen her so happy in all my life. And it was all because she assumed I was marrying a man who liked musicals.

"We'll have a musical marathon! "

"I love musical marathons!" Fox exclaimed. "And we can have popcorn!"

"And homemade cookies!" Gram laughed, clapping her hands together.

Fox's eyes went impossibly wide as he walked over to Gram and wrapped her in a hug. "I love homemade cookies. Can we have some now?"

"You would have thought Fox was a little kid again as he talked to my grandma.

"Well, I have to make them first." She pulled out a pen and piece of paper, writing down her number. Then she handed it over. "You call me and we'll set up a time for a movie marathon."

"We don't have to wait. We're having a barbecue tonight. You can come to that. Ooh, and you can meet the rest of the family. After all, they'll be Harper's family soon, too!"

My eyes widened in horror. Was he really suggesting we get together with his friends and spend time with them? With my grandma? This was horrible.

"Her grandfather and I would love to attend." Then she turned to me with a withering gaze. "Harper, why didn't you tell me about your beau before?"

"Uh…" All I could do was chuckle nervously. I had no idea what to say or do, and I definitely hadn't planned on taking this any further than the check-out line. Now I was going to have to pretend for a whole afternoon that I was engaged to Edu. I barely knew the man!

My palms began to sweat as the intensity of the situation caught up to me. I was never good at lying, and now it was all going to come crashing down around me. Gram would be upset and she'd insist I move in with her. I'd be surrounded by porcelain dolls and plastic on the furniture. I'd never meet another man or be able to escape.

Suddenly, my whole life was flashing before my eyes. Any hopes of becoming a Supreme Court justice or working as a veterinarian flew out the window, along with all my sexual fantasies. I was going to end up an old cat lady, and all because I let Fox convince my grandma that Edu had proposed to me .

"I'll see you later!" I heard her say before she hurried out the door, not even bothering to say goodbye to me.

I stood there speechless, much like Edu. Our eyes connected and I chuckled uncomfortably. "Guess we're engaged, Pookie."

His eyes rolled back in his head and he flopped to the ground like a cold fish. This engagement really wasn't getting off to the best start.

I rushed into the house and back to my room, needing a shower to wash the smell of the grocery store off me. I had to look good tonight and do an amazing job convincing my grandma this was real. Hopefully, it would convince her and then I'd come up with some reason why it all ended. I just had to make sure Fox didn't get in the way and come up with any more brilliant ideas.

"What's the hurry?" Oliver asked as I tore through the house like a tornado.

"I'm engaged and going to a barbecue tonight!" I shouted down the hall.

I was in the shower in less than thirty seconds, scrubbing my body and washing my hair. I heard the door open and my brother walk in.

"I'm sorry. Did you say you're engaged?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"Since Gram showed up at the store to chastise me, and Fox told her that Edu is my fiancé!" I said over the roar of the shower.

"And Edu is…"

"A customer."

"At the grocery store," he deadpanned.

"Yep!"

"And you know him how?"

"Through the check-out line," I huffed, grabbing the shaver off the wall. Seriously, was this that hard to understand?

"So…right there, he agreed to be your fiancé?"

"Something like that. "

"Am I in an alternate universe? Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

I jerked back the curtain just enough to see him. The water from my hair dripped onto the floor in a puddle that I'd have to clean up before we left. "It's not that difficult to understand. Gram visited me at the store and now I'm engaged to a man. I'm going to a barbecue and she'll be there." I frowned as I considered the repercussions of this. "In fact, you should be there too. Otherwise, it would be weird."

"Yes, that's what would make this weird," he retorted.

"Look, I don't have time to discuss this with you. We need to leave in about a half hour, so get showered and dressed."

He held up his hands, chuckling as he stepped back. "I'm not getting involved in this weird scheme. Pretty soon, Gram will have me married off to someone, and we both know I'm not mature enough for that yet."

"Do you want me to end up living at Gram's where all the porcelain dolls are? Do you want to visit me and see their eyes following you across the room?"

He swallowed hard, shaking his head. "No."

"Then you'll go along with this. And make it good."

I jerked the curtain back into place and rushed through the rest of my shower as I heard the door snick shut. I knew it was a long shot that this would work, but if it kept Gram off my back for the next year, I'd gladly go along with it.

I got dressed in a whirlwind, throwing clothes all over my room as I searched for the perfect outfit. What did one wear to a barbecue to impress her grandparents and her super new fiancé, and meet her future family that would only exist for the night?

Hopefully .

The stress was mounting by the second. I wasn't sure I could handle the pressure. I settled on something casual. It was a barbecue, after all. I made sure to wear something Gram-appropriate, then did my makeup as quickly as possible. I was no Greta Garbo, but I would do.

I rushed down the hall to the living room, grabbing my purse along the way. Flinging it over my shoulder, I pulled it across my chest, making sure I had my Carmex with me. I slipped another in my pocket, knowing it would be a terrible night if I didn't have at least two on me. What if I lost one? What if one of them was super low and I ran out? No, it was always best to have a backup with me at all times. Otherwise, the night would be ruined.

Not that it could get any more ruined than it already was.

"Oliver!" I shouted, lifting my arm and sniffing my pits. "Oh God. What is that smell?" I rushed down the hall again, flinging open my bathroom drawer, digging around for my deodorant. "How is it possible to smell when I just took a shower?"

Finding what I was looking for, I yanked the shirt to the side and slid the deodorant on, repeating on the other side. I really hoped I didn't get stains on the fabric. That would be embarrassing.

I ran back to the living room, grabbing my purse again. Oliver was lazing in the chair, eating something out of a jar. Huffing, I glared at him. "What are you doing?"

"Eating," he said around a bite of food.

"Why? We're going to a barbecue!"

"Yeah, but I'm hungry now. I've been working all day."

I tried to snatch the jar out of his hand, but he wouldn't let go. "You can eat in ten minutes!"

"You don't know that," he said, struggling with me. "What if they don't have food ready right away? Do you want me starving?"

"You won't starve!" I grunted. "You eat like five meals a day!"

"Because I'm a growing boy!"

I screeched as I slipped and fell backward. I watched in horror as the jar flew into the air, swirling above me before falling right over my head. My eyes connected with Oliver's for just a moment, and then I squeezed them closed as the jar's contents upended all over me.

Brown liquid covered my clothes and dripped from my hair. The smell of something foul permeated the air—something a simple shower wouldn't be able to remove. Holding my hands out, I grimaced as the liquid dripped from my body.

My eyes slowly met my brother's, who had the courtesy to look sheepish. "Oops."

"You!" I said scathingly .

He stumbled over his feet, moving behind the chair for protection. "Now, Harper?—"

I shoved to my feet, glaring at my brother. "Don't you dare Harper me!"

"I Now, Harper -ed you. That's a totally different thing!"

"I'm covered in…" I took a large whiff and grimaced. "What is that?"

He shrugged. "Pickled pig's feet."

I nearly vomited. "Why on earth would you eat that?"

"It was at the gas station! I was hungry!"

That was just like my brother. He was hungry, so he stopped and got something from the gas station. Didn't men know that gas station food wasn't real food?

"I have to take another shower now. And Gram is going to give me that look for being late."

He winced. "Well, try to hurry."

I glared at him. This was all his fault. "You'd better be ready when I get out of the shower." I marched off, but turned at the last second. "And no more eating!"