Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

JESS

L ong after Austin's arrival, it was late and my parents had finally gone to bed. Austin, Slate, and I were out on the porch, drinking spiked lemonades and winding down after the excitement of the day.

My brother leaned against the railing, staring at the monstrous silhouettes of the drilling equipment out in the field. "It looks kind of eerie, doesn't it? Out of place. Something about it rubs me the wrong way."

"It gives me the same feeling," I agreed, my feet on the chair and my knees drawn up to my chest, my eyes following his to the field. I cradled my drink in my hands, sighing as I shook my head. "It's going to change our entire lives, though, and most of all, it'll make things better and easier for Mom and Dad. That's what I keep telling myself when I get that ominous stab in my gut when I look out there."

Austin nodded. "I'm probably just jaded. Nothing is as shady as the oil business."

Austin look to Slate.

"No offense," he added, shooting a look at Slate leaning against the side of the house.

"None taken," Slate said with a one-shouldered shrug. "I know what kind of reputation the industry has. It's a cutthroat and ruthless business, and a lot of the people who work in it deserve that reputation."

My brother grimaced. "Well, to be fair, it's not like investment banking has the best reputation either. I suppose most people think we're a bunch of coke-sniffing alcoholics who'd do anything to make money."

Slate chuckled and tipped his glass at Austin. "Cheers to that. For what it's worth, I really hope you're not a coke-sniffing alcoholic, but if you are, I'll get you help, brother."

Austin laughed, trading some stories with Slate about the people they'd both encountered over the years. Meanwhile, I admired the lines of Slate's body where he casually leaned against the doorway. I couldn't get enough of the man.

In a black tee and sweats, he looked so real and comfortable that I just wanted to cuddle up to him. He'd showered earlier, just before Austin had finally shown up, and his hair had still been damp when I'd grabbed him on the landing.

The clean scent of him was still in my nostrils, and I never wanted it to fade. For just a moment earlier today, when I'd thought he was just another slime ball like Oden Sawyer, I'd felt a rush of emotions that had surprised me.

Anger. Betrayal. Disappointment. And something else.

Something heavier that sliced so much deeper.

I didn't want to believe that I'd caught serious feelings for him, but I couldn't deny how sharp that sense of disappointment had been. Almost like grief.

Maybe even heartbreak, but that's ridiculous.

As I drank some more of my lemonade, I shook my head at myself. Sure, I liked the guy. A lot. I really enjoyed spending time with him and I'd happily spend the rest of my life in his bed with his head between my legs, but I knew it wasn't serious. Despite my occasional, errant daydreams, I knew that realistically, the logistics would never allow us to be together even if we decided that we wanted to be.

I wouldn't have allowed my heart to get involved here, which meant that what I'd felt earlier couldn't have been it breaking. Tearing my gaze away from him, I focused on my brother, who had segued away from work and was now talking to Slate about what it had been like for us as kids on the farm.

"Jess never wanted to be inside," he was saying when I tuned into their conversation. "I can't even tell you how many nights I had to go looking for her."

"Where was she?" Slate asked, eyes smiling as he glanced at me. "Wait. Let me guess. The barn?"

Austin made a gun with his finger and fired it, laughing as he shared a look with me. "You got it. That was her go-to, until she realized that I'd figured it out. After that, she went everywhere but there and the chicken coop."

"Why not the chicken coop?"

"Because chickens suck," Austin and I said in unison.

I grinned at him. "Jinx."

"We're not ten anymore," he complained, laughing. "That doesn't count."

"You still owe me a Coke." I smirked as I thought back to those days. "Don't let Austin fool you, though. He says he was always out looking for me, but the truth is that I was hiding because he was always chasing me."

Austin scoffed. "Why would I have been chasing you?"

"Because you wanted me to do your chores," I said. "What about that time you told me Santa would only come if I mucked the barn by myself?"

He wrinkled his nose and shrugged when Slate cut him a disbelieving look. "What? She believed me, didn't she? That's not my fault."

"You're my big brother. Of course, I believed you!"

"Well, Santa came," he reasoned. "That helped."

"Santa was going to come anyway." I widened my eyes at him. "Also, just because Dad has a white beard doesn't mean he's Santa, Austin."

He laughed. "I forgot I tried to convince you that Dad was Santa. In my defense, he shouldn't have let you catch him putting out the gifts. It was the first explanation I could think of."

"Yeah, only you didn't take into consideration that I was never going to believe Dad split his time between the farm and the North Pole."

My brother's shoulders shook as he laughed. "It was worth a try. Besides, Santa has elves helping him. I figured there was a chance you might believe the big man didn't actually have to be there for the toys to get made."

Slate laughed. "You were kind to try and cover for your dad. I'm not proud to admit it, but I was the one who told Mira Santa didn't exist."

"No," Austin said, his eyes going wide as he shook his head. "Didn't your parents sit you down and give you the talk?"

"Nope." He grimaced. "I guess they didn't think about it, but I might've let it slip in a fit of rage."

"Asshole." I turned to stare at him. "How does Mira even trust you again?"

"Maybe because it was almost thirty years ago?"

"Yeah, but still," I said. "That's terrible. What did she do to you to deserve that?"

"She took my new Lego set and hid it."

I frowned. "That doesn't sound like her. She told me she idolized you growing up."

"Yeah, but she did it to get me to play with her." Slate scratched the side of his neck. "I said I wasn't proud of it."

Austin chuckled. "Dude, if I was you, I'd pick up my phone right now and tell my sister that I love her. Maybe send some flowers. Or jewelry."

"Oh, if you phone her, I'd like to talk to her too," I said. "I haven't checked in much the last few weeks."

I'd been too afraid that if I spoke to her at all about her brother, she'd somehow hear it in my voice that I was harboring a crush on him. Austin pushed away from the railing and drained his glass. Then he strode over to the jug of spiked lemonade we'd brought out with us and topped off our glasses.

Slate smiled at me while Austin was focused on the lemonade. "Let's call her in the morning. They've been going to bed early since the baby was born."

"That seems fair," I said, wagging my finger at him. "Don't you dare call her without me there."

"I won't," he promised, and our gazes caught for a beat, something that made my heart rate spike passing between us.

Austin suddenly spoke up again, breaking the spell with a chuckle. "Remember how we used to get in fights with the neighbor kids for trying to tip our cows in the middle of the night?"

I groaned. "Boy, do I remember those. Do you remember how you always used to run errands for Mom and Dad every chance you got to get a break from chores?"

"Well, that's better than hiding in the hayloft," he said, glancing at me with furrowed features. "What happened to you converting it into a suite for yourself?"

"The hayloft?" Slate asked as if he had to make sure that he'd heard correctly.

I nodded. "Yeah. The hayloft. I've always dreamed of renovating it."

Slate glanced in its direction, and even though it was barely visible in the dark, he started nodding slowly. "I guess I can see how that would work."

"I've already got it all planned out in my mind," I said, not ashamed to share my vision. Just like my daydreams, this was something that was so far out of reach and yet it always made me happy to think about it. "The kitchen would go at the top of the stairs. Like an open concept living, dining, and cooking area. It gets so much natural light and I'd keep it exposed to the barn down below."

Austin arched an eyebrow at me. "You would? You're a hick through and through, sis. I've got to say it."

"And I'm proud of it." I laughed.

"I think that sounds amazing," Slate said, finally bringing his gaze back to mine. "One day, you'll do it."

"Only if we get enough money out of the oil." I managed a weak smile, reminded of Oden Sawyer's presence and the sour feeling it brought to my gut. "Without that, we won't ever be able to afford it, but it's not the end of the world. I like my bedroom just fine."

Austin went back to the railing, turning to look at the machinery appearing like ghosts out of the dark if you focused on the spot for long enough. "There's enough oil out there."

My head slanted to one side. "How do you know?"

He shrugged. "A feeling in my gut. All we need to do is figure out how we're going to get it out of the ground and turn it into cash. Once that's done, you'll be able to convert the loft every day of the week and twice on a Sunday."

I thought back to what Mr. Sawyer had said earlier. I just wrote an offer you'd be foolish not to take.

A shiver skated down my spine and I stood up. "You guys have fun speculating about it all, but I'm too tired. I've had too much to drink and I have an early morning ahead of me."

Like every morning, but I wouldn't change it for the world—or sell it, no matter how foolish we'd have to be to refuse the offer.

Austin nodded and gave me a quick hug. He turned back to the view and sipped his drink. Slate was still leaning in the doorway and he took my hand as I walked past him, giving my fingers a quick, soft squeeze.

"Sleep tight," he said.

"Yeah, you too." I wanted to kiss him, but since I couldn't, I just squeezed his fingers in return and left the men on the porch.

After I got a glass of water in the kitchen to take to my bedroom with me, I paused in front of the window and looked out across the fields. Austin hadn't been wrong about how out of place those machines were out here in farmland.

As I watched though, fireflies began to glow near the drilling equipment and I smiled. That at least made it look a little less out of place. Maybe it was even a sign that we'd done the right thing after all.

If the fireflies were willing to make peace with these industrial giants on our land, then maybe their presence didn't spell disaster for the farm like it suddenly felt like they did. Oden's unexpected visit had thrown me, but maybe that didn't mean that my days as a farmer were numbered just yet.