CHAPTER 10

Alexander

T he pale boy followed behind me, hanging his head like he was walking to his death. After the complaint I had received against him, he was right to cower in shame. I had never in my life been more disgusted by the actions of another man, let alone a damn cadet. Sure, they tended to be obnoxiously arrogant when they started their journey at Nova Academy, but none had behaved in such as manner as Cadet Lance Corporal Reece Hastings. A title I would strip him of soon enough when I booted him out of the military entirely.

I didn’t want the rest of the ship discovering what had happened just yet and all the holding rooms had been converted to accommodate the cadets. Only one option remained, and I led him to the floor of my personal quarters. There were other rooms on the captain’s deck, though they were for the highest ranked officers on board my ship. There were four rooms total, ensuring we had enough space to live comfortably, though they were still only large enough for one person per suite. Mine was the largest, with a full bathroom, kitchen, dining, and living area. Enough space and privacy to personally entertain my more important guests, not that I had very many of those. Two more were occupied by the other highest-ranking members of my crew: the engineering and maintenance CWO, who was, of course Addy, and my first lieutenant, Jorna Kalsur. The latter had recently started dating a good friend of mine, Markus, the ship’s head chef, which was why it didn’t seem odd when I found him loitering in this particular corridor.

He nodded at me and I returned the gesture, but the way my fury radiated was clearly all the indication he needed to keep his distance. He shot me a look filled with concern as he watched me practically drag the boy behind me, but he didn’t try to stop me or ask questions. Instead, he went back inside Jorna’s suite, the door snicking as it closed behind him.

No doubt I’d hear about this later when he demanded answers.

At the end of the corridor was an empty room that I typically used for high-profile guests. Today, though, I would be using it as a holding cell for the worst kind of criminal to exist. With two sisters, I had always been wary of the actions of men who thought they were entitled to take whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted it. Especially with youngest sister finding success in her quest for fame. Reece Hastings was my worst nightmare.

I locked the door behind me with the biometric scanner. It was programmed solely for my use since it was currently vacant, so he wouldn’t be able to escape. It was the perfect place to hide him away and to keep him from the other women on this ship.

Taking the cuffs from where I’d clipped them around his wrists, I secured his hands to the leg of the table that was bolted to the floor. There was no doubt in my mind that he would stay exactly where I left him.

His gaze probed me, confused and concerned. The fact that he thought he could pretend like he hadn’t just violated one of my female officers in the worst way imaginable made me physically ill. When my stomach clenched and my skin vibrated with unadulterated rage, it forced me to leave the room before I did something I couldn’t come back from.

Like murder the fucker with my bare hands.

Addy was already waiting for me in my living room when I entered, looking ready to tear my head off, but I held up a hand to ward her off and bolted for the bathroom. The toilet came in handy then as I expelled all the food I had consumed that day. A small hand rubbed soothing circles in my back until I was dry heaving, nothing more than spit dribbling from my lips and chin .

When the convulsions ended, I fell back onto my ass and rested my elbows on my knees. My head lolled backwards, smacking against the side of the bathtub. It made my already throbbing skull feel like it was about to split in two, but I ignored the pain. I deserved it. I had allowed one of my own to get violently raped by a fucking cadet of all people.

I was just as repulsed with myself as I was with the man I’d left restrained in the room down the hall.

‘Are you done?’ Addy asked, her voice soft, yet stern.

I nodded.

She smacked me so hard across the cheek that my head whipped to the side, banging into the bathtub again but at a different angle that the throbbing spread to accommodate.

My nostrils flared as I jumped to my feet, and though my stomach lurched, I forced the churning to stop, if only for the moment.

‘What the fuck, Adara?’ I yelled.

‘No, you what the fuck, Xander? Whatever you think Reece did, he didn’t do it.’

My breaths were heaving as I glowered down at my best friend, beyond angry that she would take the side of an abuser over me.

‘He fucking raped Katira, Addy. She was sent to the med bay last night, beaten and bloody with her pants torn to shreds and her body mutilated ,’ I spat, wanting to tear the universe apart to fix what had been done. But there was nothing I could do except catch the guy who did it.

‘What?’ she beathed after a beat, stunned speechless.

‘He beat her into submission, raped her, and cut her up with a knife from the kitchens. The same knife Markus reported stolen two nights ago. Then he stabbed her in the gut and left her for dead. Addy… he’s a monster.’

But she wasn’t listening. Instead, she was pulling her holo-tab from its pouch on her utility belt, and then a hologram of the ship hovered over the screen.

‘When did this happen?’ she asked.

‘Last night,’ I replied, annoyed at having to repeat myself.

‘No, Xan. When? What time?’

‘She was brought into the med bay around two turns past midnight. Her roommate, Ari, went looking for her when she didn’t come back to their room.’

She typed something into the controls and the images began to rewind. I physically recoiled when I figured out what she was doing.

‘Fuck, Addy, don’t. Why would you want to see that?’

That somehow earned me another slap, backhanded this time. ‘I don’t, but you’re blaming someone my new friend cares about. I know he didn’t do it, Xan. Reece is not like that, I’m sure of it.’

I rested my hand over her holo-tab, pushing it down so she was forced to look at me. I gentled my expression to avoid setting her off, because she wasn’t going to like what I had do say. ‘Addy, there were witnesses. They told me everything personally. He attacked her in the kitchens at the end of her shift, and the team of cadets under her command were still hanging around when they heard a commotion. The door was barricaded so they couldn’t get to her in time, but when they finally shoved it open Hastings pushed past them and ran away.’

But she was already shaking her head, refusing to listen. I knew she wouldn’t let this rest until she had physical evidence right in front of her, so I removed my hand and reluctantly let her look up the security footage. I had avoided it myself, too afraid to see that sort of crime in action against one of my own.

Except, what I saw didn’t match what I’d been told.

The door was open and the team of cadets that had pointed their fingers were waiting on the other side, cowering away from the scene before them. This lasted for close to an entire turn before the offending rapist walked out, the others backing away as if he were about to do the same to them. But whoever it was that walked out, though their face was covered by a towel he was in the process of tying over his face, was decidedly not Reece Hastings.

For one, the build was all wrong. Mister Hastings was short and stocky, a typical build for those with Yu’Rom genes. The rapist was much taller, with a leaner build that caused his clothes to hang off his frame. And though his hair was long enough to peep out from under the knotted towel, its colour was unable to be discerned from the blue glow of the hologram. Yet it was definitely darker and shorter than Hastings’ long, white braid.

Oh, fuck.

‘Did you even check this before you came storming into my workshop and accusing an innocent man, a man who happens to be on my friend’s team of mutilation, rape and attempted murder?’ Addy asked, her voice cracking with emotion and tinged with disgust. For the scene she had just watched or for my actions I didn’t know. Probably both.

Again… fuck .

‘I… No. No, I didn’t.’ My head hung low, shame drilling into me from every angle.

‘Release him. Now, Xan. And fucking grovel while you’re at it.’

I staggered back, feeling queasy again. I was numb. My legs didn’t want to hold my weight, and I slid down the wall as I crumpled in front of the toilet. I used its proximity to my advantage, the insistent heaving wracking my body in persistent waves.

Addy didn’t touch me this time. Her anger with me was righteous and justified.

‘You know you’re going to have to find the true culprit, right? And talk to those boys again. They need to face disciplinary action for lying. Reece never did anything to deserve this, and if it comes out that you considered him a suspect it won’t just ruin his reputation. It’ll destroy the standing of his whole team purely by association.’

My head bobbed up and down on autopilot. I could hear what she was saying and responded accordingly, but it felt like everything was far away. Muffled. The world had narrowed to a pinpoint, my only goal shallowly sucking in my next breath.

The small part in the back of my brain that was still conscious and functioning recognised when Addy left, leaving me hanging over the toilet like the sad fuck that I was.

Miserable.

Useless.

Pathetic.

Worthless .

All the comments I had received from my teachers and classmates at school came back to me then, whispering in my ear like an ex-lover, toxic and persistent.

But I wasn’t that same boy that struggled to read and retain the information my teachers had attempted to shove down my throat. Like that would mean I was smart or worthy of a respectable job, a good wife, a good life. No, I was a man who had achieved much in my short life. I had taken what skills I did have and implemented them in a career that helped people. I was valued by my crew. I had a best friend that stood by my side through everything and supported me when I struggled to hold my own head up high. And who wasn’t afraid to call me out on my shit and still love me anyway. I had a family waiting for me back home who was proud of me and all that I had accomplished. Of the man I had become.

I was not this weak man who couldn’t handle the hard shit, who refused to take accountability for his actions or who’d let a guilty man roam free while an innocent took the fall.

So I got up, brushed my teeth, slapped my clammy cheeks to bring me back down to reality, straightened my clothes and marched out the door.

Hastings was exactly where I left him, his body sagging against the cold hard floor, his wrists held above his head where I’d attached them to the table leg. He looked up when I walked in, but didn’t make a move to speak or plead or yank on the restraints. He simply looked sad and dejected.

Ready for an attack and prepared to take it without fighting back.

It didn’t make sense. He wasn’t involved in putting Katira in the infirmary, fighting for her life. Why was he behaving like he was guilty? Or maybe it wasn’t guilt but self-pity.

It didn’t matter. It wasn’t him, and I had no right to hold him. The cuffs slid to the floor with a scrape and a clang. Hastings gazed up at me from his position below, eyeing me and the key in my grip like I was about to change my mind and lock him back up again.

‘I owe you an apology, Cadet Lance Corporal Hastings. I received information that you engaged in a crime last night that ended with one of my female officers in the infirmary. After some more investigating, I was wrong to assume the information was correct without checking its validity. You are free to go.’

He stood then, but didn’t leave. A frown marred the delicate features of his face. ‘I don’t understand. What exactly was I accused of Captain?’

‘That is none of your concern, Cadet. You should go back to your room and I shall have someone deliver your evening meal to you there.’

When I scanned my hand and the door slid open he still refused to budge.

‘Sir, with all due respect, I have the right to know what I was being accused of, and who is responsible for the accusation,’ he argued.

My shoulders sank in defeat. ‘You’re partly right. I cannot inform you who created the accusation, in part because I do not yet have all the information, and also because it is against regulation to betray their anonymity. However, I will concede that you deserve to know the accusations. Truthfully, I should have read you your rights when I arrested you, but… forgive me, but I was not thinking clearly.’

I took a deep breath before I continued, knowing full well that my belief that he had performed such a heinous act would shatter any trust and respect he had built for me as his captain and superior officer. ‘One of my kitchen staff, a woman, though I shall not release her identity for her sake, was brutally raped, beaten, and mutilated after last night’s closing shift. Witnesses informed me that you were the perpetrator. Again, I must apologise for my lack of professionalism while dealing with this matter. You are innocent, and I should have fact-checked the information I was given before taking action against you.’

He was silent after my explanation. It was as if he completely shut down. No emotion showed on his face, his eyes like empty pools of cool blue ice, and his stance remained respectful of his station compared to mine. When he did eventually speak, it only proved how wrong I was for assuming he would do such a horrific thing.

‘Is she okay? The woman who was assaulted.’

‘I don’t know,’ was the only response I could give. An honest one.

‘Will she survive?’

‘That much I do know. Yes, her body will heal. It is her mental state I worry more for now,’ I admitted.

His chin dipped in acknowledgement of those facts. ‘Well, let me know if there is anything I can do to help,’ he said, and then walked out the door without a backward glance.

I deserved the brush-off.

And I learned in that moment how right Addy was. Reece Hastings was a good man. Better than most. Better than me.

And I would make it up to him.

Markus caught me again on my way back to my suite, holding an arm out to block me when I ignored him. Feeling more defeated that I could ever remember feeling, like that world was baring down on my shoulders and there was no way to dislodge it, I stopped.

‘What’s wrong, Xan? What happened?’ he asked, his concern for me bringing tears to my eyes that I refused to let fall. Markus was the kind of man that was raised to believe emotions were weakness, even when his compassion shone through the way it did now.

‘I fucked up, Markus. Everything’s so fucked.’

His arms snaked beneath my arms to hold me when my knees started shaking as if they might buckle.

‘All right, let’s get you inside and you can tell me all about it,’ he said, guiding me to my sofa and settling me in. He tucked a blanket around me, behaving more like a mother hen than I thought him capable of. Jorna must be having more of a positive effect on him than I’d realised. He left me there to head into the kitchen and when he came back, he held a plate full of easily digestible snacks and a steaming hot cup of tea. The first sip helped warm the chill that had settled into my very bones.

‘Okay, man. Start talking. Tell me everything and I’ll see how I can help.’

And so I did.