40. Chapter Forty

I told myself that I wasn’t going to do this. I had better things to do, more important things to focus on right now.

Such as the fact that when my scouts returned this afternoon, they came back empty-handed. Bran Halsigg, or whatever the fuck his real name was, was nowhere to be found.

Jeremiah had sent them out at first light, only a handful of hours, maybe, after that gathering of non-Resonant rebels was broken up by the Pyrhhan Guard. By mid-afternoon, all three of the men came back with the same answer: He was gone without a trace.

But there was just no godsdamned way. So I sent Jeremiah and Hans back out to Freyston to search for themselves.

Meanwhile, I had been searching the Archives with a handful of others from my cadre. We had scoured our records of the Pyrhhan Census, the registries of Samhaven and Ithreac, and even managed to get our hands on the most recent citizenship records from Vindyrst.

We’d found nothing. Nobody by the name of Bran Halsigg was known to exist in all of fucking Atlas—at least not according to the extensive resources of Sophrosyne. After checking the damned files two, maybe even three times over, I sent the other guards back to their posts.

And yet here I was, still sleuthing around the Archives for another reason entirely while I waited for word back from Jeremiah and Hans.

Images of Arken’s freshly bruised and bitten neck were still sharp in my mind, and I found myself on the opposite end of the building now, abusing my security clearance to poke through student records.

Was this a particularly healthy distraction? No. Was it right for me to do this? No. Did I particularly care at the moment? Also no.

I could lie to myself and say this was just a precaution—a safety measure in case Arken decided she wanted to see this guy again. A way to protect her. If the day ever came where Arken did want to settle down with someone she met here in Sophrosyne, I could see myself doing some background research… Though I found the thought of such things uncomfortably unpleasant.

As it were, I wasn’t in the mood to lie to myself. Or maybe I just didn’t have the energy. I was here because I didn’t want to think about work, and my bitter, impulsive mind chose the next best thing to fixate on in a self-flagellatory manner.

It took me all of maybe fifteen minutes to find the most likely culprit.

Mason Park. Age: Twenty-four. Fourth-year Air Conduit, originally from Samhaven. A fitting focus of study on trade and economics, seeing as his family was in service to the House of Torrents. They were merchants, with direct ties to the Lord Gabriel Ymir.

I returned his folder into the large repository, striding into the next room to thumb through another stack of current course schedules. Arken would absolutely murder me if she knew what I was doing, but she would never need to know. I wasn’t going to engage with the man, I was just morbidly curious.

Was he her type? Did she even have a type?

She and I could talk about damn near anything, but one of the few things we tended to avoid sharing stories about was our sexual conquests. I knew we both had casual sex, but I could probably count on one hand the number of times either of us had brought something up as it related to that particular subject matter. Even then, it was usually just when something particularly funny or awkward happened. Beyond that, it had just been something we naturally steered clear of, respecting one another’s privacy. The only thing that I really knew about Arken and her sexual interests was that, like me, she was attracted to both men and women.

I shouldn’t be this curious. It was none of my fucking business.

That didn’t stop me from figuring out this guy’s schedule, identifying his most likely location right about now, and stepping into the Shadows.

I had to give Arken credit, Mason Park was attractive. Even as I watched the Conduit exit his lecture hall from a comfortable distance, I could see what she might’ve seen in him.

Lean, tall, carried himself with a casual sort of confidence, as much of the wealthy elite of Atlas so often did. He was pale, but he wore it well with striking, almond-shaped brown eyes, thick lashes, and thicker brows, understated clothing. The Conduit was laughing, arm in arm with another female, and I couldn’t tell if that pleased me to see, or if it irritated me on Arken’s behalf.

I wasn’t about to follow him all night, but I also didn’t have anything else better to do at the moment, so I continued on with my observations while the pair made their way from the Academic Quarter, passing through the eastern gardens.

The other woman was clearly into him, hanging off of every word. I could only make out a few snippets of the conversation from the distance I kept, but it seemed quite bland to me. It made me wonder how many drinks it took to get Arken interested. She was way too smart for the likes of him, though the blonde on his arm now seemed vapid enough to make an even match.

She had just dropped one of her textbooks, a move so painfully obvious and intentional that I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as Park bent down to retrieve it for her. As he leaned forward, the gray-blue scarf he was wearing slipped down to reveal a bloom of pinks and purples just between where his neck met his shoulders, and I felt my blood boil.

I had been irritated when I saw the bite marks on Arken’s neck this morning, but realizing that she’d returned the favor with this prick somehow made things so much worse.

Was it the implication that I was wrong, and that he’d actually fucked her well? The idea that she enjoyed herself enough to leave her own mark on him? The potential of what that might mean, that maybe she had lied to me when she said it was just a one-night stand? Had it been her way of claiming Park as her own?

Not. Your. Concern.

My subconscious mind tried to chide me, but I didn’t give a damn. He didn’t deserve her attention, let alone her mouth on him.

And neither do you.

Yeah. I was well aware of that.

I took off in the opposite direction before I could say or do anything stupid.

I didn’t particularly want to go home, and I didn’t particularly want to go out, and so I took to brooding alone in my office. I was attempting to review missives to distract myself and shake off the bitter mood, but it wasn’t really working. Probably because these investigations continued to frustrate the shit out of me.

I knew I should have stuck around after the Pyrhhan Guard showed up last night. I should have stayed behind, should have tailed the man who was riling up the crowd with such vitriol. I knew something wasn’t right.

Jeremiah and Hans had returned to HQ about an hour ago, confirming the worst. Our best fucking lead on this case had simply vanished, gone without a trace. And of fucking course, none of the Pyrhhans would talk. Even folks we knew had attended that meeting pretended they didn’t recognize the name. Like they had no idea who we were asking about.

I should have trusted my instincts. I fucked up. Again.

I must’ve been radiating some particularly toxic energy, because even Jeremiah—who was just as frustrated with things as I was—seemed to hesitate after coming around to knock at my door.

“Yeah?”

“Oh. Apologies, Captain. Is this not a good time?”

I sighed.

“You’re fine, Jer. What’s up?”

“Can I ask you something sort of… personal?” my lieutenant inquired, scratching awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Not related to the case.”

“Why do I get the distinct feeling that you’re going to ask me anyway?”

“Because you know me well?” Jeremiah laughed.

“Go on, then,” I muttered, rolling my eyes as I stacked the papers in front of me in a neat pile for later.

“Look, please don’t kill me for this, but I have to ask. When you first started bringing Arken along for things, keeping her around… Hans and I just figured it was strategic. Because she’s the Light Conduit and all. We assumed that you wanted to keep tabs on her. Like the commander asked.”

I said nothing, but motioned for him to continue with a slight gesture of my hand.

“I mean, it made sense. Befriending her would probably be the easiest way one could keep a close eye on a freshling.”

“It certainly is a strategy one could take, yes,” I mused, noncommittal.

“But… that’s not the only reason you’re doing it, is it? Not anymore, at least?”

It was never the reason, but I neither confirmed nor denied that particular inference. After a brief pause, studying Jeremiah’s curious expression, I spoke again.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes,” he replied, almost immediately.

“And why is that?” I asked, keeping my tone even and non-accusatory, even though Jer was approaching dangerous ground.

“Because we protect our own, Captain.”

I raised a brow.

“You’re sworn to protect every citizen in Sophrosyne, Lieutenant. You took an oath,” I reminded him coolly.

“Yes, sir. But if the girl matters to you, that’s different.”

Again, I paused, deliberating on how difficult I wanted to be about my answer. Part of me wanted to challenge the man, make him explain exactly what made Arken different from anyone else in the city. But the other part of me knew exactly what he was implying, and I was sort of touched that he cared.

“Kieran, you know we’d watch over her either way. But… I’ve never seen you invest in anyone. Not a damn soul outside of the Guard. Not like this. Not like her. And with the way shit’s been going lately, what with the threats and the kidnappings…”

I tilted my head, curious.

“Do you care about her, sir? Is she one of ours?”

I sighed, unable to deny what my lieutenant had clearly picked up on. The girl was important to me. More so than I had ever intended. More so than I really cared to admit.

“Yeah. I do. She is,” I confessed.

“That’s all I needed to know, Captain.”

I nodded once, pretending to be particularly interested in one of the stray missives I picked up, avoiding Jeremiah’s gaze.

“By the way,” Jer added. “Hans and I, and a couple of the boys are going to hit The Clover tonight. There are a few traveling entertainers in town, most of us are off tomorrow, and today’s been shit—seems like a damn good excuse to get plastered. You in?”

I opened my mouth to politely decline, and then closed it for a moment as I thought better of it. Wasn’t that where Arken would be tonight, too?

If anything, that should have been even more of a reason to politely decline. If I were a more respectful man, I would be giving Arken her own space to let loose after her entry exams without my brooding, over-protective ass watching her prospective suitors like a hawk.

Too bad I wasn’t a particularly respectful man.

“Eh. Sure, why not?” I said.

“Atta boy, Captain!” Jeremiah replied jovially. “C’mon then. We’re leaving soon.”