Chapter Five | Noah

I couldn't help looking toward the door. It was almost time for Brody to show up for his nightly routine. I must have been preoccupied with glancing up constantly because Liam came up behind me and frightened me by jamming his fingers into my waist.

I almost dropped the drink I was working on.

"Waiting for your boyfriend," he teased.

"He's not my boyfriend."

Liam leaned against the bar top beside me. "Okay. Friend who is a boy."

"I enjoy talking to him."

"He pissed you off last night."

"He said some things I needed to hear from someone other than you guys."

"Ah … so he's smart as well as gorgeous."

I grunted, not wanting to share with Liam what Brody and I had been talking about all week. Today was Thursday. Almost a week since I first talked to Brody. We might've had sex that night and that might have been it. Brody might have started eating somewhere else.

I wouldn't have known what I'd be missing out on. I was enjoying my conversations with him. I wanted our little chats to continue. There was something about Brody that warmed my heart. He was so sincere and direct when he spoke. I suspected he would have no idea how to lie.

And that was damned exhilarating .

Liam spun away from me. "Oop. There he is. Right on time."

I took a step back and laughed when my eyes found the intriguing guy I'd been waiting for. As Brody approached, he was smiling at me. I hadn't known if he knew how to do that.

"Now, you really are the most gorgeous man in here," I said as he took a seat.

"Hey, Noah." Colour blossomed on Brody's cheeks. "So are you."

I winked at him. "Mm. I approve of your appreciation of me."

"It's the truth."

"Wouldn't expect anything but the truth from you."

Then he looked away. His gaze holding mine was always fleeting like he might give too much away if I could study the mahogany depths of his eyes.

"So, how was your day?" I asked.

Brody shook his head. "Don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, tell me something else."

"My parents are divorced."

I bit my bottom lip. A bit more personal than what I'd been fishing for, but okay. "For how long?" I wasn't sure what to ask him.

"Since I was nineteen. My mom and I are good friends."

"That's important. My mom and I aren't."

Brody looked up at me. "Why not?"

"We have a difference of opinion when it comes to my career."

"My mom approves of mine."

I wanted to ask him what it was he did for a living. But decided to let him volunteer that information if it was something he wanted to let me know.

"Are you friends with your dad?" Seemed innocuous enough .

Brody shook his head.

"I have a brother and he has a wife and two boys."

"I have a brother and a sister. My brother is older than me and my sister is younger by a few years. I get along with her the best out of the entire family."

"Do they have children?"

"My brother has a daughter." I winked at Brody. "Let me put in your order." He was fussing with his phone when I came back with his drink.

"Anything wrong?" I asked.

"No, just waiting for an email." Brody squeezed both lime slices into his drink and then dropped them in it. "I only want kids with the right person. What about you?"

My eyebrows rose. Kind of a serious question for someone I barely knew. But someone I was becoming more and more interested in. I wasn't sure how to answer. I didn't have an answer.

"I haven't really thought about it." Not entirely true.

Brody nodded and lifted the drink to his lips. After setting it down, he studied my face for a few moments, searching for something. "My mom lives here in Victoria."

I must have passed his scrutiny.

"Do you see her often?"

"Every couple of weeks I go to her house for dinner."

"We have a mandatory bi-monthly dinner at my parents' house."

Brody's furrowed his brow. "Mandatory?"

"As in miss it and you're out of the will." I smiled and chuckled, trying to make light of what honestly felt like the truth. Every month I had to endure an inquisition. Reports on how my business was doing, the obligatory you should go back to law school and join the family firm , and then when are you going to settle down with a husband and start a family? I could write a script .

"That sounds miserable."

"It is."

"I'm sorry you have to go through that."

"Not your fault." I slid a side plate, a napkin, and a wet wipe onto the bar top in front of Brody as his wings arrived. "Make sure you catch me before you go. I want another one of those dazzling smiles you shot at me earlier to hang on to for the rest of the night."

Cheesy, I know. But Brody made me feel gooey inside. And that smile … that smile had nearly melted me even further. I wanted to see more of those.

Brody smirked. "Will do."

I walked by him a few times. He made the cutest humming sounds as he enjoyed his wings. It endeared him to me. The next night was the same. I was waiting for him. This time I clutched my chest above my heart when he smiled at me, making Brody smile even wider.

I could get used to seeing that every day.

Brody happy.

"What are our topics for this evening?" I asked him once he had his drink.

"My job."

"Ah … I was wondering about that. You know so much about mine."

"I'm a lawyer for BC's Crown Counsel."

I stepped back, eyebrows raised. "Wow. That's impressive. I bet you're good at it."

"It's on me to make sure the trial is fair. I do my best."

"What made you study law?"

"I like the truth."

"Is the truth ever really known in a trial?"

"I try to suss it out."

"Your mom must be proud of you. "

Brody nodded. "She always told me I could be anything I wanted to be. Even when the school told her it wouldn't be possible for me to succeed as an adult, she never gave up."

I balled up a bar cloth and pitched it at the sink. "Why the hell did they say that?"

"I didn't speak much as a kid. Until I started having assignments and tests in school, they thought I was academically challenged. The kids used to harass me something terrible."

"You have no trouble speaking now."

"It took me a long time to get here. It doesn't come naturally to me."

I leaned on the bar top until our eyes were level. "I like the sound of your voice." Brody's gaze flitted away and then came back to me. He hummed a little as he watched me.

"Thank you. Yours is low and lovely."

"Mm." God, I wanted to lean closer to him and lick his lips. I stepped back before I did something that might mess this all up. I liked the slow speed that Brody and I were moving.

"I won't see you again until Monday," Brody said. "I cook for myself on the weekend."

That would be why he hadn't shown up last weekend. And here I thought I'd put him off by not sleeping with him. Turns out, the guy just had a life. I felt like an idiot.

"My friends and I meet here every Sunday."

"Every Sunday?"

I smiled. "We've been meeting for almost twenty years … every Sunday."

Brody's eyebrows almost infiltrated his hairline. "Twenty years?"

"There are four of us. We met in junior high school." I hooked a thumb in Liam's direction. "That beautiful man is one of them."

"Did I hear my name?" Liam shouted over his shoulder .

I laughed and tossed a lime slice at Liam's head. "Asshole."

"That you love," Liam shouted back.

Brody's eyebrows were pinched when I turned back to him.

"It's nothing. I love all my friends. We've known each other for a long time. Been through so much together. Just friends, though." Not sure why I felt the need to explain that.

Because you like this guy.

"Enjoy your wings."

I needed to step away for a bit. Something was happening between us. I'd never felt a deep yearning for someone like this before. And now that Brody was letting me into his life a little, I felt the pull even more. When I came back, Brody held my gaze and smiled at me.

My heart nearly tumbled into my belly.

"So, I guess I won't see you until Monday," I said.

Brody smirked. "Will you miss me?"

I laughed, reveling in the change in Brody's demeanour from a week ago. "Yes, I will."

"We still have lots to talk about."

"That we do."

"I like talking to you."

"I like talking to you too, Brody."

He finished with the wet wipe and then downed the remnants of his drink. "I should go." He rose from his chair and put on his coat and toque. He looked up at me and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth then sank his teeth into it. He looked adorable. God, I wanted to kiss him.

I shot him my best smile. "Missing you already."

His cheeks reddened and I was rewarded with a shy smile. "See you Monday. "

I couldn't get him out of my mind for the rest of the night. In the span of one week, my world had been knocked off kilter and I'd been left to walk the knife edge of excited and terrified.

I was still deciding which side to land on.

The Rainbow LGBTQ Youth Centre was in its usual state of chaos for a Saturday. Ever since we'd opened our doors to allies, the number of kids who poured in for the programs was wonderful. We were constantly trying to add more and more resources and fun to help the kids thrive.

Jamal was in the process of hiring a therapist who specializes in LGBTQ youth. Doing so was going to be a game changer. Many of these kids had been cast out of their families, or they were too scared to tell their parents they were queer because they feared similar outcomes as the kids who now found themselves living on the streets or in youth shelters, getting by through begging, theft, and prostituting themselves. They'd been robbed of their childhood, and we were doing our best to give some of that back to them.

I walked into Jamal's office to find out what was being done about the computers.

"Hey, Noah. How's your Saturday going?" As always, Jamal was bright and cheerful. He had such a positive outlook on what was being done at the centre.

"The pub is hopping."

"I know I've said it before but thank you for taking time out of your busy day to come down here and help us. You have no idea how much it's appreciated."

"It's the least I can do for these kids. I wish I'd had a centre like this growing up."

Jamal rolled his wheelchair to a position behind his desk. Many years back, before I knew him, Jamal had been hit by a car while cycling to work. He'd lost the use of both legs, but he always amazed me with his bright and positive attitude. He was a real inspiration.

"Were your parents supportive when you came out?" he asked.

"Um … sort of. I was fifteen when I told them I was gay. Got my nerve up after telling Liam and then finding out he was gay too."

"So, what do you mean by sort of ?"

"They were shocked. My dad actually said but you act like a boy . As if being masculine somehow negated my ability to be gay."

"And your mom?"

"She lamented about how I was letting the family down . I think she was mostly concerned about what her friends were going to think and say if and when they found out."

"How are they now?"

"They've accepted it. Now they're on about me finding a husband, buying a lovely home , and adopting children to carry on the family legacy."

"Sheesh."

"Yup. Welcome to my life."

"Not to change topics so rapidly, but you and I need to talk about fundraising. You're the only one of the volunteers with a business degree. I figure you're the best person to talk to."

I took a seat. "I'll help where I can. Like I said … you can use the pub."

"I'm going to take you up on that." Jamal flipped open a notebook. "Are you able to provide food at cost if people pay a set amount for their meal during a fundraising event?"

"I could definitely do that. Tickets should be at least $40 to make it work. Plus, a 50/50 raffle of course, and we'll be open to donations. I can have flyers done to display in the pub."

"I'll need to get a license for the raffle. "

I rolled some other ideas through my mind. "I could donate the proceeds from the bar as well. That alone should bring in quite a bit of money."

"Even if we don't hit the $10,000, we should have enough to buy a few computers."

I leaned back in my seat. "Figure the license thing out then let me know a date. The best nights for me are Monday or Tuesday. I can reserve the entire upstairs for the event."

Jamal smiled at me. "I'm excited."

"Should be a good night."

"Anything else exciting happening in your life."

I couldn't contain a grin from lighting up my face. It was becoming a habit every time I thought of Brody. I was looking forward to Monday rolling around again.

Jamal leaned forward. "Oh … there is. Tell all."

"I met a guy."

"That's not unusual. You're always meeting guys."

"No, I really mean met . We've only been talking."

Jamal's eyebrows rose. "So, you're telling me, this guy is special."

"Oh, my God." I lifted my arms and placed my linked hands on top of my head. "So special. He has my gut all tied up in knots. I've never felt this way about a guy before."

"You've been dating?"

"No. He comes into the pub every night. He's been opening up to me more and more each night." I lowered my arms. "And he's gorgeous. His eyes make my insides melt."

"Wow. You're really smitten."

"It's crazy. I've never wanted to kiss someone more."

"Are you going to do anything about it?"

I sighed. "Not sure yet."

"Well … I want to know the details if you do decide to pursue him."

I laughed. "You'll be next in line after Liam. "

"How is that beautiful man?"

"Still the hook-up king."

"He doesn't know his worth."

"You have that right." I rose to my feet. "Is Kyle here? I want to check on him."

"He's in his usual spot. His latest obsession is Oscar Wilde. He brought some books in."

"Jeez, that kid. Can't he read some youth stuff for a change?"

"That's not his style."

I placed my hand on the doorknob, ready to turn it. "Has his mom said anything about why he's like this, practically non-verbal?" I'd been thinking about something Brody had told me about him rarely speaking early on in his life. Maybe Kyle was the same.

"She suspects it's autism, but she hasn't had him tested. I think she's afraid to know. Life will be hard for him. It's why she brings him here. To try to coax him out of his shell."

"My guy from the pub, Brody, he's on the spectrum and he's a criminal lawyer.

Maybe I shouldn't have let that slip. But it was relevant for Kyle. There was no clear-cut outcome for how Kyle's life was going to turn out. I didn't think Brody would mind.

Jamal's eyebrows ticked up. "Maybe there is hope for Kyle."

I opened the door. "I'm going to go talk to him."

Jamal was right. Kyle was in the library reading a book about Oscar Wilde.

"You're sure into the mature stuff," I said as I sat with my back against the wall. "I don't know much about Oscar Wilde. Maybe I'll read that book next."

Kyle closed it and handed it to me.

"No, not right now. You finish reading it first. "

Kyle shook his head and shoved the book at me. It was possible he'd already read it a few times. I'd take it home with me tonight and read it before I was in next.

He pulled a book from the pile beside him. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. The kid really was on a kick. I saw a lot of reading in my future if I was going to connect with Kyle.

I opened the book Kyle had given me and we spent the next two hours reading. Today wasn't going to be a speaking day. Brody had told me conversing didn't come naturally to him. I imagined Brody as a young boy, keeping his thoughts to himself. I wondered if he'd ever been lonely.

The thought made me sad. Maybe that's why his eyes sometimes looked so sorrowful. Not as much anymore, but the emotion was still there on occasion, fleeting across his gaze.

Was he lonely?

Will he let me in even further?

I suspected there was some serious depth to Brody.

I wanted to dive into it and let it surround me.