Chapter 54

WILLOW

Sandy sticksthe key into the lock and twists.

She smiles at Knox and me.

As she opens the door, she takes the key out of the lock.

“How about I let you two check this one out alone?” Sandy offers. “I have a couple calls to make. That work for you?”

“That would be great,” Knox says. “Thank you.”

Sandy smiles at us.

I can’t tell if I trust her or not.

Put yourself in her shoes though.

Knox and I are two adults in our early twenties, wanting an apartment together. And I’m pregnant.

Then again, there are people who meet when they are even younger. And they fall in love. They live together. They get married. They have kids. They move.

Right?

What’s the difference here?

Well, the obvious difference is going to be when it’s time to handle paperwork.

And that little phrase… proof of income.

I look up at Knox.

He grabs my hand and pulls me into the apartment.

He shuts the door behind him.

I look around.

“It’s a little more open than the others,” Knox says. “I mean, again, it’s just somewhere to start, you know?”

I push by him.

“Okay, so here is the dining room,” I say. “Space for a table. And a highchair.” I look back at him and smile. “Kitchen is right there. And the living room… wait, look at those blinds. Do they open? Is that a…”

I hurry over and pull open the blinds.

I let out a loud gasp when I see the balcony.

“Knox,” I say.

“Yeah?”

“Balcony. Imagine sitting there. Sipping coffee. Or tea. Right?”

“Right,” Knox nods.

He seems a little… subdued at the moment.

The first two apartments we looked at he took the reins with it. He was the one running around, excited, envisioning.

But now…?

“Is this too much?” I ask. “I mean, we can go back to campus and talk.”

Knox shakes his head. “No need for that, baby.”

I look at the balcony again.

I turn away and walk past the kitchen toward the bedrooms.

A two bedroom apartment with a nice sized bathroom and a large walk-in closet across from that.

The two bedrooms are at the back of the apartment.

I look at the two bedroom doors.

I picture on the door to my right… everything pink…

I start to blush.

… or blue. Or green. Or yellow.

Knox touches my hips. “What are you doing?”

“Thinking,” I say.

“Good thinking?”

“Really good thinking, Knox.”

He reaches around me and opens the bedroom door that would serve as the nursery.

I walk around the room, instantly picking out what can go where.

The crib. The changing table. Stuff to hang on the walls.

It’s a bit overwhelming to think about.

How much we need for a baby that’s going to be so small.

It’s a total takeover of life.

I look at Knox and he once again seems a bit dazed.

Standing in the doorway, like he’s afraid to enter the room.

“Do you like it?” I ask him.

“Do you?”

Before I can answer, he turns and goes to the other bedroom.

I follow him and watch as he stands in the middle of the room, looking around.

I love the windows. Two large windows.

I love that the room is right next to the other.

A shared wall.

Makes me feel closer to the baby.

Then again, from what I’ve read, the baby will be in our room.

So we need a crib in here.

It’s really a lot to take in and think about.

“Knox?” I whisper.

He slowly turns. “Yeah?”

“I kind of love this place.”

“You do?”

I nod.

“It’s not very big, Willow.”

“It’s an apartment. It’s a place to start. Right?”

“You’re sure?”

I step closer to Knox. I can sense something is off.

I reach up and touch his face.

“So this is our new bedroom,” I whisper. “And this is kind of where the bed will be.” My left hand touches his leg and then moves between his leg and I cup his heavy bulge. “We should try the place out. See how it… feels…”

Knox slightly grins.

He touches my face. “This is the kind of attitude that got you into trouble.”

“Are you blaming me for this? You’re the one with the seed.”

“You’re the one with the… wet soil…”

I cringe. “Never, ever refer to my vagina or womb as wet soil…”

“So this isn’t a good time to say I want to play in your dirt?”

“Knox, that’s gross… or it sounds gross…”

I jump to my toes and kiss him.

We don’t need to talk.

His hands then lock to my hips.

My baby bump is bigger now… it feels like it grows by the hour right now…

It’s not exactly in the way yet.

I’m taking advantage while I can.

I squeeze at his bulge.

I want him. I really do want him right now.

“Knock! Knock!”

I quickly turn, blushing, feeling guilty…

“What do we think?” Sandy asks.

“It’s a great apartment,” I say. “We like it.”

I look back at Knox.

His face is like stone.

Too serious. Almost somber.

He leans down and brushes his lips to my cheek.

Then he approaches Sandy like he’s going to say something…

But he simply excuses himself.

What the hell?

I chase after Knox.

He’s in the dining room when I catch up and grab his left arm.

“Knox, what’s going on with you right now?” I ask.

“I have a thing,” he says. “I forgot. I have to take care of something.”

“What? Knox…”

“You should text Mila. Tell her and the others to come over. Check the place out.”

“You’re really leaving right now?”

“I need you to trust me, Willow. Okay?”

“What does that mean?”

“I have something I have to do right now,” Knox says. “I know the timing sucks. I just… just text Mila. Or Ruby. Or Violet. Okay?”

I’m speechless.

Knox kisses my forehead.

Then he turns and takes off.

I watch him leave.

I watch the door shut.

Sandy steps up next to me.

“He seems excited,” she says. “So do you. If you’re ready to take the next step, I have some paperwork for you to look over. Have you ever rented a place before?”

“No,” I say without looking at Sandy.

“Okay, so what we’ll do is-”

“Excuse me, I have to pee,” I say. “Baby is treating my bladder like a soccer ball.”

I rush to the bathroom and lock the door.

I stare at myself in the mirror.

I take a deep breath.

Something just happened with Knox. That’s for sure.

I swallow hard.

If you ask me… I can tell you exactly what just happened with Knox…

The moment caught up to him.

The moment was too big for him.

His promise to me suddenly got too big.

So Knox took off… to leave me alone.