Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

SLATE

I t'd been several days since I'd broken the news about the cost of taking the next steps. I'd officially been on the farm for just over a week and there was no end in sight to my time here.

The silver lining?

I was growing very fond of my new jeans. They'd already softened up some and they were a hell of a lot more comfortable than my suits. As were my new tees.

I could definitely get used to dressing like this.

Sitting at the kitchen table, I read through my emails as I sipped my coffee. Outside, it was a warm and sunny morning and the house was completely quiet for the first time since I'd arrived.

Jeanie and Doug had gone into town. I'd overheard Jeanie saying something to Jess about going to the bank. I had no idea why people still went into the bank for anything when you could do it all online these days, but it was none of my business. Maybe the local bank didn't have online banking.

Jess had gone out to do her chores, but as I looked up from my phone, I saw her standing in front of the old red barn the family used for storage these days. It wasn't far from the house, just a couple of hundred yards to the left of the carport outside, and I frowned as I watched her prop her hand on her hip and stare at it.

It was in rough shape. Austin and I had walked past it the other morning before he'd gone back to the city. There were holes in the roof and big gaps of rotten wood on the sides. While I imagined it had been beautiful in its day, it seemed like a hazard now.

I really fucking hoped Jess wasn't about to go in there. With her parents out, it would be on me to rush her to the hospital if something went wrong and I had no clue where the nearest medical help could be found around here.

Curious and a little concerned, I abandoned my coffee and slid my phone into my back pocket. Then I got up, headed outside, and joined her in front of the barn. "What are you doing?"

Jess didn't even glance at me, simply staring longingly at the hayloft. "I used to sit up there all the time when I was a little girl. I'd hide from my dad when I didn't want to do my chores and watch the clouds instead. At night, I used to lie up there and look at the constellations."

I followed her gaze to the open hayloft, picturing a younger version of her in my mind's eye. I'd seen pictures of her as a girl in the house and I knew she'd had an unruly mop of curls that had always seemed to have a leaf or a twig in it.

In every photograph I'd seen, she'd been wearing denim. Cut-offs, or overalls, or dungarees, or just plain old jeans, everything she'd had as a child appeared to have been denim. It was easy to imagine that little girl sitting up there, legs dangling over the edge, that mop of curls in pigtails with her chin tilted toward the sky as she watched the clouds.

I had similar memories of Mira doing the same thing—only she'd been doing it on the rigs on the rare occasions my dad had taken her out with us. Since he'd rarely stayed there for more than one night and had been educating us about the industry, grooming me to take over and Mira to back me up—from the safety of the city, of course—he'd flown us out with him from time to time.

As much as he'd hoped she'd wind up choosing a different life, I'd always been of the opinion that deep down inside, he'd known she was the one of his children who had truly been cut out for it. Just like I imagined it'd been with Jess and Austin.

"This must've been a super cool place to grow up," I said, peering at the miles of space around us from behind my sunglasses. "I doubt my parents ever would've seen me if our property had been this big. You guys must've had a ball out here."

"We did," she said. "It was amazing. I loved every second of my childhood. Austin and I started helping out at the farm when we were still really young, but we adored being given some responsibility over the animals."

I chuckled. "I imagine you felt like the luckiest kids alive. It took me a year to convince my mom to get me a pet, and then one afternoon, I got home and she'd bought me fish."

Jess's eyes widened, filling with amusement. She arched both her eyebrows at me. "Is that true? Wow. I mean, talk about a bummer."

"Tell me about it," I said easily. "On the other hand, I loved the fish eventually. I get why you guys felt the way you did about all the animals you must've had here. I think I'd have slept in the barn with the cows."

She laughed. "You? Somehow, I can't really see that happening."

"I would've," I insisted jokingly. "For maybe half a night or so."

"That sounds a little bit more like it," she said, sighing. "Even in my teenage years, I loved living on a farm. And sure, I was waking up at four to do chores before school and that wasn't the best, but once I started, I always enjoyed myself."

"Your passion for what you do reminds me of Mira," I said honestly. "I think she knew the first time she set foot in our dad's office that it was meant to be hers one day."

Jess smiled. "I know exactly how she feels. This is my calling. Just like it was my dad's before me, and maybe one day, I'll pass the responsibility down to my own children."

I looked at her from the corner of my eye, getting the overwhelming sense that she'd be a great mother, but when she caught me staring, she frowned. "What?"

"Nothing."

Her vibrant greens narrowed. Then she punched me in the arm, landing the blow so quickly that I didn't even have time to dodge. "You've been doing a lot of nothing around here, City Boy. Come on. Let me show you what farm life is really like."

"Uh, no," I protested. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm okay. I'm sure it was great doing chores as a kid, but I don't have any farming fantasies left that I'd like to fulfill right now."

Well, not about farming anyway. Farm girl fantasies? Now that's a whole different story entirely.

Jess wasn't having it though. She wrapped her fingers around my forearm and dragged me with her to another barn. The stench grew more intense as we neared it, and I soon found out why. She'd led me into a massive, free stall barn where half of the cows were milling about, their tails flicking and their faces weirdly curious as we walked in.

The other cows were out in the field, wandering around and grazing, letting out an occasional moo to let us know they were still here. I had half a mind to pinch my nose, but I just wrinkled it instead, wondering what the hell she expected from me.

"What are we doing in here?" I asked mildly, folding my arms and deciding I'd dig in my heels if she handed me a shovel.

There sure was enough shit in here to keep me busy for the rest of the day, but I had no intention of being the one who had to remove it. Jess rolled her eyes when she saw me eyeing the shovel standing just outside the door.

"Don't worry, City Boy. You won't be working with one of those today. I'll ease you in. Give you a false sense of security before I move you up to the big leagues."

"Why are we in here, then?"

"I've got a couple of girls with mastitis," she said, her voice softening in what sounded a lot like sympathy as she tipped her head toward a white-gray cow nearby.

I frowned. "What's mastitis?"

"Clogged ducts," she said nonchalantly.

I stopped walking toward the white-gray cow she'd been leading me to. "Ducts?"

"The girls are on antibiotics," she explained as she approached the cow like it was a friend, even running her hand along the wiry hair on the animal's neck. "That alone won't be enough to cure them, though. They need to be milked to keep the ducts clear and help them stay comfortable. I also can't put them on machines or the infection could spread."

I paled. "We're milking them?"

"Sure are," she said happily, patting the cow's behind before glancing back at me. "This is Pepper. She's my sweetest girl. You'll be safe with her."

I eyed the animal skeptically. "What exactly am I going to be doing to Pepper?"

Jess pulled up a pair of stools, positioning them just behind the cow's midsection. Then she sat down and waved for me to join her. "Don't be scared. Pepper won't bite."

"And the others?" I asked dryly, glancing around the barn and wondering if I was about to have my ass literally chewed off.

Jess laughed. "Stop stressing so much. You're perfectly safe. Pepper is the one who should be worried."

I grunted, not disagreeing. "Why put her through it, then? I could always just watch you."

"Nope. This is a ‘ see one, do one ' situation. Who knows? Maybe soon, you'll even get to teach one." She winked. "You know, provided we don't lose the farm and everything, and you stick around long enough to help me train the new farm hands we'll get once we sell that oil."

She handed me a pair of gloves. Grimacing, I watched her snap her own on, smirking at me as she leaned forward and carefully placed her hands on the cow's udder. "Watch and learn, future cowboy."

I tried. I really did, but it was hard not to be grossed out by the sights and smells in here. For starters, milking cows was not a clean, unscented business. Jess dipped her fingers into a tub of super oily looking cream and scooped up a generous amount of it as she worked at the udder.

Secondly, we were wearing gloves, but the residue of the cream made a gross, warm smelling layer on the plastic. I shuddered, and Jess laughed when her gaze met mine. "It's not so bad. Come on, try it."

I leaned forward and peered at her underneath the cow from where she'd put my stool on its other side. "Okay, now that?"

I gripped the cow's udder and followed her lead, asking myself how the hell had I ended up here? And why the hell was it starting to feel like I'd never leave?