Chapter 34

The next two days were rough on everyone. Megan and Tasha continued to simmer in their own fears and resentments. Sophia picked up on their mood and got feisty. Even Nocturne was getting hissy. No one was happy.

Tasha waited until Sophia was in bed on Thursday night, a process that involved shouting by both Megan and Sophia. Once Sophia was down, she said quietly, “We need to talk.”

Possibly the deadliest four words in the English language. Whenever someone says “we need to talk” it’s rarely a good thing.

Megan said, “I know.”

“I want to start by saying thank you. I spent too many years not speaking with Momma because of stupid pride. You helped me get over that and I’m forever grateful. So, I’m not going to make the same mistake twice. Megan, this isn’t working and I don’t know why.”

“It’s all my fault! I’m trying my best, but I can’t seem to do anything right. Um, I’m so sorry. I knew I would ruin everything. We’ll move out this weekend, I promise.”

“No! Megan… I love you. You’re not moving out, okay? I know that you’re trying really hard. Maybe you’re trying too hard.”

“I just want to be perfect for you.”

“Megan, you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be you. I want to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“On Sunday, when I talked with Maria, she said something to me. Well, first, she asked if I knew why she and I never worked out and then she said it was because I was already taken.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I was already in love with you, I just didn’t realize it yet. I’ve thought a lot about that since then, and I believe that Maria’s right. Even going back to college, no one was ever good enough, because no one was you.”

“But what if I’m not good enough for you, either?”

“You are, Megan! Remember the past few weeks, how much fun we had, how easy things were? Then we both said ‘I love you’ and everything went to shit. Maybe we should try to worry less about that and just be who we are?”

“I’d like that. I feel like I’ve been trying so hard, and that has made you anxious, which makes me anxious. Now I just have to figure out how to be natural. I’m really in my head about this, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, you seem to be having trouble getting out of your own way. If I’m being honest, I think I am, too. Like… I told you that I love you and I just expected fireworks. It’s okay that there weren’t fireworks. You needed to process that, but I feel like I just want to skip past all the hard stuff and get to ‘I do.’”

“Wait, what?”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry!”

“No, Tasha, it’s okay, really. Thank you, that’s amazing. I’m still married to Brad and getting a divorce and you’re thinking that you want us to say ‘I do’ and that’s a lot. I mean, I’m a little bit leery about marriage right now, because… you know. But, you are amazing and you are definitely not Brad. Um… am I making any sense?”

“Sort of.”

“Tasha, I’m really really not ready for ‘I do’ right now. I may never be ready, and that’s not because of you. That’s because of me. I tell you what, um… thank you for being honest with me, that means a lot.”

“Of course!”

“And… if I ever feel like I am ready to get married again, then I’m buying the ring and I’m proposing. That’s the deal.”

“Can I ask why?”

“When Brad proposed, even for all that happened afterward, it was kind of magical in its own way. I mean, if I could go back in time, tell him absolutely not, and yet still have Sophia, then I would totally do that. Sorry, what I’m saying is, I’ve already had that moment and I want you to have it, too. If that makes sense.”

“Megan, that’s so sweet! I like your idea, but maybe we could think about proposing to each other at the same time. I’d really like to give you that magic as well, but, you know, without having to remember Brad.”

“Well, like I said, I’m not sure if I’m ready, and, you know, still getting divorced, but yes, let’s talk. I mean, we should talk about everything.”

“Yes, we should. Hey, Megan.”

“Yes, Tasha.”

“We’re talking and sharing right now, and I don’t feel whatever weird vibe we’ve had all week. Do you?”

“No, actually, this is really nice. Like we’re just communicating and not trying. And… now I might be overthinking things again.”

“It’s fine. I’m just glad that we could talk again. I feel so much better now.”

“Me too. We should probably get to bed soon. We’re still going to your work party tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, if you want to. Really, don’t feel like you have to.”

“No, it’ll be fun. And if it isn’t, then Maria is watching Sophia and we can have a girls night.”

“Oh, good call, Megan!”

“Thanks!” Megan grinned at her. “Oh, is there a dress code or anything?”

“Nah, casual,” Tasha said, thinking of her red dress and surprising Megan.