8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

Juliette

FedEx Man was chatting up Cora in the lobby when I walked in with Kelsey. I wasn't in my dancewear and even though, technically, I had on more clothes than he'd ever seen me in, I felt naked with the way he looked me up and down. All the girls snapped their attention to me, their phones dropping to their laps as they practically pulled out popcorn and readied themselves for a show.

"Go stretch," I commanded. When they didn't budge, I said sternly, "Go stretch now, or adagio only for center."

A stampede of pointe shoes and shrieking teens bulldozed down the hallway and into the back room.

"Impressive," Nathaniel said. "Sign here." Cora made herself busy and went to the back room, saying something about watching the girls.

"They're terrified of me," I shrugged.

"What's adagio?"

"It's my favorite form of torture. Lots of holding your leg up very slowly for extended periods of time."

"No pain no gain," he chuckled.

I couldn't wait. I ripped open the box to reveal the custom tutu overlays I commissioned. They were stunning. The beadwork was breathtaking, and worth every last penny I paid.

"What are those for?" he asked.

I held one up for Nathaniel to admire. "These lay on top of a standard platter tutu." I wrapped it around my waist and fidgeted with the ties. "They're handmade. "

"They must have cost a small fortune. I can't imagine lots of people are making them." He came up behind me and stood too close, snapping the button for me. My cheeks burned and my heartbeat galloped.

"Yeah," was my stupid reply.

"Does this mean you'll go out with me?"

"We should just keep our relationship professional." I slinked away from him, spreading out the overlay to check the size.

"Really? I'm just your delivery guy. I'll request a different route so that you won't have to worry about being," he paused, eyes dropping to my lips, "professional."

"I'm really busy," I started my usual spiel when someone asked me out. Nathaniel was the blonde hair, blue-eyed wonder of all my teenage fantasies. His smile was infectious, and his muscled forearms were dreamy. There was no reason for me to push him away…

"Quit dancing around me. What's the worst that will happen? You might like me? You won't? It's just dinner."

Yet, I kept pushing… "I work nights," I said, gesturing to the studio.

"Lunch, then." He took a step towards me and scanned the lobby to make sure the coast was clear before taking another step.

A swarm of butterflies bloomed in my chest. It had been a long time since I'd been on a date. I'd been flirting with Nathaniel for what seemed like ages. "Maybe," my voice trailed, a smile tugging the corners of my lips.

Nathaniel held out his hand. "Give me your phone."

I didn't hesitate. I handed it over and he added his name into my contacts. I watched his rugged hands with an ever-quickening heartbeat.

"Everyone calls me Nate." He texted his phone with my name, so that he'd have my number. "You pick a day and time, and I'll make reservations somewhere nice. What do you like to eat?"

"Nothing fancy." Our fingers touched as I took my phone back.

"I keep it low-key for the first date. Second date, I'll take you to this steak house wine bar. I'd love to see you all dolled up in a dress and heels. "

"What makes you think we will have a second date?"

"Mmm," the hum a low purr in his throat, "I have a feeling about you. I've been trying to get your number since I started this route a year ago."

"Is that so?" I was beet red and melting under his cocksure gaze.

"Come on, Juliette. We've been flirting for months. You really going to keep denying that you're curious?"

I slipped past him and walked away. "I have to start class," I said, preparing myself for the barrage of teenage gossips.

"See you next time, Miss Juliette." He winked and exited the building, leaving me at least ten degrees hotter than I was five minutes ago.

As predicted, ten curious, nosey little teens rushed to me asking a million questions. Cora and Ina joined them from afar. "No, I am not dating him. No, we are not engaged. No, we are not getting married. Mind your own business and get to the barre. Miss Ina, I'll teach this class and then you can take over the rest of the night."

She and Cora shared a look that I knew damn well meant they were going to gossip about me for the next hour, pick a wedding dress and compile a list of venue options.

They'd better have the sense to keep it to themselves, though. I was in no mood to deal with adults who weren't the least bit frightened of me and would persevere when all the girls had already quieted and given up.

I hated that Caleb had been right. The normalcy of taking class and teaching it released some of the tension between Kelsey and me. We were still holding this huge secret in front of her closest friends, like an invisible boulder that Kelsey desperately needed my help to hold up. Together we shared the relief only a good, hard workout could provide.

The feeling faded on the way home. I snuck a peek to Kelsey, who stared blankly ahead. "How are you feeling about all this?"

"Numb," was her reply.

"It doesn't feel real, does it?"

"Caleb seems like a nice guy, I guess," she said. It was what I wanted to hear .

"I think he is. Promise me that you will come to me and tell me if anything happens. Anything." As if saying the word twice would magically compel her to do so.

"Sure." A smile, small.

Forced.

"I know it's hard, but if you were put in the foster system, you'd be with strangers who knows where." Whether I said that for her or for me was irrelevant. It was a line drawn in sand, built with the most fragile of truths.

"I know. I'm lucky that he signed the papers and whatever."

"Plus, he's moving here, so that you can stay. I think that speaks a lot to his commitment to being your father."

"Yeah."

"I'll talk to him about not buying a new house."

We went silent again. I watched all afternoon as Kelsey surrendered to her lot in life. To this trajectory of her future. As always, she was cool and stoic. Her breakdown earlier was the first time I'd ever seen her cry as a teen. This little thing next to me was stronger than I ever was, especially at her age.

I guessed a life of mild neglect did that to you. I wondered just what kind of mother Erin had been when she was around. It didn't matter. I couldn't waste any time thinking about that. Now, Kelsey had Caleb. I'd have to let that relationship grow. I sent a prayer up to the gods above that it would blossom quickly.

Kelsey dropped her dance bag in the entryway. "I'm tired. I have a lot of homework."

"I hoped we would talk," Caleb said from the couch.

She huffed irritably. "There's nothing to talk about. You're my guardian now. End of story."

Caleb looked to me for support. I knew she wouldn't defy me. "Kelsey, come sit." She hesitated, then sat on the loveseat across from Caleb. I took the side-chair. I'd practiced what I would say once we got into the house the whole way home and I would surely be expected to mediate. "Let's start with some boundaries. Kelsey is there anything you want or don't want happening?" This wasn't the first time I smoothed over a hard situation between two people… they were usually teenage girls, or pas de deux partners, but how different could this be?

"I'm not calling you dad," she said flatly.

"That's fair." Caleb nodded.

"Don't leave a mess anywhere. I'm not cleaning up after you." Kelsey picked at the skin around her nails.

"I pick up after myself."

She pursed her lips. "You have to always have clothes on."

Caleb and I both cocked our heads to the side and then shot a look at each other.

Kelsey's voice came out less assertive, "Mom's boyfriends used to walk around in their boxers, and I hated that."

"Is there something you should tell us," Caleb asked, his voice so low and quiet it was barely audible.

"No. Nothing like that ever happened. She just… had lots of boyfriends and it was gross. Also, don't touch my stuff, or go in my room."

"What about when I have to clean it?"

"I'll clean it. Mom never cleaned anything, so it's fine."

"I'm sorry about that," Caleb said.

She grimaced, "Yeah, well at least it prepared me for this."

"You shouldn't have had to prepare for this." Caleb rested his elbows on his knees and for a split second they made eye contact, maybe for the first time, and I thought I saw hope in Caleb's expression. In Kelsey, at the very least a flash of appreciation.

"Caleb, do you have any boundaries?" I asked, steering the conversation.

"Just two." He shifted nervously in his seat. "Aside from the obvious that you stated, so that we can live in harmony. I… I just want you to have dinner with me every night that you aren't at the studio. I think, maybe—and I know you don't want to talk about this right now—we should eventually buy a house together. I can buy anything in this district that you want. We will stay in this one for as long as you want. It's yours. However, Erin is still in this house. I can't take over her room. I won't. When you're ready, we should start fresh somewhere new. I want to start fresh somewhere new."

So, he wasn't backing down on that.

"Are you rich?" Kelsey asked bluntly.

Caleb glanced at me, a muscle in his jaw flexing. "We can talk about that another time. Just, trust me."

"What about driving her around? We have to think about her schedule and your work hours," I cut in.

"It's handled. I'll take my lunch when it's time to pick you up if you stay afterschool and miss the bus."

Kelsey nodded. "Okay, so are we done?" She stood and waited to be dismissed.

"You can always talk to me," Caleb said, sincerity painted across his expression.

"Yep," Kelsey answered. "Okay, g'night."

"I'll be out here," I said to her back as she left us. "We'll talk more another day."

"I think that went well." Caleb shrugged.

"About as well as it can go, I suppose."

We both exhaled the weight in our chests and slumped back in our seats.

"How's FedEx guy?" Caleb teased me with a lopsided grin and a sidelong glance.

I groaned. "Not you, too. How's Vikki?"

Caleb's shoulders tensed. "She'll get over herself."

I raised a brow, curious about how his girlfriend was going to factor in all of this. I needed some more information on how serious they were and if Kelsey was getting a step-mother anytime soon.

"Thanks for everything so far." Caleb rubbed the back of his neck, and I could sense immediately that something was off. "I've been thinking that you and I should set some boundaries."

"Yes?" I hadn't meant for it to come out as a question, but it took me by surprise given that he had been so open and boundary- less thus far.

"I've been thinking about everything you said today. You've been flip-flopping all day with your intentions. I can't tell what your motives are."

My spine went rigid. "Wow," I said, eye wide and mouth agape. "I'm speechless."

"Can you blame me? You kept saying that you wanted custody, and that I shouldn't. You can't replace Erin."

He drove the knife deep into my chest. I nodded slowly, waiting for him to reveal all of his thoughts. I'd learned a long time ago that a man will dig his own grave if you simply give him the space.

"I overheard you and Kelsey earlier, and I appreciate everything, really, but you have to be on my side here. It didn't sound like you were on my side when you called me an idiot."

"Mhm," I continued to nod. He'd been listening in, great. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. No, I thought. I meant it. He was an idiot if he thought he was going to be able to do this on his own. Kelsey was begging me to take her in, and he thought he could push me away and gain points with her? Fine.

Good luck, asshole .

"So, you're only staying tonight," Caleb didn't have the tone like he was warning me, but it felt like a warning all the same. He rubbed his palms on his thighs.

Good. He should be very nervous around me. "I understand," I answered in the saccharine way I did with parents when they were stepping on thin ice with me.

Caleb frowned. "I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm saying it because I really want to be her father."

"And I'm not her mother. I know."

"She clearly idolizes you and would rather you be her guardian. It's obvious that you've got a pure heart, and would do it in a heartbeat. That doesn't help me, if you both are imagining cutting me out of the picture."

He needed to shut up. This man talked entirely too much and I had the visceral urge to slap him, wrap my hands around his throat and physically shut. him. up. The hurt he caused me painted my tone, "In the span of an hour and a half you've changed your mind? Where is this coming from? You don't know the first thing about being a parent."

"Neither do you." He said matter-of-factly and that was the KO he needed.

I surrendered. My ribs closed in around my heart, crushing it. "You're right. I'll be out of your hair tomorrow. Goodnight, Caleb." I dismissed myself to the kitchen table, pulled out my laptop and stared at the screen. After a few seconds of his pacing, I heard him retreat to his room. Even if I had turned to see if he was trying to say something else to me, I wouldn't have been able to see through the tears.

Everything was so fucked up.

Caleb

I stared at the ceiling all night. Juliette was supposed to be sleeping in the living room, and although I was dying for a glass of water, I would rather be damned than risk walking past her. I could hear her in there, typing on her laptop and ruffling papers. It was past midnight and she still hadn't gone to sleep. She was probably planning on staying up forever.

Kelsey had bolted her door shut. So, I had to face the fact that she was afraid of me. That thought was so unpleasant that I preferred to scowl at Juliette's night-owl activities.

And damn, I needed to pee.

What I really needed to do was man-up, because confronting Juliette about her blurring the lines between teacher and mother figure was not one of my finer moments.

She was a part of this. Whether I liked it or not.

Whether Vikki liked it or not .

And she didn't like it at all. I had a string of texts in which Vikki gave me "advice" on how to tell Juliette off. She'd planted the seeds of doubt while they were at the studio together and I was impressionable enough to let them grow. Sometimes, I felt like I was freshly eighteen again, going through the motions while Erin steered the car.

Vikki texted me multiple flight options to visit her for a weekend so I could bring back a suitcase of clothes. I explained multiple times why I could not leave New York. She told me to bring Kelsey with me. I pretended to go to sleep. Truly batting a thousand in the communication Olympics.

Vikki needed get used to coming in second because our relationship was over if she didn't. We weren't even actually in a relationship! But that was a whole other track loop to run around.

My mind wouldn't stop, it was driving me insane. I took to counting the vertical blinds on the window.

Sneaking out of the den, I padded quickly to the bathroom. I almost moaned at the intense relief I felt upon emptying my bladder. While I washed my hands, I gave myself a pep talk in the mirror. This was my house (legally); was I going to let a little waif of a ballet teacher stop me from getting a glass of water?

Yes, probably.

No. Caleb Ramirez, I took a breath, you march right in there and get a sip of water goddammit.

I shouldn't have.

Juliette glared at me over her laptop screen and all my bravado evaporated.

"Sorry," I apologized. "Just, getting some water."

She looked back down at her screen and continued to type.

"What are you working on?"

"Grant application."

"Cool. What is it for?"

"Goodnight, Caleb," she said, not even glancing up.

"Okay then. Good talk. "

She lifted her brows, eyes still on the screen, the only light in the dark house. I wanted to tell her that she shouldn't do that, because the eye strain was worse in the dark like this. Instead, I took the hint and the glass of water with me.

My mother would faint if she knew I was taking a glass into a bedroom.