33. Chapter Thirty-Three

A flicker of excitement shot through me as Kieran made his way onto the field.

Despite how often Kieran and I spent time together, it was rare for me to see his arcana on display. And from what I knew about Kieran’s area of expertise, Shadow work was inherently stealthy and hard to track, anyway. I supposed that was what made him such a perfect candidate for his position in the Elder Guard.

That, and the undeniable evidence of his skill, which was already on display.

Every time Hans struck, lunging forward with incredible speed, Kieran managed to sidestep him even faster. Impossibly fast. It took several minutes of watching this to even parse what was happening—Kieran was strafing into Shadow, somehow—his entire body becoming briefly incorporeal, allowing him to practically blink into a slightly different location.

Holy Hel.

Eventually, Jeremiah joined Hans, and it was two against one. Though it was difficult for me to tear my eyes away from Kieran and his Shadows, I was also enthralled by the way his two lieutenants moved in tandem, so flawlessly fluid as they circled their captain like falcons on the hunt. These supposedly new training drills looked more like a well-rehearsed performance. A perfectly choreographed dance between some of the most dangerous men in Sophrosyne.

It was violence and grit teeth and grunting and sweat—but there was also something captivating about it. Something beautiful.

My respect for the Elder Guard deepened as I continued to watch from a distance. With every strike and parry, these three were putting their dedication on clear display. These were men of honor, men who put the protection of our city above all else. You didn’t move like that, you didn’t train that hard without something to fight for.

A strange, gnawing sensation began to grow in my belly. It was envy, I realized. I envied these men for their fierce loyalty, their drive, and their strength of will. I envied their ability to protect what they loved so deeply. I envied their power. I was already developing both skill and prowess in wielding my own arcana, but I couldn’t do anything like this. I hadn’t ever considered the possibility of even needing to—a privilege of growing up in an era of peace.

How much had these men sacrificed in order to keep that peace?

I heard Hans bark out a laugh, boastful and raucous. After what must have been nearly twenty minutes, he managed to catch Kieran’s left hand with his bolas. I watched with fascination as the Shadow aether that had coated that hand like a glove faded out, disarming his dominant hand.

“Nice work Deering,” Kieran said to his second, though I could already see a wicked smirk forming. “But I’ll bet you all the Lyra in my coat pockets that you can’t do it again.”

“Challenge accepted,” Hans replied, eyes glittering.

Jeremiah took several paces back, pulling out his water skin and wiping sweat from his brow. “That’s all you,” he said with a grin, clearly wanting to make Hans work for his prize.

Despite my surge of irrational jealousy, I also found a small kernel of relief watching the boys fight. Kieran said that if Laurel became a target—if she was in any danger like Amir—that one of his men would be assigned to her as a personal guard. His cadre extended beyond just Hans and Jeremiah, but I was certain that anyone who trained under these three could keep my friend safe.

It was then that I realized I wanted that capability, too. What if one day, Kieran wasn’t around? What if Laurel was at risk, and all I could do was flash a few shiny orbs of Light in an attacker’s face? I could hardly stomach such a weakness.

I wanted to be stronger.

Once the three of them wrapped up for the afternoon, Kieran and I had the rest of the day to ourselves. As we meandered through the Market District, looking for lunch, I decided to ask him about what continued to tug at the back of my mind.

“Hey Kier?”

“Yeah?”

“How do people even learn all of that?” I asked, pausing for a moment by a baker’s stall to peer over their selection of bread.

“Learn what, exactly, Little Conduit?”

“That sort of arcana. Combative. Defensive. All of it. It looked so complex.”

Kieran chuckled, drawing a few coins from his own pocket to purchase a pastry.

“That’s because it is very complex. It’s called ‘Physical Arcana,’ freshling, and there are courses on it. Though, they’re usually only available for third year students and above. Unless you join the Guard, of course, in which case we train you ourselves. Why?”

“I wonder if I could test into them early. Entry exams are coming up, after all…” I trailed off, touching my chin.

“Into a third year course?” Kieran asked, one eyebrow raised. “I mean shit, if anyone could pull something like that off, it would be you, Ark—but why? What’s the rush?”

I glanced away for a moment, flushing slightly before Kieran nudged me, handing me half of his croissant.

“I just… don’t like the idea of being so defenseless,” I muttered.

“You’re not defenseless, freshling. You’re surrounded by some of the most intimidating motherfuckers in the city,” Kieran laughed. “I would argue you’re one of the safest people in Sophrosyne by association.”

I sighed.

“And while I appreciate that,” I said pointedly, “That’s hardly an excuse to be complacent. We’re not always together, you know.”

Whether I liked it or not, Kieran would always have much higher priorities.

“Hey,” Kieran said softly. “Is this about Amir, Arken? Because I promise you, you’re safe here. Yvestra isn’t nearly as warded as we are.”

“It’s not about Amir, exactly,” I said slowly, trying to calibrate my thoughts. “It’s more like… What the Hel could I even do if Laurel got attacked one day, and we were alone? I’m not a fighter, and neither is she. All we could do is run.”

Kieran nodded thoughtfully, chewing on a bite of his food.

“Sometimes, the best thing to do in those situations is to run, Arken. There’s no shame in that. In such a hypothetical, highly unlikely situation, you should run. Run, and find me.”

“And if you’re not around?” I asked quietly.

Kier seemed to deliberate on this for a moment before nodding again. “Fair point, and well-made as ever. But if you want to test into Physical Arcana, I’ve gotta warn you: It’s a two part test for Conduits. You’ll have to prove arcane aptitude, which you’ve got in the bag already. But you’ll also have to test for physical strength and endurance. Arcane combat is incredibly taxing on the body. They won’t let you start until you pass both exams.”

Ugh. Now that was an obvious obstacle—I had never been particularly athletic. Sure, I had the stamina to walk through the forests for hours on end, but I doubt that’s what he meant by endurance. It certainly wasn’t strength.

“You’re going to try to test in anyway, aren’t you?” Kieran asked with a smirk.

“You know me so well,” I crooned, punctuating the remark with an elbow to his side. He pretended to stumble, lightly bumping into one of the merchant’s stalls.

“I know that you’re stubborn as Hel, which is all I really needed to know,” he replied. “But if you’re truly dead set on this, I can help, you know. I can put together a light training regimen for you, help whip you into shape. Results not guaranteed by the end of this quarter, but we can try.”

I grinned.

“Deal.”