CHAPTER 26

Adara

The ship’s wake-up called screeched me into consciousness. I groaned, comfortable under the covers pressed against a warm body. Another groan clued me into to a third person in the room, except they weren’t in the bed.

Blearily blinking my sleep-crusted eyes towards the sound, I found Xander stretching himself awake in the armchair.

'Hey,’ I croaked,

‘Hmm? Oh, morning my love,’ he said, shooting me a sweet smile that was reserved only for me. I wondered if I’d ever be able to convince him to give it to another person. My gaze dropped to the body beside me, her chest rising and falling gently, and I knew in that moment that I wanted it to be her. I wanted to know everything there was to know about the mysterious woman, and I wanted him to share that with me. I wanted him to know all her secrets right alongside me, to see her the way I did.

I knew he struggled with it. That he saw her as Arty, the boy and not Artemis, the strong, incredibly brave woman she truly was. I wanted nothing more than to expose her secrets to him, lay her bare in front of him and force not only him to see her, but for her to be open and vulnerable with him.

One day, I vowed.

‘You leaving me for another man, my love?’ he teased when I continued to gaze fondly down at the woman in my bed. Was that a dark note I detected in his voice? I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t a sexual being, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate someone’s physical beauty alongside their inner beauty. Was he… jealous?

'I would never leave you, Xan. But I don’t think I could ever leave Arty, either,’ I admitted .

He cleared his throat, the sound terse and strained. ‘Yeah, I’m beginning to see that.’

I sent him what I hoped was an expression that conveyed everything I was feeling. I may not have been allowed to tell him what I knew, what was going on in my head, but that didn’t mean I had to hide everything from him. Not where it came to me.

‘You’ll see what I see soon,’ I told him, the secrets within that statement eager to be released, but they went right over his head. I could tell when he gave me a sceptical look but placated me with a vague agreement regardless of his true thoughts and feelings.

I gently extricated myself from around Artemis so I could take Xander out of the room for a quick chat. He followed without being told, and soon we were standing in the kitchen, completely alone.

‘Are you okay? Both of you,’ he asked, his concern genuine for more than just me and that gave me a warm sense of hope.

'Yeah,’ I said. ‘I’m fine. Arty’s going to be okay, but he has… some things to work through. And I’m going to help him,’ I said, my tone negating any debate.

‘What kind of things?’

‘The kind of things that need privacy and patience. And understanding, when the time comes,’ I said, and even though I knew I was being cryptic I had to try to reiterate that need with him before it was too late. It was always better to start damage control before any damage was caused, right? Better to cover all my bases just in case.

‘Do I need to be worried?’ he asked.

'What you need is to trust me. Trust that I know what I’m doing and that Arty’s worth it all. Can you do that?’

I could tell he wanted to argue. It was right there on the tip of his tongue and in the way his body expressed the emotions that he was trying to hide. But he was a good man. Loyal. He would give me what I asked for, and he would try to see things from my perspective. Or at least as much as he could, given the circumstances.

‘Well, if you need me for anything, anything at all, please let me know. I know you want to help him, and I know I don’t have the full picture, but if you – or he – are ever in danger, you come to me.’ It was a demand more than a request, but a fair one.

‘Of course. I promise if I need you I’ll tell you.’

He relaxed almost fully at the ease with which I agreed with him. He was a simple man underneath all that fancy uniform and bulging muscle. He may have looked the part of a scary captain to be obeyed at all costs or else, but I would never know him as anything but the big old softie he tried to pretend he wasn’t. I knew his protective instincts were riding him hard…

So maybe I should find someone to ride him hard.

I dismissed the thought as soon as it arrived. The only person that came to mind was Artemis, but that wasn’t going to happen. At least not yet. But now that the thought had made itself known, it didn’t want to leave. Could Artemis be the missing link between me and Xan? Could she provide him with what I couldn’t?

It was definitely something to think about, but now wasn’t the time.

Artemis appeared in the doorway at that moment looking more ruffled than I had ever seen her. She always presented herself as a clean, put-together individual, and I had a feeling that extended further than her boy-cadet disguise. And she really did look like a little boy dressed up like that.

Huh. Was that why Xander thought my friendship with him was so weird? We did appear to have a significant age gap, but I knew she was older than she looked, especially as Arty. I wondered how old she actually was. I would need to find that out before the question irritated me to no end. I hated not having answers and my patience for waiting for them was already wearing thin.

‘Good morning, Mercer,’ Xander surprised me by greeting him first. ‘I hope some rest has brought you back to us? ’

Artemis took in the two of us with an uncharacteristic timidity. ‘Um… Yes, sir. I feel much better, thank you.’

Those last two words held a whole universe of meaning behind them that referred to a lot more than letting her sleep in his spare bed, and she aimed it at more than Xan.

I bounced my way over to her, wrapping her up in the biggest hug I could manage with my shorter arms. Luckily, she was skinny enough for me to reach around her properly, unlike Xander’s extortionately broad frame. Hugging him was nice and all, but it was more of him embracing me than the other way around. He was just way too big.

Stars help whoever he does end up fucking, because I knew for a fact that his enormity didn’t stop at his height and muscle mass.

I really hoped Artemis could take him. In my head, there was no one else now that I had decided. I would help Arty free her friend, and then when everything was out in the open I would ensure my two favourite people fell in love.

Yup. It was a done a deal.

‘Right, well it’s time to get ready. I’ve called for breakfast to be delivered in the other suit. You good to eat with the others today?’ Xander asked him, and fuck I loved the man. Look at him taking care of them.

‘You’re such a good boy,’ I told him, reaching up to pinch his cheek.

He swatted my hand away and scowled down at me, but I saw the way he flushed under the praise.

‘You’ll be uninvited if you keep that shit up,’ he warned, but I just giggled and flounced away to get ready for the day.

‘See you over there!’ I called behind me before the bathroom door slid shut behind me.

???

The three of us stood outside the door to my old suit a small distance away from the door. I remained beside Artemis as she stared at it apprehensively, and Xander had parked himself further away, leaning against the opposite wall and giving us some space.

'You need to open the door, Arty,’ I said softly but firmly. ‘We have to eat.’

She drew in a long breath. ‘Yeah. I know. Sorry.’

Xander surprised me again when he took a turn to reassure her. ‘They’ll get over it, Mercer. They’re more worried about you than angry.’

I sent him a small smile filled with gratitude behind Arty’s back which he returned.

‘Right.’

‘It’s always worse in your head,’ I said.

‘The reality is never as bad as it seems,’ Xander said.

Arty exhaled slowly, and then placed his hand on the scanner to open the door.

Everyone was already gathered in the living room, and they went quiet as soon as the door slid open to reveal us standing there. With impressively confident strides, Arty entered the room. I knew she was bluffing, hiding her true emotions under that impenetrable mask of hers, but I was proud all the same.

Reece stepped forward to greet him, ignoring me and Xan entirely. ‘You hungry?’ he asked, and it was enough for everyone to go back to their food and conversation without any bluster.

The expression Arty gave Reece had me rethinking the possibility of her and Xander, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I knew Reece was closer to Arty than the rest, except maybe for Bromm, but I hadn’t considered that she might have feelings for him beyond friendship. Did she even know she was gazing at him like he hung the stars?

Bromm must have felt a similar way because he positioned himself in front of Reece and blocked the shorter man from Arty’s view. He was another I would have to worry about if my plan to push Arty and Xander together was going to work.

‘Come on. You didn’t show for mealtimes yesterday so you must be starving. Let’s get some food in you,’ he said, ushering Arty towards the breakfast spread without actually touching him. I couldn’t begrudge him too much. Arty’s feelings for Bromm were complicated and growing, that was clear to see. She cared deeply about most – if not everyone – in this room, and I was pleased to note that they all shared the same level of respect for Arty and his needs.

Cadmus and Henrik scooted over to allow him some space to sit. Everyone minded their own business, even when they sent surreptitious glances towards my friend. It was clear they were just checking in and making sure she was okay. It went a long way to assuage any worries she had, as evidenced by the way her entire body melted into her seat.

Conversation was light and easy. The good vibes of the group were restored without any ill will towards Arty. In fact, they were showing a cohesiveness that was rarely seen in first year cadets, especially those from wealthier background like the majority of Nova Academy’s population.

Cadmus in particular was a perfect example. When I’d first met him he gave off the impression that he was better than everyone else, that working for someone was beneath him and Henrik had become his new lapdog. Except, that wasn’t the case. While Henrik did complete delegated tasks at Cadmus’ behest, it was entirely his decision. No one was forcing him to be someone else’s lackey, and though it looked like it from an outsider’s perspective, they were growing rather close as friends. Even now, Cadmus rose from his seat when he noticed Henrik glance longingly at the plate of bacon, putting a whole hoard of it onto his own plate and then silently offering it to his friend by raising the plate between them .

It was sweet, and I could see then that this group was doing wonderful things for more than just them. It was providing friendship, loyalties were being forged, a support system erected. These people were going to be closer than family, and I could already see the foundations slotting into place.

I sat on Xander’s lap today since Artemis needed to find her footing within the group dynamic again. I did a little happy dance at just how well things were going, ignoring the way he stiffened and poked at me from below. It was something that had occurred far too often when we found ourselves in this position, but I tried to let go of the guilt that I didn’t want to help him with the problem. It had almost ruined our friendship at the beginning when he struggled to comprehend that I just didn’t like sex. I was a Griknot female after all, and our entire culture was based around sex and pleasure, but our friendship persisted through the confusion to build a solid foundation for something more.

Asexual did not mean aromantic. I loved love as much as any other woman, I just didn’t have the urge to be physical with anyone other than hugs and cuddles, and maybe the occasional kiss.

But that was irrelevant to the current moment. I was admittedly a little concerned that some of the guys would view Artemis in a different light, or find it more difficult to forgive her behaviour, but they all seemed to understand that her past was riddled with trauma and it was being released aggressively.

She wasn’t being intentionally violent or cruel. She just needed to be left alone to sort through things in her head. She carried so much weight on her shoulders it was a miracle she was even still standing. I wanted to help her lighten that load, to give her a reprieve whenever possible. After all I’d learned last night, she was going to need all the help she could get.

But what that assistance would or could consist of was another thing entirely.

‘Stop wriggling, you monster,’ Xander whispered in my ear, his breath hot and damp on my neck.

I hated that feeling, and he knew it. I stopped moving immediately just to stop him from using that revolting sensation against me again.

‘Good girl.’

I scoffed. ‘Shut up. I’m not your good girl. You’ll have to look elsewhere for that kinky shit, asshole.’

He chuckled, his chest vibrating against my back. He thought I was kidding each time I brought it up, but I wasn’t. I wanted him to have those experiences, to allow his body to perform and find release the way it desired, to experience the pleasure he clearly needed that I simply did not. It was a work in progress, but with Artemis now in the picture, I was sure things would work out perfectly.