Chapter 17

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JOHN

JOHN EYED his phone as he sat at his desk early Monday morning. Adam probably wasn't even awake yet, but John was already bracing himself for a call.

Then again, after Adam's meltdown on Friday, the weekend had gone amazingly well. Adam went through the entire kitchen at his apartment on Saturday, setting aside all the things he neither wanted nor needed. Around lunchtime, with the counters littered with stuff, they decided to go out to eat rather than trying to cook amongst all that mess, and on the way back, John swung into a home improvement store and bought a stack of small moving boxes. They'd spent Saturday evening packing all the items into the boxes after letting Haven pick out anything he wanted to take with him when he moved in with Theo.

The boxes now sat in a neat stack against the wall in Adam's dining room, the empty boxes leaning beside them, waiting to be filled. One of these days, John would have to take a couple hours off work so he could load the boxes into his truck and run down to the donation center, since they weren't open on the weekends, but it would be worth it. Adam had barely made a dent in downsizing—and hadn't yet let go of any of his dad's things—but the weight off his shoulders was already obvious. John couldn't wait to see more of that.

Couldn't wait to see his boy free.

John stayed the night again on Saturday, sleeping just as poorly as he had the night before. No matter how many times he told himself that Frank wasn't there, it didn't matter. John still couldn't shake the feeling of being watched and accused.

But seeing Adam wake up with a smile on his face had been worth it, though it didn't make it any easier. John had known he was going to need a break to regroup, no matter how short, so he could focus on what Adam needed. So, after breakfast on Sunday, John announced he was going to run home for a couple hours to get his chores and grocery shopping done, then asked Adam if he wanted to be dropped off at his car on the way, since it was still parked downtown.

Adam immediately shut down that idea. His apartment wasn't within walking distance of any liquor or grocery stores, and he didn't yet trust himself not to backslide in John's absence.

Which brought John back to eyeing his phone again. Theo and Haven had the day off, so they were using the opportunity to get Haven moved. Which meant, at some point that day, Adam would be all alone in the apartment. Without a car still, yes, but that wasn't foolproof. There were car services he could easily call. John almost considered taking Adam's wallet away, too, even though the very idea rubbed him wrong. Still, he made a mental note to bring it up the next time they talked.

And that, of course, wouldn't be for hours. John scrubbed a hand over his face. He'd gotten to work ridiculously early that morning, trying to make up for his absence on Friday. Even if Adam were awake already, the boy was probably busy helping Haven pack. But once Theo and Haven left? All bets were off. Adam would either continue downsizing his own things or slip right back into grief and depression in the face of his newfound loneliness.

It was a shame the boy had lost his job. The distraction would have been good for him.

A tiny voice in the back of John's mind teased the idea of having Adam move in with him, but John immediately pushed the thought aside. Yes, it would allow him to keep a better eye on Adam. But John also knew he needed to work through his own issues regarding Adam's dad first. Until and unless he got that weight off his shoulders, he didn't want to take a big step like moving in together.

He could see it happening someday, though. A part of him even wanted it, despite knowing what kind of chaos it was going to throw into his quiet, cozy home life. But not yet. He needed to get his own head right first. Otherwise, he'd be no good to his boy in the long run.

John reached out to check his phone again, then snatched his hand back when he heard footsteps right before his office door opened.

"Morning," Ward greeted him as he stepped inside and pushed the door shut.

"Morning."

"Everything okay?" Ward asked. "You took off so quick on Friday."

John nodded and waved a hand, not wanting to get into his personal issues at the office. "Fine, thanks." He took a breath and opened his mouth to ask what he'd missed, but Ward beat him to it.

"Before you ask," Ward began with a chuckle, "everything was fine here." Then he sat down and gave John a recap of his work on Friday.

John made notes for himself while Ward spoke, then checked his calendar and his to-do list so they could make a plan for the week.

"Oh!" Ward said. "I almost forgot. Everett finalized his wine order for the wedding." He got up and went to his own small desk in the corner of the room. "I had our warehouse guys pull the cases and set them aside in reserve." He grabbed a sheet of paper and brought it over to John. "Here's the list."

John took it and scanned the items, slowly nodding to himself. "Good choices," he murmured, then frowned. "Smaller list than I was expecting."

Ward shrugged. "I guess they're not doing a huge wedding. He said their families are both pretty small, and beyond that, they're just inviting close friends." Ward paused, chuckling again. "So it'll probably look like one of Beau's parties. Lots of familiar faces."

John breathed a laugh, nodding in agreement. He set the list aside, making a mental note to swing by the warehouse at some point that day and doubly confirm all the reserved wine was accounted for. "I want to inspect the vines today, before it gets too hot," he told Ward. "Then see how bottling is coming along."

"Sounds good."

John got up and headed outside, with Ward following him. They climbed into one of the vineyard trucks and set off, doing a slow circuit of the property and occasionally stopping to get out so they could see some of the vines up close. The hillsides already looked thickly carpeted in green. John couldn't help smiling at the sight.

Christ . This was just what he'd needed. Fresh air. Sunshine. Surrounded by his vines. John saw the healthy growth all around him and felt optimistic about this year's crop, seeing budburst give way to bloom, which would turn into grapes before he knew it. So long as the weather continued to stay on their side, he saw a profitable year ahead of them.

They had to cut the tour short when lunchtime rolled around. John drove them back to the office, feeling both disappointed and relieved when they skipped past the riesling fields along the way. As much as he needed to check on their growth—or, more likely, lack thereof—John was dreading it. He wasn't ready to see how much that land was struggling. Deep down, he knew those vines would have to be torn out come winter, but John could barely stand the thought of it, let alone the visible proof of it.

Besides, he and Ward had plenty of other work to do that day. They could save the rest of the tour for another time.

John sat at his desk and ate his lunch, then made a quick trip over to the warehouse to check on the bottling process. Before he left, he stopped to look for the wedding wine order. He ticked each item off the list to make sure it was all there, even though he was sure Ward had already done so. Hell, the cases were clearly marked with a sign: Reserved for private event . There was nothing more for John to do.

He stuck around the warehouse long enough to make sure that week's order had gotten picked up by the distributor, even knowing they'd come and gone hours ago, then finally headed back to his office. John was just sitting down at his desk and reaching for his to-do list when the door opened and Adam walked in.

John blinked in surprise. "Hey. What–"

Adam laughed. "You didn't feel your phone vibrate, did you?"

"Huh?" John pulled his phone out of his pocket. Sure enough, the lockscreen displayed a missed call from almost an hour ago. "Shit. I'm so sorry, baby. Everything okay? How are you even here?"

Adam gestured at John's phone. "Haven got all his stuff packed up, and Theo came over to get him moved, and they asked if I wanted to go with them and then go out to lunch, but then Theo realized he forgot his wallet in the break room yesterday," Adam went on, gesturing in the direction of the winery tasting room, "so we had to swing by here first. I saw your truck outside and thought I'd surprise you while Theo and Haven are in there, talking to Everett." Adam paused, squirming where he stood. "They might be a while," he quickly added, his voice turning breathless.

John's cock immediately went hard. "Christ," he swore in a gasp. He hadn't been able to touch Adam all weekend, and the unexpected sight of his boy simply obliterated his self-control. "Lock the fucking door."

Adam whirled around and did just that, then flew across the room.

John pulled the boy into a brutal kiss, then tore his pants open and turned him around, bending him over the desk. He freed his cock, then yanked out his wallet, hoping he still had a condom stashed in there. John gasped with triumph as he threw the wallet down, tore open the wrapper, and rolled the condom on. He didn't even have to check Adam to know the boy was wet and ready. The way Adam pushed his ass back and clawed at the desk made that more than obvious.

"Please," Adam gasped.

John lined up and thrust home, making both of them cry out in relief. He suddenly couldn't remember the last time they'd had sex, though it had to have been recently. Certainly not within the past few days, though, since John couldn't bring himself to do it in Adam's apartment. Not yet. Not while he still felt so haunted by the sight of that urn.

But this, he could do. Even though he knew he'd feel guilty about it later, having sex at his place of work. At the moment, he didn't care. He could practically feel Adam's need twisting around his own as it charged through his entire body, making him desperate. John took a firm hold of Adam's hips and slammed into him over and over.

" Ohhh-hh-hhh , fuck, yes," Adam gasped. He slapped a hand down on top of a stack of papers that threatened to topple, then used his other hand to reach across the desk and anchor himself on the far edge. "John! Fuck. Oh my god. Harder!"

John gladly obliged. He pressed a hand down between Adam's shoulder blades, pinning the boy to the desk as he picked up his pace, fucking into Adam harder and deeper, making the desk rock beneath them, thoroughly testing its sturdiness.

Sweat beaded on John's forehead as he moved faster and faster. He gasped for breath, feeling the first hints of an orgasm just within reach. Christ. Yes. Please . He needed that release. Needed that intense explosion to burst through all the tension in his body.

"Fuck, right there," Adam gasped, his voice going thin and high in desperation. He squeezed his eyes shut and blindly reached back for John. "Right there!"

John slammed into him harder, the sound of skin on skin almost deafening in the small space. His balls drew up tight, and just about the moment John thought he couldn't hold back anymore, needing to feel Adam come first, he saw the boy slap a hand over his mouth to stifle a scream.

"Fuck!" John slammed in hard and deep. His cock pulsed inside Adam's tight channel as the boy's insides squeezed around him.

John let out a gasp of relief and collapsed on top of his boy, his limbs shaking and his chest heaving.

Adam was limp beneath him, a dreamy look on his face. "Holy. Fuck."

"Yeah," John agreed with a gasp. He hadn't realized how badly he'd needed that until it happened.

Adam chuckled, then glanced all around without lifting his head from the desk. " Heh . We just fucked in your office."

John winced. He'd have to tidy his desk and open a window to make sure no scent lingered to hint at what they'd done. But the guilt wasn't enough to make him regret it. Not yet, anyway. Not when they'd both needed it so badly.

"Maybe next time," Adam went on, still pinned beneath him and looking more than content to stay there, "I'll crawl under your desk and blow you."

John cursed under his breath, feeling his cock twitch with interest at the thought of that. Who didn't want to live out that kind of porn fantasy? Still, he knew that would have to wait for another time, if ever at all. They were lucky they hadn't gotten caught as it was. John held the condom as his cock slipped from Adam's body. He strode into his private bathroom, wrapped the condom inside a wad of toilet paper and buried it at the bottom of the trash can, then tucked himself back into his pants and checked his reflection before going back to Adam.

The boy languidly pushed himself up onto his elbows, a smile still dominating his face. "I'll have to tell Theo thanks for forgetting his wallet," he said with a chuckle.

John barked a laugh, then helped Adam fix his clothes. He retrieved his own wallet and stuffed it back into his pocket while Adam went to unlock the door.

Adam pointed at the bathroom. "May I?" He flashed John a grin. "As much as I love what a mess you make of me, it might be uncomfortable when I'm sitting down at lunch."

John growled, tempted to order Adam not to clean up so the boy would be forced to feel it, except he also didn't want Adam to get a bladder infection. "Go on."

Adam ducked into the bathroom and shut the door.

John sat down at his desk, smiling to himself as he straightened everything, hiding the evidence of what they'd just done. Once he was satisfied, he picked up his phone to put back in his pocket, then remembered the missed call. John opened the voicemail app and played Adam's message.

" Hey, John ," the message began. Adam's voice sounded slightly strained, like he was trying to sound happier than he was. " Haven's all packed up and ready to go. But Theo asked me to help them move even though I really don't think they need my help. Haven doesn't have that much stuff, to be honest. Even after I made him take all the DVDs I've bought for him over the years, it's still only a few boxes. Anyway, I'm going with them, and then we're gonna go out to lunch before they bring me back home. But Theo left his wallet at work, so we're gonna swing by there first. Hope I might get to see you, assuming you're not out in the fields or something. Love you! "

John smiled to himself, though it felt bittersweet. Poor Adam had probably been struggling, watching his friend pack and get ready to leave. But of course Adam would put on a brave front for Haven's sake. John set his phone aside, giving it a quick glance as he reached out to tap on the button that would delete the message.

" John, it's Frank –"

John nearly jumped right out of his chair, snatching up his phone and jabbing frantically at the screen. The sound cut off, and John sat there, holding the phone in both hands, staring at it while his chest heaved.

Christ! He must have accidentally hit Play on Frank's message rather than Delete on the one from Adam. Holy shit . John tried to catch his breath, willing his racing heart to slow down. He broke out in a cold sweat while goosebumps popped up all over his skin.

The message was still there. Even after all these years, Frank's message would still play.

"Wh-What was that?"

John flinched and looked up. Adam stood in the bathroom doorway, his little body vibrating with tension as he stared at John. Barely two minutes ago, Adam's face had been full of joy and relief. Now, all traces of those had fled.

"Shit," John gasped. He hadn't even heard Adam come out of the bathroom. But clearly the boy had heard his dad's voice.

"John?" Adam asked again. "What in the actual fuck was that?"

John dropped his phone as though it had burned him. Then he reached out and flipped it over, hiding the screen in an attempt to hide the sound of the voice that had haunted him for nine long years.

How the hell was he going to explain this?