29. Chapter 29

Chapter twenty-nine

Juliette

"This is my favorite performance of the year!" My student grabbed at his partner and lifted her.

"I'm sure it has nothing to do with the coasters, and everything to do with donating your time to spread the love of ballet, right?"

"Absolutely, Miss Juliette. I just love dancing for a crowd of people who don't appreciate ballet in the slightest."

"It's not really a donation if they pay us in park tickets," Kelsey added.

Smartass.

They were right, though. The crowd always dwindled when we were up. All the other studios that came to the dance festival brought upbeat pop music. So, yes, I also was here for the coasters, even though I pretended it was for the love of ballet.

This performance was always the first taste of true Spring for all of us, but especially the students. They were finally old enough to run off unchaperoned and chase the adrenaline high of freedom. Every year I unleashed them into a playground where they could be as loud and carefree as they wanted. While us adults, we could indulge in the sun-sweet feeling of youth, too, as we put adulthood on hold and joined them. It helped that we "paid" for this with performing, which was a high in and of itself.

Afterwards, the adults waited in clusters for the dancers to bring them their costumes so that they could stuff them in their trunks and enter the theme park. I looked around at all the various parental cliques. Caleb, I noticed, stayed on the periphery of the Friday night crowd.

He looked good in that gray tee-shirt and jeans that hugged his hips just so .

The herd of dancers emerged from the changing area, boisterous and bursting with the after-performance high, tutus blowing in the wind over their shoulders. Scanning for Kelsey, I watched as she headed towards Caleb after a brief inner battle where she looked between the two of us.

Whatever conversation I had been having faded to the periphery as I watched their exchange. Caleb's surprise and suppressed excitement. Kelsey's tentative forfeit of her costume and dance bag. A brief conversation, that ended with Kelsey accepting some cash from her father's wallet. They smiled.

I smiled with them, headed to Caleb, and forfeited my keys to him.

On the walk back through security, Damion called to us, "Caleb, you're coming with us."

"Yay, Miss Juliette finally gets a partner to ride with!" Cora clapped.

"Not that we don't love taking turns riding with you," Xander elbowed me suggestively.

"Careful, there's nothing Jules won't ride." Rita, I would kill her.

"Well, then we have that in common," Caleb said, avoiding looking at me.

"I'm sure you have a lot more than that in common," Cora teased. I shot her a very stern look and she withered a little, but not enough to stop her from laughing, pressing her cheek to her husband's arm to hide.

We passed stands of mouth-watering deep fried sweets to jump on line for the first coaster. The ladies clustered together while the husbands—and Caleb—turned to one another also. We chatted about the end of the school year, updates on their personal lives, the right kind of countertop stone to avoid juice stains. I found myself making eye contact with Caleb across the ropes.

Cora noticed.

"Juliette, you and Caleb drove here together?"

"No. Caleb, Kelsey, and I carpooled. It didn't make sense to take two cars."

It was in that moment that I realized Rita and Cora were in cahoots. There is no bond more powerful than two women in cahoots .

"How's that going?" Rita said. The rest of the Friday crew's ears perked up and it took a monumental effort not to glance at Caleb, who I could feel listening to us while the other guys talked cars or trucks or whatever it was men like to talk about.

"There are some rough patches," I said. "Kelsey's going through a lot, but it's getting so much better."

"You guys have dinner together most nights, right?" Cora prompted.

I prayed the line ahead of us would disappear. "Like I said on Friday—weeks ago—we built a routine so that Kelsey could have some stability. When I'm at the studio, it's just them. When I'm not, it's all three of us. Move up Cora, the line's moving."

That witchy grin spread across her lips. She understood the subtext that I was not talking about my home life, but nothing ever stopped Cora from getting what she wanted. Ever. She looked me up and down suggestively. "You sure that sundress isn't going to give us all a show?"

"I'm wearing shorts underneath," I laughed, pulling up the hem to reveal a pair of blue bike shorts. I caught Caleb's gaze again, riding up the line of my leg and flicking up past my body to make eye contact. The innocent gesture suddenly felt seductive and teasing under that glance that wiped the smile from his lips.

"Me too!" One of the mom's lifted her loose-fitting romper. "Just in case the material blows up!"

Caleb didn't look in her direction. We were still suspended in a moment where we both remembered where his hands had been.

"I wish I had thought of that," someone said.

I broke eye contact and snapped back into conversation. He couldn't look at me like that. We couldn't look at each other like that.

When we got to the front of the line, all the women squeezed by each other to reach their spouse and pair up. In the movement, the line behind us pushed us all forward until Caleb and I were pressed up against one another as we waited for the next car to arrive. My back to his front.

A memory of the way we danced .

Xander said something and I could feel the vibrations of Caleb's laughter in his chest against my spine. The gates opened and we started boarding the roller coaster in pairs. Caleb and I were last and since there weren't enough cars to fit us, we had to wait for the next ride.

We stepped behind the gate as instructed. Caleb leaned into my ear, "You look a little scared, Miss Juliette."

"Whatever you have to tell yourself, Mister Ramirez."

We were called to the front of the next car and took our seats, pulling down the over-the-shoulder restraints.

"It's okay, sweetie," Caleb said, looking over at me, "It only lasts about a minute."

"How many women have you said that to?" I quipped as the car launched forward into a drop and twisting roll. My voice broke to a scream.

I could hear Caleb's laughter through the drop and exhilarating feeling of flying.

Coaster after coaster we played the same game until we hit the final coaster that none of the other parents wanted a part of. I had made a reservation at the only on-site restaurant that served alcohol for the group so there was a moment of discussion before we parted ways and they headed to the restaurant early to check-in.

Caleb and I entered an indoor area that was cut off to the next section of the line. The story of some superhero was playing on a big screen that held almost everyone's attention. After twenty minutes of inching forward and in-depth discussion ranking the roller coasters, Caleb dropped his voice to just above a whisper, "I want to kiss you right now."

He did this to me—surprised me into silence. This time in the darkened labyrinth of the coaster's line. I parted my lips, searching for a reply.

"I won't, for obvious reasons, but I can't keep my eyes off of you."

I fought all day against the magnetic pull of his smile. The adrenaline rush, and laughter, and this feeling that we were not on this earth, but somewhere else for a day. A brief reprieve from reality in a playground built for that very feeling. Invincible. Daring.

Like I could admit that I wanted him in the dim lighting and eager anticipation for a cheap thrill.

"If we had met under any other circumstances," I started.

The line moved around the corner. Caleb clasped his hands around my hips and pulled me into him, a memory stirring in my core. "We can just," he pressed his lips to my ear, "give in. Just a little."

I shivered at the echo of how I'd begged him two nights before.

"We said we were done."

"I lied," Caleb whispered in my ear. "I meant it, before. A little bit. But I've come to realize that I was lying."

We walked forward a few steps in that half embrace. "People can see us," I said. He let go of my waist and my body lamented the lack of his touch.

"I'll drag you into a dark corner." His breath sent an exquisite zip of lust through my body.

I turned and walked backwards, faces just inches apart. "And what?" I teased with my fingertips loosely laced in his.

He pulled me in by the fingertips and dropped his whisper to the place where my hairline met the curve of my ear, "And then no one will see all of the things I wish we could do now that we're sober."

Careless.

"There's an exit door coming up. We could chicken out," I suggested.

Please.

Caleb fixed the ballerina pendant on my chest. "No, we can't. But doesn't it feel good to imagine it?"

Yes.

"We're being very bad," I looked over my shoulder to make sure no one we knew was nearby.

"In that little sundress, Juliette, I'd do anything to see you be absolutely wicked." Caleb smirked, dissolving my resolve to a puddle at our feet.

"You like it? "

"Know what I like?" Caleb leaned in to whisper in my ear, his breath hot and sensual against my skin. The proximity of his lips to my skin lit me aflame. "Hearing you beg," he finished, letting out a breathy chuckle. The hair on my nape prickled, electricity skating down my spine, warm and delicious. Desire unfurling from every nerve ending.

The doors to the final stretch of the line opened and familiar teen voices split us apart. A group of my students were a few winding ropes ahead of us. We acted like we had been leisurely waiting together, praying our blush looked like a reaction to the heat and lighting.

"Miss Juliette, you're riding this one?" They shouted, bouncing excitedly.

"Of course I am!"

Caleb and I exchanged a speaking glance. He leaned in, making sure not to touch me at all. "No flirting in front of the students," he murmured.

"Back up, Mr. Ramirez, no flirting at all."

He did as I said and wet his bottom lip while looking me up and down. I clasped my hands behind my back, fighting the lust-infused beating of my heart. I felt a palpable joy in this flirtation between us, desire pulled so taut one touch would make it snap. His gaze dipped back down to my lips. "I still want to kiss you," he said, coolly, as if he'd been commenting on the long wait.

"We should stop." I looked over my shoulder at my students boarding the coaster. I turned back to see Caleb's grin faltering.

The car to this coaster was in rows of two. Caleb hopped in after me and pulled the lap bar down. As we slowly ascended a steep climb through a dark tunnel, I felt a hand to my cheek. I turned to listen to what Caleb had to say, leaning in to hear him over the cranking of the mechanics beneath us.

He kissed me.

Hands framing my face, lips pressed roughly in the dark to mine. The vibrations from his moan on my tongue. I grabbed his nape, ran my fingers into his hair. The closer we inched towards the summit the slower his tongue moved on mine. Every sensation heightened by the fear-laced adrenaline for the imminent drop. I tried to kiss him faster, make it last before we reached the outside world ahead of us. I felt his voice under my fingers at his throat, his kiss pulling back and barely brushing his lips to mine.

Sunset burst into view behind Caleb's dark hair and tanned skin. In that horrible moment before gravity sends the car over the summit, our eyes locked. He grabbed my hand and lifted it to the sky the very second we began the almost vertical plummet to the ground. I screamed, my hips lifting off the seat, reaching for the lap bar with the other hand. Caleb snatched that one too and forced me to endure every steep climb and fall at zero gravity, laughing with me between my screams.

My legs trembled as we headed toward the exit. I stumbled and smacked his arm. "Why did you do that?" I asked. Hadn't he noticed I gripped on to anything I could for dear life on every ride?

God, that smile, my thoughts snagged on his sidelong glance and crooked grin, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"I wanted to know if you'd kiss me back," he shrugged, eyes on the amusement park around us.

"No, I meant, why'd you force my hands up?"

"Oh," he chuckled, blushing and rubbing his jaw, "It's more fun that way. I wanted you to feel it."

"I didn't want to stop," I said, just above a whisper, heart still racing.

Caleb and I froze for a moment. People walked around us and it felt like an eternity before his hand grabbed mine and he dragged me ten feet and through a door that said "Cast Members Only."

The heavy metal door slammed shut behind us. Caleb pulled me toward him and I leapt into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist. "Just," he whispered between kisses up my neck, "a little bit." I felt his hands griping me through my bike shorts.

"It doesn't count," I said breathlessly, diving in to feel his lips against mine again. To feel his lust pressed against the throbbing ache between my legs. To catch his breath with mine. He eased me against the wall and set me down, dragging my dress up my waist and slipping his hands under the fabric to touch me skin to skin. He pulled me in, pressing my hips flush against him.

My hands were everywhere. Yanking his shirt up and running my fingers over the muscles of his back.

Breathless, eyes so dark his iris melted into his pupils, Caleb agreed. "Kissing doesn't count. And our hands are filthy so," he trapped my bottom lip between his teeth and the little burst of pain sent a shock of pleasure down my chest, "we wont go farther."

"Mhm," I agreed, kissing along the slope of his neck. Because we were just kissing. We wouldn't go any farther. We were indulging just this one time. Adults, drawing lines in the sand.

Caleb kissed me so sweet.

His gentle hold on my waist gripped harder before he slid his hands down to my ass. He parted my legs with his knee and pushed me down onto his thigh, rolling my hips forward to encourage me to relieve the need while we continued to kiss.

"Hey! Woah! You can't be here!" an unfamiliar woman's voice echoed in the corridor, scaring the fuck out of us.

Caleb apologized, way too loudly, almost shouting, "Sorry!"

An arm around my waist, and steps too big for me to keep up, we ran out of the door and burst into laughter on the other side. Caleb pulled me by the hand through the crowd, weaving past people in our hasty escape. Caleb checked in on me over his shoulder, pure mischief in every angle and line in his face.

We let our hands go and slowed down, melting into the crowd.

"That was invigorating," he murmured.

"Nothing like a brisk run to cool you down," I replied impishly.

"You're a fantastic kisser," Caleb said, under his breath so only I could hear him. "Never wanted anyone more in my life." This he muttered to himself while rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't think I could hear him over the crowd.

The words haunted me well into dinner, where we had been seated (quite obviously) right next to one another. Caleb was too charming for his own good, holding conversation as though he'd known them as long as I had. I couldn't take a sip of wine without feeling his eyes on me, whispering flashes of his fingers inside of me, and a frantic kiss on a rollercoaster that led to not more than five minutes against a wall.

The alcohol did nothing but make my desire to touch him bolder.

I took a deep breath, because I had business to do despite everything I was feeling. I set down my cup and cleared my throat. "I have an announcement to make." The table fell eerily silent. "I may have deceived all of you. We're not repainting tomorrow because I'm tired of the wall colors. We're repainting because the color was discontinued and we've got to make it match the space next door."

"Oh my God!" Cora jumped up. "We're expanding?"

"Yes!" I said. Cora squealed and started squeezing me in her arms. I continued over her excitement, "I'll be signing the contract shortly and I'm paying for dinner tonight to put you all in my debt for the reno."

Caleb, as everyone gasped and started to clap, slipped his hand to my thigh and squeezed. "Congratulations," he said with the others, pretending he didn't already know. His hand came above the table to clap along with everyone, and there was a quick toast to my success.

The group split up for dessert, every couple wanting a different sweet from different areas of the park. Caleb and I waited for everyone to say what they wanted first, so that we could pick something different. Silent, unspoken cahoots.

Caleb pressed a finger into my shoulder as we walked towards the mini doughnut stand. "I think you got a little sunburned."

"You're looking for excuses to touch me," I peeked at him side-long.

He trailed his fingers down my arm and touched his fingers to mine as he replied, "Well, we both washed our hands after dinner."

"Stop." I said it. I didn't mean it.

Caleb shoved his hands in his pockets and I held tightly to the strap of my bag.

With a bucket of miniature glazed doughnuts in my arms, we sat on a brick wall and watched the fireworks display. We could see the back of Kelsey's head a few feet ahead of us, clustered with her friends, taking selfies.

Caleb kicked his feet idly, unaware of his nervous habits. I scooted the two inches that separated us so that our thighs lined up and his legs stopped moving. "My family loves fireworks," Caleb said, smiling up at the sky. "We never missed an opportunity to see them when I was a kid. Haven't seen 'em in years. I can't remember the last time."

"Well, do you still like them?" I handed him a donut .

"Who doesn't like fireworks?"

"A lot of people."

His neck snapped to look down at me. "Yeah, a lot of miserable people."

I plucked a glazed donut from the bucket and realized I would have to respond with my mouth full. "I guess my parents are miserable, then."

"Yes, they are. When I meet them, I'll make sure to take them to see the fireworks," he said plainly. Like this would be the natural progression of things.

My chest ached for a moment while watching the color from the fireworks reflect against his handsome face.

The drive home with Kelsey was bearable only because she fell asleep almost immediately. With the reminder of why we could not go there together snoring peacefully in the backseat, guilt gnawed at my insides. Caleb and I had been so stupid. So reckless. Anyone could have seen us. Kelsey would be so disgusted with us if she knew.

I looked over at him, driving with one hand on the wheel, the other elbow resting on the window, hand on his temple. He was as deep in thought as I was.

The adrenaline high had worn off, and now silence stretched the entire two-hour drive home.

The moment I slipped into bed my phone vibrated.

You were quiet on the way home. Are we okay? Caleb asked.

I could say the same thing. I replied, bolting upright.

I wasn't talking because you weren't talking.

You're always talking!

There was a pause and then a straight faced emoji lit my screen. I smiled down into my phone, my heart fluttering in my chest. But are we okay, though? he asked.

Yes, everything's fine. I sighed, relieved things weren't going to get weird between us.

That's the last time. No more little bits…

I felt a twisting sensation as I replied. Last time, I swear. And it didn't count remember?

Right.

The three most menacing dots known to mankind popped up and stayed on my screen as Caleb typed and deleted and typed and deleted. I started typing, too, and deleted and typed and deleted, until his text bubble popped up.

Goodnight, he said.

That's not what he wanted to say.

Goodnight. See you tomorrow, I said.

That's not what I wanted to say.

It took a lot longer to fall asleep than I expected.

When I woke up, a text had come through from Caleb. I'm lying. I don't want it to be the last time.