Chapter 10

MAEVE

At the summerhouse,I"m disconnected from the main house, the claustrophobia from too much time indoors, and the fussing by the guys. I"m coping better with Andrei"s state, now holding Dorian"s words in my heart. Andrei"s stronger than we think. He will come back to me.

The other reason I come here is a double-edged sword, part of which cuts into that hopeful heart. I"m reminded of the stolen moments here with Andrei, the closeness, how his whole demeanour changed when I mentioned Lex could help him daywalk.

Now the desire for daywalking is part of the reason he isn"t here.

Andrei lingers in the summerhouse with the memories as I tuck myself into the cushioned reading nook. For one last way to torture myself, I"ve started reading Dracula.

Not before I"d googled the real Dracula to confirm Dorian and Ash told the truth. If that monster"s blood runs through Andrei"s veins, what if this Tepes side emerges when Andrei returns?

No. That would never happen.

Halfway through reading, I place the book down, cross with myself for placing extra ideas in my head and wander outside. Half-circled by trees, the summerhouse perches on the edge of a slope. The view from the edge resembles a picture postcard on days like these, as the autumn tapestry spreads colour against the grey. Literally, since the local town sells postcards featuring the scenery.

Myhuman world. How long can I stay out here before I"m dragged back into the one I"m hiding from?

The uplifting calm from soaking in nature after a night in the stuffy house drops away as a familiar heartbeat sneaks into my mind. Quietly at first, as the creature always is, but louder the more I focus, like ears ringing after a night of loud music.

The First. Come to gloat? At the thought of the thing touching Andrei again, a new cold runs across my skin as if someone snuffed out the sun.

The creature always moves softly but never silently in its human form, but I"ll always know when the First"s close because of that damn heartbeat. I don"t need to hear the footfalls on the trodden path through the trees to be aware what approaches me. Teeth clenched, I stay focused on the view, eyes watering from not blinking. Running back to the house might make more sense, but it doesn"t matter where I run if the creature wants to harm me.

My own heartbeat thrumming through my ears grows louder when the First doesn"t speak. Even though it"s close, I"m not turning to the creature, fixated on the view as if enjoying the scenery, when all I can see is the shadowy anger that I"ll hold back for Andrei"s sake.

Hairs lift on my arms as the sound of shoes on the earth move nearer and I stay perfectly still, now staring down at the same earth, attempting to calm the gathering dark, as the First walks around to face me.

I lift my eyes from the ground, ready to face the thing, not sure if I need to fake being placid or ready myself to fight. Then immediately step back as I meet Andrei"s eyes. Ringing replaces the heartbeat in my ears, and I"m choked by breathlessness, not the shadows that I expected to emerge.

If this is Andrei. How would I know how he—or any hemia—looks in daylight? Andrei"s eyes are his emerald-green but flecked silver, and his features the same beautiful hemia sharpness. Although his full mouth lost the bluish hue from earlier, his skin has a smooth luminosity not found naturally in a human. Vampire skin is flawless, but this Andrei"s skin is almost too perfect.

Last time I saw Andrei, he lay shirtless beneath one of my fluffy blankets on his bed. Now he"s here, wearing familiar black jeans and a faded grey T-shirt beneath one of his many hoodies.

"Andrei?" Silently, Andrei delves into his pocket and pulls something out. "Say something," I mumble. "Or I"ll think you"re another trick. I saw you an hour ago and you hadn"t moved for days. Now you"re walking."

Andrei"s fringe dips into his face as he flicks something out of a packet and shoves it into his mouth, the scent of mint filling the too large but tiny space between us. "I wasn"t sure how I"d react to your blood."

His voice. As if the sunlight changed his tone, lighter and with a smoother edge.

If this is him.

"Or how you"d react to me, Maeve," he adds.

"You"re not him. Nobody can simply get up and walk out here after a week unconscious!" I blurt.

"No person. Maeve, it"s me."

The gum. I blink. Nobody else would know about the gum, apart from the lost guy I once hid with in the dark, as desperate to touch and taste him as he was me. I"m aware of my breath shortening, a trembling in my hands as I hold everything back the way I did the night I thought he"d died. The way I"d pretended none of this was real. This can"t be Andrei.

I look behind him. "If this is you, where are the others?"

"Not far, since Tobias didn"t want me to approach you unless somebody else came. I kinda ignored him and snuck off." He smirks. "Very Andrei, right?" Then he makes a move closer, and I back up. "I won"t hurt you, Maeve."

My voice won"t work properly but I manage to stammer, "I"ve hurt more in the past few days than ever in my life."

He rubs his forehead. "Yeah. I fucked up. Sorry."

"I almost lost you." The shaking continues to move through me as my mind screams out. Touch him. Kiss him. Know that this is Andrei. But I can"t. I"m so fucking sick of tricks and lies. "How can I be sure this is you? There"s an entity around who can possess bodies and you sound like it." He frowns and I touch my chest. "Your heart beats the same. I thought you were the First walking towards me."

I tense as Andrei slides a hand across my face, the firm gentleness in his touch familiar. His fingers slide into my hair, across my neck while his thumb rests on my cheek, those not-quite-Andrei eyes shining. He dips his head and the mint I haven"t smelled on him for a long time pulls me back to the first moment Andrei touched me this way.

Lips cool from the menthol press against mine with a suddenness that unbalances me. I tip backwards and Andrei catches me, crushing me to his chest. There"s no doubt his arms hold a strength he never had, and they obliterate the world once he takes hold of me.

During the days he wasn"t with me, I"ve touched my lips, heart aching as the ghost of Andrei"s last kiss lingered there, not wanting to accept that was our last. Now this dreamed of kiss drags our hearts together across the lost days, telling me he"s Andrei with more than words could.

I know from this moment that nothing changed, but that everything has.

My legs wobble as Andrei draws away and rubs his lips together. "You taste different," he says, stroking my face, as if I"m as wondrous to look at as a hemia in the daylight. "I can taste the sunshine on your skin... see the real you. You"re beautiful, Maeve."

This guy looks like Andrei. Speaks like Andrei. Kisses like Andrei… "Is this real?" I can"t lose the thick voice, or the state of confusion and shock. "Nothing feels real any longer."

Andrei hugs me to him again. And he smells like Andrei, the mint mingled with the fresh, subtle woody scent. "I know. You told me. A lot." I lift my head, frowning. "I heard everything you said, Maeve. Distantly, like dreaming, but every word."

"Everything?" I ask. "Including the times I shouted at you?"

"Yeah. But mostly hearing how much you want me, Maeve. How loved I am."

"You know I love you," I whisper. "I"ve told you over and over, even when you refused to listen."

He shakes his head. "Loved by all of you. Seeing—well, hearing—everything from a distance without being able to push anybody away, I heard what we all mean to each other. How fucking special what we have is."

"You know that too," I say.

"But I never paid attention. Too busy pissing people off, I guess." He bites his bottom lip. "Like skipping out on Tobias just now once Ash told me where you are. If Tobias realises I ignored him and left the house, he"ll arrive any moment and I don"t have time for his shit."

"Why?" I ask, stomach flipping. "Are you returning to how you were soon?"

"No. This is me, Maeve. Old me with some new me. And this," He holds both hands in the air and tips his head up. "Fucking this. I"m in a different reality, too."

"And me?" I ask cautiously.

"Don"t look worried. I"ve no overwhelming desire to kill you." He laughs, but I scowl. "Maeve, the guy who risked this did so for you. Us. I love you beyond anything I could ever imagine, and would do anything to share the part of your life I never could. That love hasn"t left just because I"m different."

"Different." I snort. "Just a tiny bit."

His hand snakes around my waist to my backside as he pulls closer. "No, Tobias following upsets me because we had plans for the summerhouse, remember?" he whispers in my ear and nips the lobe.

Although a joke, only Andrei would know this. The past us, the ones with plans that came to life. Now we stand by the summerhouse in the sun, but not in the way we wanted.

I wrap my arms around his neck, hands hanging loosely over his shoulders. "Sex in the summerhouse is not how this new life starts, Andrei."

"Damn," he whispers and chuckles. "But you know I'm joking, right?"

"Are you?" I slant my head.

"Mostly." He presses his lips to mine again. "I figured only Andrei would remember that plan, and that"d persuade you I"m him."

"Your kiss told me you"re Andrei." I swallow. "But you"re also not him anymore, are you?"

Andrei"s gaze shifts to my face as he brushes my cheek with his knuckles. "Probably not."

"You really are the king of understating things," I say and half-smile.

Another set of footsteps thud towards us, faster than Andrei"s were, and he rolls his eyes. "Told you."

Tobias emerges from the trees and halts, flustered as his eyes dart between us, assessing every place Andrei touches me, his mind reaching out to gauge our energy. Tobias's gaze meets mine.

"Okay?" he asks and watches Andrei warily.

"I told you he"d come back to us." The words are thick and choked, but Tobias remains tense, ready to snatch me from Andrei at any moment if needed.

"But we don"t know how he"s come back," says Tobias, glancing between me and Andrei.

"Uh. I woke up?"

"You know what I mean," says Tobias crossly. "We don"t know how the First"s blood changed you or what damage this could"ve done."

"I can walk in the daytime, Tobias," he says, face brightening. "The fucking daytime."

But I understand Tobias"s fear. This exuberant Andrei, the day revealing his full appearance for the first time without artificial light, doesn"t look or sound exactly like him. Something"s blood now flows through his veins. A powerful, unstoppable creature"s blood.

A conversation I had with Tobias the other day plays in my mind: "what if he comes back as her puppet?" I argued that"s impossible, and Tobias fell quiet. I hope I"m not in denial.

Andrei"s back, my heart"s complete, and my soul at peace.

I only hope that Andrei"s is too.