20. Chapter Twenty

Steady beats pulse beneath my skin as I rest my forehead on Emrys's neck. I fidget with my fingers, barely able to keep in the bile that keeps rising at the all-consuming feeling of impending destruction. There's no way for me to explain to the others what I'm feeling without sounding fucking crazy, but it's like every cell in my body is frantically running around, screaming that he's just about here. I could barely keep any food down earlier, though Em made me eat a little. I swallowed through the stomach convulsions to appease his worry, though I regret it at the moment.

We're sitting in the dining area, him and the prince conversing with their parents and the other gods. Calix and the rest of the demis are at the camp making final preparations; my heart tugs…I could use some of his stupid motivational words right now.

I don't want to seem weak in front of everyone, but Cas and Em's hands on me are the only things keeping me together at the moment. The captain rests his right hand under mine, allowing me to trace the lines of his palm over and over again, as I have been for the last hour. His left arm extends behind me, holding on to Casmir's chair. The prince leans on an elbow, his body tilted toward the rest of the table while his other hand runs idly over my back.

I've been trying to focus on their conversation, catching random words here and there, but I can't seem to get my mind to slow enough to handle more than that.

He's coming.

He's crossed the mountains.

He's here.

I clear my throat, willing the unyielding thoughts away. They do not listen. It hurts because we cannot even enjoy our bonding, or the fact that we're all whole for the first time in our lives.

The overwhelming peace that I felt waking up in the cave after our bonding was incredible. It was as if we were living on a slanted axis for decades, only to have evened out upon completing our souls. I want so badly to just spend several days alone with them, enjoying this new intimacy we share.

But we can't.

And even worse than that…my protectiveness of them has apparently increased a significant amount. Upon leaving the cave after the ceremony, poor Leia found us to talk to Cas about something. But she may have looked at him a little too long, and my skin may have sprouted fire that threatened to consume her…that was not my intention, but it's certainly something I'll need to work on.

If we make it out of this alive.

Because he's here.

He's waiting.

I sigh and look at the exposed part of my chest, where my new marking sits. Cas and Em have the same one, all of us having woke up with them after our bonding. It's small, four circles that look like a toothpick swept through the middle to pull them toward the four points at the edges. I assume that each circle represents one of us, including Xamira. I've wondered if she has the same marking hiding under all of that silky fur.

I run my finger over the mark just as an ominous prick of awareness shoots through my spine. My eyes snap up directly to my mother, who sits on the other side of the table with her hands folded into one fist. She's glaring at my marking as if it's the most vile thing she's ever seen. Heavy satisfaction flows through me at that. Her eyes drag up to mine, darkening when she sees I'm watching her. I smirk, lifting the hand from my chest to flip her off, then dismissing her as if she's worth nothing more than a fleeting thought.

Maybe that was childish. And maybe I don't fucking care. I have decades of rebellious behavior to make up for before she finally drags her ass back to Europa.

And we'll all probably be dead soon, anyway. So what does any of it matter?

My gaze finds Teryn, who watches me with the warmest smile on her face. What it would be to be raised by someone like her…she's the reason my males are so incredible in every way.

I return the smile, trying not to focus on her sinking features. The graying of her skin. The pronounced lines in her hands.

She's insisted that Niair join our fight when Andras arrives, leaving her without any support. As much as we need every able body we can get, I do not feel comfortable leaving her here. It feels wrong.

I suppose everything feels wrong to me right now.

"Nell." Niair's words snap me out of my consuming thoughts. "Who did you say those sorids were? There are so many that I find I'm having trouble with their names and do not want to offend." He chuckles, reaching over to run his thumb along his wife's shoulder.

I open my mouth to answer, positioning myself to point at the sorids as I say their names. But I do not get the chance as the door bursts open, slamming into the wall. I gag, knowing exactly what this is and not able to hold the bile back any longer.

A short fae runs in, not bothering with any formalities as he rests a hand on Casmir's chair, breathing hard. His red hair is drenched, sweat running down his neck and into the brown vest that's buttoned to his throat. That has to be quite uncomfortable. His face is crimson, speaking to the urgency of his visit.

"My prince," he wheezes, holding a hand to his chest. "They are here. They were moving so fast. They cannot be more than a few hours behind me." His shoulders sag, relief coating his features.

I swivel my torso to lock eyes with my males, sharing the words we each know to be true, but do not dare to say out loud. I couldn't walk out of here thinking it was the last time I told them how much they mean to me. Maybe that's selfish, but my main goal is to keep them and Xamira alive.

Not even a second later, everyone is out of their seats and walking to the castle entrance. My steps meet the floor with purpose as I pull on a fitted, black sweater, zipping it to cover the hardened leather vest and bond marking. My hair is tied to the top of my head, and I look down to ensure I have my lace-less boots on, not wanting to find myself dead because of a lace mishap.

Crossing a foot over the other, I spin to face my males, walking backward with no less confidence. I run my hands and eyes over them, ensuring they're wearing the proper attire and there's nothing they need before we step through those doors. They let me fuss, knowing that I'm working to solidify an unfeeling mask to hide the catastrophic panic threatening to take control of my body.

Emrys spins me, draping an arm around my shoulder as we descend the front steps. "First to kill Andras gets a blowjob." I scoff, looking over at him with wide eyes.

"Excuse me? I don't have a dick. So how would that work?"

He smirks, leaning down to kiss my temple and press his lips to my ear. I shiver as his intoxicatingly dangerous voice reaches me. "All you'll need is that mouth, love, because I'm going to rip that fucker to pieces for what he's done to you. I'll fuck the corpse until his soul begs the fates to obliterate him—because he knows the moment I die, he's mine. And I will continue fucking him, mixing my cum with his tears and forcing him to choke on it until the taste of my cock is branded into his soul for eternity. He will never taste you again."

I don't realize we've stopped walking and I'm just staring at Em until Casmir bursts out laughing, sliding his hand across my waist. "I'll suck your cock right here just to see that." That gets me laughing, holding my stomach while the males tease each other about who will be on their knees first.

This might be the last time we all laugh together.

The unwanted thought sobers me immediately. I straighten and clear my throat as I walk to Xamira. I mount her, stiffening before checking behind me to ensure the rest are ready.

We command the sorids forward, weaving through the city at an impressive speed. As we pass Anloria's gates, I can't help but wonder if that was the last time I will ever see my home.

The heat from the sun's embrace withers away as the star descends along the horizon. A bone-chilling breeze takes its place, settling in the depths of my core. I am standing at the head of our army, as I insisted I be the one to speak to Andras. He's here because of me, and I would much rather not fight hundreds, if not thousands, of demons. Maybe I can talk him down and find another solution to this.

I huff a breath, casting my eyes toward the darkening sky. There will be no talking him down. The male is self-serving and delusional.

Although…he did claim to love me at one time. Maybe I can use that to get close enough to him where I'll be able to end his life. It's quite an unrealistic hope, but I will do anything to keep my bonds safe. Even beg on my knees for Andras to reconsider.

I have no shame in ensuring their safety.

Every muscle in my body stiffens as a prickling sensation slithers up my spine at the most horrifying noise I have ever heard.

Screeching. Clicking—so much clicking.

The only sound for miles was the clicking that left its throat.

I suddenly wish I could jump into Ivy's journal and tell her that she was wrong. The clicking is only one of two sounds that can be heard for miles. The other is the unnaturally rapid thumping of my heart, pumping what feels like gallons of blood through my head all at once. My vision falters, my organs trading places with my bones as I lose function of my limbs and the ability to speak. I do not think I've ever been so scared in my entire fucking life.

The blood-curdling sounds increase, effectively silencing the thousands standing behind me. It takes everything in me to be still and portray the confidence that I no longer have. I raise my chin and steel my gaze to the forest across the large field we've chosen. The sun departs quicker than normal, almost as if it does not wish to witness the things about to happen here.

Lucky bastard.

Air struggles to reach my lungs when I catch movement ahead. Every drop of blood evades my body just as things enter the field. Ten feet doesn't seem that tall in theory, but these creatures could rival entire buildings. I immediately call to my essence and throw a wall in front of our people, no longer caring if the depleted magic harms me later on. Maintaining something of this magnitude will drain me quickly, but I cannot seem to let it go.

I take in the demons, knowing I will need to face the truth of this eventually. Ivy's journal was not so far off…black, leathery skin. Three claws where their hands would be, jutting out of their skin so far they nearly touch the ground. The last of the light catches on them, highlighting just how sharp each one is. More clicking. My eyes snap to one's face, its mouth opening to…talk? Thick, incredibly sharp teeth jut from the mouth that seems to take up half its face. It leans forward, curling out a leathery tongue as it screeches so loudly I nearly cover my ears. Empty holes rest above its lip-less mouth, no eyes to be seen. Though I'm unsure of what that means?

Do their eyes just have a film, darkening the color? Do they actually not have eyes and instead use their other senses to see? And the way they lean forward when they screech…is that how they gather visuals? The same way some creatures on earth do, by utilizing sound waves reflected back to them?

Their bodies are thin, but seemingly impenetrable. It almost looks like they're wearing armor with the way their skin thickens over their torso. I assume that will not be the way to kill them. Beheading them would surely work, though getting high enough to even attempt slicing through their gangly necks is going to be extremely difficult.

All my instincts scream at me to run. To turn around, grab my bonds, and abandon the rest to this impossible fight. I want to listen.

"Anellah, my sweet!" Andras's grating voice cuts through my panicked internal war. "So kind of you to bring the rest of the gods along. It makes things much easier for me." He laughs, mimicked only by Dominik, who also seems to be the only fae not under Andras's influence.

I'm relieved that I instructed the entire army to try to incapacitate the fae instead of kill them. Most of them have no choice and do not deserve to die in a war they were quite literally dragged into.

I gesture to the entourage the ex-god brought, smirking. "All this for me, Andras? It's a little pathetic, don't you think?" Even from across the field, I watch his eyes darken and jaw clench as he visibly struggles to hold in his anger.

"And what is it you consider pathetic? These beings that I harvested from an unheard of realm?"

I hold the smirk, raising an eyebrow at him. "No," I mutter, my voice sickeningly sweet. "What's pathetic is that you brought an entire army here just because I didn't want to fuck you. Did I really hurt your ego that much?" He growls, stepping forward before Dominik grabs his arm and yanks him back, speaking low in his ear.

"Enough, Nell! We are not here to bicker!" Andras's fanboy yells, glaring at me with untamed fury. I open my mouth to retort and buy us more time to observe the demons, but the way he said my name stops me cold. I rear back, quickly searching my head for why that sounds so familiar…

"Nell, are you awake, sweetie?"

"Does that feel good, Nell?"

No fucking way. This has to be a joke. Because there is no chance that male was the foster father Imogen planted in my head. No. I don't believe it.

I killed him. I shoved him down the stairs so he could never touch me again. He can't be here.

"Nell," someone whispers, and I jolt. I tense my muscles to lessen their trembling. My eyes find the two males across from me, narrowing as they smile delightfully.

"Déjà vu, my sweet?" There's a laugh to Andras's words, as if he's been waiting a long time to let me in on this little secret. I swallow thickly, forcing the disgusting memories from my head. I need to focus.

But that doesn't stop me from searching for the witch who did that to me in the first place. I survey those I can see, my brows furrowing when Imogen is not among them.

The horrid male must see the question in my eyes. "Ah, yes. Imogen will not be joining our little gathering tonight. Or any night," he mutters on a laugh, like he's sharing a joke with himself. "She was a necessary sacrifice for them." He waves a hand to the demons, looking bored.

That was the price for her to open the bridge to Breoqan? Her fucking life?

I may hate the witch, but she was so in love and so loyal to Andras. She stayed in the human realm to watch over me for decades for him…and this is what she gets in return? Him laughing about her death as if she meant nothing?

"You're fucking pitiful, Andras." My tone conveys the disappointment I feel, and I swear I see a flash of hurt in his eyes before he masks it, gesturing with his hands as if to say this has to be done.

He opens his mouth, uttering one word that sends my stomach spinning in several directions. "Attack."