CHAPTER 11

Artemis

I rounded up Bromm and Foryk when CWO Brin came to us. She informed us that Reece was wrongfully accused and was being released. We weren’t sure where he had been taken, so we waited by the elevator to greet him when he came down. I wanted to prove to him that we had his back, that we were proud to have him on our team, and we were prepared to shield him from the other cadets’ and officers’ reactions.

Word had spread that a woman was in the med bay and that Reece was the one responsible. I wasn’t sure how when the captain had assured me himself that he was trying to keep things quiet to avoid any reactions from his crew and the cadets. But people were peering through cracks in the doors or blatantly standing outside to get a look at the so-called ‘rapist’.

But I was pleasantly surprised when Reece finally arrived. He held his head high when he exited the small compartment while the cadets in the corridors eyed him with curiosity, contempt, or both. Many were sneering in derision while others blurted out insults and threats, but he ignored them all.

‘Come on, let’s get you back to the room,’ I told him, using my body to block people’s view as we made the trek down the long corridor. A crowd was forming behind us but we paid it no heed. Bromm and Foryk followed my lead and also surrounded him to keep him safe.

I couldn’t begin to comprehend that he was almost convicted of… I could barely even think it let alone say it aloud, so I simply didn’t try. Instead, I thought about that poor woman currently laying in that med bay bed, her body broken and mental state torn to shreds. When the captain had informed me what he was ar resting Reece for, I already knew it wasn’t him. Reece had been by my side almost every moment of every day, and I would have noticed him sneaking out to attack a woman. A woman I doubted he had even heard of until today. Not to mention there was no way I believed him capable of such an act.

I had seen first-hand many times the aftermath the victims of rape, brutal or otherwise, faced. In fact, most of the time it was dressed up in a false sense of love or duty, which made the impact of the assault more prominent in the mind. It made the victims question whether they wanted it or not. If they were wrong because they didn’t enjoy it, or for saying no in the first place. If it was their fault for allowing it. Reece simply was not the sort of man to do that to another person.

I might have only just met him, but I had met evil many times before, and he wasn’t it.

If there was some way to help, I would in a heartbeat. But, truth be told, there wasn’t much anyone could do. She needed the support of her loved ones, not a stranger that was associated with her accused offender, innocent or otherwise.

I tried to put myself in her shoes for a moment to figure out what I could possibly need if it were me lying in the med bay, but I only succeeded in bringing up old wounds of loneliness and helplessness. I didn’t want to dig too deep into my own growing desire for a support system of loved ones, as it was a luxury I had never been afforded and wouldn’t be able to hold on to now. Even if I did consider Reece a potential friend, I would be leaving him behind soon enough.

What I really wanted to do was find a dark, secluded corner, curl up into a ball and sob my heart out. For the woman whose life was almost destroyed, who would most certainly never be the same again. For all the others that had fallen victim to the same crime. For Reece, for the fact that someone had actually believed he would do something so inhumane and abominable .

But I couldn’t do that. My team just saw one of our own carted off like a criminal. They would want to know why, what happened, and how he had been released. I did not have the luxury of breaking down. I didn’t even have the good fortune to have a safe place to break down, nor did not have a safe person to break down in front of.

But this wasn’t about me.

I released a shaky breath, inhaling deeply and repeatedly to calm my heartrate and soothe my aching emotions. If I let them in then I wouldn’t have the courage to be the pillar these males, especially Reece, would need me to be.

Stars damn the captain for promoting me. I wanted someone else to take on these responsibilities.

Brin had waited for us in our room, and I wondered why she was even here. Regardless, the support she was offering for my whole team was greatly appreciated. I made a mental note to pull her aside to thank her later.

‘Reece!’ Brin shouted excitedly when she saw him, rushing forward to give him a hug. He accepted it, albeit reluctantly. I wasn’t sure he was in the right state of mind to be touched right then. If I had been falsely accused of such a heinous crime, my sense of peace and safety would have felt violated so I could somewhat understand.

Bromm’s bunk strained under the weight of both him and Foryk who was rubbing circles on the Griknot’s back as they kept an eye on Reece. The spikes lining Foryk’s arms snagged on the fabric of the blanket now and then despite how he’d pulled them flat against his skin, and the noise was starting to grate on my nerves. It pinged loudly in my ears and created a sensory overload. I had overexerted myself emotionally today, and now my nervous system was telling me hunker down away in darkness and solitude.

Unfortunately that wasn’t an option. As this team’s leader, whether I wanted the job or not, it was now my duty to take their emotional load onto myself. It’s what Libby and I had to do in The Program when one of us would return from another round of testing. Libby especially would come back practically catatonic at times, so I had to take charge while she shut down.

Even though Reece was back safe and sound, his innocence confirmed, the ordeal had clearly taken its toll on all of us. Foryk was tense, ready to protect against an unseen foe. Bromm’s faith in the military was shaken, not only because of the way the situation was handled so poorly but because of the situation itself.

Griknot culture leaned heavily on sensuality and pleasure, but there were strict rules about consent. Something like this would have ended in a death sentence on Grik and would have had the entire planet in an uproar.

Reece tried to extricate himself from Brin’s death grip. His face pinching and turning an alarming shade of white which, considering his already pale complexion, made him look sickly. She clung to him harder and his face paled to an almost translucent shade, so I gently pried her off. One look at him and I could clearly see he couldn’t handle any more. If I were him and anyone attempted to comfort me I didn’t think I’d be able to hold the pieces together. My mask would shatter, and that degree of vulnerability around people I had only just met would simply never happen.

Thankfully, she let me, stepping back to give him some space.

‘Arty and Brin told us what happened,’ Foryk surprised me by speaking up first, but I was just grateful to have the choice taken from me. Had he noticed my discomfort with the position I’d been placed in? Yet wasn’t the mental load supposed to be mine to carry?

‘There’s evidence to prove your innocence. Not that we would have doubted you,’ Bromm piped in reassuringly.

‘I…’ Reece started to say, then stopped. ‘Right.’

‘Are you okay?’ asked Brin, finally noticing his ashen expression.

‘Yup,’ he said, but his head was shaking no. No one called him out on it though .

The room devolved into silence. I could feel their pity radiating off of them and permeating the room in an oppressive fog.

‘Is there anything we can do?’ Bromm asked. ‘Anything you need?’

‘I just need to wash today off me and get some sleep,’ he said.

He didn’t wait for our response. He was already in the bathroom, and the door snicked closed behind him to successfully block us out. The others began muttering to themselves, their tones brimming with concern. It was a nice thought, that they cared. But how could someone genuinely care when they didn’t know much about him yet? They saw someone in need of an emotional security net and leapt at the chance to be hold it up, but how long until they decided they didn’t want that weight?

If it were me that had been carted off, would they have reacted the same way? What did they see in me? A young, innocent, sheltered boy with no social skills and a penchant for keeping to myself? They didn’t know my goals, my hopes and dreams and deepest desires. They didn’t know my past.

And they never would, I would make sure of it. But this wasn’t about me, I reminded myself again. I wasn’t in self-imposed solitary confinement anymore, and there were other people to think about. Reece was the important one right now.

I heard the whir of the shower being turned on and I could imagine from here what was happening. He must fee a relief to be alone, locked away in a quiet room away from prying eyes. I heard the shower cycle three times and imagined each blast of wind blowing away the bubbles that had absorbed the stresses of the day, each blast of soap dissolving the dirty feelings that came with being accused of raping and assaulting a woman.

When Reece finally emerged, he was dressed and I was pleased to see he was feeling much more like himself, his usual easy-going nature back to the forefront. I recognised it for what it was: a mask. I wore so many in my life, even now, that like called to like. I could see right through it and down to the man beneath. He could try to hide from me, but it wouldn’t work.

Brin bid us a goodnight as she left, noting her presence was no longer necessary. The lights were dim, and the guys were already tucked up in their beds. I followed suit while I waited, enjoying the comfort of the mattress and the blankets even though they were firm and scratchy. It was better than sleeping on a stone-cold cement floor, or a frigid metal table, or the rotting wood of old floorboards like I had so many times in the past.

Small blessings.

Reece breathed a sigh of relief when he came back into the room and realised the lights were out and everyone had gone to bed. I laid still as I listened to the rustle of fabric as he changed into his sleepwear, but his movements were jerky and strained and I couldn’t pretend I was asleep anymore.

‘We’ve got your back,’ was all I said as he crawled into his own bed. It wasn’t much, but it was all I could offer him. Even when I left I believed him in good hands with Bromm and Foryk.

He didn’t respond in words, but the sad smile he didn’t think I could see in the darkness was enough of a comfort to let it go for now. I was on the cusp of falling asleep when a soft voice drifted to me from across the room.

‘Thank you.’

I could hear the tears in the way his voice shook, and my enhanced hearing picked up the way they tracked down his cheeks and dripped onto his pillow with an almost inaudible thunk . When a sob broke through he tried to choke the sound back down, my whole body shook with an urgent desire to wrap him and my arms and hold his pieces together physically while his emotional state crumbled away. Much like I had with Libby.

I didn’t, though. I couldn’t.

‘Goodnight, Reece,’ I whispered, and for the second time in my life I felt the need to protect someone other than myself.

?? ?

I was up and ready for the day before the rest of my team, just like any other day, but then a message came through in an alert on the holo-tab and changed the trajectory of my time here on The Carina. It was a major obstacle in the way of my mission. My entire team was ordered to stay in our room until further notice. Someone would be by to bring us our meals, but until the investigation made headway and they had a suspect in sight, we were to stay away from the general population for the time being. The witnesses that lied about Reece’s involvement had already spread their version of events, and Reece (alongside our whole team) were possible targets for those who wished to avenge the victim.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. I wanted to get back into a routine, to have the freedom to move about where I wished during my free time and to spend my days keeping busy with work, and most importantly there was my growing need to further my own investigation. I had come so far already and was jumping at the bit to keep going. But I also would never wish to put my team in harm’s way.

As time slowly ticked on and the realisation that I was stuck here made the walls feel like they were closing in on me. I missed Brin’s hellish storage room already.

When the buzzer sounded and the others rose for the day, I told them to go back to bed. Bromm was happy for some extra sleep, and Foryk barely woke up to listen before he was snoring like he’d never roused to begin with. The only one who didn’t go back to sleep was Reece. Instead, dressed in silver silk pyjamas, he settled himself on the edge of my mattress, just below when my feet lay, one propped on top of the other.

‘How are you this morning?’ I asked when he didn’t open the conversation .

He gave me a tight-lipped smile. ‘Fine.’

It wasn’t funny, but I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. ‘When someone says they’re fine, they usually mean the opposite,’ I joked.

‘Isn’t that generally a female habit?’ he asked, and my entire body tensed.

He didn’t know. Surely, he hadn’t figured it out.

‘What?’ he asked, taking note of my reaction. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘What do you mean?’ I choked out through my tight throat, but somehow managed to make my voice strong and steady.

‘About what?’

I relaxed. ‘Nothing, nothing.’

‘You sure?’

I nodded.

He hesitated a beat, eyeing me up in a way that suggested I was being weird. I knew I was, but I couldn’t control the panic when it rose. When he spoke again I knew I wasn’t off the hook. ‘I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but you can trust me. If you want to talk, about anything, my ear is available.’

My inhale was sharp; shocked. ‘I… uh… thank you,’ I stuttered. ‘But isn’t that what I’m supposed to be saying to you?’

His grin was bittersweet, and he changed the subject. ‘You could get some more sleep too, you know,’ he suggested, jerking his head towards our two snoring roommates. ‘I know you’ve been staying up longer than the rest of us and waking up long before us too. I can stay awake while we wait for food. Or freedom. Whichever comes first,’ he joked, and a quiet huff of laughter escaped me.

‘I appreciate the offer, but I don’t need any more sleep.’

‘Well, then you’re a super-Terran, because even in my half-breed state I need a shit tonne more sleep than that,’ he laughed, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb Bromm and Foryk.

‘Well, if you’re not going to sleep and I’m not going to sleep, why don’t we figure out a way to entertain ourselves?’ I asked.

When he blushed, a deep red shade that was at odds with his silvery features, I knew I had just made a social blunder. I had no clue which part of what I said was wrong.

‘Arty, I’m glad you’re finally acknowledging your sexuality, but I’m not into men. I mean, if I were then I would totally be into you because you’re attractive and all, from an objective standpoint, but I don’t think I could get over the extra appendage...’

My mind blanked, confused, until I realised what he was saying. And then I was laughing way too loud to be considerate of the sleeping beauties. ‘ No , I meant like we could play a game or something,’ I corrected him.

I didn’t know it was possible, but the colour under his skin burst into an even deeper crimson. I could see it travelling down the visible skin beneath his shirt collar, and the tips of his pointed ears twitched as they changed from pink to red.

‘Oh, um, right.’

Once the giggles started, I couldn’t seem to stop them. ‘N-No, it’s f-fine. I-I’m f-flattered, I think?’

He visibly calmed, the red fading into a lighter pink as he finally let the humour of the situation win and laughed along with me.

‘What, so you don’t think I’m attractive?’ he joked.

‘You’re attractive enough just fine,’ I assured him with a pat on shoulder that may or may not have been a tad patronising. I didn’t want to tell him just how attractive I actually thought he was, because it might have scared him off. Just because I couldn’t act on it for a multitude of reasons didn’t mean I hadn’t noticed his rippling muscles and that toned ass. A virgin I may be but that did not mean I was blind. Plus, I wasn’t here for romantic entanglements, so what did it matter if I liked to look at him?

He scoffed. ‘Tell me something I don’t know.’

That set me off again, which got us both yelled at by Bromm as he struggled to sleep through our racket. Foryk, though, still vibrated the entire ship with his monstrous snores. How Bromm could sleep through that but not our laughter I didn’t think I’d ever understand.

It turned into a moot point, however, when a knock sounded at the door. It swished opened without our permission, and of course it was Brin that strutted in as if she owned the place. Though she was pushing a cart with our food on it, so I couldn’t be too mad. I would never say no to food.

‘Good morning, sunshines,’ she gave me a bright grin. ‘And sunshine-ettes,’ she addressed the other two, wrinkling her nose at Foryk’s unconscious snort.

The mood was strangely uplifting this morning, so I sent a toothy grin her way. She covered her eyes with her hands and staggered back dramatically. ‘Stop! You’ll blind me!’

Reece snickered at her display, and the grin on my face remained as if permanently etched on. I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled or laughed this much. Actually, I didn’t think I ever had.

I liked it.

Brin removed the lids on our plates to reveal the most incredible breakfast spread I had ever seen, especially on a ship this size. There was toast and eggs, bacon and sausages from varying animals, fried cakes with a variety of fruits, syrups and creams. Not to mention the stack of honey cakes and muffins and other sweet treats. There was a something for everyone.

And the citrus juice .

I was salivating. Drool was definitely dripping down my chin.

‘What’s all this?’ asked Reece from his perch beside me.

‘This,’ Brin gestured to the food with a flourish, ‘is a gift from our good captain. Said he wanted to spoil you as an apology for yesterday, so I said I would deliver it for full credit,’ she beamed.

I laughed a full belly laugh at that, shocking not only myself but everyone else in the room, especially Foryk who finally jolted awake and almost fell off his bunk. I think that might have been the very first time I had laughed so uproariously before, but I wasn’t about to tell them that for fear of bringing down the mood.

‘Well, tell the captain we thanked you , Brin,’ I teased.

‘Addy,’ she said.

‘Hmm?’

‘My given name is Adara. We’re friends now, so you can call me Addy,’ she said, and my laughter died down, suddenly unable to move past the tightness in my throat.

Objectively, I knew that making friends wasn’t part of the plan, and that it could cause more issues than I could anticipate. Yet, the desperation that punched me in the gut when my gaze darted between her and Reece. Even Bromm and Foryk didn’t allow for any other response than to accept. Both of them had showed me in such a short amount of time that it could be worth opening up a little to allow for a friendship.

Perhaps it couldn’t go too deep, and it would end sooner rather than later, but I wanted to be selfish, just this once. I wanted to let myself enjoy the moment and feel wanted, accepted, and welcomed.

Stars damn it, I wanted friends.

So I braced myself for the inevitable heartbreak and focused on the present.

‘Okay. Addy.’