Chapter Nine | Noah

I was in the parking lot at the base of Mount Douglas at 1:45. I knew Brody liked to be punctual, judging by his appearance in the pub each night that I could set my watch to.

A black, Range Rover SUV's tires crunched over the gravel, coming toward me, and I could see Brody through the windshield. His eyes darted my way, but he didn't react to seeing me.

He must be concentrating on parking.

He leapt out of his vehicle, locked it, and approached me wearing what I suspected was a brand-new outfit designed specifically for hiking. I bit my bottom lip as a chuckle threatened.

God, he's adorable.

I was blessed with a shy smile as Brody wandered in close to me.

"Hi."

I smiled. "Hey. Are you ready for some beautiful scenery?"

"I didn't know what to wear. I went shopping this morning."

I winked at him. "And you look fantastic."

Brody cast a gaze past my shoulder and nodded. "Good."

"All right. Let's go."

I led the way to the trail head. The intensity of the incline wasn't conducive to conversation other than a few utterances of warnings or appreciation of what the ancient evergreen forest was offering us. Thin beams of light cut through the overhead boughs of cedar and fir and across the woodland floor of ferns and fallen logs. Just over an hour later, we were near the peak.

Brody scrambled up the last few steps behind me to the lookout and came to a stop, gripping the sleeve of my jacket. He scanned back and forth at what he was looking at.

"Why have I never come up here before?" he asked.

"You've really never been hiking?"

"Didn't know I'd like it." He yanked on my sleeve. "What am I looking at? Do you know?"

"Yup." I pointed to the left. "That there is the Saanich Peninsula, and you can just see Saltspring Island." I moved my hand. "Out there … the Olympic Mountains and the recognizable Mount Baker." I turned us further. "And then, of course, the city of Victoria."

"That's quite the 360-degree view."

"The best."

I closed my eyes, the view having nothing on what I was feeling as Brody leaned against me, his shoulder to mine, still gripping my sleeve, and tipped his head to touch mine.

"Thank you for bringing me up here."

"Every day if you want me to."

Brody's body shook—an actual laugh. He hadn't given me one of those yet. I felt like I'd been honoured with precious gems. I would cherish this day for a long time to come.

We stood and enjoyed the view, Brody humming softly beside me. It was a peaceful sound. One that meant Brody was content and happy. I wished I could bottle that sound.

Brody turned his face against my ear, his warm breath whispering across my skin.

"I really like you," he said.

My heart fluttered. "I really like you, too, Brody." He leaned harder against me and gripped my sleeve tighter; his nose nestled against my hair, breathing heavily .

My heart thundered, urging me on.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked.

Brody released my arm and nodded, nuzzling the side of my face. I didn't have to turn far to place his lips within reach. Brody tipped his head back and opened his lips for me. I took a chance and cupped his face. He didn't object, instead leaning into the palm of my hand, whimpering.

It was the most beautiful sound of desire I'd ever heard. I brushed his cheek with my thumb and had my first taste, my tongue slipping in between his open lips before our souls mingled. The anticipation of weeks should have made the kiss hard and fast, but it wasn't. I caressed his mouth with mine, only taking what he was ready to offer. Our lips performed a sweet gentle dance.

It was the most seductive kiss I'd ever had. Everything was different when I was with Brody. I realized I'd been operating in a world of grey until he came along. Now the entire colour palette had been released from its box and it was painting in every numbered spot in my heart.

Brody moaned and clutched my jacket in both hands near the collar. He pulled me to him until our bodies were pressed together. It only lasted a brief moment as other hikers could be heard coming up the trail to the lookout at the peak. Brody's pupils were blown wide as we stepped away.

He looked down at his feet and cleared his throat, but I could see he was smiling.

"Those hikers almost got a view and a show," I teased.

"It was perfect."

"You're right. It was. I hope we can do it again some time."

Brody tipped his head to look at me, the smile still subtle on his face. "I'd like that."

"Can I take you to dinner?"

"Tonight? "

"If you'd rather head back home, I respect that. I know it's your day away from people."

"No." Brody shook his head. "I'd like to go for dinner with you tonight."

"We'll keep it casual. Maybe sushi?"

Brody wrinkled his nose. "I don't like the taste or smell of raw fish."

"Okay, what about bao?"

"That's more my speed. There's a good place downtown."

"I know the one."

Once we were back down the trail, we took separate cars and met on Fisgard Street in the heart of the oldest Chinatown in Canada. The street was atmospheric. Light posts painted red with ornate Chinese decorations on them. Across the street, strings of red Chinese lanterns spanned Fan Tan Alley, the narrowest street in North America, its cobbled length filled with metaphysical, funky clothing, LP records, natural soap shops, and a Chinese Canadian Museum.

We were greeted by the smell of grilled and roasted meat and fresh bao buns as we opened the door to the restaurant. I ordered three Chinese BBQs and Brody had three of the Tonkatsu Chicken bao. Once they were freshly made, we carried our food over to a table and settled in.

After we finished out first bun, Brody got up and poured two glasses of water for us. He took a sip and then lifted his second bao bun. "Tell me more about the pub. Why did you buy it?"

"Um. I was a bartender all through university and for years afterward. When I thought about what I wanted to do for a long-term career, owning a pub was at the top of my list."

"Do you like running a pub?"

"I love it, and I know if I get everything just right, it'll take off. "

That was definitely a frown on Brody's face. "Is that achievable? Perfection?"

"I want the pub to be successful."

"We've had this conversation already."

Blunt and to the point. One of the things I liked about Brody. He'd given me good advice when we'd spoken about the measure of success while in the pub. It didn't need to be revisited.

"Your parents wanted you to be a lawyer," Brody said.

"The law firm has been in the family for four generations. It's our legacy." I rolled my eyes, making Brody smile. "I have no interest in joining the rest of my family." There was more truth to be told, though. "I want my parents to be proud of me … but on my terms."

"You don't think they're proud of you?"

"Pretty sure they're not. I don't fit into their mold very well."

Brody's gorgeous eyebrows furled. "What kind of mold?"

I held up my thumb. "A lawyer for one." Next up, my pointer finger. "Married." Third finger up. "Children they can brainwash into being lawyers for the firm."

"Do you want to be married someday?"

I'd only recently admitted it to myself. Brody and I were still getting to know each other, and I hadn't told anyone what my new life goals were other than Owen. Not even Liam.

Brody deserved an honest answer, though.

"If I find myself with the right guy."

Brody simply nodded and started eating again. I was starting to pick up that he redirected his attention when he wanted to think about something. There would be another question soon.

"What would the right guy look like?" he asked.

I saw that one coming. I had the answer. Sitting here with Brody, it had come to me without a second thought. The realization of the significant direction my mind was leading me terrified me. I let the words form naturally on my tongue. I was going to speak them from my heart.

"My special someone would be a guy who is caring, kind, and intelligent and brings light to my life without even trying. Someone I can sit in silence with and know we're still making a connection. Someone who will challenge me to think outside myself and enjoy the small things."

Brody smiled at me and chuckled. "We want the same guy."

I grinned. "I'll fight you for him."

"I'm bigger than you. I'd win."

"Mm." I moved my foot under the table to touch Brody's. "I'd let you pin me any day."

Brody studied my face and then looked down at his plate. And started eating again. I didn't take offence. I waited until we were both finished before speaking. "Are we all done here?"

Brody shook his head. "I want to tell you something."

I leaned forward against the table. "What is it?"

His head popped up; his gaze locked on mine. "I had a long-term boyfriend."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"It should."

I frowned. "Why?"

"Because I'm not easy to get along with."

"We get along just fine, don't we?"

Brody wrinkled his nose. "It's different with you."

How is it different with me? I needed to know more. Why did Brody have this negative view about himself? Had this self-deprecation been cultivated off words from his ex-boyfriend?

"Who told you that you were difficult to get along with?"

"Ricky. "

"Your ex-boyfriend?"

Brody nodded. "I wanted to warn you."

"Jeezus, Brody." I reached across the table and took his hand. The restaurant was empty. He didn't pull away. "Warn me about what? That you're an incredible guy I want to be with?"

"Ricky told me he loved me, but he didn't."

"That's on him. He's an idiot."

"He cheated on me the entire time we were together."

"Okay … an idiot and an asshole." I gripped Brody's hand tighter. I wasn't going anywhere. He needed to know that. His thumb and forefinger on his other hand started rubbing together.

Stimming.

He stared at his plate. He was stressed.

"Brody, I would never cheat on you. I haven't even been with anyone since the night we went for pie. I felt a connection between us. You're the only person I think about."

"I trusted him."

"And he broke your trust. Assholes will do that. I'm not an asshole."

A smile lifted one corner of Brody's mouth. "I know you're not."

"Then why the warning?"

"People lie to me. Even my parents."

"Are you saying I've lied to you?" I sat back but kept Brody's hand in mine.

"Not yet."

"Not ever, Brody." For fuck's sake. Who had damaged this beautiful man? His parents and his ex-boyfriend? "It's not how I'm built. I will never lie to you for any reason."

"Ricky said he only stayed with me for sex and because I had a fancy apartment. "

My free hand balled up. If I ever ran into this Ricky character, he was going to find his face on the other end of my fist. The penny dropped. "He blamed your autism."

"Said I was impossible to live with. That I was too rigid and unfeeling."

"Brody." I wanted to reach for his face and brush the worry off his rosy cheeks with my fingertips. "I don't feel either of those things when I'm with you."

Brody peered up at me, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I have trouble trusting people."

"I'd like to tell you that you can trust me, but I know I need to earn that trust."

"That's true." Brody tipped his head and smiled. "But you're most of the way there."

My heart felt instantly lighter. That had been a heavy conversation and we had emerged unscathed. I felt honoured that Brody had opened up to me about his concerns when it came to being in a relationship. If we continued to be honest with each other, this might work with us. The thought of being with Brody unpacked a whole patchwork of emotions I had never felt before.

"Since I've already kissed you …." I winked at Brody. "May I have your number?"

Brody bit his bottom lip, nodded, and took my phone from me.

Once we had exchanged numbers, our first date wound down. I walked Brody to his car, wishing I could kiss him again, but there were too many people around.

I gave a short tug to his jacket sleeve. "I had a good time."

"Me too."

"Can we do it again?"

"Hiking?"

"Whatever you'd like to do. Maybe some more kissing. "

Brody licked his lips and my legs felt weak. The man could easily bring me to my knees. I would go willingly and with every intention of making him feel so good.

"I'd like to sit on a park bench with you," Brody said. "Maybe talk. Maybe just sit."

I felt a lift beneath wings I knew I didn't have. Brody wanted to be in my company … just to be in my company. He must be feeling about me the way I felt about him. We didn't need to talk as long as we existed with each other in the same space. Feeling each other's warmth. Hearing one another's breath and knowing our hearts might be syncing in a steadfast rhythm.

"I'd love that. I know the perfect one out by Thetis Lake."

"We'll talk about it on Monday."

"Can't wait."

I let him go and watched him drive away. That was the most profound first date I'd ever had with anyone. Packed with so much affection, understanding, and hope.

When I arrived home, I immediately called Liam.

"First date over already," Liam said after picking up.

"We did our hike and then went for an early dinner."

"No follow-up? No my place or yours ?"

"Sex isn't on the table yet."

"Ugh. I don't even understand what that means."

"It means we're moving toward an adult relationship based on mutual understanding and respect rather than the tangling of body parts."

"Doth protest too much. I know you want him."

"Of course, I want him. The guy is pure sex without even knowing it. There's nothing sexier."

"What's your timeline?"

"Jeez, Liam. I don't have a timeline. It'll happen when it happens. "

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend, Noah?"

I smiled. "We kissed for the first time."

"Now you're talking. Was it hot?"

"Scorching but in a gentle and meaningful way."

A moment of pause. "You're hooked on this guy, aren't you?"

"He's special. I might be considering keeping him."

"He's not a pet."

"That's not what I meant. I mean, I really like him—a lot."

"I'm happy for you, Noah."

"Thanks, Liam."

"But you'll still love me best, right?"

I laughed. "You might have competition."

"Fine. Fine. I gotta go. I was headed for the gym."

"Didn't you go this morning?"

"Doesn't hurt to go twice."

"Have you eaten today?"

Liam sighed. "Don't, Noah. I can take care of myself."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "Have a good workout."

"Talk soon. Love you."

"Love you, too."

I tossed my phone onto the couch and sat beside it. I worried about Liam. He'd been going at it harder than usual. That typically meant someone had said something negative to him about his body. Whether it was in person or a comment through a gay dating app. Liam had no idea he was so much more than his appearance. Someday, I hoped someone would come along and help him believe that. Someone who would fall in love with Liam for everything he was on the inside.

That's what was pulling me toward Brody. Sure, he looked like a freaking sex god, but it was what Brody had shown me about the man inside that had me hooked. Not everything reached his lips, but it didn't have to. What he did say was deeply considered. And he trusted me enough to let it be me he spoke to about his life. Now that we'd moved past the awkward small talk, Brody was letting me in. Allowing me a glimpse into a man it seemed few had understood.

I wanted to be that person for him.