15. Lucy

Chapter 15

Lucy

W e ate in companionable silence, and I was pleasantly surprised it was only twenty percent awkward. Our repartee since we got here was serving us well. That and the fact that we’d known each other forever helped us bridge the gap between lifelong kind-of, almost, sort-of friends and two people who currently wanted to screw each other senseless.

“We need music,” he stated, getting up to grab the radio. “Something to distract us.” He stacked our plates and took them to the sink to rinse.

“I totally agree. I don’t like quiet. Silence makes me want to fill it, and everything currently running through my mind to say to you is inappropriate for our current situation.”

“Damn.” He froze in realization. “You don’t even have to be overtly flirty with me, Lucy. In fact, you can try to be the opposite of flirty, and I’ll react. Something about you just does it for me.”

I shifted my eyes to look at him through my lashes as every feeling I had always wanted to feel and never thought I would shot through my body like a lightning bolt. “I apologize for not being sorry.”

He burst out laughing. “Never stop.”

My face scrunched up as I realized I wasn’t doing anything but being my authentic weirdo self. “Wow. I just realized you make me feel like it’s okay just to be me. It’s not my fault you have a nerd-kink, Spencer.”

“You’re fucking irresistible is what you are, and I’m glad you’re being yourself around me. I think I might have a Lucy kink. Like I said before, it’s you.”

Sexy electricity arced through my brain, scrambling it as it shot through my heart and ended up straight between my legs.

“And you’re the hottest, most charming, loving, caring, kindest man I’ve ever met. You never stop. How about that?” That electricity also zapped around in my mouth a little bit. So naturally, I started babbling, cringing inwardly as words poured forth without thought—or rather, with too many thoughts happening at once to sort through before I spewed them out.

I was the walking-talking definition of too much . I always had been.

“You’ve brought all that out in me, Lucy. It’s all you.”

Something clicked into place, and warmth radiated as I allowed his words to sink in.

Maybe I should go outside, shove my head in a snowbank, and cool off. I couldn’t be here wearing a lovestruck look on my face like a fool. I had to find a way to be mentally present.

I watched him, trying to think of something to say, as he fiddled with the radio. “There, finally. Got it.” He placed it next to me on the island.

The slow beat of one of my mom’s favorite songs filled the silence, and I perked up.

“Oh! I love this song.”

“What is it?”

“It’s “Holding Back the Years” by Simply Red. It’s on my mom’s eighties playlist.” I slid off my barstool and held out my hand. “Dance with me, Spencer. I can’t just sit here anymore. I have to do something.”

My invitation hung heavy in the air between us for one terrible second.

So I took the few steps to the window and looked outside. The sight of pity on his face would be unbearable. It would crush me. I wasn’t quite sure what had prompted me to ask him to dance, but it was too late to take it back now. A nervous knot rose in my throat, but I choked it back.

He inhaled a breath as if to speak, then hesitated, holding it as the silence crashed against me like waves on the beach.

I wanted to cover my ears with my hands or run away; anything other than hearing him say dancing together was a bad idea.

But before I could make a joke about it or laugh it off, he answered me. “Like the dance we didn’t get to have together at prom?”

Before I could turn around, I knew he was already there, standing at my back. The warmth of his body eased into mine. My shoulders relaxed as I inhaled a slow breath and turned around.

“Exactly like that. But I’m sure we both have much better moves now.”

Explosive currents raced through my body as he stepped toward me, his hand outstretched to take mine. I took it, then pulled him the rest of the way in with my fingers in his belt loop.

I tipped my head back, chin on his chest, hand on his waist. He pressed our intertwined hands next to my cheek, leading us in a slow, swaying side step.

“It’s your turn to tell me what you want, Spencer,” I whispered. I wanted him to say it out loud. All the things we had in common, the way we wanted to be with each other. I needed him to define it so I could sink into it and believe it. It might be too soon, but I needed a declaration.

“You.” His voice, low and sensual, sent a shiver of awareness through me. “I want you, Lucy.”

“I want you too,” I said on an exhale.

My heartbeat seemed to match the slow pulse of the music as my knees went weak.

He wrapped a big arm around my waist, hauling me against him with a deep, knowing laugh. “I got you, sweetheart.”

“But I meant—remember our first night here? When I told you what I wanted.”

Light flickered from the fireplace, casting the room in a golden glow while stars lit up the sky outside. This cabin couldn’t be more romantic if it tried.

“I remember.” He bowed forward, touching his forehead to mine. “Something real,” his whispered voice filtered between my ribs, burrowing into my heart as his gaze seared into mine. “This is real, Lucy. You’re so fucking beautiful right now.”

He pulled back, brushing my hair over my shoulder before stroking my cheekbone with his thumb.

“Tell me more. Please?”

“I want what you want, all of it. I want real. I feel it with you.”

“I feel it too, with you. I feel everything with you, Spencer.”

“Good.” He paused, studying my face for a beat before a gleam of vulnerability entered his eyes. “We’re safe with each other, aren’t we?”

“Yes, we are.” I snuggled closer into his arms, pressing my cheek against the broad wall of his chest. Sighing when he kissed the top of my head, then letting my eyes drift shut as his chest expanded on an inhale.

One song faded into the next as we held onto each other and let the music carry us away.

“I want to be like my dad,” he whispered into my hair. “Honorable, a good husband and, if I’m lucky someday, a father. I don’t just want to have a wife and kids, Lucy. I want to create a family. I want to participate in all of it and be a true partner. I want to be with someone who understands me. Someone who sees me for who I really am. But what I want the most is to watch TV in bed on a Saturday night after going to dinner or a walk in the park or whatever.”

I pulled away to look at him, and I swear my future flashed in front of me. The two of us here, years later, happy, maybe curled up on the couch watching TV…

His gaze seared into mine, and I saw everything I’d ever wanted right there in his eyes.

“I see you, Spencer.” My breath hitched as I tried not to cry. “I see you so freaking hard. I see nothing but you.”

“I see you too. Damn, Lucy. This is torture, but I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” He buried his face in my neck and breathed in, curling a possessive hand around my hip as he pulled me closer.

All pretenses had faded away. The dance was now only an excuse for us to touch each other. Nothing in this entire world mattered more than me and him and this perfect moment.

“Ten, nine, eight—” A voice from the radio began counting down.

My eyes flew open. “It’s almost midnight, Spencer.”

“…three, two, one.” The sound of fireworks exploding from the radio filled the cabin.

“Happy New Year, Lucy,” he whispered hotly into the side of my neck. My hair ruffled from his breath, and I shivered.

I looked up. His eyes darkened with emotion, reflecting everything I felt for him back at me. I knew this was it—he was the one.

My breath caught in my lungs as my lips parted.