Chapter 8

8

Joey

Classes start again in a few days which means Nick and I won’t have a room to ourselves at all hours for long. No more sleepovers in our boxers like our current situation.

Nick’s warm, sleep-loosened body is pressed against my back, his arm under my neck, and his knee between mine. I thread my fingers through his, a slow smile lifting my lips when he stirs a little. Nick pushes his face into my neck and grumbles something about morning people.

His other hand slides down my stomach to run along the waistband of my underwear.

“I thought you hated morning people?” I close my eyes and lean into him.

“If I have to be awake, I might as well get an orgasm out of it.” Nick bites my ear and scrapes my neck with his prickly face. He slides his hand inside and pumps me slowly. A shudder has goosebumps breaking out on my skin and I can feel Nick smiling against my skin. “I love the way you react to me.”

“I love the way you touch me,” I groan.

I roll my hips and close my eyes, letting myself get lost in him. We both know this can’t last, we have to get back to school and I still have hockey for another two or three months, and his roommate is going to be back in a few days. But right now, today, in this moment, I can just enjoy him.

It’s still early enough that I don’t need to worry too much about being quiet so I don’t hold back my moans or the hitches in my breathing that sound like whimpers.

“Hmm such a needy boy,” Nick says against my neck and squeezes the base of my dick. In the blink of an eye, his hand is gone and he’s settling between my thighs. I reach for him, wanting to feel his weight against me, but he doesn’t seem to want to give me what I want.

“Nick,” I whine while wrapping my legs around his hips and grinding up against him.

“Pull your dick out, stroke it for me.” The demand in his voice has my hand doing exactly that with no hesitation. My brain doesn’t even try to process it, just reacts.

For once in my fucking life, I don’t have to think about the consequences, implications, what is expected of me. All I have to do is feel and let him take care of me. It’s a completely foreign concept. No one takes care of me.

“Look at me,” Nick growls and I focus on him. I didn’t realize I had zoned out and got lost in my head. He’s released his own cock and wraps his hand around both of us to show me what he wants. “Jack us off, make us come.”

Using both of my hands, I grip us tightly as he lets go and thrusts against my hands.

With his eyes locked on mine, he forces pleasure onto both of us. His pupils are blown with arousal and a light sheen of sweat covers his skin. This guy is gorgeous and for whatever reason, he wants to be with me. He puts up with my baggage.

I can feel my dick softening in my grip and embarrassment heats my cheeks. Fuck! Why? This is not how I wanted to start today!

Nick leans over me, his lips a whisper above mine. “Do you need to be filled, stretched, and taken?”

I bite my bottom lip and whimper in that pathetic little voice he says he loves.

He smirks, it’s a promising lift of his lips, and he licks my throat.

“It’s fine.” I grip him hard in my hand, working his dick quickly so he’ll come.

“Joey,” he lifts my chin and waits until I meet his gaze before continuing. “If you want to slow down and work yourself back up, it’s okay. Trust me. It’s no hardship to have my hands on you.”

This can’t last, can it? My chest tightens with fear and embarrassment and feelings I don’t have any right to have. Lifting my arm, I drop it over my face to cover my eyes before I start crying like a big baby.

Why do I have to be like this? What twenty-five-year-old has problems keeping their dick hard? Why do I have to be broken?

A soft mouth brushes mine below my arm, then the tip of a tongue runs along the ridge of my bottom lip. I let him distract me, use him to get out of my head. Sliding my arm off my face, I run my fingers through his hair and cup the back of his head.

Nick puts more of his weight on me and fucks into my mouth with his tongue.

His hips slide against mine in a slow roll until I’m panting.

“I have an idea.” Nick wags his eyebrows and hops off the bed to dig through a box under his bed. He’s back in a flash with a silicone-covered bullet vibrator and a couple clothespins.

I look at him skeptically. “You do know that I’m no stranger to sex toys, right?”

He scoffs and settles between my thighs. “When was the last time a partner used them on you?”

Okay, he may have a point there.

Nick leans over me to suck on my nipples. He doesn’t touch anything else, only his mouth on the sensitive skin.

I know the bite of the clothespin is coming and anticipating that pain is doing weird things to me. I want it but I’m almost afraid of it at the same time, which is confusing my dick.

I hiss at the pinch when he clamps the pin on my skin. He gives the other nipple the same treatment and my dick twitches. With a devilish smile, he kisses me and flicks the pins, making my back arch off the mattress.

I’m panting and half hard when Nick sits up and reaches for the lube.

“I’m still good from last night, I don’t need prep.”

Nick lifts an eyebrow and meets my gaze. “You sure?”

“Just fuck me, Wyhe.”

With a smile, he coats his thick cock and pushes against my hole.

I groan at the slight stretch as he thrusts in and grinds against my ass.

“Please,” I beg in that little voice. I don’t know why it comes out with him but I love that he likes it.

His nostrils flare and he sets a quick, hard pace. This isn’t soft, slow morning sex, this is the kind of fucking that proves a point.

I grip my dick, stroking fast until I’m finally hard again.

Nick grips my hips, changing the angle just a little to get deeper, and I arch off the bed. My orgasm is building, my muscles tightening, and tingles spreading. He rips off the clothespins and the new sensation shoves me over the edge.

“Fuck.” That sweet voice only he can pull from me comes loose as my body tightens with my orgasm. “Daddy!” The word flies from my mouth as warm cum lands on my stomach and my fingers tighten in the sheets until my knuckles are white. There’s nothing past Nick fucking me, the endorphins flooding my brain, and my harsh breathing.

“Oh, duuuude.” A voice I’ve never heard before comes from behind Nick and we both freeze. I can feel my eyes getting wide as I stare at him in horror. Nick’s entire body is tight with tension as he quickly looks over his shoulder.

“Shit,” he snaps and pulls out of me. “Dude! Get the fuck out!” Nick yells at whoever that is and pulls up his boxers. “Joey, you’re okay.”

I barely hear the words as I scramble for clothes and shove past Nick’s roommate, running from the room. There’s nothing in my head except the need to get away. My brain is telling me I’m in danger and need to run, need to get away. I make a break for the stairwell and run as fast as I can down them, then push my way outside into the cold air. The icy concrete seeps into my feet and helps calm me. The swift change in my environment pulls me out of my fight-or-flight response and lets me breathe.

My breath is a cloud in front of me and my bare arms prickle as I cover my face with my hands.

Fuck. What the hell am I going to do? Did Nick’s roommate recognize me? Would he if he saw me again? I can’t risk it and go back to Nick’s room. I guess what we were doing is done now.

It was never supposed to be anything major. I don’t have time or energy for a relationship. I have to focus on finishing up my hockey season and graduating. Helping Mom and Charlotte with Matt. Coming out and having a boyfriend is drama I don’t want to deal with. I haven’t heard many homophobic slurs in the locker room this year but that doesn’t mean a closet homophobe isn’t lurking. Sports are notorious for toxic masculinity and homophobia.

Then why does the idea of not seeing him again hurt so much?

I rub at the ache in my chest and force back the tears that threaten to fall.

“Yo! Carp!” A voice behind me makes me jump, my heart pounding as my body prepares for an attack. “What are you doing out here with no jacket, man?”

Bryce cocks his head with a confused expression on his face.

“And where are your shoes?”

“Oh, uh.” I look down at my feet, at my toes that are an angry shade of red that’s starting to turn purple. Oops. “I needed to cool down for a minute.”

He shrugs and holds the door open as I hobble toward him. The small pebbles on the concrete are like knives on the bottoms of my feet. I guess they aren’t quiet numb yet.

“Joey.” Nick bursts through the door of the stairs and makes a beeline for me. I quickly put my captain mask on. We both knew what this was when it started. We were just fooling around during the break and maybe a random hookup or two during the season when both of us had time and an itch to scratch.

“Hey, what’s up?” I shove my frozen fingers into my pockets and cringe as the rough fabric scratches my sensitive skin.

Bryce is standing by the elevator pretending like he isn’t listening, but he clearly is.

Nick grabs my arm and pulls me into the stairwell.

“Are you okay? My roommate is cool, he won’t say anything.”

“How do you know that?” I cross my arms over my chest like it’ll help protect me from my feelings. It’s laughable, really. I’m an adult, yet here I am, wishing things could be different. Life isn’t easy for me, it never has been, so why did I think this would be any different?

“Because he’s on the football team and is an underclassman trying to get to first string. If he causes problems, he won’t make it.”

I can’t meet Nick’s eyes despite how desperately I want him to hold me right now. But I can’t give in.

“Well, we knew this was a limited time thing anyway, so it’s fine.” I shrug and force myself to straighten my shoulders. I’m twenty-five, the captain of the Darby U hockey team, and a senior. I will deal with this head-on and stop running. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”

I push past him and hate myself for the hurt I see in his dark eyes and the droop of his shoulders. I can’t have the distraction of a relationship. There’s too many things at play here, and I need to focus on my responsibilities. Once I graduate, I have to make sure my siblings are taken care of, make sure Mom can retire eventually. I don’t have time for a boyfriend.

Doesn’t matter how safe he makes me feel. Or how seen. Doesn’t matter that he’s the first guy to give a shit about what I need and not make me seem like a freak.

My gut clenches as I hold back the emotions.

This is why I do meaningless hookups when the need gets to be too much. There’s nothing but lust and hopefully an orgasm or two before we part ways.

“Everything good?” Bryce gives me a chin lift and I nod.

“Yeah, no big deal.” I sigh and push the button for the fifth floor. “He wanted to check in on our dumbass freshman that got drunk a few nights ago.”

I catch Nick’s gaze through the glass in the stairwell door as the elevator closes and I hate how much I want to reach for him.