39. Chapter Thirty-Nine

My first entry exams were taking place in the Hall of the Seeing, the same building where I had presented myself before the Aetherborne all those months ago. How fitting that I would stand here yet again and have my measure taken, this time by the High Scholars of the Studium.

As Kieran had mentioned, Physical Arcana courses were typically reserved for upper level Conduits. The standard practice was to wait until you were in your third year of study here at the Arcane Studium, to have at least ten quarters under your belt before delving into defensive and combative spellwork.

I had… two quarters, stubborn determination, and a handful of letters of recommendation. Plus a few weeks’ worth of training under the watchful eye of Kieran Vistarii.

Close enough.

Was I biting off more than I could chew? Possibly. Was I going to try anyway? Absolutely.

Because the more that I learned, and the more that I practiced, the stronger my Resonances became. I could feel them all these days, each element constantly buzzing beneath the surface of my skin.

And so it had practically become a ritual. Every night when I returned home to my apartment, I pulled the curtains closed and immediately began to practice arcana. First, I would attempt to apply anything I had learned that day with Light to each element—though not every conjuring had a one-to-one application. Still, I took plenty of mental notes in class, constantly observing my peers and committing their gestures and incantations to memory so that I could practice behind closed doors. I did this every single night. And don’t get me wrong, I loved it—absolutely adored the feeling of being connected to all six elements again, even if it had to be in secret. But that wasn’t why I was doing it.

I did this because it was necessary.

Amaretta had not prepared me for the way that this aetheric energy would just build and build and build within me as my power grew. She apparently hadn’t thought to mention that my Resonance would begin to demand release. She never once explained that if I didn’t go through these motions every night before I went to bed, that I would be dancing on the edge of a blade come morning.

Maybe she didn’t know.

The few times that I had failed to find that release, I had been riddled with anxiety for hours on end as the aether buzzed and thrummed beneath my skin. I’d been terrified that I was one emotional outburst away from exposing my secrets.

When I’d told Kieran that I worried my Light Resonance was too closely tied to my emotional state, he said that this was normal, especially for newer Conduits. He reassured me that, as per usual, I was holding myself to some unrealistically high standards, and that nobody would judge me if I lit up like the shimmering lights of a Yule tree from time to time. Obviously, that wasn’t my exact concern here, but he didn’t know that.

With damn near anything else around Kieran, I was an open book. He probably rivaled Amaretta at this point for who knew me best. Over the course of our adventures, I had told him all about my life in the Brindlewoods, about Graysen, about the rest of the village, and why I’d named my mail sprite Bluebell. And while he wasn’t quite so open about his own past—particularly not his childhood—I’d still gotten to know present-day Kieran like the back of my hand.

Laurel often joked that the two of us were like long-lost twins. Not because of any visual similarities, but because whenever she saw us together, he and I had made an obnoxious habit of communicating without speaking out loud—or finishing one another’s sentences when we did speak.

Kieran was easily the closest friend I’d ever had, and I was endlessly grateful to have him in my life, but I would still keep this one thing to myself. I had promised Amaretta that I would take the secrets of my true Resonance to my grave. I would keep that promise, if only in the name of self-preservation.

“Arken Asher?”

One of the High Scholars called out with a beckoning wave.

“Present!”

I made my way over to the podium where they stood.

“I see that you are looking to test into the introductory course of Physical Arcana, is this correct?”

I nodded with enthusiasm. “Yes, ma’am.”

“This is only your second quarter with us,” she noted, peering down at me from behind her thin-wired glasses.

“Yes, ma’am—though I do have several letters of recommendation from the scholars leading my current courses,” I said, offering the woman several sheathes of parchment.

The High Scholar accepted them, reading through with pursed lips.

“It would appear you are quite advanced for your levels, Miss Asher. Tell me, have you considered reaching out to Lady Frey?”

“I have,” I lied smoothly.

This wasn’t the first time I had been pestered about this. Quite a few of my professors had made the same suggestion already, heavily encouraging me to reach out to the High Scholar of Light for mentorship to hone and elevate my skills, claiming that I was already displaying “incredible promise”, that I was performing “well beyond the expectations of a first year.”

While I had flushed at the praise, I wasn’t sure that sort of encouragement would be enough to get me to swallow my nerves and approach the illustrious Lady Frey, because truth be told?

That woman scared the shit out of me.

Theia Frey—High Scholar of Light here at the Arcane Studium, and the current leader of the House of Light amp; Shadow—was arguably one of the most powerful Conduits of our lifetime.

According to the bits and pieces of gossip I’d heard around the city, her power was rivaled only by the Lord de Laurent of the House of Embers. Apparently, the two had never been at odds and actually maintained a strong alliance through the years, so it was hard to make a determination on who would win out if they were to go head to head.

I wouldn’t really know, I hadn’t ever met either of them. I also wasn’t particularly motivated by the notion of doing great things.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to contribute to Sophrosyne or make Atlas a better place… I loved my home. Of course I wanted to contribute to our growth, to the best of my ability. Of course I wanted to hone my skills. But it wasn’t until that day I watched Kieran, Jeremiah, and Hans run through those training drills that I ever really found myself interested in the notion of power…

I had always craved skill. Expertise. Knowledge. But I’d never particularly coveted power… until I realized that it takes power to protect what you love.

“I don’t believe I’m quite ready, though,” I continued. “I wouldn’t want to waste her time, which is why I would like to try out a higher level course before reaching out for mentorship.”

The scholar nodded in clear approval.

“Excellent,” she said. “Most excellent. In that case, let us proceed with your exam.”

One of the things that made arcana such a complex science was that it required quite a few different skills to be honed and utilized at once. You needed to implement power, concentration, and finesse—all in perfect balance.

Over time, my clumsy renderings of glowing Light became more refined, but I was still breaking a sweat trying to follow the High Scholar’s instructions.

“There are many ways that arcana can be weaponized, should you ever need to protect yourself,” she had explained. “The most basic of which would be creating and using an aetherblade. That is what you’ll be starting off with in these courses—a basic blade and shield of Light. The first portion of the entry exam will be the formation of the blade.”

Step by step, she ran me through the process of summoning and shaping a tangible, aetheric weapon. The first summoning felt almost like a pottery lesson. Like I was building a dagger out of clay.

She had placed a basic, steel dagger in front of me as an example.

“As you draw upon the Light, Arken, I want you to mold the weapon in your hand. Form the pommel first, followed by the grip.”

I was able to follow her instructions with some concentrated effort, but the precision required was… intense.

“Yes, good,” she encouraged. “Make sure the cross-guard is well sized with your own hand. You don’t need to mirror the example quite so exactly.”

Okay, I understood the need for these entry exams now. This shit was hard.

My aether felt stretched thin as I focused on far more minute details than I had ever summoned before. I extended the fuller out a few inches, shaping the point before attempting to carve out a sharper edge on either side.

Why was a small blade so much harder than a fox?

I hadn’t realized that I murmured that last part out loud until the scholar answered.

“It’s because of the more corporeal nature of the blade, Miss Asher. You are summoning something that, once complete, will be able to pierce nearly anything with enough force. Also, the aether of a mail sprite will dissipate during travel and reform at the site of the aetheric signature you select. If you were to throw this blade, it would remain in existence until you consciously release the arcane energy back into the aether.”

“Interesting,” I murmured, wiping a small amount of sweat from my brow.

“Believe it or not, you’re doing quite well. The first summon is the hardest, and it will come much easier each subsequent time. Your aether will remember the shape you are trying to create, unless you choose to alter it.”

Well, that was encouraging at least.

“It also becomes much easier once you familiarize yourself with drawing from aetheric parallels on the fly. Though we would hope that you never find yourself in such a situation where you would need to summon a blade so quickly, that is one thing you will learn in future courses.”

As the woman finished speaking, I finished the dagger.

“Well done, Miss Asher. Very well done. Now, please take some time to study the details of the blade in your hand.”

I was impressed by the gleaming weapon. It looked as though it had been carved out of starlight. I ran a fingertip over the blade’s edge with my non-dominant hand and gasped when I found it sharp enough to cut. I was nearly incandescent, beaming with both pride and a newfound surge of energy. This arcana, though difficult to wield, made me feel powerful.

“Please go ahead and release the blade back into the aether,” the scholar instructed next. Begrudgingly, I allowed my hard work to fade back into the air around us, the Light winking out into nothing.

“Can you recall what it looked like? What it felt like in your hand?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

“Good. Summon it again.”

I took a deep breath, stilling my mind and attempting to clamp down on the vibrating, excited energy buzzing beneath the surface. This exam wasn’t over yet. I focused on the Air and the Shadow aether I could feel around me in the room, drawing upon it as I inhaled and opened my left palm.

I converted the Air and Shadow into Light as I exhaled, and the blade immediately reappeared, hilt warming slightly in my hand.

“Holy Hel,” I breathed.

Even the High Scholar seemed impressed.